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Educational Workshop, Rock Harbor Church, Saturday, September 10, 2022

Title: There’s Something I Need to Tell You! (When a Loved One, Friend, Co-Worker, Neighbor or Fellow Brother and Sister in Christ Confesses They Are Same-Sex Attracted)
Location: Rock Harbor Church, Bakersfield, CA – https://rockharborchurch.net/
Date: Saturday, September 10, 2022
Time: 9:00am – 11:00am

Workshop Description:
What do you say and do when a loved one confesses, that they are homosexual? The workshop offers practical steps and information to help you understand your loved one, guidance to keep the lines of communication open without compromising your beliefs, and presents the biblical position on homosexuality.

The workshop is also designed to help clear up the misconceptions many have today about homosexuality. Why should sharing the Gospel with a gay person be approached differently than anyone else? Scripturally speaking: what do we know about homosexuality? Why doesn’t God just go ‘Poof!’ and make it go away? Is just saying homosexuality is a sin good enough? Does it matter why the person you love is homosexual?

The workshop offers biblical and compassionate responses to homosexuality for parents, pastors, co-workers, a neighbor, or maybe just a good friend.

The Educational Workshop will be facilitated by Pastor Phillip Lee, Executive Director of His Way Out Ministries – www.hiswayout.com – who speaks to the topic of same-sex attraction professionally and personally having left homosexual practice and the gay identity 37 years ago.

There is no fee for the workshop however registration is necessary and may be completed by sending (1) your name(s) (2) home church (3) email address and (4) cell phone number to email address: hwom@juno.com

Pastor Phillip Lee
Executive Director
His Way Out Ministries

His Way Out has been faithfully ministering to men and women seeking a way out of sexually broken lifestyles since 1994. We could not do it without the support of Christians like you. Every dollar that you give to His Way Out Ministries helps to further this vital ministry. Won’t you take a minute to prayerfully consider a monthly donation to His Way Out? Please consider making a one-time donation or set up a secure monthly PayPal contribution on our donation page at https://www.hiswayout.com/donate/. Thank you, Pastor Phillip Lee

It is no secret that American culture has and continues to drift far from the standards of sexual morality found in the Bible. In place of standards tied by faith and tradition to what God reveals in Scripture, our culture has embraced other views all fundamentally opposed to biblical sexual morality.

On Saturday, September 3, 2022, His Way Out Ministries will resume our weekly radio broadcast on KERI 1410AM with each broadcast airing 12:00 – 12:30pm (PDT).

KERI 1410AM offers a Live Stream: http://www.wilkinsradio.com/our-stations/keri-1410am-bakersfield-ca/

Our weekly broadcast will also air Saturday’s, 8:30pm – 9:00pm (EDT) on WLMR AM and FM 103.3 in Chattanooga, TN.

Our weekly broadcast will eventually be offered on our website joining five years of broadcasts currently offered for immediate listening or downloading for future listening.

Please visit: https://hiswayout.com/category/audio-podcast/

With truth in our hearts, we can go forward to have conversations that change our culture and reveal the love of Christ Jesus to all the world.

Pastor Phillip Lee
Executive Director
His Way Out Ministries

His Way Out has been faithfully ministering to men and women seeking a way out of sexually broken lifestyles since 1994. We could not do it without the support of Christians like you. Every dollar that you give to His Way Out Ministries helps to further this vital ministry. Won’t you take a minute to prayerfully consider a monthly donation to His Way Out? Please consider making a one-time donation or set up a secure monthly PayPal contribution on our donation page at https://www.hiswayout.com/donate/. Thank you, Pastor Phillip Lee

Where there is confusion, there is a desperate crying need for clarity. Personally, I remain challenged and purposed to continue equipping Christians in order to discuss same-sex behavior from a Biblical perspective.

The absolute critical importance of embracing God’s Truth regarding homosexual practice is the catalyst for His Truth to be clear in our hearts which enables God’s people to move forward and have conversations that will change our culture and reveal the love of Christ to all the world.

It is abundantly clear, based upon my travels through churches of various denominations here in America and overseas – that far too many congregation members are still not being informed, equipped, and educated on the complexities of same-sex attraction and related issues, and as a result are paying a very high price, if not feeling like failures, or as one man shared with me not so long ago… “We’re getting slammed due to a lack of knowledge and practical tools that would help us be more effective in reasoning with and reaching those that promote the ‘gay is good’ notion. We are needlessly getting hammered.”

