Whether you know it or not, in the mind of your gay identified loved one you become on trial at that traumatic moment of the announcement, “I’m gay.”

His or her obsession to be loved makes the unreasoning demand, “If you really love me, you will love me anyway.”

And to a point, I agree.

Please prayerfully consider, your constant prayer for his/her deliverance is far more likely to be answered in your home rather than in a gay affirming environment.

The Holidays: When Families Face Homosexuality

If you’re a believer who’s been touched by this issue – and these days, who isn’t? I hope you find the content of this article(s) helpful to understand the heart of God to the same-sex attracted and how to share that love.

First and foremost, let’s put even this crisis in its proper context. Embrace the promise of Romans 8:28 that God makes everything – even calamities – work for our good. Admittedly, it is often very excruciating to wait for the ‘good’ to work. I mean, when it seems that everything is literally coming apart at the seams, it’s hard to consider if anything good will really come out of misery.

• My first encouragement is to learn as much as you can about the causes of homosexuality. Simply knowing it is wrong is not even close to being enough.

• Don’t run the matter into the ground every time you see your son or daughter. Often, there can be a good reason(s) for not dealing with a problem right now.

• Do everything you can to keep the lines of communication open and maintain your relationship. If you feel you have been batting your head against the wall seeking resolution of ‘the problem,’ take a rest. It may not be God’s time to deal with the issue.

• Make sure your son or daughter is aware of your belief and position regarding homosexual practice. Heaven knows, God can deal with and use our mistakes but He cannot deal with our inaction. Be clear and precise.

• Do not argue about homosexuality. The very moment the conversation erupts into anger – drop it! Badgering will only produce pushing the individual in the wrong direction. Many problems and issues in life are often solved very indirectly; not when we are consciously dealing with them, but when we are going about our normal lives.

• It is imperative to distinguish between “acceptance and approval.” It is important to separate, both in our own minds and to our loved ones, their individual worth from the acts of homosexuality they may be committing.

• Stay completely away from Christian cliches such as: “God created Adam and Eve, not Adam and Steve,” and “Love the sinner but hate the sin.” Christian cliches only reinforce the belief of many with same-sex attraction that the Christian community is unwilling to truly educate themselves on the complexities of same-sex attraction.

• Do not hesitate to admit when and where the Church has been wrong with regard to men and women with same-sex attraction. We, the Church, have made mistakes and in some cases owe the gay community an apology.

• Refrain from attacking the character of homosexuals when discussing homosexuality. Keep to the real issue: “The real issue is whether or not homosexual practice is, in and of itself, moral.”

• Do not be discouraged if your conversations do not produce instant fruit. What we will answer to God for is speaking truth lovingly and plainly – not for how our loved one responds.

• Be relentless in looking for every opportunity to share it is a personal relationship with Jesus Christ and the indwelling presence of His Spirit which is the foundation needed to overcome same-sex attraction.

• Release control. Let God decide how to bring freedom. God is the only One who can bring about change in the homosexual.

• Let the son, daughter, and everyone know that God has a reputation for transforming trapped people with damaged sexualities. “And such were some of you” applies to all Christians who had formerly participated in homosexuality. (1 Corinthians 6:9-11)

• And, remember, those entangled in sin, of course, will have weak faith, so be merciful to those who doubt. (Jude 22)

Somewhere I read, “Hope is not the conviction that something will turn out well, but the certainty that something makes sense, regardless of how it turns out.” When Jesus Christ is “there,” life has infinite possibilities.

Check out “Home For The Holidays” for a few Do’s and Don’ts.

Pastor Phillip Lee
Executive Director
His Way Out Ministries

Please consider making a donation at www.hiswayout.com/donate. Thank you, Pastor Phillip Lee

It is time, actually long overdue, for Christians to lead the majority of pro-moral Americans in reestablishing the values that earned for us the blessings of God on our country.

Respectfully, truth, God’s absolute truth has not changed and will never change just because you did due to a so-called “evolved and enlightened understanding” of homosexuality.

