One of my absolute all-time favorite movies, directed by Robert Redford, is “A River Runs Through It”.

It is a story about a Presbyterian minister in Montana with two sons. One son most definitely takes a more conventional approach to life while the other is a bit of a rascal. The two men take undeniably different paths in life but remain held together by the bond of family unity and respect.

Sadly, at the end of the story, the renegade son is shot in a gambling dispute and dies. At the end of the film, the father is preaching. His sermon comes from Scripture and focuses on the often limitations of love. He says, “Often times those we love are the most unwilling or unable to accept our love. We reach out, but what we offer is not accepted. And so we find that the help we offer is unwanted – but we can love them all the same. We can love completely, even without complete understanding.”

Caught in the middle of the spiritual vacuum of “say nothing, do nothing” with regard to homosexuality and related issues, is the repentant homosexual that has not only abandoned the sexual sin of homosexual practice but a whole network of support and an identity as well. Surrendering unconditionally to the Lordship of Christ, they enter Church (many for the first time in their lives) with nothing. God, having brought them to a place of repentance, feel very frightened, vulnerable, and very, very alone.

I freely admit that I remain perplexed and deeply troubled by those in the Church that are terrified, if not paralyzed by the gay rights movement, and want to see any further legitimization of homosexuality stopped dead in its tracks but remain hesitant and unwilling to offer ministry to those who desire to come out of the behavior. This makes absolutely no sense.

Today, more than ever, we are in need of churches that will not sidestep truth or grace but offer crystal clear truth on a host of issues, including homosexuality, toward every person. Frankly, this is exactly what the Church was called to be from the beginning, and it is exactly what people are looking for today. It is a Church just like this that saved my life.

Over these past 38 years of my new life in Christ, I have shared numerous times the heart-wrenching fact that all those I once ran with are now gone. To this day, their names, faces, their laughs, haunt me. I clearly and vividly remember a phone call with my closest and dearest friend just before he passed away with AIDS. He remained in San Francisco long after God had transported me back to Bakersfield in 1985 when and where everything in my life changed.

The last thing he said to me over a phone conversation was, “Phillip, we don’t understand what has happened to you, but whatever it is, keep it up. You have found something.”

Indeed, I continue to be haunted by waters.

Many know and understand the importance and significance of reaching the unreached peoples of the world for Christ Jesus. What about the unreached homosexual population?

We, the Christian community, have a lot to learn about bringing Jesus to the gays and lesbians who hopefully will one day knock at the doors of our churches. How about, “If you struggle with homosexuality and feel trapped – there is hope! Come on into Church and investigate the roots and causes of your struggle with homosexuality. We will walk with you as you look past the surface, deep into your heart, and consider God’s will for your life.”

It is the clarity of the Holy Scriptures that should compel each and every faithful follower of Christ Jesus to be a light where there is darkness, rather than hiding our witness from those who need it.

Today, no one, with integrity, can continue to condemn a behavior or a group of people while doing so very, very little to see things improve.

Once again, I find myself wondering…”Do you hear the waters?”

Pastor Phillip Lee
Executive Director
His Way Out Ministries

His Way Out has been faithfully ministering to men and women seeking a way out of sexually broken lifestyles since 1994. We could not do it without the support of Christians like you. Every dollar that you give to His Way Out Ministries helps to further this vital ministry. Won’t you take a minute to prayerfully consider a monthly donation to His Way Out? Please consider making a one-time donation or set up a secure monthly PayPal contribution on our donation page at https://www.hiswayout.com/donate/. Thank you, Pastor Phillip Lee

If you’re a believer who’s been touched by this issue – and these days, who isn’t? I hope you find the content of this article(s) helpful to understand the heart of God to the same-sex attracted and how to share that love.

First and foremost, let’s put even this crisis in its proper context. Embrace the promise of Romans 8:28 that God makes everything – even calamities – work for our good. Admittedly, it is often very excruciating to wait for the ‘good’ to work. I mean, when it seems that everything is literally coming apart at the seams, it’s hard to consider if anything good will really come out of misery.

• My first encouragement is to learn as much as you can about the causes of homosexuality. Simply knowing it is wrong is not even close to being enough.

• Don’t run the matter into the ground every time you see your son or daughter. Often, there can be a good reason(s) for not dealing with a problem right now.

• Do everything you can to keep the lines of communication open and maintain your relationship. If you feel you have been batting your head against the wall seeking resolution of ‘the problem,’ take a rest. It may not be God’s time to deal with the issue.

• Make sure your son or daughter is aware of your belief and position regarding homosexual practice. Heaven knows, God can deal with and use our mistakes but He cannot deal with our inaction. Be clear and precise.

• Do not argue about homosexuality. The very moment the conversation erupts into anger – drop it! Badgering will only produce pushing the individual in the wrong direction. Many problems and issues in life are often solved very indirectly; not when we are consciously dealing with them, but when we are going about our normal lives.

• It is imperative to distinguish between “acceptance and approval.” It is important to separate, both in our own minds and to our loved ones, their individual worth from the acts of homosexuality they may be committing.

