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Have we lost our focus and gotten off course a bit in largely producing “counseling and support group junkies” rather than disciples?

Today, it seems that many are viewing ex-gay ministries as out trying to catch people to de-program them from homosexual behavior. We need to be very clear when people are asking for help. It is imperative we all remember homosexuals are people like you and me – people God loves. How will they come to know God’s love if we, as His family, do not reach out to them? If we truly believe God has the power to change anything, we cannot withhold offering truth, hope, and healing through Christ Jesus. Personally, I believe the extension of His love comes about by and through discipleship.

Christian discipleship is exactly the same to the homosexual struggler as it is to any man or woman combating the very long list of habits, addictions, or various behaviors that impact lives. Christian discipleship is the process by which men and women (disciples) grow in the Lord Jesus Christ and are equipped by the Holy Spirit (who resides in our hearts), to overcome the pressures, trials, and temptations that manifest in our lives and become more and more Christ-like.

But how does that play out in the practical sense?

1. Jesus must be put first in all matters of life (Mark 8:34-38). The homosexual struggler must take a purposed and deliberate step to be set apart from the world. The individual’s focus must be on the Lord Jesus and pleasing Him in every area of life. In other words, put off self-centeredness and put on Christ-centeredness.

2. Follow all the teachings of Jesus (John 8:31-32). Our obedience to the Father must be like that of a child which enables our being doers of the Word. Obedience is the supreme test of faith in God (1 Samuel 28:18).

3. Expect change (John 15:5-8). As a disciple (even those that combat same-gender attraction), our job is to abide in Christ, and “if” we do, the Holy Spirit will produce change, with change being the result of our obedience. As we become more obedient to the Lord and purposed to walk in all of His ways, our lives change. The biggest change will take place in our hearts resulting in new conduct (thoughts, words, and actions), all being representative of “change.” Ultimately, the change we all seek in our lives occurs from the inside out, through the power of the Holy Spirit.

4. In love for other believers (disciples) (John 13:34-35). Clearly, from 1 John 3:10 and 1 Corinthians 13:1-13, we see that love is not just an emotion; it is an action. We must be doing something and involved in the process of discipleship. The attitude for the homosexual struggler as well as those desiring to help or minister to those combating same-gender attraction must be fueled by the motivation of ‘love.’ When it comes to the complexities of life (including homosexuality and related issues), our ‘attitude’ should be the same as that of Christ Jesus.

5. Making disciples of others (Matthew 28:18-20). Too often, the homosexual struggler and those that have left homosexuality are reluctant to share their faith and tell nonbelievers about the wonderful changes Jesus has made in their lives. No matter what our maturity level in Christian life, we have something to offer. Frankly, some of the most enthusiastic representatives of the Christian life are new believers who have just discovered the awesome love of God. While they may not know what they’re saying goodbye to “gay” fully means, they have experienced the love of God and want to share their new found lives and identify in Christ with others.

Admittedly, deliverance from homosexuality or any habit, addiction or compulsive behavior, for that matter, comes from a Person and not a method. That said, I am concerned we have gotten far away from the command and calling of our Lord to “disciple” – especially, to the homosexual struggler. Heaven knows, Christians throughout the ages have had sinful habits to overcome and misbeliefs to replace with truth. I submit that the same Christian ‘disciplines’ that have helped a multitude will also help those struggling with same-gender attraction. Maybe it’s time to return to the basics?

Pastor Phillip Lee
Executive Director
His Way Out Ministries

His Way Out has been faithfully ministering to men and women seeking a way out of sexually broken lifestyles since 1994. We could not do it without the support of Christians like you. Every dollar that you give to His Way Out Ministries helps to further this vital ministry. Won’t you take a minute to prayerfully consider a monthly donation to His Way Out? Please consider making a one-time donation or set up a secure monthly PayPal contribution on our donation page at https://www.hiswayout.com/donate/. Thank you, Pastor Phillip Lee

His Way Out Ministries Podcasts are dedicated to equipping, educating, and encouraging the Body of Christ to reach out and minister to individuals, families, and churches impacted by the brokenness of same-sex attraction.

Carol Wagstaff & Pastor Phillip Lee

Season 4, Episode 5
Pastor Phillip Lee continues his discussion with special guest Carol Wagstaff, Founder of Living Stones Ministries and author of the new book Reclaim, Restore and Rebuild: Hope for Families Impacted by Sexual Brokenness.