40 years ago…

• You told me I needed to surrender my life to Christ Jesus and be born-again. I surrendered.
• You told me I needed to forsake and repent of homosexual practice. I repented. I turned away.
• You told me my mind needed renewing, and I needed a life transformation. I willing died to self.
• You told me I needed to forsake the gay community and embrace the Church as my new family. I did so by faith.
• You regularly encouraged me to share my testimony. I gladly did so to honor Christ Jesus.
• You continue to remind me the Church is God’s vehicle to reach the wounded, broken and hurting. I agree.
• You told me the Bible is the textbook for life in all matters of faith and practice. I embraced this truth.
• You reminded me over and over again “Jesus remains the same yesterday, today and forever.” (Hebrews 13:8) Indeed and Amen.

But now, some of you are saying, per your new stance that your understanding of homosexuality is “evolving” – “Well, maybe homosexuality isn’t so bad after all.”

Many Sunday morning church pulpits have lapsed fully into the silent mode with regard to homosexuality which has and is perpetuating a tsunami of immorality.

The gay community is extremely vocal and highly visible demanding their right to be who they want to be, but I am now being told daily I cannot have, and I must now have the same right.

I am trying very, very hard to understand. Would you help me, please?

Much too often, I turn around wondering, “Where did everybody go?”

Having once faced and addressed the impact of rejection and abandonment in my life, must I face it again?

Should we compare where we stand now regarding homosexuality and related issues to the time when things got very, very tough and Jesus said to His disciples, “Will you also turn away?” (John 6:67)

You told me and reminded me frequently…

“The Church must call homosexual practice sin and while that will be offensive too many, the Word of God must not and cannot be watered down.”

In many respects, I attribute my new life in Christ Jesus of 40 years to Christians sharing and holding me to The Truth.

• You told me I was not born gay. I embraced this truth.
• You told me change is possible. I changed.
• You told me our true identity is in Christ Jesus – not our sexuality. True.
• You told me not to allow my past to dictate who I am in Christ today. Agreed.
• You told me homosexuals are redeemable with God’s grace and power more than sufficient to transform a life. Amen.
• You told me sharing the Gospel is not an option for a Christian but rather obedience to a command. Absolutely.
• You told me the only way out of homosexuality was through a deep, personal, intimate relationship with Christ Jesus.

Has any of the above mentioned changed?

If, yes, to any of the above mentioned, “Jesus I know, and Paul I know, but who are you?” (Acts 19:15)

Truth lived out Christ’s way, does not have any gray edges. It is abundantly clear and straight forward.

In Christ,

Phillip, just one of the many prodigals.

“And we, who with unveiled faces all reflect the Lord’s glory, are being transformed into His likeness with ever-increasing glory, which comes from the Lord, who is the Spirit.” (2 Corinthians 3:18)

Respectfully, truth, God’s absolute truth has not changed and will never change just because you did due to a so-called “evolved and enlightened understanding” of homosexuality.

Having/holding the right positions is good.

Living them is better.

It helps every so often to review the way we’re handling the gifts, responsibilities and abilities God’s given us. They’ll be tried by fire someday soon, and that’s a test we individually and collectively want to pass.

“Each one’s work will become evident; for the day will show it because it is to be revealed with fire, and the fire itself will test the quality of each one’s work” (1 Corinthians 3:13).

I have met and continue to meet Christian leadership who actually are afraid to tell the same-sex attracted that same-sex practice is a sin, fearing they will somehow damage them by telling them the truth.

Indeed, our speech should be grace-filled, but that is no reason to shy away from an honest assessment of a behavior, any behavior, God has defined as sin.

It is imperative we be honest when discussing what’s right or wrong, and we must be sure that whoever hears us, whether they are agree with us or not, will at least walk away knowing where we stand.

To date, many have based their understanding of today’s social issues on the Bible’s truth. However, mainstream culture not only sees these issues differently but calls you bigoted for rejecting views they have deemed self-evident.

So where do you “go from here and how do you remain a witness of Christ’s love to those ready to label and right you off as hateful?”

Having/holding the right positions is good.

Living them is better.

