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Far too many men and women have believed and accepted lies causing them to become ensnared and trapped in a false self-perception and identity.

“Sticks ‘n stones may break my bones but words will never hurt me!”

Yeah, right, I’ll buy that one!

What are some of the lies?

If you really knew me you wouldn’t love me.

This lie enables and forms a view and belief that keeps one from honest, transparent and vulnerable relationships because someone just may find out ‘the secret.’

I am just a bad, bad person.

This lie is often embraced because we bought into the notion that my worth is based upon my performance. In other words, when I do ‘bad’ things, I am bad. And when I do ‘good’ things, I am good.

Here’s a big, big lie – especially, in our present culture.

Sex is my greatest need.

Unfortunately and tragically, sex has become a byword for love. Today, far too many have bought into this lie which goes something like this: “I will die if I don’t get my ‘fix” because it’s the only time I truly feel loved and cared for by anyone.”

So, how do we address such lies and what steps are required to reject such lies?

Some times we (Christians) over spiritualize matters and disregard taking practical steps. Such as…

  • Avoid persons, places and things which reinforce and perpetuate the lies. We must seek out those persons, places, and things that under gird the truth. This, most definitely, includes seeking the empowerment of the Holy Spirit, studying God’s Word and remaining in the company of believers.
  • Avoid things that are evil. (Acts 15:20, 1 Peter 2:11) and…
  • Hold fast to things that are good. (1 Thessalonians 5:21-22)

Your self-worth, your true identity is in your relationship to Christ Jesus. If He lives in you (you are born-again), you are a new creature. (Corinthians 5:17)

Affirm this to yourself, speak this to yourself out loud in thought and word. In doing so, you will be embracing the truth of whom God says you are and you will pull the lie(s) of its pedestal.

You can do this!

Believing in Him and in you,

Pastor Phillip Lee

Whether the confession comes from a son or daughter, spouse or close friend, the admission of homosexuality hits like a bombshell, especially in Christian homes.

Instantaneously, life seems completely out of control. You are now headed in a direction you never, ever thought you would be going.

Without fail, a week does not pass without my receiving at least one phone call or email expressing, “Well, I sure didn’t think I would ever be faced with this!”

The majority of calls and emails come from pastors and parents due to a child’s or congregation member’s confession of same-sex attraction. Homosexuality always seems to be someone else’s problem until it knocks on your front door.

How well I remember having to make my own personal declaration to my mother. While my confession occurred many, many years ago, I recall, vividly, having to pick my mother up from the kitchen floor. The ironic truth is that while I felt an immediate sense of relief that “the problem” was now out, my parents, friends, and family members were instantly projected into a state of fear, bewilderment and consumed by a myriad of emotions.

Once the initial impact has subsided a bit, while Christian families know God is the answer, it still takes a long time for them to wrap their mind around how to engage God in what they perceive as needing to be done. Make no mistake, when someone we know confesses their same-sex attraction, many Christians struggle with how to maintain a Christ-like manner and position.

Every individual that awakens to their issue of same-sex attraction has already been through quite a heart-wrenching process and therefore it really doesn’t matter whether the individual has embraced the gay identity or is still combating and resisting temptation as well as seeking freedom from same-sex attraction. Often, very often, parents in particular will respond to the crisis by focusing on their own pain and deep sense of loss forgetting the individual plagued by same-sex attraction has already experienced a huge amount of pain and loss.

Speaking from experience, having waded through years of healing, discipleship, study, and surrender (at times, daily), when homosexuality hit my family, as it has a multitude of others, it brought pain, indescribable pain, and misunderstanding along with it. Largely, because (way back then), no one knew anything about the behavior. Frankly, about the only comment anyone offered was, “It’s wrong!”

Today, just like then, “that’s not good enough and completely unacceptable.”

Not long ago, a Christian friend and mother I have known for many years wrote me and once again uttered the expression I have heard so many times during the 25 years of His Way Out Ministries, “I never thought I would be contacting you with a problem of homosexuality in my family.”

The mother was understandably shattered. Initially, while the mother did respond and react appropriately standing upon the right Scriptures, the son responded with a very interesting and revealing remark.