Carol shares how homosexuality impacted her marriage which leads to a discussion of topics such as:

  • What does it mean to speak the truth in love?
  • Why we must be very careful to distinguish between homosexual attraction versus homosexual practice.
  • What are some of the boundaries Christian parents must set?
  • Homosexuality always seems to be someone else’s problem until it knocks on your front door.
  • The role of the Church to those with unwanted same-sex attraction.

If sexual brokenness – homosexuality or transgenderism – has touched your family, you’re on a painful and challenging journey. But you’re not alone.

Listen online or download the podcast.

The Impact of Homosexuality on Christian Families with Carol Wagstaff pt2 – Download MP3 –

All past episodes of His Way Out Ministries Radio Broadcast are available by following THIS LINK or selecting the “Audio Podcast” category to the right.

For far too many, sexual and relational brokenness has meant shame, hiding, masks, and deception. Some even take pride in the ability to keep things under wraps, to keep feelings hidden, to go it alone. All of this allows a person to remain in denial. It enables many to convince themselves that they will never have to deal with the consequences of their actions.

We can only keep the truth at bay for so long. The time finally arrives when we can no longer hide the destructiveness of our lifestyle from ourselves. For many, we were being hurt and we were hurting others often in the name of love. Hiding only increased our sense of isolation while at the same time destroying our self-esteem. Ultimately, we realized that the secrets we were keeping us from the freedom we had, at last, recognized we must find.

What we need, if we are to recover, is unconditional love. Often, our duplicity made receiving such love impossible. To know that kind of love, we have to reveal ourselves – warts and all – to God, to ourselves, and to others. Confession is the key that turns the lock that keeps us isolated and vulnerable to sexual brokenness or any form of brokenness.

When you and I take a step-by-step moral inventory of ourselves, we will find things we need to confess. We must always begin with God because He is love and has promised to forgive and cleanse all who confess to Him (1 John 1:9).

When we accept God’s forgiveness, we become empowered to face ourselves in a new way. Knowing His forgiveness enables us to forgive others. Knowing His acceptance enables us to accept ourselves.

Now, all of that prepares us for a full and honest confession to another human being. This is vital if we are to break the patterns of dishonesty and isolation that have kept us from what we have craved all along. That unconditional love and acceptance can only come from one who knows all that we are and all that we have done.

The person to whom we make such a confession must be carefully chosen. Confession builds incredible intimacy, which is an important and vital part of recovery. A word to the wise: never, ever make your confession to someone to whom you are sexually attracted.

Confession is not an “X-rated” recounting of every sordid detail of your sexual misconduct, but rather an honest facing of character faults that made you defenseless against your own lusts. Also, confession is not a “blame game.” Nobody wins in the blame game. While our struggles came to us as a result of things that happened in our childhood, we are responsible for our responses to these things as adults. Confession means facing our own faults, not those of others.

Many, many years ago, at the very beginning of my discipleship, I hit a major wall. The wall had a definite name – Loneliness! Not truly desiring to face and deal with the underlying factors that were causing the loneliness; I contacted my pastor and began to share my grief. Really, all I wanted to do was whine. You know, the “Oh, poor me syndrome.” My pastor requested I meet him at the church for a more personal face-to-face conversation. I agreed. I arrived at the church before my pastor and positioned myself for my tale of woes.

Eventually, I heard my pastor pull into the church parking lot and he immediately proceeded to the sanctuary where I was waiting. He had no sooner stepped inside when out came the words, “Now, if you’ve got one good reason, I’m here to listen, but do not give me one excuse!” I still hear those words today. They were extremely authoritative and delivered with considerable volume. I was stunned and couldn’t say a word. After a few moments of silence and collecting my emotions, I realized that my pastor had told me exactly what I needed to know, but not necessarily what I wanted to hear. His words snapped me right into reality.

Frankly, I was cornered and now required to not only face but to acknowledge I had been giving my greater attention and energy to being successful rather than being obedient. Thank God for pastors who truly have our best interest at heart.

C.S. Lewis once wrote, “No amount of falls will really undo us if we keep picking ourselves up each time. We will, of course, be very muddy and tattered children by the time we reach home, but the bathrooms are ready, the towels put out and the clean clothes are waiting. The only fatal thing is to lose one’s temper and give up. It is when we notice the dirt, that God is present in us – it is the very sign of His presence.”

The Apostle Paul writes in 1 Corinthians 6:11, “You were sanctified,” or better translated, “are being sanctified.” Sanctification is that process where sin’s power is broken and we are separated unto God, enabling us to come into the wholeness Jesus promises.

Too often, when we think of salvation, we think of it in our initial choice to follow Jesus. But rarely do we view our salvation as a process, which entails many choices and a string of deliverances.