Today, anyone who believes in upholding and protecting the Lordship of Christ and the Authority of Scripture, especially its relevance to social issues, as well as offering a defense for sound doctrine will most assuredly find himself in an intense battle.

Articulating Biblical precepts can get you fired, canceled, censored, and possibly even jailed. The demand for dedicated faithful followers of Christ Jesus to be silent is growing.

However, we must never be ashamed of the gospel – and we are told to proclaim its precepts.

If the Christian community is ever to meet the challenge of the relentless pro-gay assault upon the Church and God’s Word, it is essential and imperative the Church recover its purpose and proper place by preaching and teaching the entirety of Scripture as it applies to all of life – which includes the realm of sexual ethics and morals.

For faithful followers of Christ Jesus, following the teachings of Christ and being purposed to reach men and women struggling with same-gender attraction may inflict a tremendous personal challenge, if not a very high price.

However, if we are truly in love with Jesus, our willingness and obedience to go in His Name does not really cost us anything, it is a joy. But it just might cost those who do not know Him or refuse to follow Him a great deal.

Over and over again, I have found that teaching and testifying about a God that saves and delivers from the snare of homosexuality causes many people to have their plans for life upset. The world and its effects have worn away the faith of many. While it is continued to be taught and preached that God can do the impossible, do we still believe that?

When it comes to the issue of homosexuality, the Church has become fractured and viewpoints can differ from church to church, denomination to denomination, and believer to believer.

While some say, “God created some men and women homosexual; acting out sexually doesn’t matter, you are saved by faith and not works; homosexuals were created to be lost; God accepts you where you are and no change is necessary,” each and every one of these misguided false statements flies in the face of the Gospel of Jesus Christ.

I have even tragically heard it said, “the very best a homosexual can hope for is celibacy,” when it comes to change. Is it any wonder the man or woman struggling with homosexuality is often completely confused about the Christian viewpoint? Too often, the individual trying to follow and be obedient to the full Gospel of Christ encounters someone who is there to tell him he doesn’t have to change his life, just change churches. It is far easier to change churches than it is to be obedient and change your attitude and behavior.

As a Christian, I must be obedient and involved in the full purposes of God which will often cause many to be offended. However, being obedient to Jesus never brings dishonor to Him. The only thing that dishonors Him is not obeying Him.

I believe an appropriate question for the Church today regarding homosexuality and related issues is, “Am I being loyal to the notions of Jesus, or loyal to Him?”

Are we, His Church, remaining loyal to what He has clearly stated in His Word regarding homosexuality, or are we trying to find compromises with conceptions that never came from Him?

Helping a man or woman to come out of homosexuality takes a tremendous amount of effort. Frankly, it is much, much easier to say that it simply can’t be done than to embark on a journey that may last for a very long time. Tragically, many have counted the cost and ultimately made the decision that it simply wasn’t worth the effort. However, that never has, nor will it ever minimize God’s power or His sovereignty.

Yes, God is more than able to change our life, but He requires our obedience and participation. Unfortunately, we live in a world today that seeks, if not demands, a simple and natural explanation for just about everything. Anytime we look to the world for definitive answers, we place ourselves on shifting sand.

When a person who was once controlled by his sin is now free from that sin and engaged in a new kind of life pattern, hasn’t change occurred?

Oswald Chambers states in My Utmost for His Highest, “A man is a slave for obeying unless behind his obedience there is recognition of a holy God.” I find it remarkable that God never insists on our obedience, but when we truly know Him, we want to instantly obey Him and live according to His perfect will from sunup to sundown.

Indeed, obedience is much better than sacrifice. However, the wonderful hymn, “I Surrender All,” does not seem to be at the top of the charts today. Today, like never before, God desires that all men and women surrender their sexuality to Him. When anyone is obedient and fully surrenders their life to Him, which includes their sexuality, life will take on new meaning, purpose and a relationship with God, that many never thought possible, will become a reality.

Why? Because God always blesses obedience.