• Stay completely away from Christian cliches such as: “God created Adam and Eve, not Adam and Steve,” and “Love the sinner but hate the sin.” Christian cliches only reinforce the belief of many with same-sex attraction that the Christian community is unwilling to truly educate themselves on the complexities of same-sex attraction.

• Do not hesitate to admit when and where the Church has been wrong with regard to men and women with same-sex attraction. We, the Church, have made mistakes and in some cases owe the gay community an apology.

• Refrain from attacking the character of homosexuals when discussing homosexuality. Keep to the real issue: “The real issue is whether or not homosexual practice is, in and of itself, moral.”

• Do not be discouraged if your conversations do not produce instant fruit. What we will answer to God for is speaking truth lovingly and plainly – not for how our loved one responds.

• Be relentless in looking for every opportunity to share it is a personal relationship with Jesus Christ and the indwelling presence of His Spirit which is the foundation needed to overcome same-sex attraction.

• Release control. Let God decide how to bring freedom. God is the only One who can bring about change in the homosexual.

• Let the son, daughter, and everyone know that God has a reputation for transforming trapped people with damaged sexualities. “And such were some of you” applies to all Christians who had formerly participated in homosexuality. (1 Corinthians 6:9-11)

• And, remember, those entangled in sin, of course, will have weak faith, so be merciful to those who doubt. (Jude 22)

Somewhere I read, “Hope is not the conviction that something will turn out well, but the certainty that something makes sense, regardless of how it turns out.” When Jesus Christ is “there,” life has infinite possibilities.

Check out “Home For The Holidays” for a few Do’s and Don’ts.

Pastor Phillip Lee

In 1983, while living in San Francisco, and very much at the time a member of the gay community, I walked out of my Powell Street apartment on a Sunday afternoon, eventually made my way down to Market Street, which is the main boulevard in downtown San Francisco, and happened upon my first gay pride parade.

I say happened upon the parade because I had no idea the event was taking place and having never viewed a gay pride parade before, I was immediately stunned at what I was seeing and seeing in broad daylight on the main drag of San Francisco with thousands of people in robust celebration.

To be perfectly frank, I was thoroughly and completely appalled and disgusted at what I was viewing and what was being celebrated; again, a gay-identified man and member of the gay community at the time.

To this day, when I recall much of what I viewed, I remain astounded as to why many were thrilled and ecstatic in terms of what was being unashamedly paraded before them. That was 1983 and today, little to nothing has changed.

God’s Word is not silent about such festivities or gatherings with Scripture being first and foremost abundantly clear in its clearest explanation of the sin of homosexual practice (Romans 1:24-27) as well as a very definitive warning to people who know intuitively that homosexual acts (along with gossip, boasting, haughtiness, etc.) are sin, “they not only do them but give approval to those who practice them” (Romans 1:29-32).

Clearly, far too many people simply are not aware, they do not know or understand the growing calamity surrounding us and doing its utmost to consume. Certainly, homosexual practice is not a new thing on the scene. The brokenness of same-sex attraction has been around since the fall of man. Not even the celebration of homosexuality is new.

What is new is the normalization of homosexual practice. This is the new calamity because it is a blatant and direct assault on God and His image in man.

No one, no one, escapes the truth that “we reap what we sow” (Galatians 6:7). Sin always brings and carries in it its own misery accompanied by payment due. At some point, payday always arrives. Indeed, sin is fun only for a season (Hebrews 1:25).

Every Christian knows this to be true because we have each come face-to-face with our own sin. Personally-speaking, the most I can say about homosexuality is that it made me feel good, at least for a while.

What I continue to find remarkable regarding the gay community is the great diversity and often disagreement in even what it means to be gay or lesbian.

The gay and lesbian community is by no means a unified front, with all members in complete accord on every topic and issue. Today, fierce opposition easily arises when anyone dares to criticize the various aspects of either the gay or lesbian lifestyle especially with regard to social and political endeavors.

I am confident I do not need to detail that any public expression, especially from the Christian community, that expresses disagreement with any aspect of the homosexual movement, or with homosexual practice itself, is immediately met with accusations of verbal gay-bashing. Such is the reality and influence gay and lesbian activists relish-in and they are still purposed for more.

What many people forget, often conveniently, is that it is more than possible (from a Christian perspective) to question or challenge a behavior, a lifestyle or an identity, and still treat individuals with dignity and respect. Neither truth nor love is homophobic.

I hope, I pray, you will take to heart, mind and spirit what I am about to share.

Faithful followers of Christ Jesus are bound by Agape-love to speak truth about homosexuality; this alone, by itself extends and holds out hope, true hope, for true personal wholeness. Tragically, many have succumbed, with others now allowing desire to determine the “right course” in life.

There is no question homosexual practice is, clearly, only one of the myriad types of behaviors that are condemned in God’s Word, and it is condemned for the exact same reason as the rest – it is counterproductive to human well-being, and an affront to the character of God.

You and I, we are living in an age of reckless sexuality. I believe this to be true, so, and enabled largely because many, including members of the Christian community, have and are stripping the truth away from grace which has created a perversion of God’s person and His plan for humanity.

