The alleged Utopia of ‘gay’ has been, is now and shall remain an illusion, a contradiction and a false concept when viewed through the lens of reality. I and many other men and women had to learn this truth the hard way.

Honesty requires I acknowledge that change from homosexuality is by no means easy. For most it is a long and difficult process, requiring a deep commitment and strong motivation, coupled by wise counsel and support. But the very same things can be said of many and various other behavioral problems, from alcoholism to physical abuse to drug addiction.

From time to time, I have been conversing with a Christian on the subject of homosexuality to have them make this statement, “This whole ‘gay thing’ is a lost cause.” I have a response to this tragic statement with no delicate way in which to clothe my response. For any faithful follower of Christ Jesus to say the present crisis of homosexuality is a lost cause is the same as saying “the devil is more powerful than God.”

Homosexual orientation is just one of the many manifestations of man’s fallen nature which in theological terms is known as “sin.” With same-sex attraction being no respecter of persons, it is out of this Scriptural truth and fact that the apostle Paul declared, “all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God,” (Romans 3:23) and also defines the various forms such sin can take:

“Do you not know that the wicked will not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived: Neither the sexually immoral nor idolaters nor adulterers nor male prostitutes nor homosexual offenders nor thieves nor the greedy nor drunkards nor slanderers nor swindlers will inherit the kingdom of God” (1 Corinthians 6:9-10).

Homosexuality is, clearly, only one of the various types of behavior that are condemned in the Bible, and it is condemned for the same reason as the rest – it is an affront to the character of God. It is critically important to emphasize that the condemnation of homosexual practice is to warn and ultimately rescue those caught by the snare of same-sex attraction.

Many men and women know what it means to be rescued from the brokenness of same-sex attraction and not evidenced solely by their powerful testimony but by this important Scriptural truth:

“And this is what some of you used to be. But you were washed, you were sanctified, you were justified in the name of the Lord Jesus Christ and in the Spirit of our God” (1 Corinthians 6:11).

Personally, I find it nothing short of remarkable that some today struggle at believing and embracing the ultimate redemptive purposes of God are the same today as they have always been:

“Indeed, God did not send the Son into the world to condemn the world, but in order that the world might be saved through Him. Those who believe in Him are not condemned; but those who do not believe are condemned already, because they have not believed in the name of the only Son of God” (John 3:17-19).

Jesus and the writers of Scripture did not hesitate to condemn sin and immorality in whatever form they found it. They did so to liberate men and women from the grip of spiritual and behavioral bondage. Therefore, I submit our ultimate goal as Ambassadors for Christ is not merely to show that the biblical judgment against homosexuality is certainly well-founded but rather to avail ourselves as instruments of both truth and grace that God may accomplish His redemptive purposes.

I believe the traditional Christian position should be to understand and accept (accept does not mean to approve) the homosexuals’ orientation as a condition but also see homosexual orientation as a temporary, not a permanent, condition. To condemn the homosexual for his or her orientation is unchristian.

Every faithful follower of Christ Jesus should be appalled when we see Christians respond to homosexuals with hate and loathing. That said, the acting out of same-sex attraction is sinful, just as it is wrong for heterosexuals to engage in sexual activity outside of marriage.

It is God’s love and the truth of Scripture that seeks to separate sinners from sin. When Scripture speaks a clear word on any given topic, it speaks the final word. I pray we all would stop trying to explain why God has spoken in the way He has; the essential issue is what He has spoken.

As Christians, meaning we accept the Bible in its entirety or not at all, are we still convinced that there is ample evidence, which is available to anyone with openness to the facts, there is an option to our sinful nature and the consequences that flow from it?

God’s love and His truth still seek nothing higher than the welfare of all people – all people.

Pastor Phillip Lee
Executive Director
His Way Out Ministries

His Way Out has been faithfully ministering to men and women seeking a way out of sexually broken lifestyles since 1994. We could not do it without the support of Christians like you. Every dollar that you give to His Way Out Ministries helps to further this vital ministry. Won’t you take a minute to prayerfully consider a monthly donation to His Way Out? Please consider making a one-time donation or set up a secure monthly PayPal contribution on our donation page at https://www.hiswayout.com/donate/. Thank you, Pastor Phillip Lee

Respectfully, truth, God’s truth does not change just because you did.

