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His Way Out Ministries Podcasts are dedicated to equipping, educating, and encouraging the Body of Christ to reach out and minister to individuals, families, and churches impacted by the brokenness of same-sex attraction.

Stephen Black

Season 3, Episode 5
Phillip is joined by Stephen Black, Chairman of Restored Hope Network, Executive Director of First Stone Ministries in Oklahoma City, OK and author of his new book titled, Freedom Realized: Finding Freedom From Homosexuality and Living a Life Free From Labels.

In part 2 of our discussion, Stephen and I discuss, Why this book, and why now? Does God condemn a person for being same-sex attracted? What does it mean to live a life free from labels?

Stephen offers great insight and truth in “understanding homosexuality.”

Listen online or download the podcast.

Freedom and Change with Stephen Black pt2 – Download MP3 –

All past episodes of His Way Out Ministries Radio Broadcast are available by following THIS LINK or selecting the “Audio Podcast” category to the right.

I became a Christian very late in life, and as a result, I came to Christ with a whole lot of excess baggage. You know, stuff! Not unlike a multitude of others, I thought (at least to a degree), that a lot of my “stuff” would instantaneously just “poof” and disappear. It didn’t occur to me that I did not arrive at my broken place in life overnight – therefore, not everything was going to be resolved overnight. I had programmed deep into my thinking a whole truckload of experiences, activities, and beliefs that were anything but what God had intended. And, nobody pushed the “clear button” when I became a believer. All of that stuff (lies) was recorded in my mind and enabled the strongholds which directly affected how I say myself and others.

It is a fact that life is a series of choices that lead us. We are the choosers – we have control over our choices and what we believe, though at times we may feel that we have no choice. This is exactly where many “lies” come into play and seize opportunity. Proverbs 23:7 tells us, “For as a man thinks in his heart, so he is.” If I continue to see myself based on my past – my past addiction, my past behavior, my past identity, even allowing the things (today) that may sorely tempt me – I will remain stuck and bound.

In the dictionary, a “vow” is defined as “a solemn promise or declaration by which a person is bound to an act, service, or condition.” In Scripture, over and over again we see references to vows and oaths.

“Again, you have heard that it was said to the people long ago, Do not break your oath, but keep the oaths you have made to the Lord. But I tell you, Do not swear at all; either by heaven, for it is God’s throne, or by the earth, for it is His footstool; or by Jerusalem, for it is the city of the Great King. And do not swear by your head, for you cannot make even one hair white or black. Simply let your Yes be Yes, and your No, No, anything beyond this comes from the evil one.” (Matthew 5:33-37)

How often have I heard, “I have had same-gender attraction for as long as I can remember and I guess I always will.” According to John and Paula Sanford in their book Transformation of The Inner Man, “an inner vow is a decision and resolve either to do or not to do a certain activity, event, or to have or not to have a certain attitude or relationship. It is a determination set by the mind and heart into all of one’s being usually set early in life, and often forgotten.” Personally speaking, I have often found that the attitude in which I face the mountains in my life always has a direct and profound bearing on just how long “the mountain” may remain in my life.

If I, or anyone for that matter, continues to define their identity based upon their sexuality (homosexual), it implies the possibility of one’s behavior or sexual orientation can never be minimized or changed. In other words, how we label ourselves reveals what is of prime importance in our life. There is an absolute finality about labeling oneself. It implies the matter is closed and that a final decision has been reached.

How I remember to this day when I was just a little guy, those that would constantly encourage me to play a variety of sports that I really didn’t want to play but did because “that is what little boys did.” That sense of reality coupled with the disappointment and downright hurt and shame of generally being the last to be picked for “the team,” caused me to make a decision (a vow) that I was never going to play “those stupid games” again.

Now, I realize just how my attitude and decision (which really wasn’t based in truth it was just a perception on my part), catapulted me down a path that led to years of struggling with self-worth and acceptance. The incredible irony regarding sports activity was that I was pretty dog-gone good at a number of sports.

