Today attempts to divert theological arguments regarding homosexuality rather than solve them are widening. Battles over homosexuality in churches have been raging for decades and continue today. Tragically, Sunday after Sunday, men and women gather for worship as though nothing has happened. Caught in the middle of this dark draft are men and women struggling with unwanted same-sex attraction. What are they to do? Where are they to go? Who will protect and defend them?

It is beyond tragic that much of the Church has become ensnared and bound by the false belief that in order to be effective in ministering to an individual with same-sex attraction, they must have struggled with same-sex attraction as well. Frankly, for the majority, this has become a matter of convenience to do nothing.

Compounding the crisis is the absence of conviction.

One of my absolute all-time favorite movies, directed by Robert Redford, is A River Runs Through It. It is a story about a Presbyterian minister in Montana with two sons. One son most definitely takes a more conventional approach to life while the other is a bit of a rascal. The two men take undeniably different paths in life but remain held together by the bond of family unity and respect. Sadly, at the end of the story, the renegade son is shot in a gambling dispute and dies. At the end of the film, the father is preaching. His sermon comes from Scripture and focuses on the often limitations of love. He says, “Often times those we love are the most unwilling or unable to accept our love. We reach out, but what we offer is not accepted. And, so we find that the help we offer is unwanted – but, we can love them all the same. We can love completely, even without complete understanding.”

Caught in the middle of the spiritual vacuum of “say nothing, do nothing” with regard to homosexuality and related issues, is the repentant homosexual that has not only abandoned the sexual sin of homosexual practice but a whole network of support and an identity as well. Surrendering unconditionally to the Lordship of Christ, they enter Church (many for the first time in their lives) with nothing. God, having brought them to a place of repentance, feel very frightened, vulnerable, and very, very alone.

I freely admit that I remain perplexed and deeply troubled by those in the Church that are terrified, if not paralyzed by the gay rights movement, and want to see any further legitimization of homosexuality stopped dead in its tracks but remain hesitant and unwilling to offer ministry to those who desire to come out of the behavior.

This makes absolutely no sense.

Today, more than ever, we are in need of churches that will not sidestep truth or grace but offer crystal clear truth on a host of issues, including homosexuality, toward every person. Frankly, this is exactly what the Church was called to be from the beginning and it is exactly what people are looking for today. It is a Church just like this that saved my life.

Over these past 38 years of my new life in Christ, I have shared numerous times the heart-wrenching fact that all those I once ran with are now gone. To this day, their names, faces, their laughs, haunt me. I clearly and vividly remember a phone call with my closest and dearest friend just before he passed away with AIDS. He remained in San Francisco long after God had transported me back to Bakersfield in 1985 when and where everything in my life changed. The last thing he said to me over a phone conversation was, “Phillip, we don’t understand what has happened to you, but whatever it is, keep it up.” Indeed, I continue to be haunted by waters.

Many know and understand the importance and significance of reaching the unreached peoples of the world for Christ Jesus. What about the unreached homosexual population? We, the Christian community, have a lot to learn about bringing Jesus to the gays and lesbians who hopefully will one day knock at the doors of our churches. How about, “If you struggle with homosexuality and feel trapped – there is hope! Come on into Church and investigate the roots and causes of your struggle with homosexuality. We will walk with you as you look past the surface, deep into your heart, and consider God’s will for your life.”

It is the clarity of the Holy Scriptures that should compel each and every faithful follower of Christ Jesus to be a light where there is darkness, rather than hiding our witness from those who need it.

Today, no one, with integrity, can continue to condemn a behavior or a group of people while doing so very, very little to see things improve.

Pastor Phillip Lee
Executive Director
His Way Out Ministries

His Way Out has been faithfully ministering to men and women seeking a way out of sexually broken lifestyles since 1994. We could not do it without the support of Christians like you. Every dollar that you give to His Way Out Ministries helps to further this vital ministry. Won’t you take a minute to prayerfully consider a monthly donation to His Way Out? Please consider making a one-time donation or set up a secure monthly PayPal contribution on our donation page at https://www.hiswayout.com/donate/. Thank you, Pastor Phillip Lee

Usually, when homosexuality becomes known in a family, the greater attention and focus is normally placed on the individual that has announced his or her being gay.