“I tell you the truth unless a kernel of wheat falls to the ground and dies, it remains only a single seed. But if it dies, it produces many seeds. The man who loves his life will lose it, while the man who hates his life in this world will keep it for eternal life.” (John 12:24-25 NIV)

Today, there remains a remnant being used of God to bring repentance and restoration to men and women with unwanted same-sex attraction. Personally, I continue to hope and pray their example will bring repentance and restoration to the Church of Jesus Christ.

Holiness, godliness, and spiritual discipline should be, must be the distinctive marks of the true Church. Jesus prayed that His people be kept in truth: “Sanctify them by Your truth. Your word is truth.” (John 17:17)

Compromising God’s Word, His Truth, or withholding His Truth only leads to greater unity with the world and not His Church.

As Christians, may we never forget that while our obedience to the Great Commission may cost us personally, the good news of spiritual deliverance through Jesus Christ remains an important and vital resource that Christians must share.

On God’s truth is where a Christian, the Church must stand.

Having/holding the right positions is good.

Living them is better.

Pastor Phillip Lee
Executive Director
His Way Out Ministries

Please consider making a donation at www.hiswayout.com/donate. Thank you, Pastor Phillip Lee

A new survey has found most churchgoers don’t believe the Bible speaks clearly about homosexuality.

Not all that surprising since there are churches (places where people gather) and then there is The Church where the Lordship of Christ and the Authority of Scripture is both taught and upheld.

The “Social Issues and Worldview” study, released jointly by the Family Research Council and the Cultural Research Center at Arizona Christian University, found only 47% believe Scripture is “clear and decisive” about “whether homosexuality is morally acceptable,” a steep decline from the 63% in 2023.

More than one quarter (26%) of churchgoers said they believe the Bible is “unclear or ambiguous” about homosexuality, with 16% insisting the Bible doesn’t address homosexuality and 11% said they are unsure.

Additional reading:
A national survey of churchgoing Americans: Social Issues and Worldview (PDF)

Tragically the study does reveal and explain why much of the Christian community has not and is not maturing in terms of spiritual growth.

Spiritual growth and maturity calls for understanding a myriad of concepts about a believer’s life: the struggle between the flesh and the spirit (Galatians 5:16-25), the sanctity of the body (1 Corinthians 6:19-20), the responsibility to make use of our God-given gifts (Matthew 25:14-29), and the moral and sexual boundaries God has established, since ambiguity on that topic is an invitation to the chaos (1 Corinthians 6:18) we are now witnessing in the world.

It is only when The Church has been taught and holds to God’s absolute truth, The Church has any hope of influencing culture.

Pastor Phillip Lee
Executive Director
His Way Out Ministries

Please consider making a donation at www.hiswayout.com/donate. Thank you, Pastor Phillip Lee

The reality of homosexuality isn’t “out there.” It’s here, inside many churches across the country.

The dangerous code of ‘say nothing, do nothing’ adopted by far too many churches has resulted in many learning more about homosexuality from the internet, movies and television resulting in many not getting the truth on the topic.

Churches that engage in compassionate ministry to men and women with unwanted same-sex attraction and their families can effectively influence our culture.

If God can trust you to love gays, He will use you to win them.

Picture This…

His heart is racing with fear and anxiety.

The last thing he wants to do is talk about his struggle with homosexuality. However, his conviction is incredibly strong, and he wants help.

Mustering up all the courage he can, he steps out.

“Excuse me, Pastor, do you have a minute to talk with me?”

The pastor’s verbal response says yes, but his body language sends the message that he’d rather not. With his stomach in knots, he confesses his struggle with homosexual thoughts and temptations.

Barely into his confession, the pastor suddenly interrupts.

“Let’s pray about your problem right now.”

The pastor prays binding “the foul demon of homosexuality” and commands Satan to flee. He “pronounces victory” over the man’s battle with homosexuality. Concluding the prayer, he glibly pats the man on the back and walks away.

What has just happened here?

The pastor has walked away, and the man is thinking to himself, “I don’t feel a bit different.” In fact, he feels violated.

He leaves church hoping that somehow his struggle with homosexuality will just disappear. It didn’t, and it won’t just go away.