Oh, the inner traps (vows) that cause such heartache, pain, and sometimes years of disillusionment and despair. It took me a very long time to realize that I was most definitely a “guy” that just happened to have different interests, gifts, and talents that didn’t match the abilities, gifts, and talents of others. No gender confusion, just specific gifts God had granted me and placed within me to ultimately honor and glorify Him.

Embracing an inner vow, belief, and proclamation of, “I am gay and will always be gay,” can most definitely set the shape of our entire being and character. It is entirely possible for the entire structure of a person’s personality to be built around one inner vow. Now hear this! There is always much, much more to a person than just their sexuality! However, the owning of one’s identity which is based upon, “I’m gay!” can and often does shape the individuals personality for life.

The inner vow of seeing oneself as “always homosexual” must be addressed and ultimately broken. If not broken, the strong possibility exists that the individual will fall to relying upon the power of their flesh to lead the Christian life, to be good, righteous, and holy. Freedom, true freedom, comes by faith as well recognizing that an inner vow just may have placed us in a position of defeat and not victory.

To this day, I thank God I did not become a Christian to leave homosexuality. I became a Christian because Jesus just made sense. Heaven knows, where I came from and what I was doing made absolutely no sense whatsoever.

Today, I continue to find that God will take me as far as I am willing to go. The path of healing from same-sex attraction comes about only through a genuine and intimate relationship with Jesus Christ. The addiction and bondage to homosexuality can be broken. I say “can be” because Jesus has given us free will. The essential first step is wanting Christ and all that He offers.

Indeed, each and every faithful follower of Christ Jesus must obey the truth in order to be purified and ultimately made whole. The wonderful and glorious promises of God remain and shall forever be that there is an end to homosexual desire if we yield to God’s truth and not the opinion of man.

Every Christian has been given the God-given right to cancel any vow made in the past or present.
 Begin, today, by seeing yourself as God sees you. The only remedy for any lie you may have embraced or bought into is to confront it with truth. His truth.

Pastor Phillip Lee
Executive Director
His Way Out Ministries

His Way Out has been faithfully ministering to men and women seeking a way out of sexually broken lifestyles since 1994. We could not do it without the support of Christians like you. Every dollar that you give to His Way Out Ministries helps to further this vital ministry. Won’t you take a minute to prayerfully consider a monthly donation to His Way Out? Please consider making a one-time donation or set up a secure monthly PayPal contribution on our donation page at https://www.hiswayout.com/donate/. Thank you, Pastor Phillip Lee

His Way Out Ministries Podcasts are dedicated to equipping, educating, and encouraging the Body of Christ to reach out and minister to individuals, families, and churches impacted by the brokenness of same-sex attraction.

Stephen Black

Season 3, Episode 4
Phillip is joined by Stephen Black, Chairman of Restored Hope Network, Executive Director of First Stone Ministries in Oklahoma City, OK and author of his new book titled, Freedom Realized: Finding Freedom From Homosexuality and Living a Life Free From Labels.

Stephen and I discuss, Does the Bible say change is possible? Why are some still believing the “born that way” notion/theory? Is transformation instantaneous or a process? Why is it so important to have a Christian support network?

Listen online or download the podcast.

Freedom and Change with Stephen Black pt1 – Download MP3 –

All past episodes of His Way Out Ministries Radio Broadcast are available by following THIS LINK or selecting the “Audio Podcast” category to the right.

Question: Is the actual goal of God the Father to make us perfect specimens of what He can do or is His greater goal to bring each and every one of us into perfect communion with Himself?

Christian perfection has never been nor will it ever be human perfection. Christian perfection is that state of being in a real relationship with God which then manifests itself among the many twists and turns of life and certainly the many irrelevancies of life. Personally, years of study and experience have clearly taught me that regardless of how much doctrine I may know, until I have a clear picture and heartfelt sense that God is truly gracious and good, there will never be any lasting victory in my life.

Looking back, it was more than difficult to believe that God fully accepted me when my conscience told me otherwise. I cannot begin to tell you that the Scriptures which spoke about judgment all applied to me, and the ones that spoke mercy – well, they were for someone else. Numerous personal experiences in my life taught me that people only loved you as long as you pleased them. Therefore, did God really love me in spite of all that I had done and been?