Healing or arriving at a place of wholeness does not mean nor has it ever meant an absence of struggle. Our humanity, out of which our sexuality flows, will continue to bear the mark of the fallen age in which we live. But that does not minimize God’s power. Experiencing temptation, feeling irrationally threatened, acknowledging the need for on-going accountability simply places each one of us in a dynamic process of becoming whole.

For example, while God was helping me deal with homosexual sin, miraculously, I was spared the painful recognition of my broken masculinity, which was undergirding my sinful behavior. As I learned what it meant to be a man, and more importantly, a godly man, my masculinity began to be healed. The Lord revealed broken and hurtful aspects of how I related to family, friends, and people in general. God is faithful to reveal what needs to be healed. He does so in light of how much we can handle at once. And, He always blesses obedience.

It’s not enough to experience victory in sexual struggles. You might be saying, “It’s not…why?” Because the victory will be very short-lived if we don’t understand the specific characteristic of God on which that victory is built. God wants us to know Him and trust His character and not just use Him as a means to escape having to take responsibility for our choices. To say that Christian love is unconditional is not to say that it does not encourage the one loved to do what is right. It is to say that Christian love continues even when that person fails to do what is right.

God help us to be encouraging rather than demanding. In doing so, may many understand that obedience, not success, is your will and desire.

Pastor Phillip Lee
Executive Director
His Way Out Ministries

His Way Out has been faithfully ministering to men and women seeking a way out of sexually broken lifestyles since 1994. We could not do it without the support of Christians like you. Every dollar that you give to His Way Out Ministries helps to further this vital ministry. Won’t you take a minute to prayerfully consider a monthly donation to His Way Out? Please consider making a one-time donation or set up a secure monthly PayPal contribution on our donation page at https://www.hiswayout.com/donate/. Thank you, Pastor Phillip Lee

His Way Out Ministries Podcasts are dedicated to equipping, educating, and encouraging the Body of Christ to reach out and minister to individuals, families, and churches impacted by the brokenness of same-sex attraction.

Author Carol Wagstaff

Season 4, Episode 4
Join Pastor Phillip Lee and his special guest Carol Wagstaff, Founder of Living Stones Ministries and author of the new book Reclaim, Restore and Rebuild: Hope for Families Impacted by Sexual Brokenness.

Carol shares how homosexuality impacted her marriage which leads to a discussion of topics such as:

  • What does it mean to speak the truth in love?
  • Why we must be very careful to distinguish between homosexual attraction versus homosexual practice.
  • What are some of the boundaries Christian parents must set?
  • Homosexuality always seems to be someone else’s problem until it knocks on your front door.
  • The role of the Church to those with unwanted same-sex attraction.

If sexual brokenness – homosexuality or transgenderism – has touched your family, you’re on a painful and challenging journey. But you’re not alone.

Listen online or download the podcast.

The Impact of Homosexuality on Christian Families with Carol Wagstaff pt1 – Download MP3 –

All past episodes of His Way Out Ministries Radio Broadcast are available by following THIS LINK or selecting the “Audio Podcast” category to the right.

Today, for some people, morality has become purely a matter of personal taste. Regarding sexual expression, opinions vary on how best to attain fulfillment, and in the thinking of many people, these differences are nothing more than opinions. From this perspective, regardless of one’s personal view or opinion on sexual expression, sex outside of marriage between one man and one woman or remaining celibate as a single man or woman, has been reduced to a matter of personal preference or expression. It escapes many people today that it is both illogical and inconsistent to believe that morality is purely subjective.

What we really should be asking ourselves is, “Are the qualities or consequences of sex outside of marriage beneficial or detrimental to individuals and to society?” The question is neither political nor religious. Even if Democrats, Republicans, or The Church were silent on the subject, we would still need to ask whether sex outside of marriage is right or wrong. Ultimately, when the moral question is in focus, a number of other matters become irrelevant.

Whether or not sexual expression outside of marriage is good, and therefore, whether it ought to be socially accepted, has nothing to do with its legality or its political correctness. What matters morally should be determined on the basis of our best understanding of what constitutes human well-being.

Therefore, the issue before us is whether or not people’s lives are better – physically, psychologically, and socially, as a result of sex outside marriage between one man and one woman. Today, in American society, the quest to gain society’s stamp of approval on any type or form of sexual expression is relentless. What this amounts to is a society in which a majority of people will, in turn, lose the right to freedom of conscience, which in this case means the right to withhold affirmation and teaching and the right to believe that any form of sexual expression is not on par with the marriage bond between one man and one woman.