I have no idea as to exactly when, but at some point, due to “sexual immorality, impurity, passion, evil desire, and covetousness, which is idolatry. On account of these the wrath of God is coming”(Colossians 3:5-6).

Psalm 119:136 says, “My eyes shed streams of tears, because people do not keep your law.”

Herein, I believe, lies the question every man and every woman must consider because it defines the difference.

“Do I grieve and weep over sin or do I celebrate it?”

I am recalling 39 years ago, surrendering my life to Christ Jesus and entering Church for the first time in my life, then, at that time, no one was wishy-washy about sin. Sin was called sin, and no one pretended they didn’t struggle with it. It was at that time and for the first time in my life, I began to be who God created me to be.

Thankfully, God’s truth and His redemptive power continues to genuinely separate the sinner from the sin. Gratefully, because until that occurs in life, true joy and freedom can never be truly known.

In the end, it will not matter why God has spoken in the way He has; the essential is what He has spoken.

Pastor Phillip Lee
Executive Director
His Way Out Ministries

His Way Out has been faithfully ministering to men and women seeking a way out of sexually broken lifestyles since 1994. We could not do it without the support of Christians like you. Every dollar that you give to His Way Out Ministries helps to further this vital ministry. Won’t you take a minute to prayerfully consider a monthly donation to His Way Out? Please consider making a one-time donation or set up a secure monthly PayPal contribution on our donation page at https://www.hiswayout.com/donate/. Thank you, Pastor Phillip Lee

Sometimes courage skips a generation. However, that may not be said of the many men and women around the world that have privately, publicly and courageously said “No!” to both same-sex practice(s) and the LGBT identity. Not being ashamed of the Gospel, you have boldly proclaimed its precepts while standing up to an increasingly hostile culture that demands your silence. Thank you and bless you for bringing courage back to the Body of Christ.

* * * * * * * * * *

A few friends and ministry colleagues find it fascinating, if not intriguing, I remain in dialog with members of the gay community, including gay activists.

While not entirely, our conversation(s) and our exchange largely began because I became concerned and alarmed with all the media attention given to the bullying of members of the gay community, and, not much, to my knowledge, was or is being offered, mentioned, or discussed regarding the hate that is often spewed and perpetrated against men and women that have said, “No” to homosexual practice and have rejected the LGBT-identity.

I am confident many today are not aware there continues to be men and women with unwanted same-sex attraction that have and are making the personal decision to leave homosexuality. As a result, formerly LGBT-identified men and women are often reviled simply because they dare to exist.

Should not “diversity” and “tolerance” be a two-way street by recognizing and including the once LGBT-identified man or woman? We are real, and we are here.

Thirty-nine years ago, I said goodbye to homosexuality and the gay identity. Like all faithful followers of Christ Jesus, I had to face the decision of accepting or rejecting Christ’s Lordship. Coming out of homosexuality required deep emotional healing and a restructuring of my whole identity, as our Creator, God, is the only One who knows exactly how to restore our personality.

I remember so vividly when coming to know Christ at the age of 35, what it meant for the first time in my life to be a man. But more importantly, what it meant to be a godly man. For me to deny or not share what Christ has done in my life would be the equivalent of denying Him.

Thankfully and gratefully, I am far from the only individual that has experienced change. God has not been silent to the cries of men and women wanting freedom from homosexual feelings and behavior. Many have experienced the power of Christ to address the deep needs of both men and women trapped in same-gender struggles.

One gay activist challenged me by stating, “Phillip, while I commend you regarding your concern about ‘intolerance,’ I just can’t get my head around (ex-gay). Why don’t you just be true to yourself?”

“Be true to myself? That is exactly what I am doing.”

What makes one individual happy and content may not make someone else happy, because we are all individuals. I, like any man or woman, deserve the right to self-determination and happiness. To give sexual orientation protection to one group while excluding another is outright discrimination.

Without testimony from all sectors of society, including the once LGBT-identified community, public policy on the topic of homosexuality is seriously flawed.

Ex-LGBT-identified men and women are routinely denied equal access to participate in public school events and present on diversity day.

Ex-LGBT-identified conferences, workshops and seminars are frequently picketed by pro-gay protesters.

Transgender individuals are affirmed for changing their gender, but former LGBT-identified men and women are ridiculed for making the decision to address and change their sexual orientation.

Ex-LGBT-identified men and women are subject to an increasingly hostile environment where they are labeled as perpetrators of (hate) simply because they advocate for or live out a different belief and view of homosexuality.

Ex-LGBT-identified men and women are criticized and face lifelong intolerance for simply existing as living proof that homosexuality is not innate.

Frankly, the welfare of individuals, society, and the Church as a whole depends on our facing the subject of homosexuality honestly, compassionately, and courageously.

Yes, homosexuals have the right, as do others, to believe that homosexual behavior should be accepted as normal. However, they do not have the right to demand everyone else agree with them.

True love is loving in spite of our differences and treating each other with kindness and respect. This is what it means to live in a society in which freedom of speech, religion (and belief) is guaranteed.