It was the Holy Spirit that helped me see that the Scriptures that speak of judgment are directed at the stiff-necked sinner and not the one who is struggling with sin. As well, I came to understand that God’s promises of mercy are to all that trust in Christ and I was challenged to accept them by simple faith. The more I developed my intimate relationship with Jesus, the more my fears subsided, and, in their place, peace and confidence grew. Incredibly, there were two friends (of the old life) who did not desert me. Thankfully, there were new friends who, knowing all, still loved and accepted me. Trust me, their friendship, love, encouragement, and support, provided tangible proof of God’s love. My faith grew.

I cannot count the numerous times I have read, studied, revisited, meditated upon, etc., the various contributing factors to a person having an issue of same-sex attraction. Recently, during a phone conversation with a friend, I was asked, “Was it what happened to you that caused a struggle with homosexuality, or what didn’t happen?” Bam!

While many of us (men and women that have come out of homosexuality) felt we were victims, if we or anyone stops right there and refuses to see a thread of grace running through a myriad of sufferings, we end up being victims who have no hope. Whatever may have happened or did not happen in our lives as long as we blame others or the circumstances of life over which we often had no control, we remain trapped and unable to do anything to bring about change in our lives.

For anyone to find freedom from homosexuality, an undermining of feelings and a letting go of what did or did not happen must occur. Ultimately, the person begins to see God as a loving Father whose unbelievable grace can bring blessing out of all that has been missed or suffered.

Has all the study, meditation, introspection, and questions been worth it? You bet ‘cha. As I have claimed and continue to claim, God is for me in every circumstance of life because of His blood and His righteousness. Solid peace and joy have driven away the old depressions that were at times incredibly crippling. By accepting the truth that God will never abandon me – because Christ has endured all the wrath that I deserve – I know that I am never alone. All things considered, I am satisfied to strive for and ultimately live in a perfect relationship with God the Father so that hopefully and prayerfully, my life will produce a desire and a longing for God in other lives.

You know, life is not just a struggle for the one struggling with homosexuality. It’s a struggle for everyone and no one meets all of life’s challenges flawlessly. It is monumentally important to remember that God does bring good out of trouble. Otherwise, sorrow will swallow us up.

Homosexuality took my self-respect and gave me guilt, took my honor and gave me shame, took my honesty and gave me a double life, took gentleness, and made me a deceiving, angry man. However, out of all that stuff, came a walk with God, freedom, strength, and vulnerability, the ability to help others, and maybe, just maybe, the beginning of wisdom.

It has all been worthwhile.

Was it what happened or what didn’t happen? No doubt, a measure of both.

Pastor Phillip Lee
Executive Director
His Way Out Ministries

His Way Out has been faithfully ministering to men and women seeking a way out of sexually broken lifestyles since 1994. We could not do it without the support of Christians like you. Every dollar that you give to His Way Out Ministries helps to further this vital ministry. Won’t you take a minute to prayerfully consider a monthly donation to His Way Out? Please consider making a one-time donation or set up a secure monthly PayPal contribution on our donation page at https://www.hiswayout.com/donate/. Thank you, Pastor Phillip Lee

His Way Out Ministries Podcasts are dedicated to equipping, educating, and encouraging the Body of Christ to reach out and minister to individuals, families, and churches impacted by the brokenness of same-sex attraction.

Phillip Lee and Wayne Blakely

Season 4, Episode 19
Pastor Phillip Lee continues his discussion with Wayne Blakely, Founder and Director of Know His Love Ministries. God defines the difference between right and wrong. And, He has made sexual pleasure to be good…in the context of His moral boundaries set for it. Wayne shares about his 40 years living as a gay-identified man and both offer a response to “Same-sex attraction…Why me?”

Listen online or download the podcast.

Feelings Are Not The Real You with Wayne Blakely pt2 – Download MP3 –

All past episodes of His Way Out Ministries Radio Broadcast are available by following THIS LINK or selecting the “Audio Podcast” category to the right.