• You told me I needed to surrender my life to Christ Jesus and be born-again. I surrendered.

• You told me I needed to forsake and repent of homosexual practice. I repented. I turned away.

• You told me my mind needed renewing and I needed a life transformation. I willing died to self.

• You told me I needed to forsake the gay community and embrace the Church as my new family. I did so by faith.

• You regularly encouraged me to share my testimony. I gladly did so to honor Christ Jesus.

• You continue to remind me the Church is God’s vehicle to reach the wounded, broken and hurting. I agree.

• You told me the Bible is the textbook for life in all matters of faith and practice. I embraced this truth.

• You reminded me over and over again “Jesus remains the same yesterday, today and forever.” (Hebrews 13:8) Indeed and Amen.

But now, some of you are saying, per your new stance that your understanding of homosexuality has “evolved” – “Well, maybe homosexuality isn’t so bad after all.”

Many Sunday morning church pulpits have lapsed fully into the silent mode with regard to homosexuality which has and is perpetuating a tsunami of immorality.

The gay community is extremely vocal and highly visible demanding their right to be who they want to be, but I am now being told daily I cannot have, and I must now have the same right.

I am trying very, very hard to understand. Would you help me, please?

Much too often, I turn around wondering, “Where did everybody go?”

Having once faced and addressed the impact of rejection and abandonment in my life, must I face it again?

Should we compare where we stand now regarding homosexuality and related issues to the time when things got very, very tough and Jesus said to His disciples, “Will you also turn away?” (John 6:67)
You told me and reminded me frequently…

“The Church must call homosexual practice sin and while that will be offensive too many, the Word of God must not and cannot be watered down.”

In many respects, I attribute my new life in Christ Jesus of 39 years to Christians sharing and holding me to The Truth.

• You told me I was not born gay. I embraced this truth.

• You told me change is possible. I changed.

• You told me our true identity is in Christ Jesus – not our sexuality. True.

• You told me not to allow my past to dictate who I am in Christ today. Agreed.

• You told me homosexuals are redeemable with God’s grace and power more than sufficient to transform a life. Amen.

• You told me sharing the Gospel is not an option for a Christian but rather obedience to a command. Absolutely.

• You told me the only way out of homosexuality was through a deep, personal, intimate relationship with Christ Jesus.

Has any of the above mentioned changed?

If, yes, to any of the above mentioned, “Jesus I know, and Paul I know, but who are you?” (Acts 19:15)
Truth lived out Christ’s way, does not have any gray edges. It is abundantly clear and straight forward.

In Christ,

Phillip, just one of the many prodigals.

“And we, who with unveiled faces all reflect the Lord’s glory, are being transformed into His likeness with ever-increasing glory, which comes from the Lord, who is the Spirit.” (2 Corinthians 3:18)

When you and I became a Christian, we began a transformation process not just of what we disapprove, but also of how we disapprove.

The disapproval of any particular behavior including same-sex practice(s) does not particularly identify one as Christian.

Being a Christian is far more profound than changing and voicing what we disapprove of.

The Apostle Paul said, “I am debtor both to the Greeks, and to the barbarians” (Romans 1:14).

There is no doubt Paul understood and lived his life as a debtor to “everyone” on the face of the earth because of the Gospel of Jesus.

Do we, as Ambassadors for Christ, realize that same debtedness to every unsaved soul which includes the vast, enormous and virtually untouched mission field called “the gay community?”

Yes, the Bible is clear that homosexual practice is against God’s pattern for humankind, which should be all the more reason to be the bearer of good tidings to those with unwanted same-gender attraction and not just announce that a certain lifestyle is sinful.

Look beyond the “gay” or “lesbian” label to the whole person inside and share the transforming power of God’s love and forgiveness without compromising the truth.