How is it with the battle of homosexuality in the Church, which has been raging for several decades, there is such hesitation and reluctance to specifically address the crisis?

Many continue to gather Sunday after Sunday for worship as though nothing has happened. Consequently, today, not only are believers falling into homosexual sin and legitimizing it but many within the uninformed Church are applauding them as they do.

Herein lies my ongoing concern with regard to homosexual practice. With everything that has transpired and everything that continues to unfold, most Christians are still learning more about homosexuality from movies, the Internet, and television than they learn in their own congregations.

Often, hanging in the balance, are many who struggle with same-sex attraction and remain torn by the ongoing rhetoric and debate while yearning to hear the redemptive truth of the Bible.

Today, there exists a hodgepodge of beliefs, attitudes, and positions regarding homosexuality in the Church.

“Welcoming and Affirming” churches believe homosexuals cannot change and encourage gays and lesbians to “live according to your same-sex leaning and desire.”

“Intimidated and Fearful” churches have been scared speechless and take the stance that the topic is just too confusing, political, and divisive.

“Belittling” churches blatantly condemn homosexual practice, in any form and to any degree, and communicate such a stance coupled with great condemnation and judgment.

“Complacent” churches find the whole matter unimportant and irrelevant to the scheme of things in culture and church.

“No Problem” churches are completely unaware of homosexual strugglers in their own congregation which enable many to suffer in silence believing there is no help to be had for the brokenness of same-sex attraction.

“Scripturally-Sound” churches offer ministry and discipleship to the homosexual struggler clothed in a balance of both truth and grace, loving them as any other member while not dismissing, apologizing, and clearly stating the practice of homosexuality is a violation of God’s intent and purpose.

The promises of God are true and unfailingly fruit-bearing “if” we extend them.

I believe we, the Church, must be much more dedicated to offering the right blend of information, practical steps, and Biblical guidelines regarding homosexuality. This is reasonable service.

Personally, I am convinced in these days of ‘tolerance’ and ‘moral relativism’ it is essential and imperative we, the Church, return ourselves to the holy boundary lines and principles of the Scriptures that are to govern our lives regarding all matters of morality and ethical living.

God, in His mercy, patience, and long-suffering is once again giving His people the opportunity to prepare to offer a Christ-like response to homosexuality.

Jesus said, “You are the light of the world. A town built on a hill cannot be hidden. Neither do people light a lamp and put it under a bowl. Instead, they put it on its stand, and it gives light to everyone in the house.” (Matthew 5:14-15)

We, the Church, must become much more relevant to a rapidly changing world.

Pastor Phillip Lee
Executive Director
His Way Out Ministries

His Way Out has been faithfully ministering to men and women seeking a way out of sexually broken lifestyles since 1994. We could not do it without the support of Christians like you. Every dollar that you give to His Way Out Ministries helps to further this vital ministry. Won’t you take a minute to prayerfully consider a monthly donation to His Way Out? Please consider making a one-time donation or set up a secure monthly PayPal contribution on our donation page at https://www.hiswayout.com/donate/. Thank you, Pastor Phillip Lee

It is 1981, I am living in San Francisco and very much a member of the gay community. On a Sunday afternoon, I leave my apartment and walk down Powell Street toward Market Street, the main drag of downtown San Francisco.

The closer and closer I get to Market Street, clearly, something is going on because the boulevard is lined with a huge crowd of people. I have happened upon my first Gay Pride Parade.

I cannot believe what I am witnessing. Frankly, the first thought that occurred to me was, “Why aren’t these people being arrested?” largely due to the pornographic nature and displays that are parading by, one after another after another. And, I am thinking, “This is what I am to be proud of?”

It was my first and last gay pride parade.

Today, far, far beyond equal rights for many groups in America in their attempts to reweave the social, cultural, and political fabric of this country, is an unquenchable thirst for power.

Right on the heels of the power quest is a relentless crusade by many groups for acceptance and to gain society’s stamp of approval on a considerable list of various behaviors.

When same-sex marriage became legal throughout America (but not lawful in the Kingdom of God), the entire lid to Pandora’s Box came off. Various groups that had been for a very long time standing along the sidelines waiting their turn busted out of the box and began to be much more vocal and visible demanding to be recognized and accepted.