He said, “Mom, you keep telling me how hard this is for you to hear and deal with. Don’t you realize how hard it has been for me these many, many years, being raised in a Christian home and knowing that once this got out it would kill you? Ultimately, I had to make a decision that I knew nobody would be happy with. Please consider and realize that I have my own demons to fight.”

Frankly, there is a great deal of truth in the son’s comments. Whether we agree or not with the son’s ultimate decision or conclusion that he is gay and entitled to act upon his feelings and desires (which I certainly do not), we must admit that he was right in saying he had reached his conclusion after going through quite an intense struggle on his own. It is very important to remember within the evolvement of same-sex attraction that homosexual tendencies are discovered but the gay identity is ultimately embraced. And, there is a considerable difference between the two.

When any individual discloses their battle with same-sex attraction, their confession enables an intriguing and powerful opportunity to the family and really to anyone that becomes aware. Can I truly continue to love him for who he is and not for what he does?

As a Christ-follower, if we are becoming effective in not putting unrealistic expectations on ‘anyone,’ we are in line to accept them for who they are, not for what we wish they were. It is God’s part to give those that struggle with same-sex attraction abhorrence for the behavior – an abhorrence that will bring them to a place of complete surrender to the sovereignty of God in their lives and a desire to change.

While there are no specific verses in the Bible telling us under what circumstances, if any, we should adopt this or that policy toward a homosexual loved one, let’s consider a few specific communications that need to be offered with the hope and endeavor of keeping the lines of communication open.

What the Bible says and why you disapprove of homosexuality every time you are with your child, friend, co-worker, etc., is not necessary to state. However, do make sure the individual knows the following:

  • You understand that he/she did not ask for these feelings.
  • You appreciate their honesty and transparency in disclosing their issue with same-sex attraction.
  • Your belief regarding homosexual practice as sin is not going to change.
  • You want to protect your relationship through mutual respect and understanding.
  • While you may never agree on the subject of homosexuality, you are committed to not letting that disagreement ruin your relationship.

As faithful followers of Christ Jesus, we must never affirm homosexual practice. But we can at least affirm the fact that the individual struggling with same-sex attraction has tried to be honest with us and has taken quite a risk in telling us, knowing it is not what we wanted to hear.

How well I remember disclosing my own battle with same-sex attraction and giving my family every reason to write me off. Frankly, there was no reason for my family to ever think I would repent and turn completely away from homosexuality.

Thankfully, sometimes when God calls us to release a family member or friend through a prayer of relinquishment, that doesn’t mean He is releasing them as well.

God is saying: “Do all you can do, continue to love them and wait.” Indeed, dealing with the discovery that someone you love has same-sex attraction issues is a difficult stewardship. But the God who gave us this stewardship has also equipped us to handle it and maintain a Christ-like attitude.

“For whatever things were written before were written for our learning, that we through the patience and comfort of the Scriptures might have hope.” (Romans 15:4)

Pastor Phillip Lee
His Way Out Ministries

Whether my travels take me through the States, the Caribbean or South America, I am deeply concerned about youth today and the many inaccuracies, half-truths they are often told and truth which is often withheld enabling them to make clear and intelligent decisions with regard to human sexuality and more specifically, sexual expression.

The teenage years are a crucial period for the Church of Jesus Christ to speak to youth tempted by the various and numerous forms of sexual and relational brokenness.

I submit that society, and sometimes the Church, is unwittingly promoting social experiments and various behaviors with no justification in reality and, with all probability enabling inevitable serious moral problems with potentially tragic consequences.

In trying to ascertain the rightness or wrongness of any behavior or misguided identity, it seems to me the determining factor should be consequence, not cause. Or, have we become completely ambivalent about what is morally right?

Today, the many and various subcultures into which youth are being thrust, have high rates of depression, substance abuse, alcoholism, anonymous sex, and unsafe sex practices. Few teens possess the judgment and self-control to make wise decisions in such environments.

While I have met and continue to meet with youth who are determined to resolve the issues of their sexuality, most feel too inadequate, lack motivation and do not have an individual structured in their life to help them through the process of healing and wholeness.