However, when homosexuality comes knocking on your personal front door, it affects much more than just him or her. Immediately, the crisis becomes a family matter with the family having to work through the blow of learning of a child’s homosexuality.

For Christian parents becoming aware of a child’s homosexuality, it becomes very tempting to respond with, “How can you be homosexual? You’re a Christian!” Parents become immediately flooded with questions such as: What will people think? What did I do wrong? or How are we going to deal with this?

Without a doubt, it is just as difficult for the individual to disclose their battle with same-gender attraction as it is for the family to hear. In the majority of cases, the individual struggling with same-gender attraction has been in an intense battle for a very long time especially if the individual is an adult.

The very moment the admission comes out of the individual’s mouth, all of the anxiety, turmoil, fear, shame, anger, disillusionment, and more, is immediately transferred to the parents (family).

Parents naturally want to protect their children and rightfully feel a huge amount of responsibility for their lives. As a result, it is absolutely imperative that Christian parents establish boundaries when facing and dealing with a child’s acceptance and practice of homosexuality.

In their book Boundaries, Dr’s Henry Cloud and John Townsend describe boundaries as “what defines what is me and what is not me. A boundary shows me where I end and someone else begins, leading me to a sense of ownership.”

Without a doubt, parents experience a huge amount of loss when they find out about a child’s homosexuality. Almost immediately, grief, despair, disillusionment, and fear surface launching parents into a process where they ultimately must give themselves permission to grieve and not pretend that nothing is wrong or that their world has been turned upside-down.

Every year, I receive numerous inquiries for guidance from parents wanting to know what are some of the do’s and don’ts when the holidays are fast approaching.

During the holiday season, parents in particular become overwhelmed with the various looming scenarios related to a gay-identified child coming home for Christmas and bringing “a friend.”

The line(s) between acceptance and approval, love and condoning a sinful behavior can often become a bit blurry and challenging during the holiday season.

Anita Worthen discusses the issue of inviting a child’s partner for the holidays in her book Someone I Love is Gay, “Your child’s partner is not the enemy. He or she is someone God loves – just as he loves your son or daughter.” However, that doesn’t mean you welcome the couple into your home as if nothing was wrong. Ignoring the obvious has a name – denial.

A good rule of thumb in ultimately coming to a decision on how to handle the situation is to ask, “How would I handle it if my child wanted to bring home an opposite-sex partner?” I believe the majority of Christian families would probably invite that person into their home, but clearly define the appropriate boundary line of separate sleeping arrangements. However, if parents are completely uncomfortable with the entire gay scenario, being honest is the very best policy for all involved. Because each family is unique, each family has to find a way to handle the various situations that will undoubtedly surface. There isn’t one universal answer that works for everyone.

Frankly, there aren’t any easy, pat answers for a family working through the awareness of a child’s homosexuality. There are no magic cures, no shortcuts.

However, God is more than able and willing to bring the entire family into a deeper, more intimate relationship with Him since the family, by God’s own design, was designed to be a support system and a place of love and safety.

Ultimately, only through a personal relationship with Jesus Christ and the indwelling presence of His Spirit, will any individual or family be enabled to overcome homosexuality and the many related issues.

Being a very practical individual, I encourage all parents (families) to consider that the crisis does not rest solely with the homosexual child. Within the mix of the various and numerous contributing factors to any individual struggling with same-gender attraction are family and relational issues that enabled the situation.

Therefore, I believe parents, the family, need to be willing to (1) educate themselves on homosexual behavior, (2) seek spiritual guidance for themselves, certainly their feelings and emotions, (3) be patient in embracing the reality that healing is a process and (4) release the child into the God’s care. Admittedly, the last point is much easier said than done.

However, it is when we let go of a child, a friend, or a spouse that we do stop taking responsibility for them, but we do not stop fulfilling our responsibilities to them. Homosexuality is not just about an issue. This is about people – people that God loves and people for whom Jesus died.

When homosexuality surfaces in a family, it isn’t just a child struggling with same-gender attraction; it is a family issue and needs to be healed within the family.

“The Lord also will be a refuge for the oppressed, a refuge in times of trouble.” Psalm 9:9

Recommended Reading

Someone I Love is Gay by Anita Worthen and Bob Davies
This book gives easy-to-understand answers to the family members surrounding the homosexual. Many real-life examples are cited to help families understand and respond to their homosexual loved one in a compassionate way.