Am I gay or am I Christian? Can I even be homosexual and Christian at the same time? If being a Christian means I am no longer homosexual, then what am I? What’s wrong with having a homosexual identity? If I’m not acting out homosexually, do I really need to give up the gay identity?

Permit me to rephrase the above allowing us to get to the heart of the matter: “Is it possible for a Christian to struggle with homosexual temptations?”

The Bible is clear that no Christian is sinless (1 John 1:8-10). Admittedly, the specific type of brokenness, desire, and temptation varies from one Christian to another, but all Christians struggle with sin, and all Christians sometimes fail in those struggles (1 Corinthians 10:13). However, a true faithful follower of Christ Jesus will always repent, will always return to God, and will always resume the struggle against sin. This, I believe, truly distinguishes a Christian’s life from a non-Christian. A true follower and disciple of Christ Jesus continually submits his or her heart to God for ongoing renovation.

Difficult as it may seem, the answer is “yes” to the question: “Do I really need to give up the gay identity?”

There are two reasons why our old identity must die.

(1) The homosexual identity is based on our sinful past. As believers in Jesus, all of us are commanded to put aside our old identity, whether that be homosexual, drug-user, adulterer, or alcoholic. We are called to embrace a new lifestyle in Christ Jesus. Put off your old self, which is being corrupted by its deceitful desires (and) put on the new self, Paul exhorts in Ephesians 4:22-24.

(2) The homosexual identity is based on our present temptations. While a man or woman may still be tempted homosexually, that does not make them gay or lesbian. Our identity in Christ is not defined by the things that tempt us. Our identity is not found by looking backward to our past, or by looking inward to our fleshly nature. Both of these indicators will give us a false report about who we are. To find our true identity, we must look elsewhere. The Bible never speaks of homosexuality as a person’s identity but simply condemns homosexual actions. Ultimately, the Bible distinguishes behavior from identity.

Therefore, “Is it possible to be a gay Christian?”

If the phrase “gay Christian” refers to a person who struggles against homosexual desires and temptations, then yes, a “gay Christian” is possible.

However, the description “gay Christian” is not appropriate or accurate for a man or woman that does not desire to be gay and is struggling against the temptations. Such a person is not a “gay Christian,” but rather is simply a struggling Christian, just as there are Christians who struggle with fornication, lying, and stealing.

Ultimately, any individual who is actively, perpetually, and unrepentantly living a homosexual lifestyle, or any behavior God has clearly defined as sin, is standing in a very dangerous place.

Why am I bothering to communicate all of this? Because learning the hows and whys of homosexuality and understanding God’s perspective on same-sex attraction will go a long, long way in increasing the effectiveness of the Church in sharing the Good News of Jesus Christ.

It is long overdue for many in the Church, and homosexual strugglers themselves, to stop singling out homosexuality as the worst of all sins. If a person actually engages in homosexual acts, that person is often thought to be unsaved. However, the same assumptions are not made, at least not with the same rigor and emphasis, regarding other sins such as fornication (pre-marital sex), idolatry, adultery, thievery, covetousness, alcoholism, slander, and deceit. We must stop declaring those guilty of pre-marital sex as just, well, “disobedient Christians,” while declaring homosexuals definitively non-Christians.

As Christians, knowing, understanding, and embracing our true identity in Christ Jesus is critical and essential if we hope to grow in Christian maturity. Ultimately, no faithful follower of Christ Jesus should ever allow that which tempts them or issues of their past to dictate who they truly are in Christ Jesus.

Christian, your relationship with God through Christ is the cornerstone of your identity.

Pastor Phillip Lee
Executive Director
His Way Out Ministries

His Way Out has been faithfully ministering to men and women seeking a way out of sexually broken lifestyles since 1994. We could not do it without the support of Christians like you. Every dollar that you give to His Way Out Ministries helps to further this vital ministry. Won’t you take a minute to prayerfully consider a monthly donation to His Way Out? Please consider making a one-time donation or set up a secure monthly PayPal contribution on our donation page at https://www.hiswayout.com/donate/. Thank you, Pastor Phillip Lee

His Way Out Ministries Podcasts are dedicated to equipping, educating, and encouraging the Body of Christ to reach out and minister to individuals, families, and churches impacted by the brokenness of same-sex attraction.