Reaching youth struggling with their sexual identity is something we all can do and must do to help searching youth understand God’s abundant plans for their lives and to counteract misguided agendas that seek to ruin all hope for the youth. You and I may be the only person that will have the courage to share the Good News with a youth impacted by sexual and relational brokenness.

Practically speaking…

  • Keep the consequence of sin in context. We have all fallen short of the glory of God.
  • Accepting and loving a teenager without conditions has nothing to do with condoning their behavior/lifestyle.
  • Offer to serve as an accountability and prayer partner.
  • Clearly distinguish the difference between temptation and sin.
  • Don’t overreact – be prepared for the “born that way” argument.
  • You are not expected to have all the answers.
  • Never, ever water down the Word of God.
  • Be patient and trust God completely.
  • Emphasize the key to overcoming sexual brokenness and sexual identity confusion is in Christ Jesus.

On the Cross, Jesus secured salvation for any and all who commit their lives to Him. At Calvary, Jesus’ blood put into effect the new covenant. He said, “It is finished.”

With that proclamation, anyone can now walk in the fullness of life that He intended and provides. All things are possible, as Jesus intercedes for us. Assuming our sin, shame and death, He declared, “It is finished,” which is a statement about an end. However, each end makes room for a wonderful and glorious new beginning.

While it is easy enough to become cynical about the times in which we live, remember when God is put in the equation of life, a hope that does not disappoint rises with us. It is true that the number of teens struggling with their sexuality has become alarming, but we should and must trust God and reach out to youth with the message of salvation and sexual redemption available through the Lord Jesus Christ.

Pastor Phillip Lee
Executive Director
His Way Out Ministries

“If you would be My disciple, give up your right to yourself to Me.” (Matthew 16:24)

Today, it seems that some believe we in ex-gay ministry (for lack of better expression) are out-and-about trying to catch people to de-program them from homosexual behavior.

We need to be very clear when people are asking for help. It is imperative we all remember homosexuals are people like you and me – people God loves. How will they come to know God’s love if we, as His family, do not reach out to them? How can we, the Church, truly say we are fulfilling The Great Commission If are not offering and providing ministry to those with unwanted same-sex attraction?

If we truly believe God has the power to change anything, we cannot withhold offering truth, hope, and healing through Christ Jesus. Personally, I believe the extension of His love comes about by and through discipleship.

Christian discipleship is exactly the same for the homosexual struggler as it is for any man or woman combating the very long list of habits, addictions or various behaviors that impact lives. Christian discipleship is the process by which men and women (disciples) grow in the Lord Jesus Christ and are equipped by the Holy Spirit (who resides in our hearts), to overcome the pressures, trials, and temptations that manifest in our lives and become more and more Christ-like.

But how does that play out in the practical sense?

1. Jesus must be put first in all matters of life. (Mark 8:34-38) The homosexual struggler must take a purposed and deliberate step to be set apart from the world. The individual’s focus must be on the Lord Jesus and pleasing Him in every area of life. In other words, put off self-centeredness and put on Christ-centeredness.

2. Follow all the teachings of Jesus. (John 8:31-32) Our obedience to the Father must be like that of a child which enables our being doers of the Word. Obedience is the supreme test of faith in God. (1 Samuel 28:18)

3. Expect change. (John 15:5-8) As a disciple (even those that combat same-gender attraction), our job is to abide in Christ, and “if” we do, the Holy Spirit will produce change, with change being the result of our obedience. As we become more obedient to the Lord and purposed to walk in all of His ways, our lives change. The biggest change will take place in our hearts resulting in new conduct (thoughts, words, and actions), all being representative of “change.” Ultimately, the change we all seek in our lives occurs from the inside out, through the power of the Holy Spirit.

4. In love for other believers (disciples). (John 13:34-35) Clearly, from 1 John 3:10 and 1 Corinthians 13:1-13, we see that love is not just an emotion; it is an action. We must be doing something and involved in the process of discipleship. The attitude for the homosexual struggler as well as those desiring to help or minister to those combating same-gender attraction must be fueled by the motivation of ‘love.’ When it comes to the complexities of life (including homosexuality and related issues), our ‘attitude’ should be the same as that of Christ Jesus.