Be purposed in joining the remnant by offering the message that many are trying to silence today…

There is freedom from homosexuality through the unconditional love and grace of Jesus Christ.

Pastor Phillip Lee
Executive Director
His Way Out Ministries

His Way Out has been faithfully ministering to men and women seeking a way out of sexually broken lifestyles since 1994. We could not do it without the support of Christians like you. Every dollar that you give to His Way Out Ministries helps to further this vital ministry. Won’t you take a minute to prayerfully consider a monthly donation to His Way Out? Please consider making a one-time donation or set up a secure monthly PayPal contribution on our donation page at https://www.hiswayout.com/donate/. Thank you, Pastor Phillip Lee

With at least 1,000 men expected in attendance per session, I am greatly looking forward to speaking and teaching at the “Stand for Righteousness” Men’s Ministry Conference in Trinidad and Tobago, June 14-17, 2024.

“I beseech you therefore, brethren, by the mercies of God, that you present your bodies a living sacrifice, holy, acceptable to God, which is your reasonable service.” (Romans 12:1)

Of all the challenges that we face as the Church in today’s society, sexuality is undoubtedly one of the greatest. If as Christ-followers, being fully and unconditionally committed to the entire Word of God and valuing our call to be the salt and light of society, then we must come to terms with the rapidly changing sexual scene around us. Make no mistake – the scene is an alarming one.

During my 2-Hour Educational Workshop titled “Demystifying Homosexuality: Defending Biblical Sexual Morality” the evening of June 17, 2024, we will turn our attention to: Understanding Homosexuality, The Myths of Homosexuality, Reaching Gay Youth, Counterfeit Sexuality and Homosexuality and the Church.

“But you are a chosen people, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, a people belonging to God, that you may declare the praises of Him who called you out of darkness into His marvelous light.” (1 Peter 2:9)

Walking in faith isn’t about fighting culture wars but witnessing Jesus’ restorative grace to those who haven’t yet found it.

Eternal lives matter.

Gay Pride Month dedicated to the celebration and commemoration of lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender and other sexualities held in June every year is fast approaching.

It seeks to honor LGBTQ history and the challenges the community faces, past and present and is now celebrated by many individuals and churches that affirm and cheer on LGBTQ Pride.

But what if the LGBTQ life hasn’t been or is now a season of pride or the party for some of our neighbors, loved ones, or ourselves – that the world says it is?

Personally speaking, it is not (pride) I remember and experienced that in some respects continues to haunt me even today.

There are some life realities gay pride could not even begin to heal. Completely and totally by God’s grace, I have survived homosexuality.

While those words correctly define my personal reality regarding homosexual practice, my friends did not survive.

If you are experiencing same-sex attraction and are considering embracing the feelings and attractions of such, before jumping into a behavior and identity with highly probable and serious consequences, please get the facts – all the facts.

Sexual pleasure, good in and of itself within the proper context, is nevertheless not an essential requirement for human well-being.

Today, there is no guarantee that social policy is exempt from foolishness. Ultimately, the social pressure that exists to protect “gay” from discrimination has resulted in a tragically dangerous code.

While I personally deplore any and all forms of “gay-bashing” and other hate crimes against homosexuals, the extreme medical risks and the fundamental psychological problems often associated with homosexual practice, cannot be undermined or dismissed.

Today, in America, very little is being offered which promotes the truth about homosexuality and the general public has and is slowly but certainly beginning to believe the many untruths with regard to the topic of homosexuality. This did not happen by accident.

In December 1973, by a narrow vote, homosexuality was removed from the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorder (DSM) by the American Psychiatric Association. The vote was not based on scientific research but on political pressure from homosexual activists. So much for an individual’s right of self-determination to address their unwanted homosexual feelings and behavior. In a nutshell, the problem is the politicization of psychiatry, psychology, and most definitely, the Bible, to the extent that the freedom to investigate and treat homosexuality has been and continues to be under serious attack.

For some of us, World AIDS Day is not just on December 1st of each year, but rather each and every day of the year.