Given the current political climate, we find it difficult to understand and believe that sexual education can be correctly and collectively taught apart from a moral context. When the moral question has been offered and answered, then, and only then, can we truly deal with the moral decay that exists in American society and the world?

Pastor Phillip Lee
Executive Director
His Way Out Ministries

His Way Out has been faithfully ministering to men and women seeking a way out of sexually broken lifestyles since 1994. We could not do it without the support of Christians like you. Every dollar that you give to His Way Out Ministries helps to further this vital ministry. Won’t you take a minute to prayerfully consider a monthly donation to His Way Out? Please consider making a one-time donation or set up a secure monthly PayPal contribution on our donation page at https://www.hiswayout.com/donate/. Thank you, Pastor Phillip Lee

Each Saturday morning beginning at 7:30am (PST) on KERI 1410AM, and live streamed at www.wilkinsradio.com, His Way Out Ministries offers a 30-minute broadcast dedicated to equipping, educating, and encouraging the Body of Christ to reach out and minister to individuals, families, and churches impacted by the brokenness of same-sex attraction.

Season 5, Episode 16
Special Guest: Wayne Blakely, Founder/Director of Know His Love Ministries which focuses on finding one’s identity in Christ instead of in culture. He is also the author of the soon to be released book, “Line By Line: A Biblical Analysis of Guiding Families of LGBT+ Loved Ones.”

Wayne shares his experience of participating in the Freedom March event recently held in Atlanta, GA where many like-minded men and women came together and shared their testimonies of the power of Christ Jesus to change lives.

Wayne and I also discuss his soon to be released new book titled, “Line-By-Line: A Biblical Analysis of Guiding Families of LGBT+ Loved Ones” as well as, “How is change defined by the once LGBTQ+ identified?”

Listen online or download the podcast.

Change Through Relationship with Wayne Blakely
– Download MP3 –

Author Wayne Blakely

For the record…

In 1994, God saw fit to birth His ministry called His Way Out Ministries, we began as we remain today, fully committed to raising awareness, educating, and encouraging the Body of Christ to minister to those who struggle with unwanted same-gender attraction. Today, His Way Out Ministries remains concerned regarding the issue of homosexuality and seeks to minister to those within the Church, and the community at large, with the Truth of Scripture, the power of testimony, and the dialog of issues.

The ministry of His Way Out Ministries begins where God has already laid the foundation; we are not to save souls, but to disciple them. Salvation and sanctification are the work of God’s sovereign grace; our work as His disciples is to disciple lives until they are wholly yielded to God. It is only in the atmosphere of hunger, utter dependency, and willingness to obey that God imparts His holy and righteous nature, where He reveals His perfect will, and where He entrusts to any man or any woman the power to overcome same-gender attraction. Today, a true, faithful, disciple of Christ must live wholly and only for the glory of Jesus Christ.

Any individual that has experienced freedom from same-gender attraction has been compelled by the love of God planted in his or her heart through an intimate relationship with the Lord Jesus and has been empowered to resist temptation by the Holy Spirit. Whenever Jesus talked about discipleship, He always prefaced it with an “if,” never with a “you must.” Today, freedom from same-gender attraction requires a full, total, unconditional surrender that many are unwilling to offer. Ultimately, freedom from homosexuality or lesbianism revolves around the intimacy that is developed by being a disciple of Christ and the diligence and hunger with which He is pursued.

At His Way Out Ministries, we believe God wants each man and each woman to be so identified with Christ, so intimate with Him that each individual literally takes on the mind and the behavior of Christ. Truly, an earmark of a disciple of Christ today requires the individual’s heart to be fully and continually submitted to Him for on-going renovation.

His Way Out Ministries remains committed to effectively and compassionately communicating God’s heart concerning sexual brokenness and wholeness while disputing the unchangeable nature of sexual orientation. Our position rests on the Authority of Scripture versus the interpretations of some of the social sciences and medicine. We believe through a personal relationship with Jesus Christ, discipleship, the healing power of the Holy Spirit, often mediated by extended and competent ministry, prayer, and a caring Christian community, the sexually broken can experience transformation and restoration towards wholeness.

His Way Out Ministries Podcasts are dedicated to equipping, educating, and encouraging the Body of Christ to reach out and minister to individuals, families, and churches impacted by the brokenness of same-sex attraction.

Phillip Lee and Brandon Holthaus

Season 5, Episode 10
Special Guest: Pastor Brandon Holthaus, Senior Pastor, Rock Harbor Church, Bakersfield, CA.