5. Making disciples of others. (Matthew 28:18-20) Too often, the homosexual struggler and those that have left homosexuality are reluctant to share their faith and tell nonbelievers about the wonderful changes Jesus has made in their lives. No matter what our maturity level in Christian life, we have something to offer. Frankly, some of the most enthusiastic representatives of the Christian life are new believers who have just discovered the awesome love of God. While they may not know what their saying goodbye to “gay” fully means, they have experienced the love of God and want to share their new found lives and identify in Christ with others.

Admittedly, deliverance from homosexuality or any habit, addiction or compulsive behavior, for that matter, comes from a Person and not a method. That said, I am concerned we have gotten far away from the command and calling of our Lord to “disciple” – especially, to the homosexual struggler. Heaven knows, Christians throughout the ages have had sinful habits to overcome and misbeliefs to replace with truth.

I submit that the same Christian ‘disciplines’ that have helped a multitude will also help those struggling with same-gender attraction.

The greatest crisis in our lives just may be the surrendering of our will.

Pastor Phillip Lee
Executive Director
His Way Out Ministries

Each Saturday morning beginning at 7:00am (PST) on KERI 1410AM, and live streamed at www.wilkinsradio.com, His Way Out Ministries offers a 30-minute broadcast dedicated to equipping, educating, and encouraging the Body of Christ to reach out and minister to individuals, families, and churches impacted by the brokenness of same-sex attraction.

Season 3, Episode 26
Join Pastor Phillip Lee and his guest Pastor Brian Busby from Valley Baptist Church as they discuss the role of the Church to men, women, and their families impacted by the unwanted brokenness of same-sex attraction. They also discussed the upcoming Educational Workshop titled Demystifying Homosexuality: Defending Biblical Sexual Morality on Saturday, September 15, 2018, 1:00pm to 4:00pm at Valley Baptist Church/Olive Drive Campus.

Listen online or download the podcast.

Demystifying Same-Sex Attraction with Brian Busby – Download MP3 –

All past episodes of His Way Out Ministries Radio Broadcast are available by following THIS LINK or selecting the “Audio Podcast” category below.

Each Saturday morning beginning at 7:00am (PST) on KERI 1410AM, and live streamed at www.wilkinsradio.com, His Way Out Ministries offers a 30-minute broadcast dedicated to equipping, educating, and encouraging the Body of Christ to reach out and minister to individuals, families, and churches impacted by the brokenness of same-sex attraction.

Season 3, Episode 25
Join Pastor Phillip Lee and his special guest Dr. Clayton Ford, Interim Pastor of Chinese Community Church, San Diego, CA, author of Called to High Adventure: Living the Spirit-Filled Life and National Co-Director of Holy Spirit Renewal Ministries as they continue their discussion on how believing the Bible and trusting in its inerrancy (there are no errors), places each person on the right path of God’s absolute truth regarding His view and holy boundary lines regarding sexual behavior.

Listen online or download the podcast.

Trusting God’s Absolute Truth with Clayton Ford pt2 – Download MP3 –

All past episodes of His Way Out Ministries Radio Broadcast are available by following THIS LINK or selecting the “Audio Podcast” category below.

The Apostle Paul states clearly he is, “not ashamed of the Gospel because it is the power of God that brings salvation to everyone who believes,” (Romans 1:6) yet far too many are withholding God’s truth. Is it fear, is it embarrassment causing some to steer away from truth and the unwillingness to step too deeply into it?

Whatever the cause, many Christians are becoming confused because they do not know what true Christianity is, what the Bible teaches, and what is required of each and every faithful follower of Christ Jesus, largely because they are not being taught the Bible in its entirety.