101 Frequently Asked Questions About Homosexuality by Mike Haley
In this book, you will find answers to the most often asked questions about homosexuality from an expert on the subject – and a former homosexual himself.

When Homosexuality Hits Home by Joe Dallas
In this straightforward book, Christian author and counselor Joe Dallas offers practical, step-by-step advice on how to deal with the many conflicts and emotions experienced by parents, grandparents, siblings, and extended family members when they learn of a loved one’s homosexuality.

Category Archive for additional Recommended Reading
hiswayout.com/category/recommended-reading

Believing in Him and You,

Pastor Phillip Lee
Executive Director
His Way Out Ministries

His Way Out has been faithfully ministering to men and women seeking a way out of sexually broken lifestyles since 1994. We could not do it without the support of Christians like you. Every dollar that you give to His Way Out Ministries helps to further this vital ministry. Won’t you take a minute to prayerfully consider a monthly donation to His Way Out? Please consider making a one-time donation or set up a secure monthly PayPal contribution on our donation page at https://www.hiswayout.com/donate/. Thank you, Pastor Phillip Lee

For Christian parents, in particular, wading through the tsunami of emotions that accompany the announcement of, “Mom, Dad, I’m gay!” are all but swallowed-up in, “Where do we go from here?”

Mom, Dad, first and foremost remember that you are a child of God, and He has plans to, “prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” He has promised to be with you always, no matter what kind of calamity or mud pit in which you may find yourself.

Give yourself permission to wade through the myriad of real and genuine emotions. Today, with so much of society and the church being dysfunctional, it is often no small task in being comfortable with owning our feelings. Tragically, some Christian parents with gay-identified children have been told, “Don’t cry,” or “You shouldn’t feel that way.”

The challenge? To look through the eyes of faith which enables the acceptance of the present reality and ultimately produces, “What now, Lord?” rather than, “Why?” In other words, hold on to God’s promises.

Indeed, loving a wayward child the way God loves them means loving them unconditionally. It also means accepting the truth and reality that only God can bring about the change in them you hope and pray to witness.

It wasn’t until many years down the road of a new life in Christ Jesus that my mother shared with me…” You don’t know how many times in prayer I got in the enemy’s face and said, ‘I don’t care what he has done or even how many times he has done it, in Jesus’ Name, devil, you can’t have him anymore!’”

Choose today to “act” rather than “react” to the unwanted circumstance(s) that have come into your life. Seek a support group, a care group, a community in which you can be real by sharing your legitimate concerns. Those in the group need not be experts on the subject of homosexuality and they may not have ever experienced this kind of crisis themselves, but if they are compassionate people, they can give you a great deal of emotional support and nurturing.

Personally, I have the utmost respect and admiration for each and every Christian family that blends uncompromised grace and truth with regard to homosexuality. In doing so, they enable and provide God opportunity to remind just how big He is and shall forever remain. Refuse to sidestep either truth or grace by speaking clear truth about every and any issue.

Even in the crisis, because Jesus is there with you, life has any and all infinite possibilities.

The storms of life will undoubtedly do everything they possibly can to rip apart the hope we have in Christ Jesus. However, as we each seek Him with all our hearts, often within the fellowship and community of believers, behind each circumstance, each question and each answer stands the only One who can really help any of us. Truly, God knows.

Scripture clearly defines the Church as family. (1 Timothy 5:1-2; 2 Timothy 1:2-5; Hebrews 12:7-10) Having a safe environment and opportunity to be transparent with one another enables opportunity to unlock the excessive pressures of this journey called life and relieves pent-up emotions.

Keep Romans 8:28 forever in your heart. God’s promise that “all things work together for good” even when things seem to be shattered should take a high position on the priority list of verses on suffering. And consider “In love’s service, only the wounded can serve, for they alone understand the cry of the bleeding heart.”

At His Way Out Ministries, we have found and continue to see and understand the wisdom of Ecclesiastes 4:9-10: “two can accomplish more than twice as much as one, for the results can be much better. If one falls, the other pulls him up; but if a man falls when he is alone, he is in trouble.”

There is much to be said for gathering together. At His Way Out Ministries, we do not presume to have all the answers, but we do understand the human struggle related to the brokenness of same-sex attraction.

We are here to listen, support, encourage and walk with you beyond, “Why?” to, “What now, Lord?”