“The Church must be reminded that it is not the master or the servant of the state, but rather the conscience of the state. It must be the guide and the critic of the state, and never its tool. If the Church does not recapture its prophetic zeal, it will become an irrelevant social club without moral or spiritual authority.” Martin Luther King Jr.

Listen online or download the podcast.

The Conscience of the State with Brandon Holthaus
– Download MP3 –

All past episodes of His Way Out Ministries Radio Broadcast are available by following THIS LINK or selecting the “Audio Podcast” category to the right.

A popular error that continues to be made by many is the attempt to blur the lines with regard to Christian ethics by making “love” an omnipotent spiritual quality that has the power to validate anything that is done in its name. Under this particular line of thinking, one could justify any type of sexual relationship, including those considered unacceptable and incompatible with Christian teaching and conduct.

However, Jesus Himself tells us clearly, “If you love me, you will keep my commandments.” (John 14:15, 15:10; Matthew 19:17) The unfortunate and misleading view that “love” in and of itself validates behavior, has led many to confuse compassion with acceptance of homosexuality.

In the face of a very long list of challenges regarding homosexual practice versus The Authority of Scripture, there are those quick to point out that Jesus Himself never addressed the issue. That said, the error of such logic can easily be demonstrated. Jesus did not directly condemn incest or bestiality. Can we, therefore, consider such practices to be acceptable? While Jesus did not directly talk about homosexual practice in any form or to any degree, He clearly affirmed the Genesis teaching on the matter of human sexuality. Jesus declared the marriage covenant between man and woman as an unalterable and sacred union. (Matthew 19:4-6)

Those attempting to revise Scripture and trump biblical injunctions against homosexual practice avoid one clear and central theme throughout Scripture – the symbolism of marriage itself. As Paul states in Ephesians 5:31-32, “For this reason, a man will leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two will become one flesh. This is a great mystery, and I am applying it to Christ and the Church.” Homosexual acts, of any kind or to any degree, are undeniably incompatible with the marriage covenant.

Indeed, God is love – absolutely. But true love has boundaries that protect, guide, and show concern for its recipients. Ultimately, showing support for, and more importantly, standing upon The Authority of Scripture “for marriage between one man and one woman” is not intolerant. If so, then nature itself would be intolerant. Marriage was established by God Himself and as a result, cannot be redefined by each new generation.

These are perilous times for The Church with regard to homosexuality and the many related issues. Far too much of man’s wisdom now prevails with far too much of God’s wisdom and truth being rewritten and discarded. Today, thankfully, the majority of Christian churches in America continue to view homosexual practice as outside the realm of appropriate Christian conduct.

At His Way Out Ministries, we believe wholeheartedly in the infallibility and Authority of Scripture. His Way Out Ministries balances truth about homosexuality with the compassion of God for homosexual people as revealed through both His Word and His Son.

Nevertheless, the battles continue, as those endeavoring to promote homosexuality seem unwilling to concede any ground, at times defying biblical standards. Therefore, His Way Out Ministries remains dedicated to raising awareness, educating, and encouraging the Body of Christ to minister to those who struggle with homosexuality while being centered on the biblical foundations of compassion, integrity, and dependence on God.

Pastor Phillip Lee
Executive Director
His Way Out Ministries

His Way Out has been faithfully ministering to men and women seeking a way out of sexually broken lifestyles since 1994. We could not do it without the support of Christians like you. Every dollar that you give to His Way Out Ministries helps to further this vital ministry. Won’t you take a minute to prayerfully consider a monthly donation to His Way Out? Please consider making a one-time donation or set up a secure monthly PayPal contribution on our donation page at https://www.hiswayout.com/donate/. Thank you, Pastor Phillip Lee

His Way Out Ministries Podcasts are dedicated to equipping, educating, and encouraging the Body of Christ to reach out and minister to individuals, families, and churches impacted by the brokenness of same-sex attraction.

Phillip Lee and Brandon Holthaus

Season 3, Episode 11
Pastor Phillip Lee continues his discussion with Pastor Brandon Holthaus, Senior Pastor of Rock Harbor Church here in Bakersfield.

We must respond with unconditional love to individuals dealing with same-sex attraction, while at the same time, unwavering in our loyalty to God’s Word. It is imperative the Church affirm and defend the Lordship of Christ and the Authority of Scripture.

Listen online or download the podcast.

Acceptance and Approval with Brandon Holthaus pt2 – Download MP3 –

All past episodes of His Way Out Ministries Radio Broadcast are available by following THIS LINK or selecting the “Audio Podcast” category to the right.

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