Pastor Phillip Lee
Executive Director
His Way Out Ministries

His Way Out has been faithfully ministering to men and women seeking a way out of sexually broken lifestyles since 1994. We could not do it without the support of Christians like you. Every dollar that you give to His Way Out Ministries helps to further this vital ministry. Won’t you take a minute to prayerfully consider a monthly donation to His Way Out? Please consider making a one-time donation or set up a secure monthly PayPal contribution on our donation page at https://www.hiswayout.com/donate/. Thank you, Pastor Phillip Lee

Today, attempts by pro-gay theologians and pro-gay apologists to revise the historic teachings of the Church with regard to homosexual practice are relentless.

Admittedly, their effort to persuade the clergy and theologians of the moral legitimacy of homosexual conduct has not been carried out in a vacuum. Battles continue, as those who favor homosexual practice promote the notion that there is no clear answer to the issue. There are even those that attempt to persuade under the banners of ‘love’ and ‘commitment’ that homosexual relationships be justified.

Today, there are powerful forces at work with the enemy having accomplished much by utilizing his divide and conquer tactics. Clearly, many are now worshiping another Jesus. A Jesus which has been created by man that requires absolutely no sacrifice, makes no demands of obedience, and is completely and totally silent when it comes to sexual sin.

Scripturally speaking, what do we know about homosexuality?

– We are created beings and created with a specific intent. (Genesis 1:26-2:23) God’s blueprint for human sexuality as found in Genesis 1 and 2, clearly establishes that from the beginning God had a divine intent for human sexuality with well-defined holy boundary lines to live within regarding sexual expression.

– God’s divine intent for human sexuality is fulfilled within the covenant of a monogamous and heterosexual union. (Matthew 19:4-6)

– We are a fallen race, and the Fall has marred every part of our experience, including our sexual experience. (Romans 5:12-19)

– The Apostle Paul defines homosexual practice as a symptom of fallen humanity, describing it as unnatural and unseemly (Romans 1:26-27).

– Homosexuality is a manifestation of fallen nature and it violates created intent. (1 Corinthians 6:9-10)

– Homosexuals are redeemable and change is possible. (1 Corinthians 6:11)

Nowhere within the totality of Scripture will you find even one positive statement about homosexual practice. Every time homosexuality is mentioned it is always mentioned as a behavior in which no man or woman is to practice.

Difficult as this standard is to obey, it is the calling of Christ for all His followers, including those with same-sex attractions and desires.

The problem with pro-gay theologians and pro-gay apologists is their theorizing and speculating on what Scripture does not say about homosexuality while a true faithful follower of Christ Jesus stands upon the clarity and authority of Scripture regarding homosexual practice. Revisionists can justify virtually any type of sexual relationship, including those traditionally and historically considered immoral.

Revisionists have been quite successful in confusing compassion with acceptance of homosexual practice. Those promoting ‘the liberating power of love,’ continue to blur the lines by citing ‘some of God’s Word’ as too repressive. However, Jesus Himself repeatedly affirmed the relevance and importance of moral law:

“Do not think that I have come to abolish the law or the prophets, I have come not to abolish but to fulfill. For truly I tell you, until heaven and earth pass away, not one letter, not one stroke of a letter, will pass from the law until all is accomplished.” (Matthew 5:17-18)

Ultimately, any effort to redefine homosexual practice (in any form and to any degree) as acceptable and consistent with biblical faith constitutes an attack upon the very foundations of the Christian faith and Church.

As revisionist attacks will no doubt continue, faithful followers of the teachings of Christ must continue to counter any and all attempts to make homosexuality morally acceptable. Not to do so would undermine the traditional and historic Christian understanding regarding sexual morality.

The Gospel message that Jesus preached was and is a message of repentance and surrender. Like Jesus, His followers are to suffer the rejection of the world. We are intended to be at odds with the thinking and attitudes of this world. To water down the Gospel to make it acceptable is to lose the truth and life of God’s message.

In a world that is rapidly accepting everything and tolerating anything, faithful followers of Christ Jesus must be extremely careful. Many false teachers exist today with their underlying message being homosexuality is acceptable for anyone who wants to engage in it – a direct contradiction of Scripture.

Today, virtually nothing in society promotes the truth about homosexuality.

The lies that homosexuality is a fulfilling, normal and healthy alternative saturate the media. Many are tenacious and relentless in elevating same-sex desire to the level of a moral norm.

The Church is presently faced with a challenge of significance of which is nearly impossible to exaggerate. Is ‘tolerance’ to be extended without limitation to any and all kinds of sexual expression? Is any kind of sexual relationship scripturally permissible as long as it is ‘consensual’? Does it all come down to a matter of personal taste?

I still believe the Church remains God’s vehicle to reach wounded, broken, hurting humanity. Therefore, may we, His Church: Affirm the biblical position that God loves all persons, with homosexuality being one sin among many others and that the Holy Spirit is available to transform all persons – including the same-sex attracted individual.

Minister to persons with unwanted same-sex attraction and their families as partners in Christ’s work of healing and transformation.

Call the Church to recognize and confess its need for repentance of its welcoming and affirming of homosexual practice in the Church.