The phone conversation occurred in 1995. Frank, my very best and only surviving friend of a group of 22 men, called from the hospital in San Francisco. Immediately, I knew something was very wrong.

In 1985, I moved from San Francisco back to Bakersfield, when in October of that year I surrendered my life to Christ and everything got turned upside-down – actually, right-side up.

There was nothing short of a miraculous desire to get to church and remain in church. The only thing I wanted to read was the Bible, attend classes and always be among Christian men and women, worship, and talk, talk, talk, talk, about Jesus.

Occasionally, I would talk to Frank on the phone to check on how life was going. However, our conversations became more and more strained because all I wanted to talk about was the Bible and what was going on at church. Frank, on the other hand, wanted to talk about the party last night and all that went on.

Drifting apart we most definitely were but continued to maintain a long-distance connection if only to hear one another’s voice for a few seconds. We had been close good friends for many years in San Francisco.

One afternoon I received a phone call at work from Frank. His voice was extremely weak, but he still managed to say…

“Phillip, we don’t understand what has happened to you, but you have found something, and whatever it is, keep it up. Keep it up because you have found something. Do it for me and the others. Whatever you do don’t ever come back to this. Promise me, Phillip.”

“I promise, Frank.”

Two days after my last phone conversation with Frank, his mother called to tell me he had passed away.

So, so many are gone, and they left much too soon. I miss each of my friends. I miss them terribly.

Nearly Thirty-nine years ago I made a promise. A promise I have kept, and I intend to keep.

During my 17 years as ‘gay,’ I personally witnessed far too many lives devastated and some taking their own lives over the celebration of ‘gay.’ In each and every case the ruin and carnage were not brought about by the individual trying to resolve their same-gender attraction.

Personally speaking, it is a fact because of very real discrimination, homosexual activists created a brilliant strategic plan to gain across-the-board acceptance. Yet their plan was and is based upon a flawed paradigm to persuade people they were born with same-gender attraction and they cannot change. This strategy has worked. But the biggest losers just may be homosexual men and women who may get everything they think they want, but will they be denied what they truly need?

The welfare of both individuals and society as a whole depends upon our facing reality honestly, compassionately, and courageously – which requires facts – all the facts.

Pastor Phillip Lee
Executive Director
His Way Out Ministries

His Way Out has been faithfully ministering to men and women seeking a way out of sexually broken lifestyles since 1994. We could not do it without the support of Christians like you. Every dollar that you give to His Way Out Ministries helps to further this vital ministry. Won’t you take a minute to prayerfully consider a monthly donation to His Way Out? Please consider making a one-time donation or set up a secure monthly PayPal contribution on our donation page at https://www.hiswayout.com/donate/. Thank you, Pastor Phillip Lee

People change slowly, so give yourself time to change. No one attains a stable Christian life in a week or a month, so don’t throw in the towel and give up after six months, thinking that God has forsaken you, and that it is useless to keep on trying. Be patient, and you will eventually see God’s character developing in your life.

Begin by thinking of yourself Biblically because for the majority of us our concept of ourselves seldom comes from the Bible. Mostly, we pick up our idea of self-worth from people around us, and this image is usually false.

Learn to think of yourself according to the description God outlines in His Word.

For far too many, sexual feelings and desires have been viewed as an unfortunate part of their being that keeps them defeated in their Christian walk. Given we are all born into a fallen world and we all struggle with a sinful nature, our sexual longings and desires have become distorted. However, they remain a wonderful part of who we are as human beings.

So, how do we as Christian men and women control our sexual behavior? Especially, since we all bare the marks of the fallen age in which we live to some degree or another. Is it really possible to bring every thought captive (2 Corinthians 10:5)? Is it really possible to stop impure thoughts? How do we find purity in our sexual desires when we have indulged in pornography, sex before marriage, homosexuality, or adultery?