And, let me be perfectly clear by stating, we the Church did contribute to the past, and the ongoing cultural vacuum that has allowed the redefinition of marriage, family, etc. to happen with so little resistance.

Frankly, the 17 years I spent as a gay-identified man, which included witnessing my first and last gay pride parade in 1981, I frequently found myself scratching my head and marveling at why the gay community adopted the rainbow as their emblem.

It was both confusing and perplexing then. But not now.

It is possible to desire, welcome, and even invite the presence of God but ignore, if not totally dismiss, any possible judgment of God.

But not so fast.

Genesis 9:13 says, “I have set my rainbow in the clouds, and it will be the sign of the covenant between me and the earth.”

Clearly, the rainbow signifies the promise of God regarding God’s judgment on the world.

Interesting, I was once so deceived to think I would not have to pass through the judgment of God.
And, lest we forget.

The flood of God’s judgment came first.

The rainbow of the presence of God then followed.

The exclamation, “Don’t judge me!” is completely and totally misplaced and inaccurate.

Judgment will come – to each and every one of us.

Pastor Phillip Lee
Executive Director
His Way Out Ministries

His Way Out has been faithfully ministering to men and women seeking a way out of sexually broken lifestyles since 1994. We could not do it without the support of Christians like you. Every dollar that you give to His Way Out Ministries helps to further this vital ministry. Won’t you take a minute to prayerfully consider a monthly donation to His Way Out? Please consider making a one-time donation or set up a secure monthly PayPal contribution on our donation page at https://www.hiswayout.com/donate/. Thank you, Pastor Phillip Lee

The normalization of homosexual practice has to a very large degree occurred due to individuals and churches shunning responsibility, by their silence, that God’s truth on the subject is just too risky and not valuable enough, ultimately seeing God’s truth as optional.

Therefore, it should not be surprising that God’s absolute truth has been and continues to be revised and rejected regarding homosexual practice.

In June 2015, when America legalized same-sex marriage, the lid on Pandora’s Box came flying off, immediately generating a downward spiral, a continuous deterioration of truth largely due to the mishandling of God’s truth by the ones it was entrusted to.

There is no denying culture’s influence in reshaping truth but also believers who have ultimately allowed truth to become so denigrated that truth is now, in some eyes, relative and flexible.

As the Apostle Paul predicted, we will no longer endure sound doctrine according to 2 Timothy 4:3.
If current trends continue, I am convinced the Biblical view and truth regarding homosexual practice, will be that many will be tempted to continue appeasing culture rather than God’s truth constituting a betrayal of The Church’s function.

“The Spirit clearly says that in later times some will abandon the faith and follow deceiving spirits.” (1 Timothy 4:1)

The faithful to and for God must indeed count the cost of remaining faithful and unwavering to His Word. The days forward will require strength and resolve as continued heat and pressure will continue and intensify.

Indeed, there are deep, critical, and vital issues before us today with raging political theological currents doing their utmost to submerge the Church.

Clearly, real and vital issues about the healing and transformation of sexual brokenness have and continue to sharply divide with many lives hanging in the balance. We, the Church, will not serve humanity, unity, or the cause of Christ Jesus by ignoring the differences that exist or by sticking our heads in the sand.

We must not allow emotion or the present political climate to dictate to the Church what we believe nor what we do to further God’s Kingdom. The time is very, very near where many must decide whether or not they will continue to travel the narrow road with Jesus.

This is a time for The Church to stand unwaveringly on the Word of God. There was a time when The Church set societal standards. It is only with God’s absolute truth in our hearts, we can go forward to have conversations that uphold His truth thereby changing our culture and revealing the love of Christ to all the world.

It is possible to both speak and express the heart and mind of God regarding homosexual practice.

Pastor Phillip Lee
Executive Director
His Way Out Ministries

His Way Out has been faithfully ministering to men and women seeking a way out of sexually broken lifestyles since 1994. We could not do it without the support of Christians like you. Every dollar that you give to His Way Out Ministries helps to further this vital ministry. Won’t you take a minute to prayerfully consider a monthly donation to His Way Out? Please consider making a one-time donation or set up a secure monthly PayPal contribution on our donation page at https://www.hiswayout.com/donate/. Thank you, Pastor Phillip Lee

You and I may possibly believe in truth, God’s absolute truth, but how can His truth be honored if we do not speak or act upon it?