“He has showed you, O man, what is good. And what does the Lord require of you? To act justly and to love mercy and to walk humbly with your God.” (Micah 6:8)

Pastor Phillip Lee
Executive Director
His Way Out Ministries

His Way Out has been faithfully ministering to men and women seeking a way out of sexually broken lifestyles since 1994. We could not do it without the support of Christians like you. Every dollar that you give to His Way Out Ministries helps to further this vital ministry. Won’t you take a minute to prayerfully consider a monthly donation to His Way Out? Please consider making a one-time donation or set up a secure monthly PayPal contribution on our donation page at https://www.hiswayout.com/donate/. Thank you, Pastor Phillip Lee

“When we have children, we release hostages to fate.” – John F. Kennedy

Recently, I spent the evening with numerous parents, Christian parents with LGBT-identified children. Long after the meeting concluded in my mind I continued to revisit and process the many things shared.

A common thread that frequently surfaced during the meeting was distinguishing between “acceptance and approval.”

Loving a wayward child the way God loves them means loving them unconditionally. It also means accepting the truth and reality that only God can bring about the change in them you hope and pray to witness.

It wasn’t until many years down the road of a new life in Christ Jesus that my mother shared with me, “You don’t know how many times in prayer I got in the enemy’s face and said ‘I don’t care what he has done or even how many times he has done it, in Jesus’ Name, devil, you can’t have him anymore!’”

Choosing to “act” rather than “react” to the unwanted circumstance(s) that have come into your life is a healthy first-step forward. Seek a care group, a community in which you can be real by sharing your legitimate concerns. Those in the group need not be experts on the subject of homosexuality and they may not have ever experienced this kind of crisis themselves, but if they are compassionate people, they can give you a great deal of emotional support and nurturing.

Scripture clearly defines the Church as family. (1 Timothy 5:1-2; 2 Timothy 1:2-5; Hebrews 12:7-10). Having a safe environment and opportunity to be transparent with one another enables opportunity to unlock the excessive pressures of this journey called life and relieves pent-up emotions.

Keep Romans 8:28 forever in your heart. God’s promise that, “all things work together for good,” even when things seem to be shattered should take a high position on the priority list of verses on suffering.

At His Way Out Ministries, we have found and continue to see and understand the wisdom of Ecclesiastes 4:9-10, “two can accomplish more than twice as much as one, for the results can be much better. If one falls, the other pulls him up; but if a man falls when he is alone, he is in trouble.”

Our Part: As faithful followers of Christ Jesus, our part is to respond with godly love, understanding, patience and to clearly define the difference between acceptance and approval.

As Christians, we accept all people but that does not mean we approve of how they may be living.

God’s Part: To give strugglers an abhorrence for the behavior that will bring them to a place of complete surrender to the sovereignty of God in their lives, and a desire to change.

God loves to walk in and turn things around. He loves to do what looks humanly impossible.

Pastor Phillip Lee
Executive Director
His Way Out Ministries

His Way Out has been faithfully ministering to men and women seeking a way out of sexually broken lifestyles since 1994. We could not do it without the support of Christians like you. Every dollar that you give to His Way Out Ministries helps to further this vital ministry. Won’t you take a minute to prayerfully consider a monthly donation to His Way Out? Please consider making a one-time donation or set up a secure monthly PayPal contribution on our donation page at https://www.hiswayout.com/donate/. Thank you, Pastor Phillip Lee

Speaking from experience, having waded through years of healing, discipleship, study, and surrender (at times, daily), when homosexuality hit my family, as it has a multitude of others, it brought pain, indescribable pain, and misunderstanding along with it. Largely, because (way back then), no one knew anything about the behavior. Frankly, the only comment anyone offered was, “It’s wrong!” Today, just like then, “that’s not good enough and completely unacceptable.”

Some time ago, a Christian friend and mother I have known for many years wrote me and once again uttered the expression I have heard so many times during the 30 years of His Way Out Ministries, “I never thought I would be contacting you with a problem of homosexuality in my family.”

The mother was understandably shattered. Initially, while the mother did respond and react appropriately standing upon the right Scriptures, the son responded with a very interesting and revealing remark. He said, “Mom, you keep telling me how hard this is for you to hear and deal with. Don’t you realize how hard it has been for me these many, many years, being raised in a Christian home and knowing that once this got out it would kill you? Ultimately, I had to make a decision that I knew nobody would be happy with. Please consider and realize that I have my own demons to fight.”

Frankly, there is a great deal of truth in the son’s comments.

Whether we agree or not with the son’s ultimately decision or conclusion that he is gay and entitled to act upon his feelings and desires (which I certainly do not), we must admit that he was right in saying he had reached his conclusion after going through quite an intense struggle on his own. It is very important to remember within the evolvement of same-sex attraction that homosexual tendencies are discovered but the gay identity is ultimately embraced. And, there is a considerable difference between the two.

When any individual discloses their battle with same-sex attraction, their confession enables an intriguing and powerful opportunity to the family and really to anyone that becomes aware. Can I truly continue to love him for who he is and not for what he does?

As a Christ-follower, if we are becoming effective in not putting unrealistic expectations on ‘anyone,’ we are in line to accept them for who they are, not for what we wish they were.