Pastor Phillip Lee
Executive Director
His Way Out Ministries

His Way Out has been faithfully ministering to men and women seeking a way out of sexually broken lifestyles since 1994. We could not do it without the support of Christians like you. Every dollar that you give to His Way Out Ministries helps to further this vital ministry. Won’t you take a minute to prayerfully consider a monthly donation to His Way Out? Please consider making a one-time donation or set up a secure monthly PayPal contribution on our donation page at https://www.hiswayout.com/donate/. Thank you, Pastor Phillip Lee

Some think the divorce rate among heterosexuals is so high that we simply do not have the right to sit in judgment upon the LGBT community, but jumping on-board and celebrating same-sex activity, unions or marriage by no means proves we have become more advanced, evolved, enlightened, or loving.

It does show and prove we have abandoned Biblical teaching and definitely regressed from the love and truth called for in the Gospel.

Embracing and standing upon the Biblical view of sexual behavior is to affirm the Bible’s inerrancy and its authority over believer’s lives regardless of what culture says.

Ultimately, it’s not about whether or not gays and lesbians are nice people or good citizens. Frankly, some are and some aren’t, just like heterosexuals. It’s not about whether gays and lesbians can be good, nurturing, loving parents. It’s not even about whether or not gays and lesbians should be treated with respect and dignity. Every person deserves to be treated with respect and dignity.

Pope suggests blessings for same-sex unions may be possible

Since marriage has now been redefined to include same-sex marriage, is there any logical reason for us not to redefine marriage in other ways?

There are those demanding equality that promote polygamy or group marriage. If marriage can be redefined to include two men or two women, why not allow marriage between a man and four women, or a group of six or seven adults and their various children?

Today, a popular error that has been made and continues to be made by many, is the attempt to blur the lines with regard to Christian ethics making “love” an omnipotent spiritual quality which has the power to validate anything that is done in its name. Under this particular line of thinking, one could justify any type of relationship, including those considered unacceptable and incompatible with Christian teaching and conduct.

Is the perceived or even real presence of love the criterion for all relationships? Indeed, God is love – absolutely. But true love has boundaries that protect, guide and show concern for its recipients.

Ultimately, showing support for, and more importantly, standing upon The Authority of Scripture “for marriage between one man and one woman” is not intolerant. If so, then nature itself would be intolerant. Marriage was established by God Himself and as a result cannot be redefined by each new generation.

Within the same-sex unions/marriage lesbian mothers are saying that a father is irrelevant to parenting; homosexual fathers say that a mother is irrelevant to parenting. But God says both a mother and a father are relevant to parenting. Is anyone truly serious in suggesting that two men can take the place of a mother’s love, or two women can equal a dad?

Today, especially in America, the words “intolerant” and “discrimination” are powerful words and often used to squash any opinion about moral behavior. In fact, not only is the demand today to keep our opinions to ourselves as to what people do, the equal demand is to affirm a long list of various lifestyles no matter how questionable or experimental.

Compassion, communication, and care must be exercised with regard to the same-sex unions/marriage. The enormous problem in American society is the frequent usage of our experience as a basis to interpret reality. Far too many think, I’m having this experience and enjoying it, so God Himself in particular and society as a whole had better jump on-board, get used to it and fit in around with what I’m doing.

Do we as a society really have the right to redefine unions/ marriage so it is elastic enough to include any grouping of adults?

In the face of what is arguably one of the most damaging social experiments to ever be attempted in this country, the notion of a family with a father, mother and children, all living under the same roof, appears to be becoming a relic of a bygone era, at least in some quarters.

Gay marriage advocates will tell you that what children really need is two loving adults in their lives and that the sex of those adults doesn’t matter – the assumption being that mothers and fathers are interchangeable and optional. Our ultimate preference should always be a family comprised of one father and one mother. We cannot, we must not wrest children from the God-given format of family relationship without considering the possibilities of serious consequences.

Biblically, love is defined not as license to legitimatize sinful behavior of any kind, but love helps us see that there is a better way.

Obviously, we must be as concerned about our own sins as we care about the sins of the LGBT community. We must be concerned enough to speak out about any action, heterosexual or homosexual, that violates God’s intended plan for marriage and the family.