Author Wayne Blakely

Season 4, Episode 18
Pastor Phillip Lee welcomes Wayne Blakely, Founder and Director of Know His Love Ministries. God defines the difference between right and wrong. And, He has made sexual pleasure to be good…in the context of His moral boundaries set for it. Wayne shares about his 40 years living as a gay-identified man and both offer a response to “Same-sex attraction…Why me?”

Listen online or download the podcast.

Feelings Are Not The Real You with Wayne Blakely pt1 – Download MP3 –

All past episodes of His Way Out Ministries Radio Broadcast are available by following THIS LINK or selecting the “Audio Podcast” category to the right.

Today, the intolerance of anyone challenging the practice of homosexuality, in any form and to any degree, continues by attempts to revise historic Christian teaching. When anyone claims that homosexuality is God’s gift to the Church and to society, then true faithful followers of Christ Jesus must speak up and defend the clarity of the Holy Scriptures.

Those that have fully embraced the Bible in its entirety are a people bound by the Word of God; our conscience is constrained by it, and from this position, we cannot move. While we are not focusing on the sins of others and thereby ignoring our own, neither are we willing to sit silently when our culture calls a behavior, any behavior, acceptable to God and has the blessings of Christianity.

Ultimately, the issue with regard to homosexuality is a Gospel issue. Those who attempt to support homosexual practice from the Bible use approaches to the Bible that do not support the understandings historically held by the Christian church. Nowhere in the Bible will you find one positive statement about the practice of homosexuality. Every time it is mentioned, it is mentioned as a behavior (not unlike many others) in which no man or woman is to practice.

Therefore, as revisionist attacks will undoubtedly continue, true faithful followers of the teachings of Christ must continue to counter attempts to make homosexuality morally acceptable and on par with heterosexuality. Not to do so undermines the historic Christian teachings regarding sexual morality.

Tragically, much of the Church has become desensitized by the bombardment and constant flooding of homosexual imagery through homosexual-related messages, media, and people sharing their stories about ‘gay is good.’ It is an undeniable fact that homosexual imagery has influenced many into thinking that it is just another part of life.

We, the Church, are continuing to pay a very high price due to our reluctance, and sometimes fear, in not talking about and educating ourselves on the subject of homosexuality leaving the culture to teach our children and adults in terms of what to think and believe.

With far too many Christians having mostly ignored the extremely detailed and strategic pro-gay agenda and march, how is it we are surprised by the effectiveness of their propaganda and relentless campaign? For far too long, we, the Church have been in the defense-mode, bobbing and weaving just to fend off the impact of the gay rights movement.

The gay-Christian movement is picking up momentum due to the reinventing of Scripture. It goes something like this: “Revising the Scriptures on homosexuality is appropriate and correct because in light of new scientific evidence, we now understand that people are born that way. Therefore, homosexual behavior and relationships should be endorsed.”

Frankly, both condemning and endorsing homosexuality miss the mark. A huge and significant shift needs to take place. The question is, “Are we, the Church, willing to turn that high-powered perception upon ourselves and ask ourselves some very hard questions?”

  • Are we willing to take responsibility for harsh words or inappropriate actions and apologize for any wrongs we may have committed out of ignorance?
  • Are we willing to share the Scriptural truths about homosexuality such as: No one is born with same-sex attraction and change is possible?
  • Do we, the Church, truly see ourselves as God’s vehicle to reach wounded, broken, hurting humanity – which includes the sexually and relationally broken?
  • Are, we, the Church, truly willing to educate ourselves on the complexities of same-sex attraction thereby dismantling the many lies and replacing them with the Scriptural truths about homosexuality?