As a Christian, I must be obedient and involved in the full purposes of God which will often cause many to be offended. However, being obedient to Jesus never brings dishonor to Him. The only thing that dishonors Him is not obeying Him.

I believe an appropriate question for the Church today regarding homosexuality and related issues is, “Am I being loyal to the notions of Jesus, or loyal to Him?” Are we, His Church, remaining loyal to what He has clearly stated in His Word regarding homosexuality, or are we trying to find compromises with conceptions that never came from Him?

There is no question that homosexuality has become perhaps the most controversial social issue of our time. While that is certainly important, true, and relevant, there is a far greater issue, crisis, and concern at hand.

Frankly, homosexuality should never have been nor should it now be the primary concern of the Church. What has been unfolding for decades and what continues today, mostly unchallenged, is a rejection of God and a suppressing of His truth, His absolute truth, in favor of being wise in our own eyes.

As a result, herein lies the dilemma for many today, “Will I reject God’s absolute truth, the authority of His Word, or will I by the power of the Holy Spirit surrender and conform my life to the Word of God?”

In a time when far too many lives and our culture is being shaped by political correctness and moral cowardice, the time is long overdue for faithful followers of Christ Jesus to stand unwaveringly on God’s absolute truth.

Is it not abundantly clear that we, God’s people, are standing front and center of one of the greatest crossroads the Church has ever faced?

Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. once said, “A man dies when he refuses to stand up for what is right; a man dies when he refuses to stand up for justice; a man dies when he refuses to take a stand for that which is true.”

We are treading on terribly treacherous turf.

Ultimately, I am satisfied God’s truth, His absolute truth, will always “be” whether you and I or anyone else believes it or likes it. 1 Corinthians 13:6 says, “Love does not rejoice in unrighteousness, but rather rejoices with truth.”

Personally, I cannot come to any other conclusion other than “love, pure, true, undefiled love supports absolute truth.”

Christ-follower, we must challenge our culture with God’s absolute truth because feelings, personal opinion, theories, notions, and ideas have consequences.

Today, many are finding God’s absolute truth much too threatening. Understandably so, because when you love sin, it is impossible to love God’s absolute truth.

Pastor Phillip Lee
Executive Director
His Way Out Ministries

His Way Out has been faithfully ministering to men and women seeking a way out of sexually broken lifestyles since 1994. We could not do it without the support of Christians like you. Every dollar that you give to His Way Out Ministries helps to further this vital ministry. Won’t you take a minute to prayerfully consider a monthly donation to His Way Out? Please consider making a one-time donation or set up a secure monthly PayPal contribution on our donation page at https://www.hiswayout.com/donate/. Thank you, Pastor Phillip Lee

201708

When it comes to the topic of homosexuality, youth always have the best questions. Questions that deserve a complete and truthful answer rather than what normally is presented through movies, television, and the Internet.

Questions from youth range from: What are the contributing factors to the brokenness of same-sex attraction? How do I approach someone I believe is struggling with their sexuality? Is it true HIV/AIDS continues to greatly impact the gay community? How do I share the Gospel with my gay-identified friend? As a Christian, should I attend a same-sex marriage ceremony? How do I address someone born one gender but identifies as the opposite gender? Is change possible for the gay and transgender person?

Today, confusion about sexual orientation is all too common during adolescence. As a result, it is risky to label teenagers “gay, lesbian, bi-sexual, or transgender” before they have the wisdom of adulthood and the opportunity to make a fully informed choice. Ultimately, when a teenager is prematurely “labeled,” there is a serious risk of “mislabeling” a portion of sexually confused youth.

Many factors can possibly lead a struggling or questioning youth into homosexual behavior or sexual identity confusion. Such as: curiosity, a feeling of not fitting in, the horrific tragedy of being molested, and the desire for attention, and a sense of belonging.

Today, I remain extremely concerned that youth, including Christian youth, are not getting all the facts with regard to the many facets of human sexuality in order to make a truly informed and godly decision about sexual identity.

When our path crosses with a struggling youth, we must be open to partnering with the Lord Jesus to help turn the tide in his or her life. During adolescence, most people determine the morals and personal identity they will embrace for the remainder of their life. As a result, much confusion and challenges will take place before any semblance of clarity comes. This is all the more true for youth deciding their sexual identity.

The teenage years are a crucial period for the Church of Jesus Christ to speak to youth tempted by the various and numerous forms of sexual and relational brokenness.