All Christians have to deal with inappropriate sexual feelings and attractions. Those combating same-gender attraction (homosexuality) are not unique and as a result do not belong in a different subclass than the rest of Christians struggling with the long list of heterosexual sexual addictions. Sexual struggles are a very real part of being human! Thankfully, “We do not have a high priest (Jesus) who is unable to sympathize with our weaknesses, but we have One who has been tempted in every way just as we are – yet without sin.” (Hebrews 4:15)

Each and every time we are tempted, the process always begins with some type of outside stimulation, which we ultimately choose to embrace or reject. If we embrace “the thought,” and begin to build upon it, to fantasize, the end result is indulgence. While I am convinced that none of us will ever be able to completely avoid being stimulated, we need not progress to the point of practice. Maybe, just maybe, if we all would embrace the truth that being stimulated is completely and totally unavoidable, our lives would not remain in a constant state of frustration, and the huge amounts of condemnation and disgust that we place upon ourselves would be extremely minimized or even possibly eradicated enabling each of us to climb out from underneath the “shame factor.”

James 1:14-15 tells us, “But each one is tempted when, by his own evil desire, he is dragged away and enticed. Then, after desire has conceived, it gives birth to sin.” Clearly, a homosexual thought (desire) or an inappropriate heterosexual, lustful contemplation that occurs in our mind can either be embraced or killed. We choose whether or not any inappropriate thought regarding sexual lust or temptation will be allowed to progress passed lust to sin.

I remain convinced that being successful in overcoming homosexuality or any heterosexual sexual addiction, largely depends on what happens in our mind. Our thought life is the battlefield where victory is either won or lost. Clearly, to break with any mindset or actions of inappropriate sexual expression, requires changing our thinking. Unless our thought patterns change, we will be continually defeated and discouraged in the process of recovery or becoming whole in our sexuality.

A huge component in dealing with sexual brokenness, homosexual and heterosexual, is coming to terms with our past. Philippians 3:13-14 tells us, “Forgetting those things which are behind, and reaching forth unto those things which are before, I press toward the mark for the high calling of God in Christ Jesus.” The lies of our past must be replaced with the truth of God’s Word. It is through God’s Word we discover the reality of God’s love for us as individuals and His desire to forgive us for all sin – including all forms of sexual and relational brokenness. When acted upon, the Bible’s perspective on human sexuality will profoundly change the way we see our past and certainly help us navigate the future.

Ultimately, we must embrace that it is God’s Word and not our feelings that determines truth. Yes, God loves each and every one of us that struggles with aspects of human sexuality. “But God demonstrates His own love for us in this: While we still were sinners, Christ died for us.” (Romans 5:8) When we repent – meaning we have rejected the behavior – Jesus cleanses us from all homosexual sin, lustful heterosexual thoughts and sexual encounters.

Zig Ziglar once said, “We are where we are and what we are because of what has gone into our minds. We change where we are and what we are by changing what goes into our minds.”

Unfortunately, one of the chief obstacles to healing, wholeness and restoration from sexual sin is the obsession with the immediate. The “itch” for the instantaneous pervades much of Christian thinking. Many tend to think that unless a restoration or deliverance is immediate, it is not of God. Most definitely, we have become impatient and frustrated with things that take time. Isn’t it amazing how people will go to huge amounts of trouble to learn French, or physics or scuba diving? They have the patience to learn how to operate a car but they won’t be bothered learning how to operate themselves. It has been said, “He that would get weeds destroyed must plan the ground with contrary seeds.” Indeed, we cannot walk in God’s ways unless He teaches us, but it is deception to ask Him to teach us unless we resolve to obey Him as He instructs us.

Many, many times I have communicated that every follower of Christ Jesus is in process of becoming more like our Redeemer. Recently, it occurred to me that maybe, just maybe God is more interested in the process than the end result. If I can remain determined, calm, and trusting God the Father in the very midst of so many questions and unresolved matters, couldn’t the process be just as honoring and glorifying to God as the end result?