Eventually, the man believes that it isn’t safe to share his struggle with anyone. Ultimately, several years later, he finds himself in his first homosexual relationship.

Stories like this are all too common.

Many men and women feel that they have nowhere to turn. Often when they muster up enough courage to finally seek help, their experience turns out to be a negative one. Secular influence, on the other hand, encourages them to embrace their homosexual identity.

Anyone who has been in Christian ministry, even for a short period of time, undoubtedly knows that same-sex attraction even affects Christian men and women.

So, what can you do to help? What is a good approach?

First, some words that will most definitely hurt instead of help.

“I can’t believe it. This is so unlike you.”
“This is just a phase you’re going through.”
“Just try to be straight. I know this nice boy/girl you could date.”

What to do…

Avoid using labels. Homosexuality may not be ‘the issue’ at all. Some individuals (especially youth) will assume they are gay simply because they engaged in experiments with someone of the same sex. No one should label their self-based on his or her experiences or thoughts.

Avoid trite sayings. The individual confiding in you is sharing his/her deepest, darkest secret. Clearly, if it is important to them – make it important to you. Trivializing what is being shared with you only intensifies the problem.

Acknowledge what they are sharing. “Thank you for confiding in me. You must really be having a very difficult time with all of this going on in your mind” is an excellent way of letting the person know you just heard what they have shared. Let the individual know that what has been shared does not – will not- change your relationship.

Demonstrate your care, concern, your love. Do not hesitate or be afraid to touch the person who confesses their struggle. A tender hand on the shoulder or a hug speaks volumes. Consider confessing some of your own insecurities or struggles. This helps him/her to see and know they are not alone.

Finally, “BE THERE!”

The greatest ministry to individuals struggling with sexual identity issues or not – is your time. They all want to know that you genuinely care about them, and you will be there for them, that they will be loved and accepted, and that they have security in your friendship.

We are Christ’s ambassadors, called to reconcile a lost world to God (2 Corinthians 5:20). It’s up to you and me to reach men and women with the unwanted brokenness of same-sex attraction, providing truth and a way of escape.

Never, ever, ever, ever minimize the importance and significance of your presence. It speaks volumes!

You may feel unqualified and incapable of offering anything of value, but often times it only takes a willing heart and someone to just BE THERE!

Pastor Phillip Lee
Executive Director
His Way Out Ministries

Please consider making a donation at www.hiswayout.com/donate. Thank you, Pastor Phillip Lee

Not long ago, a Christian friend and mother I have known for many years contacted me and once again uttered the expression I have heard so many times during the 31 years of His Way Out Ministries, “I never thought I would be contacting you with a problem of homosexuality in my family.”

The mother was understandably shattered. Initially, while the mother did respond and react appropriately standing upon the right Scriptures, the son responded with a very interesting and revealing remark.

He said, “Mom, you keep telling me how hard this is for you to hear and deal with. Don’t you realize how hard it has been for me these many, many years, being raised in a Christian home and knowing that once this got out it would kill you? Ultimately, I had to make a decision that I knew nobody would be happy with. Please consider and realize that I have my own demons to fight.”

Frankly, there is a great deal of truth in the son’s comments.

Whether we agree or not with the son’s ultimate decision or conclusion that he is gay and entitled to act upon his feelings and desires (which I certainly do not), we must admit that he was right in saying he had reached his conclusion after going through quite an intense struggle on his own. It is very important to remember within the evolvement of same-sex attraction that homosexual tendencies are discovered but the gay identity is ultimately embraced. And there is a considerable difference between the two.

When any individual discloses their battle with same-sex attraction, their confession enables an intriguing and powerful opportunity to the family and really to anyone that becomes aware. Can I truly continue to love him for who he is and not for what he does?

As a Christ-follower, if we are becoming effective in not putting unrealistic expectations on ‘anyone,’ we are in line to accept them for who they are, not for what we wish they were. It is God’s part to give those that struggle with same-sex attraction abhorrence for the behavior – an abhorrence that will bring them to a place of complete surrender to the sovereignty of God in their lives and a desire to change.