I humbly submit that society, and sometimes the Church, is unwittingly promoting social experiments and various behaviors with no justification in reality and, with all probability enabling inevitable serious moral problems with potentially tragic consequences.

In trying to ascertain the rightness or wrongness of any behavior or misguided identity, it seems to me the determining factor should be consequence, not cause. Or, have we become completely ambivalent to what is morally right?

Today, the many and various subcultures into which youth are being thrust, have high rates of depression, substance abuse, alcoholism, anonymous sex, and unsafe sex practices. Few teens possess the judgment and self-control to make wise decisions in such environments.

While I have met and continue to meet with youth who are determined to resolve the issues of their sexuality, most feel too inadequate, lack motivation, and do not have an individual structure in their life to help them through the process of healing and wholeness.

Reaching youth struggling with their sexual identity is something we all can do and must do to help searching youth understand God’s abundant plans for their lives and to counteract misguided agendas that seek to ruin all hope for the youth. You and I may be the only person that will have the courage to share the Good News with a youth impacted by sexual and relational brokenness.

Practically speaking…

Keep the consequence of sin in context. We have all fallen short of the glory of God.

Accepting and loving a teenager without conditions has nothing to do with condoning their behavior/lifestyle.

Offer to serve as an accountability and prayer partner.

Clearly distinguish the difference between temptation and sin.

Don’t overreact – be prepared for the “born that way” argument.

You are not expected to have all the answers.

Never, ever water down the Word of God.

Be patient and trust God completely.

Emphasize the key to overcoming sexual brokenness and sexual identity confusion is in Christ Jesus.

On the Cross, Jesus secured salvation for any and all who commit their lives to Him. At Calvary, Jesus’ blood put into effect the new covenant. He said, “It is finished.”

With that proclamation, anyone can now walk in the fullness of life that He intended and provides. All things are possible, as Jesus intercedes for us. Assuming our sin, shame and death, He declared, “It is finished,” which is a statement about an end. However, each end makes room for a wonderful and glorious new beginning.

While it is easy enough to become cynical about the times in which we live, remember when God is put in the equation of life, a hope that does not disappoint rises with us. It is true that the number of teens struggling with their sexuality has become alarming, but we should and must trust God and reach out to youth with the message of salvation and sexual redemption available through the Lord Jesus Christ.

Pastor Phillip Lee
Executive Director
His Way Out Ministries

His Way Out has been faithfully ministering to men and women seeking a way out of sexually broken lifestyles since 1994. We could not do it without the support of Christians like you. Every dollar that you give to His Way Out Ministries helps to further this vital ministry. Won’t you take a minute to prayerfully consider a monthly donation to His Way Out? Please consider making a one-time donation or set up a secure monthly PayPal contribution on our donation page at https://www.hiswayout.com/donate/. Thank you, Pastor Phillip Lee

201708

For some time, I have been involved in a dialog with members of the gay community. Our conversation and our exchange largely began because I became concerned and alarmed that with all the media attention given to the bullying of members of the gay community, not much, to my knowledge, was or is being offered, mentioned, or discussed regarding the hate that is often perpetrated against men and women that have said, “No,” to homosexual practice.

Yes, I am using the word “hate”.

I am confident many today are not aware there continue to be men and women with unwanted same-sex attraction that have and are making the personal decision to leave homosexuality. As a result, formerly gay-identified men and women are often reviled simply because they dare to exist.

Should not “diversity” and “tolerance” be a two-way street by recognizing and including the once gay-identified man or woman? We are real, and we are here. Therefore, I must express my growing concern about the often widespread “intolerance” practiced against those who decide to face and break free of the snare of same-sex attraction.

Here’s the question: Why do some gays (hate) ex-gays so much?

Thirty-one years ago, I said goodbye to homosexuality and the gay identity. Like all faithful followers of Christ Jesus, I had to face the decision of accepting or rejecting Christ’s Lordship. Coming out of homosexuality required deep emotional healing and a restructuring of my whole identity, as our Creator, God, is the only One who knows exactly how to restore our personality.

I remember so vividly when coming to know Christ at the age of 35, what it meant for the first time in my life to be a man. But more importantly, what it meant to be a godly man. For me to deny or not share what Christ has done in my life would be the equivalent of denying Him.