Pastor Phillip Lee
Executive Director
His Way Out Ministries

His Way Out has been faithfully ministering to men and women seeking a way out of sexually broken lifestyles since 1994. We could not do it without the support of Christians like you. Every dollar that you give to His Way Out Ministries helps to further this vital ministry. Won’t you take a minute to prayerfully consider a monthly donation to His Way Out? Please consider making a one-time donation or set up a secure monthly PayPal contribution on our donation page at https://www.hiswayout.com/donate/. Thank you, Pastor Phillip Lee

In essence, we have become a culture who now worships itself as God, not only in mind and body, but also in destiny and purpose.

Many sanction this new “religion” through feeling and experience by pronouncing all truth to be relative.

We are a people driven, controlled and consumed by our feelings.

Very often, truth becomes established according to our experiences. Self-obsession and rebellion against the rule of God has blinded many.

Faithful followers of Christ Jesus are commanded to “come out from among these rebellious people” (2 Corinthians 6:17-18).

Believe it or not, we do not have to respond to every feeling or emotion that comes along. Experience must always be subservient to the principles outlined in God’s Word.

Often, very often, after our radio broadcast, or content offered and posted to our web site or Facebook, the His Way Out Ministries office phone rings off the hook. Members of the LGBT community (if not gay activists) call to log their displeasure regarding the content of our articles, broadcasts, and more specifically the message and position of His Way Out Ministries.

Frequently, calls began with, “I’m a Christian. I go to church.”

Admittedly, each incoming call takes a bit for me to finally jump in and offer a reply (if you know what I mean?).

Seizing the moment to jump in between the caller’s last statement and taking a breath, I ask, “Can you offer a Scripture which clearly defines homosexual practice as being OK with God?”

Each time, the immediate response has been and continues to be, “No, there are none!” My reply?

“Did you hear what you just said?”

I have been very fortunate to have met many men and women who have emerged from homosexuality. When I view and consider the personal difficulties they have had to face, the incredible courage they have displayed not only in facing many difficulties but also in confronting a culture that too often uses every opportunity to deny the validity of their values, goals and experiences, I stand back in awe.

In my opinion, it is these men and women, former homosexuals and those still struggling, who present a model of everything good and possible in Christ Jesus.

Today, the battle that rages, is not over just a person’s sexuality, but rather over which spirit will claim that person’s allegiance. There is no doubt, the cultural and political battle over homosexuality has become in many respects the defining moment for our society.

The more important aspect of this battle is not the political one; it is the one for the individual human soul.

“Love, and the unity it attests to, is the mark Christ gave to Christians to wear before the world. Only with this mark may the world know that Christians are indeed Christians, and that Jesus was sent by the Father.” – Francis Schaeffer

By speaking truth, you can impact and change the future for many.

Be a professing Christian who adheres to and applies the truths of Scripture to our world as never before.

Pastor Phillip Lee
Executive Director
His Way Out Ministries

His Way Out has been faithfully ministering to men and women seeking a way out of sexually broken lifestyles since 1994. We could not do it without the support of Christians like you. Every dollar that you give to His Way Out Ministries helps to further this vital ministry. Won’t you take a minute to prayerfully consider a monthly donation to His Way Out? Please consider making a one-time donation or set up a secure monthly PayPal contribution on our donation page at https://www.hiswayout.com/donate/. Thank you, Pastor Phillip Lee

Whether the confession comes from a son or daughter, spouse or close friend, the admission of homosexuality hits like a bombshell, especially in Christian homes.

Instantaneously, life seems completely out of control. You are now headed in a direction you never, ever thought you would be going.

Without fail, a week does not pass without my receiving at least one phone call or email expressing, “Well, I sure didn’t think I would ever be faced with this!”

The majority of calls and emails come from pastors and parents due to a child’s or congregation member’s confession of same-sex attraction. Homosexuality always seems to be someone else’s problem until it knocks on your front door.

How well I remember having to make my own personal declaration to my mother. While my confession occurred many, many years ago, I recall, vividly, having to pick my mother up from the kitchen floor. The ironic truth is that while I felt an immediate sense of relief that “the problem” was now out, my parents, friends, and family members were instantly projected into a state of fear, bewilderment and consumed by a myriad of emotions.

Once the initial impact has subsided a bit, while Christian families know God is the answer, it still takes a long time for them to wrap their mind around how to engage God in what they perceive as needing to be done. Make no mistake, when someone we know confesses their same-sex attraction, many Christians struggle with how to maintain a Christ-like manner and position.