Pastor Phillip Lee
Executive Director
His Way Out Ministries

His Way Out has been faithfully ministering to men and women seeking a way out of sexually broken lifestyles since 1994. We could not do it without the support of Christians like you. Every dollar that you give to His Way Out Ministries helps to further this vital ministry. Won’t you take a minute to prayerfully consider a monthly donation to His Way Out? Please consider making a one-time donation or set up a secure monthly PayPal contribution on our donation page at https://www.hiswayout.com/donate/. Thank you, Pastor Phillip Lee

“I am a gay Christian” (Error is never made true by its popularity).

Try and try as I have to get my head, heart, and spirit fully around the above statement, I cannot.

I cannot because it does not make sense.

If, within the statement, one is saying, “I am a Christian that struggles with the temptation of same-sex attraction.” This makes sense and I understand. However, for a faithful follower of Christ Jesus to pronounce identity by first using ‘gay’ (based on one’s sexual orientation) then follow-up with ‘Christian’ – clearly, what is happening is a lack of conviction, practice, and concern of how one is being shaped and led by a wrong and deceiving spirit.

If I were an individual self-identifying as a ‘gay Christian,’ I would at some point in all honesty and truth need to truly face myself and ask…”Which am I more? Am I more gay than a Christian?”

One of the earmarks of liberal Christianity regarding homosexuality, is the rejection of the infallibility of God’s Word and the quest, if not determination, to find Scriptural acceptance (a canon) within the canon (Scripture) to validate, accept, and endorse homosexual practice. Hence, enter pro-gay theology.

In all fairness, my considerable concern for many men and women today struggling, combating the unwanted brokenness of same-sex attraction is…How are they to follow the Holy Spirit when much of what God has to say regarding homosexual practice is being dismissed, disregarded and withheld? How are they to hear His voice when His words are being silenced?

Is it possible far too much of the Church is now relying on (feelings) which are very, very often completely disconnected from what the Bible says?

I have shared before that it was Christians who held me to the truth and authority of Scripture throughout my discipleship. Admittedly, it was not always an easy road to travel. However, I understood they were holding me accountable because they truly had my best interest at heart. Thank God they never once lowered the bar on the truth of Scripture.

A very frightening reality hit me this morning. If God’s truth had been withheld from me, what would I have been left with?

My walk, your walk with God is not about personal sensibilities. The gay Christian identity does not exist in the Kingdom of God. There is a much, much better way.

It isn’t new. It isn’t even really profound. It is the willingness and posture to let Scripture have its unhindered way. Most assuredly, humility (how we approach and receive the truth of God’s Word), is the ingredient necessary for transformation enabling you and I to give way to God’s Word, even when it is unpopular.

Believers in Christ Jesus who experience and war against same-sex attraction do exist, but Scripture never has nor will Scripture ever call an individual to identify by or with a sinful sexual tendency.

“O God, make me know your ways. Teach me your paths. Lead me in your truth and teach me, for you are the God of my salvation, and for you I wait all the day long.” (Psalm 25:4-5)

Pastor Phillip Lee
Executive Director
His Way Out Ministries

His Way Out has been faithfully ministering to men and women seeking a way out of sexually broken lifestyles since 1994. We could not do it without the support of Christians like you. Every dollar that you give to His Way Out Ministries helps to further this vital ministry. Won’t you take a minute to prayerfully consider a monthly donation to His Way Out? Please consider making a one-time donation or set up a secure monthly PayPal contribution on our donation page at https://www.hiswayout.com/donate/. Thank you, Pastor Phillip Lee

LGBT+ concerns and the church have become muddied over the years. We seem afraid to lift up Jesus, His love and how it changes ANY of our lives. Laying down our will is difficult regardless of the sin pattern.

The same Christian ‘disciplines’ that have helped a multitude will also help those struggling with same-sex attraction. Maybe it’s time to return to the basics?

Saying Good-Bye to Gay

“If you would be My disciple, give up your right to yourself to Me.” (Matthew 16:24)

Today, it seems that some believe we in ex-gay ministry (for lack of better expression) are out-and-about trying to catch people to de-program them from homosexual behavior.