Thankfully and gratefully, I am far from the only individual that has experienced change. God has not been silent to the cries of men and women wanting freedom from homosexual feelings and behavior. Many have experienced the power of Christ to address the deep needs of both men and women trapped in same-gender struggles.

One gay activist challenged me by stating, “Phillip, while I commend you regarding your concern about ‘intolerance,’ I just can’t get my head around (ex-gay). Why don’t you just be true to yourself?”

Be true to myself?

That is exactly what I am doing. What makes one individual happy and content may not make someone else happy, because we are all individuals. I, like any man or woman, deserve the right to self-determination and happiness. To give sexual orientation protection to one group while excluding another is outright discrimination. Without testimony from all sectors of society, including the ex-gay community, public policy on the topic of homosexuality is seriously flawed.

  • Ex-gay men and women are routinely denied equal access to participate in public school events and present on diversity day.
  • Ex-gay conferences, workshops, and seminars are frequently picketed by pro-gay protesters
  • Transgendered individuals are affirmed for changing their gender, but former homosexuals are ridiculed for making the decision to address and change their sexual orientation.
  • Ex-gays are subject to an increasingly hostile environment where they are labeled as perpetrators of (hate) simply because they advocate for or live out a different belief and view of homosexuality.
  • Ex-gays are criticized and face lifelong intolerance for simply existing as living proof that homosexuality is not innate.

Frankly, the welfare of individuals, society, and the Church as a whole depends on our facing the subject of homosexuality honestly, compassionately, and courageously. Yes, homosexuals have the right, as do others, to believe that homosexual behavior should be accepted as normal. However, they do not have the right to demand everyone else agree with them.

True love is loving in spite of our differences and treating each other with kindness and respect. This is what it means to live in a society in which freedom of speech, religion (and belief) are guaranteed.

I’m real. I’m here. I will not be silent.

Pastor Phillip Lee
Executive Director
His Way Out Ministries

His Way Out has been faithfully ministering to men and women seeking a way out of sexually broken lifestyles since 1994. We could not do it without the support of Christians like you. Every dollar that you give to His Way Out Ministries helps to further this vital ministry. Won’t you take a minute to prayerfully consider a monthly donation to His Way Out? Please consider making a one-time donation or set up a secure monthly PayPal contribution on our donation page at https://www.hiswayout.com/donate/. Thank you, Pastor Phillip Lee

201708

In the dictionary a vow is defined as, “a solemn promise or declaration by which a person is bound to an act, service, or condition.” In Scripture, over and over again, we see references to vows and oaths.

“Again, you have heard that it was said to the people long ago, Do not break your oath, but keep the oaths you have made to the Lord. But I tell you, Do not swear at all; either by heaven, for it is God’s throne, or by the earth, for it is His footstool; or by Jerusalem, for it is the city of the Great King. And do not swear by your head, for you cannot make even one hair white or black. Simply let your Yes be Yes, and your No, No, anything beyond this comes from the evil one.” (Matthew 5:33-37)

How often have I heard, “I have had same-gender attraction for as long as I can remember and I guess I always will.” According to John and Paula Sanford in their book Transformation of The Inner Man, “An inner vow is a decision and resolve either to do or not to do a certain activity, event, or to have or not to have a certain attitude or relationship. It is a determination set by the mind and heart into all of one’s being usually set early in life, and often forgotten.” Personally speaking, I have often found that the attitude in which I face the mountains in life always has a direct and profound bearing on just how long “the mountain” may remain in my life.

While I would never dismiss the intense temptations, feelings, emotions, and, at times, overwhelming tsunami of same-gender attraction, if I, or anyone for that matter, continues to define their identity based on their sexuality (homosexual), it implies the possibility of one’s behavior or sexual orientation can never be minimized or changed. In other words, how we label ourselves reveals what is of prime importance in our life. There is finality about labeling oneself. It implies the subject is closed and that a decision has been reached. It is entirely possible for men and women to recover from any number of conditions but they may not recover from an inner vow or labeling of oneself.