It is God’s part to give those that struggle with same-sex attraction abhorrence for the behavior – an abhorrence that will bring them to a place of complete surrender to the sovereignty of God in their lives and a desire to change.

While there are no specific verses in the Bible telling us under what circumstances, if any, we should adopt this or that policy toward a homosexual loved one, let’s consider a few specific communications that need to be offered with the hope and endeavor of keeping the lines of communication open.

What the Bible says and why you disapprove of homosexuality every time you are with your child, friend, co-worker, etc., is not necessary state. However, do make sure the individual knows the following:

• You understand that he/she did not ask for these feelings.
• You appreciate their honesty and transparency in disclosing their issue with same-sex attraction.
• Your belief regarding homosexual practice as sin is not going to change.
• You want to protect your relationship through mutual respect and understanding.
• While you may never agree on the subject of homosexuality, you are committed to not letting that disagreement ruin your relationship.

As faithful followers of Christ Jesus, we must never affirm homosexual practice. But we can at least affirm the fact that the individual struggling with same-sex attraction has tried to be honest with us and has taken quite a risk in telling us, knowing it is not what we wanted to hear.

How well I remember disclosing my own battle with same-sex attraction and giving my family every reason to write me off.

Frankly, there was no reason for my family to ever think I would repent and turn completely away from homosexuality. Thankfully, sometimes when God calls us to release a family member or friend through a prayer of relinquishment, that doesn’t mean He is releasing them as well.

God is saying: “Do all you can do, continue to love them, and wait.”

Indeed, dealing with the discovery that someone you love has same-sex attraction issues is a difficult stewardship, but the God who gave us this stewardship has also equipped us to handle it and maintain a Christ-like attitude.

“For whatever things were written before were written for our learning, that we through the patience and comfort of the Scriptures might have hope.” (Romans 15:4)

Pastor Phillip Lee
Executive Director
His Way Out Ministries

His Way Out has been faithfully ministering to men and women seeking a way out of sexually broken lifestyles since 1994. We could not do it without the support of Christians like you. Every dollar that you give to His Way Out Ministries helps to further this vital ministry. Won’t you take a minute to prayerfully consider a monthly donation to His Way Out? Please consider making a one-time donation or set up a secure monthly PayPal contribution on our donation page at https://www.hiswayout.com/donate/. Thank you, Pastor Phillip Lee

To date, you have based your understanding of today’s social issues on the Bible’s truth. However, mainstream culture not only sees these issues differently but calls you bigoted for rejecting views they have deemed self-evident.

So where do you “go from here and how do you remain a witness of Christ’s love to those ready to label and right you off as hateful?”

Having/holding the right positions is good.

Living them is better.

Today, anyone who believes in upholding and protecting the Lordship of Christ and the Authority of Scripture, especially its relevance to social issues, as well as offering a defense for sound doctrine will most assuredly find himself in an intense battle.

Articulating Biblical precepts can get you fired, canceled, censored, and possibly even jailed. The demand for dedicated faithful followers of Christ Jesus to be silent is growing.

However, we must never be ashamed of the gospel – and we are told to proclaim its precepts.

If the Christian community is ever to meet the challenge of the relentless pro-gay assault upon the Church and God’s Word, it is essential and imperative the Church recover its purpose and proper place by preaching and teaching the entirety of Scripture as it applies to all of life – which includes the realm of sexual ethics and morals.

For faithful followers of Christ Jesus, following the teachings of Christ and being purposed to reach men and women struggling with same-gender attraction may inflict a tremendous personal challenge, if not a very high price.

However, if we are truly in love with Jesus, our willingness and obedience to go in His Name does not really cost us anything, it is a joy. But it just might cost those who do not know Him or refuse to follow Him a great deal.

Over and over again, I have found that teaching and testifying about a God that saves and delivers from the snare of homosexuality causes many people to have their plans for life upset. The world and its effects have worn away the faith of many. While it is continued to be taught and preached that God can do the impossible, do we still believe that?

When it comes to the issue of homosexuality, the Church has become fractured and viewpoints can differ from church to church, denomination to denomination, and believer to believer.

While some say, “God created some men and women homosexual; acting out sexually doesn’t matter, you are saved by faith and not works; homosexuals were created to be lost; God accepts you where you are and no change is necessary,” each and every one of these misguided false statements flies in the face of the Gospel of Jesus Christ.

I have even tragically heard it said, “the very best a homosexual can hope for is celibacy,” when it comes to change. Is it any wonder the man or woman struggling with homosexuality is often completely confused about the Christian viewpoint? Too often, the individual trying to follow and be obedient to the full Gospel of Christ encounters someone who is there to tell him he doesn’t have to change his life, just change churches. It is far easier to change churches than it is to be obedient and change your attitude and behavior.

As a Christian, I must be obedient and involved in the full purposes of God which will often cause many to be offended. However, being obedient to Jesus never brings dishonor to Him. The only thing that dishonors Him is not obeying Him.

I believe an appropriate question for the Church today regarding homosexuality and related issues is, “Am I being loyal to the notions of Jesus, or loyal to Him?”