We need to be very clear when people are asking for help. It is imperative we all remember homosexuals are people like you and me – people God loves. How will they come to know God’s love if we, as His family, do not reach out to them? How can we, the Church, truly say we are fulfilling The Great Commission If are not offering and providing ministry to those with unwanted same-sex attraction?

If we truly believe God has the power to change anything, we cannot withhold offering truth, hope, and healing through Christ Jesus. Personally, I believe the extension of His love comes about by and through discipleship.

Christian discipleship is exactly the same for the homosexual struggler as it is for any man or woman combating the very long list of habits, addictions or various behaviors that impact lives.

Christian discipleship is the process by which men and women (disciples) grow in the Lord Jesus Christ and are equipped by the Holy Spirit (who resides in our hearts), to overcome the pressures, trials, and temptations that manifest in our lives and become more and more Christ-like.

But how does that play out in the practical sense?

1. Jesus must be put first in all matters of life. (Mark 8:34-38) The homosexual struggler must take a purposed and deliberate step to be set apart from the world. The individual’s focus must be on the Lord Jesus and pleasing Him in every area of life. In other words, put off self-centeredness and put on Christ-centeredness.

2. Follow all the teachings of Jesus. (John 8:31-32) Our obedience to the Father must be like that of a child which enables our being doers of the Word. Obedience is the supreme test of faith in God. (1 Samuel 28:18)

3. Expect change. (John 15:5-8) As a disciple (even those that combat same-gender attraction), our job is to abide in Christ, and “if” we do, the Holy Spirit will produce change, with change being the result of our obedience. As we become more obedient to the Lord and purposed to walk in all of His ways, our lives change. The biggest change will take place in our hearts resulting in new conduct (thoughts, words, and actions), all being representative of “change.” Ultimately, the change we all seek in our lives occurs from the inside out, through the power of the Holy Spirit.

4. In love for other believers (disciples). (John 13:34-35) Clearly, from 1 John 3:10 and 1 Corinthians 13:1-13, we see that love is not just an emotion; it is an action. We must be doing something and involved in the process of discipleship. The attitude for the homosexual struggler as well as those desiring to help or minister to those combating same-gender attraction must be fueled by the motivation of ‘love.’ When it comes to the complexities of life (including homosexuality and related issues), our ‘attitude’ should be the same as that of Christ Jesus.

5. Making disciples of others. (Matthew 28:18-20) Too often, the homosexual struggler and those that have left homosexuality are reluctant to share their faith and tell nonbelievers about the wonderful changes Jesus has made in their lives. No matter what our maturity level in Christian life, we have something to offer. Frankly, some of the most enthusiastic representatives of the Christian life are new believers who have just discovered the awesome love of God. While they may not know what they’re saying goodbye to “gay” fully means, they have experienced the love of God and want to share their newfound lives and identify in Christ with others.

Admittedly, deliverance from homosexuality or any habit, addiction or compulsive behavior, for that matter, comes from a Person and not a method. That said, I am concerned we have gotten far away from the command and calling of our Lord to “disciple” – especially, to the homosexual struggler. Heaven knows Christians throughout the ages have had sinful habits to overcome and misbeliefs to replace with truth.

I submit that the same Christian ‘disciplines’ that have helped a multitude will also help those struggling with same-gender attraction.

The greatest crisis in our lives just may be the surrendering of our will.

Pastor Phillip Lee
Executive Director
His Way Out Ministries

His Way Out has been faithfully ministering to men and women seeking a way out of sexually broken lifestyles since 1994. We could not do it without the support of Christians like you. Every dollar that you give to His Way Out Ministries helps to further this vital ministry. Won’t you take a minute to prayerfully consider a monthly donation to His Way Out? Please consider making a one-time donation or set up a secure monthly PayPal contribution on our donation page at https://www.hiswayout.com/donate/. Thank you, Pastor Phillip Lee

In order to effectively communicate God’s love to the same-sex attracted, one of the most important prerequisites for anyone – church or individual – is to be clear on your motivation and your message. Why do you want to reach gays? Do you truly love them as Christ loves them? And what exactly is your message?