How I remember to this day, when I was just a little guy, those that would constantly encourage me to play a variety of sports that I really didn’t want to play but did because “that is what little boys did.” That sense of reality coupled with the disappointment and downright hurt and shame of generally being the last to be picked for “the team,” caused me to make a decision (a vow) that I was never going to play “those stupid games” again. Now, I realize just how my attitude and decision (which really wasn’t based in truth it was just a perception on my part), catapulted me down a path that led to years of struggling with self-worth and acceptance. The incredible irony regarding sports activity was that I was pretty dog-gone good at a number of sports. Oh, the inner traps (vows) that cause such heartache, pain, and sometimes years of disillusionment and despair. It took me a very long time to realize that I was most definitely a “guy” that just happened to have different interests, gifts, and talents that didn’t match the abilities, gifts, and talents of others. Duh? No gender confusion, just specific gifts God had granted me and placed within me to honor and glorify Him.

It is certainly true that inner vows are sometimes identified by compulsive behavior. At the very moment we became a Christian and knew we had given our heart to Jesus, the reality of a power struggle may have in many cases just begun. Frankly, losing one’s life to find it is no easy journey because our old way of doing things and the old way of seeing ourselves dies only with a great deal of pain and over time. The true battle becomes – which will survive, our will or God’s will? The resolution of that question often involves coming to terms and dealing with the inner vows of homosexuality that have been falsely embraced as truth and have placed a person under the bitter root of fear, hidden resentment, and self-judgment.

An inner vow embracement, belief, and proclamation of, “I am gay and will always be gay,” can most definitely set the shape of our entire being and character. It is entirely possible for the entire structure of a person’s personality to be built around one inner vow. Now hear this! There is always much, much more to a person than just their sexuality! However, the owning of one’s identity being based on, “I’m gay!” can and often does shape the individual’s personality for life.

The inner vow of seeing oneself as “always homosexual” must be addressed and ultimately broken. If not broken, the strong possibility exists that the individual will fall to relying upon the power of their flesh to lead the Christian life, to be good, righteous, and holy. Freedom, true freedom, comes by faith as well recognizing that an inner vow just may have placed us in a position of defeat and not victory.

However, there is great news! Through the repentance of any sinful action that may have caused us to make a vow, we can exercise our authority in Christ and break each and every inner vow. Whether homosexuality or any other deeply ingrained habit or compulsive behavior, breaking the hold vows may have over us is entirely possible. Every Christian has been given the God-given right to cancel any vow made in the past or present.

How does one know if an inner vow is in some way impacting their life, possibly locking them in a battle with same-gender attraction? By asking. Connect with a prayer minister, a ministry, pastor or believer in the Authority of Christ and ask the Holy Spirit to come and search your heart. Anytime a believer in Christ invites the Holy Spirit to come…why wouldn’t He? Now, here’s a tip. If the Holy Spirit identifies, discloses an “inner vow,” know that a “root cause” of behavior (homosexuality, habitual adultery, alcoholism, etc.) has been identified and the Holy Spirit is enabling a key to freedom.

Personally, I have found that God will take me as far as I am willing to go. The path of healing from same-gender attraction comes about only through a genuine and intimate relationship with Jesus Christ. The addiction and bondage to homosexuality can be totally broken. I say can be because Jesus has given us free will. The essential first step is wanting Christ and all that He offers.

You know, the person that really experiences the most change is the person that has come to realize that he simply has no other place to go.

Pastor Phillip Lee
Executive Director
His Way Out Ministries

His Way Out has been faithfully ministering to men and women seeking a way out of sexually broken lifestyles since 1994. We could not do it without the support of Christians like you. Every dollar that you give to His Way Out Ministries helps to further this vital ministry. Won’t you take a minute to prayerfully consider a monthly donation to His Way Out? Please consider making a one-time donation or set up a secure monthly PayPal contribution on our donation page at https://www.hiswayout.com/donate/. Thank you, Pastor Phillip Lee

201707

I suppose I could have titled this article, “Celibacy,” but then I am fairly confident that the majority would not take the time to read the content. However, of all the challenges that we face as the Church in today’s society, sexuality, and more specifically, being single and a Christian, is undoubtedly one of the greatest.

While some Christians are married and some are single, it is abundantly clear that more are married than single. For the single person, celibacy is a good thing and should be our only choice if we want to live according to God’s Word and plan. While the world continues to encourage every type of sexual expression under the sun, I wonder, has remaining celibate become obsolete because we have become so enlightened in our understanding of human sexuality? I think not.

What accounts for the huge sexual shifts in our society? Today, without a doubt, anything goes. There is no right or wrong. Not only this, but personal morals are equated with legal rights. In the 1960’s, “Sex Makes Free,” was a familiar slogan. Sex was often viewed and hailed as a universal “fix” for loneliness and human emptiness. Today, sex is looked on more and more as a constitutionally guaranteed right – a right to fulfill one’s biological drives however one sees fit, a right to dismiss, if not discard, a spouse for greener pastures and a right to pursue any sexual orientation one desires.