In other words, might we, the Church, become much more proactive in educating and equipping ourselves regarding true Christian ministry to those with unwanted same-sex attraction? In doing so, we would move from the defense mode of the past several decades to reverse the current tide through understanding and education. I would submit that the real enemy we face today is ignorance and fear.

According to Scripture, there can never be any justification for treating homosexuality as morally equivalent to heterosexuality. That said, we, the Church, are being asked to lower the bar on the clarity of Scripture with regard to homosexual practice which ultimately means faithful followers of Christ Jesus are being asked to set themselves in direct opposition to moral values clearly outlined in God’s Word.

Today, as the saying goes, “The ball is squarely in our court.” We, the Church, cannot and we must not underestimate ourselves. We, the Church, hold the only answer there is to the crisis of homosexuality. In other words, “Are we willing to be the change we wish to see in the world?”

If we, the Church, truly desire to see current trends change regarding homosexuality and the many related issues, our response requires a combination of compassion and understanding. Scripture is abundantly clear in that homosexual practice is only one of the many types of behavior condemned in the Bible. Therefore, to condemn homosexuality really is an expression of compassion because it seeks to warn, if not rescue those snared by the brokenness of same-sex attraction.

There is no doubt the battles will continue, as those who favor homosexuality appear unwilling to concede any ground, at times even defying sound, crystal clear biblical and theological standards and truths. Clearly, today, the Bible is being pushed aside as just another book on the shelf by many. However, the Bible continues to give us the way to eternal life with God and the true answers to victorious living here on earth. The Bible as God’s Book is and shall forever remain the textbook for life where one finds the truths, the ideals, and the inspirations to guide safely through life.

I still believe in and have every confidence in the Church’s ability, through Christ, to lovingly communicate to the sexually broken that God’s mercy and grace are sufficient for transformation.

May God help us on that day when we are asked to give an account of how we responded to the difficult issue of homosexuality so that we might hear Him, say, “Well done, good and faithful servant.” (Matthew 25:21)

Pastor Phillip Lee
Executive Director
His Way Out Ministries

His Way Out has been faithfully ministering to men and women seeking a way out of sexually broken lifestyles since 1994. We could not do it without the support of Christians like you. Every dollar that you give to His Way Out Ministries helps to further this vital ministry. Won’t you take a minute to prayerfully consider a monthly donation to His Way Out? Please consider making a one-time donation or set up a secure monthly PayPal contribution on our donation page at https://www.hiswayout.com/donate/. Thank you, Pastor Phillip Lee

Each Saturday morning beginning at 7:30am (PST) on KERI 1410AM, and live streamed at www.wilkinsradio.com, His Way Out Ministries offers a 30-minute broadcast dedicated to equipping, educating, and encouraging the Body of Christ to reach out and minister to individuals, families, and churches impacted by the brokenness of same-sex attraction.

Season 6, Episode 1
Special Guest: Ken Williams, Co-Founder of Equipped To Love, Co-Creative Director of Changed: Once Gay Stories, and author of his recently released new book titled The Journey Out – How I Followed Jesus Away From Gay.

HWOM Podcast with Ken Williams
– Download MP3 –

Ken Williams

All past episodes of His Way Out Ministries Radio Broadcast are available by following THIS LINK or selecting the “Audio Podcast” category below.

“I’m so troubled and confused. There are so many mixed messages being generated about homosexuality.”

The above quote reflects a statement I hear frequently from youth. The statement grieves me because it reflects the desperate crisis that we face with regard to youth struggling with and combating same-gender attraction. To compound the crisis, many of the youth are Christians, each having been raised in Church and reared in a Christian home. Once again, we find “the elephant” in the room that very, very few want to talk about.

Christian youth often find themselves caught in the middle. Do they hold to the instructions of Scripture, church, and parents or do they reject their faith convictions as outdated and accept a “new morality?”

When our path crosses with a struggling youth, we need to be open to partnering with the Lord to help turn the tide in his or her life. During adolescence, most people determine the morals and personal identity they will embrace for the remainder of their life. Likewise, much confusion and challenges will take place before any semblance of clarity comes. This is all the more true for youth deciding their sexual identity.