Not only are believers falling into homosexual sin and legitimizing it but many within the uninformed Church are applauding them as they do. Laws have been changed, same-sex marriage is now legal throughout America and educational systems are becoming more tolerant of homosexual practice by falsely teaching pro-homosexual lessons through health education curriculum. With far too many churches and Christian organizations giving a friendly nod to gay ideology, making Isaiah’s famous warning more relevant than ever:

“Woe unto them that call evil good, and good evil; that put darkness for light, and light for darkness.” (Isaiah 5:20)

I, for one, continue to believe the Church remains God’s vehicle to reach wounded, broken, hurting humanity. In a world that is rapidly spinning toward accepting everything and tolerating anything, we, the Church, must be very, very careful. God has and He is setting opportunity before us. The Gospel must be the priority for the homosexual – just as it must be for each and every faithful follower of Christ Jesus.

Regardless of how we all have been inundated through the media, movies, television, schools, politics, the internet, and tragically in some cases by various faiths promoting, “once gay always gay,” and “can’t change,” it is well past time for the Church to come out of the closet, educate itself, and replace the many lies and myths about homosexuality being campaigned by pro-gay activists, with the real Scriptural truths and facts about same-sex attraction.

I freely admit there is a price to be paid today for discipling men and women according to all of Christ’s teachings – especially with our present culture pushing for greater and greater approval of iniquity. However, the gospel of Christ remains “the power of God unto salvation for all who believe.” (Romans 1:16)

It seems to me no one need fear God’s judgment when teaching and proclaiming Biblical holiness, as Paul said in Romans 8:36, “but in all these things we will be more than conquerors through Him who loved us.”

If we, the Christian community, remain unwilling to awaken from our slumber and become willing to share God’s Word, His truth, as it pertains to homosexual practice, there can be no doubt the biggest losers will undoubtedly be homosexual men and women who (should things continue as they are) just may continue to get everything they want, but will definitely be denied The One whom they truly need.

God has entrusted us with great responsibility, opportunity, and privilege.

Pastor Phillip Lee
Executive Director
His Way Out Ministries

Admittedly, the past few months have been an emotional roller coaster with regard to proposed assembly bills here in the State of California.

However, God in His mercy has granted a reprieve.

I awoke this morning still processing God’s intervention regarding Assembly Bill 2943 being withdrawn by its author, Assembly Member Evan Low. I remain in awe.

The New Testament makes it abundantly clear that evangelism is in some way connected with the final return of Christ at the consummation of all history. Before the final coming of the Son of Man, “the gospel must first be preached to all nations.” (Mark 13:10)

Clearly, the greatest thing you and I can do for all people is to bring them face-to-face with the Christ who died for them.

Twenty-four years ago when God saw fit to birth His ministry called His Way Out Ministries, He could not have been more specific in defining our calling and mission.

The Church
Raise awareness, educate, equip, and encourage the Body of Christ to minister to those who struggle with homosexuality.

Individuals
Lovingly communicate to the sexually broken that God’s mercy and grace are sufficient for transformation. Restoration and wholeness, through competent ministry, prayer, and a caring Christian community is possible.

Community
Effectively and compassionately communicate God’s heart concerning sexual and relational brokenness, while disputing the unchangeable nature of sexual orientation.

Today, freedom from homosexuality in Christ Jesus does not enjoy a lot of good press. However, The Church, Peter reminds us, exists not least to “declare the wonderful deeds of Him who called you out of darkness into His marvelous light. Once you were no people but now you are God’s people; once you had not received mercy but now you have received mercy.” (1 Peter 2:9-10)

This Good News must be shared.

With Great Appreciation to Our Friends and Partners…

A special thanks and heartfelt gratitude to the many individuals and families that have and continue to cover His Way Out Ministries in prayer and for courageously standing with us.

It takes a team to reach around the world with the message of hope, healing, and transformation in Christ Jesus. Therefore, to the ministries and churches, we extend our sincere appreciation for your generosity, advocacy, and support.

“Remembering without ceasing your work of faith, and labor of love, and patience of hope in our Lord Jesus Christ, in the sight of God and our Father.” (1 Thessalonians 1:3)

We wanted you all to know that we appreciate you. Your tireless service for the Lord is reflected in all you do. So we pray that you will know how special you are to us and to carry on the work of God, serving in His love.

From All of Us at His Way Out Ministries

His Way Out Ministries will continue proclaiming to, educating and impacting the world with the Biblical truth that freedom from homosexuality is possible when Jesus Christ is Lord of your life.