My intent in writing this article is not to preach at you, to tell you right from wrong, or anything along that line (I’m sure you know all the same Bible scriptures that I do about remaining celibate as a single Christian). However, I remain greatly concerned about Christian men and Christian women that are indeed having sex and having sex frequently.

What does it mean to be Christian and single? The best definition would be to live a life devoted to God, attending church regularly, having times of fellowship with friends, and being a good friend, brother, mother, father, etc. Oh, and as a single person – not having sex.

Maybe, just maybe, with the ever-increasing societal acceptance of sex before marriage, it’s just become easy, even for Christians, to justify or rationalize having sex before marriage. At least in part, I am convinced that in many cases this is due to a lack of understanding of the dividing wall that it creates between our spirit and God’s. Frankly, in today’s society, it (sexual purity) just isn’t a top priority. Maybe you’ve noticed. “I Surrender All,” isn’t at the top of the charts today.

However, beyond the obvious advantages of celibacy is the application and adherence to Scripture for the single person. When anyone, male or female, heterosexual or homosexual, makes the conscious choice to stray beyond God’s holy boundary lines, we bring the possibility of terrible consequences upon ourselves by our rebellion and disobedience. Sexual sin causes an immediate dividing wall between our spirit and God’s. God does not create the dividing wall, our sinful behavior does. Ok, so maybe I’m preaching a bit here, but there most definitely is something about sexual sin that does a huge amount of damage to a single man or woman. Anything we do that affects one part of our being (such as our body), also affects the other parts of our being (soul and spirit). As a result, when sexual sin occurs, which is war against our own body, as well a sin against God, we bring negative consequences upon our soul and spirit as well. Heaven knows the volumes that could be written in terms of the emotional damage alone caused by sexual sin.

The Apostle Peter made this point in 1 Peter 2:11, when he pleaded: “I urge you, as aliens and strangers in the world, to abstain from sinful desires, which war against your soul.” That’s why I believe to define human sexuality (sex) just in physical terms misses the most important aspect of human sexuality – the spiritual. Sexuality is not just something that joins our bodies; it also involves the joining of our spirits. Therefore, since our sexuality links the spiritual to the physical, no amount of ‘just physical activity’ can ever create or offer the wholeness for which every single man and woman hopes for and desires.

I don’t know. Maybe it’s because I recently turned 67 years old, and still single, that I am becoming increasingly aware of the social stigma against premarital sex that has practically become a thing of the past. Today, and I include myself even at this stage in life, thanks to the media and the so-called sexual revolution, singles are now made to feel as if something is wrong with them if they don’t have sex before marriage. However, “it” (sexual purity) was something that was instilled in me from day one of my becoming a Christian. It just seemed to me that as a single man, that was God’s given design for me as a single man. Now, that doesn’t mean there haven’t been times of “fighting the flesh.” I am not ashamed to admit that living a chaste life as a single Christian has its fair share of struggles and challenges.

Very often today, American society in particular regularly challenges the Christian belief system. It’s not so much they’re asking if it’s true, but rather, does it work? Yes, living life according to a Bible-based belief system really does work. But in order to stand firm today as a single Christian man or woman, one must draw close to the Lord for that is where we get our strength. In the practical sense, it means participating in a Bible study group and having a solid network of accountability partners – partners with whom you get brutally frank, honest, and transparent.

While taking the road of sexual purity is not for the faint of heart, there remains a way to live out God-centered principles in a culturally-sensitive environment. Yes, God’s plans are always bigger and better than our own – especially and specifically when it comes to relationships, love, and sex for the single person. There remains great reward in living life God’s way.

Pastor Phillip Lee
Executive Director
His Way Out Ministries

His Way Out has been faithfully ministering to men and women seeking a way out of sexually broken lifestyles since 1994. We could not do it without the support of Christians like you. Every dollar that you give to His Way Out Ministries helps to further this vital ministry. Won’t you take a minute to prayerfully consider a monthly donation to His Way Out? Please consider making a one-time donation or set up a secure monthly PayPal contribution on our donation page at https://www.hiswayout.com/donate/. Thank you, Pastor Phillip Lee

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