Are we, His Church, remaining loyal to what He has clearly stated in His Word regarding homosexuality, or are we trying to find compromises with conceptions that never came from Him?

Helping a man or woman to come out of homosexuality takes a tremendous amount of effort. Frankly, it is much, much easier to say that it simply can’t be done than to embark on a journey that may last for a very long time. Tragically, many have counted the cost and ultimately made the decision that it simply wasn’t worth the effort. However, that never has, nor will it ever minimize God’s power or His sovereignty.

Yes, God is more than able to change our life, but He requires our obedience and participation. Unfortunately, we live in a world today that seeks, if not demands, a simple and natural explanation for just about everything. Anytime we look to the world for definitive answers, we place ourselves on shifting sand.

When a person who was once controlled by his sin is now free from that sin and engaged in a new kind of life pattern, hasn’t change occurred?

Oswald Chambers states in My Utmost for His Highest, “A man is a slave for obeying unless behind his obedience there is recognition of a holy God.” I find it remarkable that God never insists on our obedience, but when we truly know Him, we want to instantly obey Him and live according to His perfect will from sunup to sundown.

Indeed, obedience is much better than sacrifice. However, the wonderful hymn, “I Surrender All,” does not seem to be at the top of the charts today. Today, like never before, God desires that all men and women surrender their sexuality to Him. When anyone is obedient and fully surrenders their life to Him, which includes their sexuality, life will take on new meaning, purpose and a relationship with God, that many never thought possible, will become a reality. Why? Because God always blesses obedience.

“I tell you the truth unless a kernel of wheat falls to the ground and dies, it remains only a single seed. But if it dies, it produces many seeds. The man who loves his life will lose it, while the man who hates his life in this world will keep it for eternal life.” (John 12:24-25 NIV)

Today, there remains a remnant being used of God to bring repentance and restoration to men and women with unwanted same-sex attraction. Personally, I continue to hope and pray their example will bring repentance and restoration to the Church of Jesus Christ.

Holiness, godliness, and spiritual discipline should be, must be the distinctive marks of the true Church. Jesus prayed that His people be kept in truth: “Sanctify them by Your truth. Your word is truth.” (John 17:17)

Compromising God’s Word, His Truth, or withholding His Truth only leads to greater unity with the world and not His Church.

As Christians, may we never forget that while our obedience to the Great Commission may cost us personally, the good news of spiritual deliverance through Jesus Christ remains an important and vital resource that Christians must share.

On God’s truth is where a Christian, the Church must stand.

Pastor Phillip Lee
Executive Director
His Way Out Ministries

His Way Out has been faithfully ministering to men and women seeking a way out of sexually broken lifestyles since 1994. We could not do it without the support of Christians like you. Every dollar that you give to His Way Out Ministries helps to further this vital ministry. Won’t you take a minute to prayerfully consider a monthly donation to His Way Out? Please consider making a one-time donation or set up a secure monthly PayPal contribution on our donation page at https://www.hiswayout.com/donate/. Thank you, Pastor Phillip Lee

If you believe in an all-powerful God, the most obvious answer to this question is “Yes!”

While some say – God created some men and women homosexual; acting out sexually doesn’t matter, you are saved by faith and not works; homosexuals were created to be lost; God accepts you where you are and no change is necessary – each an every one of these misguided false statements flies in the face of the Gospel of Jesus Christ. I have even tragically heard it said “the very best a homosexual can hope for is celibacy” when it comes to change.

Too often, the individual trying to follow and be obedient to the full Gospel of Christ encounters someone who is there to tell him he doesn’t have to change his life, just change churches. It’s far easier to change churches than it is to be obedient and change your attitude and behavior.

Often, caught in the middle of the emotional conflict regarding “change” is the person who struggles with unwanted same-sex attraction. To him, (and I use the pronoun generically for both men and women) the issue of change is more than just an issue of emotional debate. It strikes at the very core of his being – either bringing hope or despair.

The Oxford American Dictionary defines change as to make or become different; to pass from one form or phase into another. Certainly, for any individual the greatest change is to become a Christian and know that your destination has been changed from hell to heaven; to become born-again.

The question, “can homosexuals really change?” is a fair and monumentally important question. Based upon the ministry experience of His Way Out Ministries, each person seeking to overcome same-sex attraction is different. The men and women that have exited homosexuality span a wide variety of ages, personalities, occupations, nationalities, and church denominations. Some of these men and women have been free from homosexual involvement for ten or twenty years. They are not just suppressing their homosexual or lesbian longings. There has been a true resolution of this issue in their lives.

Having been around the phenomenon of change for quite some time, I am convinced that much of the conflict regarding same-sex attraction and change comes from a misunderstanding of the meaning of change. Redemptive changes occur in all of us as human beings and are precipitated by many things – God’s timing, our desires, our commitment to God and the healing, restoration process, our past involvement in sinful behavior, and what it was that pushed us toward the particular sin in the first place. With same-sex attraction it is no different. The contributing factors to a person having an issue with same-sex attraction are numerous and complex. However, that does not minimize God’s power and sovereignty, nor does it change the undeniable biblical evidence that God can change the life of a person involved in homosexuality. Homosexuals have been experiencing change since the Bible was written. (1 Corinthians 6:9-11)

Yes, change occurs within a process; a process that takes time. Spiritual growth is a lifelong process. Working through character faults and past hurts, immaturities and insecurities is a long process for everyone, not just the recovering same-sex attracted individual. What are some of the specifics within the process? What are some of the battles each man and woman will undoubtedly face?