Studies have shown that vast numbers of youth entering adolescence are uncertain about their sexual orientation, but few exiting the teenage years remain ambiguous. Therefore, the teenage years are a crucial period for the Church of Jesus Christ to speak to youth tempted by homosexuality and educate each young person regarding the Truth of Scripture regarding the practice of homosexuality. Without a doubt, offering a right and true perspective will not only make a difference to a struggling youth, but it will also distinguish Christians quite a bit from others he or she will encounter.

While it is true that the number of teens embracing homosexuality is alarming, that should not minimize nor dismiss the incredible opportunity we have to reach out to youth with the message of salvation and sexual redemption through the Lord Jesus Christ.

Same-sex attraction is a symptom of a spiritual and relational problem. Therefore, simply stopping the behavior is not really getting to the root of what is making the person “feel different.” For the Christian trying to minister to a gay youth, consider asking these questions:

Does the young person experience a lot of rejection by others? Is the teen uncomfortable with his/her gender? Does he spurn others of the same sex, refusing to hang out with anyone other than a gay friend? Is the youth afraid of meeting new people, attending social gatherings, etc.? Is she overly critical or fearful of men? Is the teen envious of certain characteristics which others of the same-sex have that he does not?

As Christ-followers embracing the truth and totality of Scripture, don’t ever think we have to defend or apologize for what Scripture has clearly said about purity nor must we be enticed to debate or argue with the individual. Recognize it is not really a struggle between “us and them,” it is ultimately between them and the Word of God.

Today, a multitude struggling with various addictions, compulsive behaviors, and habits, are all asking the same question: How long will change take? For any individual, youth or adult, struggling with homosexuality, the good news is that homosexual activity may stop as soon as the decision is made to no longer participate. The underlying issues that fuel same-gender attraction take time to work through. Herein lies, I believe, why so many youths have become influenced and bought into the notion that even homosexual feelings and desires cannot be resolved.

It is imperative that we inspire faith in those to whom we desire to reach. In my experience, the ones I have known who have successfully left homosexuality are those who have relinquished control of their lives to the Holy Spirit. Clearly, there is a level of surrender required to resolve any form of sexual and relational brokenness, including homosexuality, that many are unwilling to offer. Only God can bring about the changes the youth desires.

While I have met and continue to meet with youth who are determined to resolve the issues of their sexuality, most feel too inadequate, lack motivation, and do not have an individual structured in their life to help them through the process of healing and wholeness. Any Christian can emphasize to the hurting there is a hidden need within the heart of everyone that an intimate relationship with God can fill. Reaching gay youth is something we all can do and must do to help searching youth understand God’s abundant plans for their lives and to counteract the pro-gay agenda that desires to ruin all hope for the youth. No one is doomed to be gay, and we may be the only person that will have the courage to share the Good News with a youth struggling with same-gender attraction.

Practically speaking…

  • Keep the consequence of sin in context. We have all fallen short of the glory of God.
  • Accepting and loving a teenager without conditions has noting to do with condoning their behavior/lifestyle.
  • Offer to serve as an accountability and prayer partner.
  • Clearly distinguish the difference between temptation and sin.
  • Don’t overreact – be prepared for the ‘born gay’ argument.
  • You are not expected to have all the answers.
  • Never, ever water down the Word of God.
  • Be patient and trust God completely.
  • Emphasize the key to overcoming homosexuality is in Christ Jesus.

Finally, please consider that a youth or an adult for that matter, just might learn a thing or two from you but you may also learn a thing or three from them.

Pastor Phillip Lee
Executive Director
His Way Out Ministries

His Way Out has been faithfully ministering to men and women seeking a way out of sexually broken lifestyles since 1994. We could not do it without the support of Christians like you. Every dollar that you give to His Way Out Ministries helps to further this vital ministry. Won’t you take a minute to prayerfully consider a monthly donation to His Way Out? Please consider making a one-time donation or set up a secure monthly PayPal contribution on our donation page at https://www.hiswayout.com/donate/. Thank you, Pastor Phillip Lee

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