To each of you who continually bless us by your encouragement, ministry participation, monthly financial support, offerings, and prayers…we remain truly grateful!

Thank you, thank you, thank you for standing with us!

Pastor Phillip Lee
Executive Director
His Way Out Ministries

Each Saturday morning beginning at 7:00am (PST) on KERI 1410AM, and live streamed at www.wilkinsradio.com, His Way Out Ministries offers a 30-minute broadcast dedicated to equipping, educating, and encouraging the Body of Christ to reach out and minister to individuals, families, and churches impacted by the brokenness of same-sex attraction.

Season 3, Episode 24
Join Pastor Phillip Lee and his special guest Dr. Clayton Ford, Interim Pastor of Chinese Community Church, San Diego, CA, author of Called to High Adventure: Living the Spirit-Filled Life and National Co-Director of Holy Spirit Renewal Ministries as they discuss how believing the Bible and trusting in its inerrancy (there are no errors), places each person on the right path of God’s absolute truth regarding His view and holy boundary lines regarding sexual behavior.

Listen online or download the podcast.

Trusting God’s Absolute Truth with Clayton Ford pt1 – Download MP3 –

All past episodes of His Way Out Ministries Radio Broadcast are available by following THIS LINK or selecting the “Audio Podcast” category below.

For Christian parents, in particular, wading through the tsunami of emotions that accompany the announcement of, “Mom, Dad, I’m gay!” are all but swallowed-up in, “Why has this happened to our family, what do we do now, and Who is to blame?”

Mom, Dad, first and foremost remember that you are a child of God, and He has plans to, “prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” He has promised to be with you always, no matter what kind of calamity or mud pit in which you may find yourself.

Give yourself permission to wade through the myriad of real and genuine emotions. Without a doubt, a considerably strong emotion that will surface at some point is anger.

The Bible tells us, “In your anger do not sin.” (Ephesians 4:26)

It is Ok for a Christian to get angry. Just do not allow your anger to become misdirected. Misdirected anger is useless.

While it is a given most parents experience some measure of guilt regarding the homosexuality of their child, seeking to place blame on friends and other people, circumstances and even God, is often a misdirected attempt to help cope with the situation.

Parents, the brokenness of same-sex attraction is far too complex for you to place all of the blame upon yourselves. If you are hearing the accusation of, “this is all your fault,” I guarantee you that is the voice of the enemy of your soul.

The challenge? To look through the eyes of faith which enables the acceptance of the present reality and ultimately produces, “What now, Lord?” rather than, “Why?” In other words, hold on to God’s promises.

Loving a wayward child the way God loves them means loving them unconditionally. It also means accepting the truth and reality that only God can bring about the change in them you hope and pray to witness.

It wasn’t until many years down the road of a new life in Christ Jesus that my mother shared with me, “You don’t know how many times in prayer I got in the enemy’s face and said ‘I don’t care what he has done or even how many times he has done it, in Jesus’ Name, devil, you can’t have him any more!'”

Choose today to “act” rather than “react” to the unwanted circumstance(s) that have come into your life. Seek a care group, a community in which you can be real by sharing your legitimate concerns. Those in the group need not be experts on the subject of homosexuality and they may not have ever experienced this kind of crisis themselves, but if they are compassionate people, they can give you a great deal of emotional support and nurturing.

Scripture clearly defines the Church as family. (1 Timothy 5:1-2; 2 Timothy 1:2-5; Hebrews 12:7-10). Having a safe environment and opportunity to be transparent with one another enables opportunity to unlock the excessive pressures of this journey called life and relieves pent-up emotions.

Keep Romans 8:28 forever in your heart. God’s promise that, “all things work together for good,” even when things seem to be shattered should take a high position on the priority list of verses on suffering.

At His Way Out Ministries, we have found and continue to see and understand the wisdom of Ecclesiastes 4:9-10, “two can accomplish more than twice as much as one, for the results can be much better. If one falls, the other pulls him up; but if a man falls when he is alone, he is in trouble.”

God loves to walk in and turn things around. He loves to do what looks humanly impossible.

Pastor Phillip Lee

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