There must be an admittance I need to change. It’s pretty tough to admit I need to change, especially if I can recall having same-gender desires for as long as I can remember, and they feel natural. To admit I need to change is to say there is something wrong with the way I am or the way that I live. That’s a pretty tough pill to swallow because it hurts our ego. However, admitting that I need help is a courageous first step. Change is a cooperative venture between God and us through the power of the Holy Spirit.

Leaving homosexuality is something like submitting to major spiritual surgery. Identity becomes in absolute turmoil. That should not be so surprising since anytime we make a change in our behavior, it is usually because the pain involved in that behavior outweighs the pleasure. Maybe you’ve noticed? While we know intellectually, we must make a change, our feelings do not necessarily follow – men and women that say good-bye to homosexuality or lesbianism, experience grief, disorientation, and confusion. This is because when we lose something or someone important, the loss registers deep within our being. Not surprising, the loss impacts our life, and we grieve. For men and women coming out of homosexuality the loss can be multifaceted: an identity, possibly a partner, a secure living situation, etc. The change is often dramatic and the grief, disorientation and sometimes confusion that often follows, can be devastating.

Exposing the roots and opening old wounds can be costly. Why study or explore the root(s) of any form of brokenness? In terms of same-sex attraction, understanding homosexuality development points the way to true resolution. The changing of any behavior necessitates retracing the steps that have brought us to this point. Looking at family dynamics, painful childhood experiences, physical or sexual abuse, peer pressure, temperament and interests, societal influences, all can play a part in shaping a person’s sexual orientation. If I desire to understand how I arrived at this point, I must delve into my life, examining the path I have taken and what might have robbed me of a healthy heterosexual identity. Identifying painful situations and working through them is part of the process.

Being totally committed to the will of God. Why do some make it out of homosexuality while others don’t? One common denominator among those men and women that have experienced significant change involves the issue of surrender and control in their lives. Nothing short of total commitment to the will of God (despite feelings, emotions, hormones, temptations, etc.) will hold the same-sex attracted individual to the discipline needed for the change process. Ultimately, the Lordship of Christ and the Authority of Scripture must prevail in all circumstances and take priority regardless of what I think or feel. Sexual sin is very insidious. At its core, it is a need to be loved – to be held and treasured. But like many of Satan’s tricks, sex becomes a cheap substitute – the means to an end. Commitment to God’s will necessitates death – a death to self – a death to “what I want when I want it” and giving over to what God wants for me. It is putting God on the throne of my life instead of self.

Indeed, there is a cost to “change.” This is often, as the saying goes, “where we separate the men from the boys.” Ultimately, a person’s freedom or deliverance from homosexuality comes from a Person, rather than a method. Ironically, the interesting thing about the change process is that change itself is not the goal. Change of any type or to any degree will only occur when that person pursues a far more compelling goal and focus. Freedom, change, healing, restoration only occurs when we look upward to Jesus and are purposed to enter more deeply into fellowship with Him. As our Creator, God is the only one who knows exactly how to restore us and bring about change.

While it continues to be taught and preached God can do the impossible, do we still believe that? When it comes to the issue of same-sex attraction, the Church has become fractured and viewpoints can differ from church to church, denomination to denomination, believer to believer.

As true faithful followers of Christ Jesus, may we never forget that while our obedience to the Great Commission may cost us personally, the good news of spiritual deliverance through Jesus Christ remains an important and vital resource that all faithful followers of Christ Jesus must share.

If we are truly in love with Jesus, our willingness and obedience to go in His Name does not really cost us anything, it is a joy. But it just might cost those who do not know Him or refuse to follow Him a great deal.

“I tell you the truth…unless a kernel of wheat falls to the ground and dies, it remains only a single seed. But if it dies, it produces many seeds. The man who loves his life will lose it, while the man who hates his life in this world will keep it for eternal life.” (John 12:24-25 NIV)

Finally, when an individual who was once controlled by his sin is now free from that sin and engaged in a new kind of life pattern, hasn’t change occurred?

Oswald Chambers states in My Utmost for His Highest, “A man is a slave for obeying unless behind his obedience there is recognition of a holy God.” I find it remarkable that God never insists on our obedience, but when we truly know Him, we want to instantly obey Him and live according to His perfect will from sunup to sundown.

Pastor Phillip Lee
Executive Director
His Way Out Ministries

His Way Out has been faithfully ministering to men and women seeking a way out of sexually broken lifestyles since 1994. We could not do it without the support of Christians like you. Every dollar that you give to His Way Out Ministries helps to further this vital ministry. Won’t you take a minute to prayerfully consider a monthly donation to His Way Out? Please consider making a one-time donation or set up a secure monthly PayPal contribution on our donation page at https://www.hiswayout.com/donate/. Thank you, Pastor Phillip Lee