While there are no specific verses in the Bible telling us under what circumstances, if any, we should adopt this or that policy toward a homosexual loved one, let’s consider a few specific communications that need to be offered with the hope and endeavor of keeping the lines of communication open.

What the Bible says and why you disapprove of homosexuality every time you are with your child, friend, co-worker, etc., is not necessary to state. However, do make sure the individual knows the following:

• You understand that he/she did not ask for these feelings.
• You appreciate their honesty and transparency in disclosing their issue with same-sex attraction.
• Your belief regarding homosexual practice as sin is not going to change.
• You want to protect your relationship through mutual respect and understanding.
• While you may never agree on the subject of homosexuality, you are committed to not letting that disagreement ruin your relationship.

As faithful followers of Christ Jesus, we must never affirm homosexual practice. But we can at least affirm the fact that the individual struggling with same-sex attraction has tried to be honest with us and has taken quite a risk in telling us, knowing it is not what we wanted to hear.

How well I remember disclosing my own battle with same-sex attraction and giving my family every reason to write me off. Frankly, there was no reason for my family to ever think I would repent and turn completely away from homosexuality.

Thankfully, sometimes when God calls us to release a family member or friend through a prayer of relinquishment, that doesn’t mean He is releasing them as well.

God is saying: “Do all you can do, continue to love them and wait.”

Indeed, dealing with the discovery that someone you love has same-sex attraction issues is a difficult stewardship. But the God who gave us this stewardship has also equipped us to handle it and maintain a Christ-like attitude.

“For whatever things were written before were written for our learning, that we through the patience and comfort of the Scriptures might have hope.” (Romans 15:4)

Pastor Phillip Lee
Executive Director
His Way Out Ministries

Please consider making a donation at www.hiswayout.com/donate. Thank you, Pastor Phillip Lee

Is culture influencing us, the Christian community, more than we are influencing the culture?

What we are facing is nothing short of a need for reform clothed in the hope of revival.

People I know, people you know, people in our churches, people in our families, having bought into the rhetoric and false teachings of pro-gay theologians, pro-gay apologists, and revisionists of Scripture regarding same-sex practice simply because they offer a so-called ‘enlightened understanding,’ an alternative that for some insane reason (sounds and seems) superior.

Any attempt at accepting or promoting homosexual practice in any form and to any degree requires abandoning the truth of God when trying to make the Bible agree with the gay is good notion.

Example: Pro-gay theology argues the Scriptures that clearly define same-sex practice as sin have been “mistranslated.”

The “mistranslated” argument makes no sense. On something as important as sexual ethics, are we really to believe that the Bible translators we rely on got it wrong five different times, in two different Testaments? And ONLY on the Scriptures regarding same-sex practice scenarios? That’s just too convenient.

The fact is, in Leviticus, Romans, 1 Corinthians and 1 Timothy, same-sex practice is mentioned in the context of sexual and immoral behavior. The context is quite clear – a variety of behaviors are prohibited; same-sex practice, along with adultery, fornication, and idolatry, is one of them.

So, there is a group purporting to be of God and led of the Holy Spirit distorting and adding to the Gospel.

Tragically, fueling their fires are those that have embraced and adopted the silent-mode – say nothing, do nothing – received by the pro-gay camp as validation, acceptance, and approval of their quest.

No one can say they truly love people by standing by silently and allowing them to compromise their life in sexual sin, unchallenged.

That is not love!

Those having succumbed to human speculation, human knowledge, human understanding, and human reasons have dismissed and rejected the Bible as the Word of God.

If we, the Church, truly desire to function at our best, we must return to upholding the Truth and Authority of Scripture in all matters of faith and practice. This includes God’s original divine intent for human sexuality and His holy boundary lines for living.

This, I submit, would be a huge, considerable first step in reestablishing the Christian community to positively influence society and culture.

The Church fit to respond with grace and truth to our present culture will be one that is reformed by a return to basics and revived by a fresh wind.

Pastor Phillip Lee
Executive Director
His Way Out Ministries

Please consider making a donation at www.hiswayout.com/donate. Thank you, Pastor Phillip Lee