If you think the primary Christian message for homosexuals is to “love the sinner, but hate the sin,” I encourage you to read on.

Here’s the setting…

You are sitting in church, listening to your pastor.

You are following along and taking notes on the very relevant topic of same-sex attraction because what is being shared is not only relevant to our culture but to you personally.

Sitting in church surrounded by fellow believers you are pretty comfortable and content.

But now, you have the task if not the monumental challenge of facing the son or daughter that sees nothing wrong with homosexual practice and is involved in a same-sex relationship.

You are now the one that gets to flesh out the truth you now know. How is that done? What do you do? What don’t you do?

What does representing Christ Jesus in this matter look like?

First and foremost, let’s put even this crisis in its proper context.

Embrace the promise of Romans 8:28 that God makes everything – even calamities – work for our good.

• My first encouragement is learn as much as you can about the causes of homosexuality. Simply knowing it is wrong is not even close to being enough.

• Don’t run the matter into the ground every time you see your son or daughter. Often, there can be a good reason(s) for not dealing with a problem right now.

• Do everything you can to keep the lines of communication open and maintain your relationship. If you feel you have been batting your head against the wall seeking resolution of ‘the problem,’ take a rest. It may not be God’s time to deal with the issue.

• Make sure your son or daughter is aware of your belief and position regarding homosexual practice. Heaven knows, God can deal with and use our mistakes, but He cannot deal with our inaction. Be clear and precise.

• Do not argue about homosexuality. The very moment the conversation erupts into anger – drop it! Badgering will only produce pushing the individual the wrong direction. Many problems and issues in life are often solved very indirectly; not when we are consciously dealing with them, but when we are going about our normal lives.

• It is imperative to distinguish between “acceptance and approval.” It is important to separate, both in our own minds and to our loved ones, their individual worth from the acts of homosexuality they may be committing.

• Stay completely away from Christian cliches such as: “God created Adam and Eve not Adam and Steve” and “Love the sinner but hate the sin.” Christian cliches only reinforce the belief of many with same-sex attraction that the Christian community is unwilling to truly educate themselves on the complexities of same-sex attraction.

• Do not hesitate to admit when and where the Church has been wrong with regard to men and women with same-sex attraction. We, the Church, have made mistakes and in some cases owe the gay community an apology.

• Refrain from attacking the character of homosexuals when discussing homosexuality. Keep to the real issue: “The real issue is whether or not homosexual practice is, in and of itself, moral.”

• Do not be discouraged if your conversations do not produce instant fruit. What we will answer to God for is speaking truth lovingly and plainly – not for how our loved one responds.

• Be relentless in looking for every opportunity to share it is a personal relationship with Jesus Christ and the indwelling presence of His Spirit which is the foundation needed to overcome same-sex attraction.

• Release control. Let God decide how to bring freedom. God is the only One who can bring about change in the homosexual.

• Let the son, daughter and everyone know that God has a reputation of transforming trapped people with damaged sexualities. “And such were some of you,” applies to all Christians who had formerly participated in homosexuality. (1 Corinthians 6:9-11)

• And remember, those entangled in sin, of course, will have weak faith, so be merciful to those who doubt. (Jude 22)

Somewhere I read, “Hope is not the conviction that something will turn out well, but the certainty that something makes sense, regardless of how it turns out.”

When Jesus Christ is “there,” life has infinite possibilities.

In reaching to and or ministering to those whose lifestyle we do not fully understand, we must always remember to offer them the same grace, understanding, and love that Christ offered us.

Pastor Phillip Lee
Executive Director
His Way Out Ministries

His Way Out has been faithfully ministering to men and women seeking a way out of sexually broken lifestyles since 1994. We could not do it without the support of Christians like you. Every dollar that you give to His Way Out Ministries helps to further this vital ministry. Won’t you take a minute to prayerfully consider a monthly donation to His Way Out? Please consider making a one-time donation or set up a secure monthly PayPal contribution on our donation page at https://www.hiswayout.com/donate/. Thank you, Pastor Phillip Lee