Every individual that awakens to their issue of same-sex attraction has already been through quite a heart-wrenching process and therefore it really doesn’t matter whether the individual has embraced the gay identity or is still combating and resisting temptation as well as seeking freedom from same-sex attraction. Often, very often, parents in particular will respond to the crisis by focusing on their own pain and deep sense of loss forgetting the individual plagued by same-sex attraction has already experienced a huge amount of pain and loss.

Speaking from experience, having waded through years of healing, discipleship, study, and surrender (at times, daily), when homosexuality hit my family, as it has a multitude of others, it brought pain, indescribable pain, and misunderstanding along with it. Largely, because (way back then), no one knew anything about the behavior. Frankly, about the only comment anyone offered was, “It’s wrong!”

Today, just like then, “that’s not good enough and completely unacceptable.”

Not long ago, a Christian friend and mother I have known for many years wrote me and once again uttered the expression I have heard so many times during the 25 years of His Way Out Ministries, “I never thought I would be contacting you with a problem of homosexuality in my family.”

The mother was understandably shattered. Initially, while the mother did respond and react appropriately standing upon the right Scriptures, the son responded with a very interesting and revealing remark.

He said, “Mom, you keep telling me how hard this is for you to hear and deal with. Don’t you realize how hard it has been for me these many, many years, being raised in a Christian home and knowing that once this got out it would kill you? Ultimately, I had to make a decision that I knew nobody would be happy with. Please consider and realize that I have my own demons to fight.”

Frankly, there is a great deal of truth in the son’s comments. Whether we agree or not with the son’s ultimate decision or conclusion that he is gay and entitled to act upon his feelings and desires (which I certainly do not), we must admit that he was right in saying he had reached his conclusion after going through quite an intense struggle on his own. It is very important to remember within the evolvement of same-sex attraction that homosexual tendencies are discovered but the gay identity is ultimately embraced. And, there is a considerable difference between the two.

When any individual discloses their battle with same-sex attraction, their confession enables an intriguing and powerful opportunity to the family and really to anyone that becomes aware. Can I truly continue to love him for who he is and not for what he does?

As a Christ-follower, if we are becoming effective in not putting unrealistic expectations on ‘anyone,’ we are in line to accept them for who they are, not for what we wish they were. It is God’s part to give those that struggle with same-sex attraction abhorrence for the behavior – an abhorrence that will bring them to a place of complete surrender to the sovereignty of God in their lives and a desire to change.

While there are no specific verses in the Bible telling us under what circumstances, if any, we should adopt this or that policy toward a homosexual loved one, let’s consider a few specific communications that need to be offered with the hope and endeavor of keeping the lines of communication open.

What the Bible says and why you disapprove of homosexuality every time you are with your child, friend, co-worker, etc., is not necessary to state. However, do make sure the individual knows the following:

• You understand that he/she did not ask for these feelings.
• You appreciate their honesty and transparency in disclosing their issue with same-sex attraction.
• Your belief regarding homosexual practice as sin is not going to change.
• You want to protect your relationship through mutual respect and understanding.
• While you may never agree on the subject of homosexuality, you are committed to not letting that disagreement ruin your relationship.

As faithful followers of Christ Jesus, we must never affirm homosexual practice. But we can at least affirm the fact that the individual struggling with same-sex attraction has tried to be honest with us and has taken quite a risk in telling us, knowing it is not what we wanted to hear.

How well I remember disclosing my own battle with same-sex attraction and giving my family every reason to write me off. Frankly, there was no reason for my family to ever think I would repent and turn completely away from homosexuality.

Thankfully, sometimes when God calls us to release a family member or friend through a prayer of relinquishment, that doesn’t mean He is releasing them as well.

God is saying: “Do all you can do, continue to love them and wait.” Indeed, dealing with the discovery that someone you love has same-sex attraction issues is a difficult stewardship. But the God who gave us this stewardship has also equipped us to handle it and maintain a Christ-like attitude.

“For whatever things were written before were written for our learning, that we through the patience and comfort of the Scriptures might have hope.” (Romans 15:4)

Pastor Phillip Lee
Executive Director
His Way Out Ministries

His Way Out has been faithfully ministering to men and women seeking a way out of sexually broken lifestyles since 1994. We could not do it without the support of Christians like you. Every dollar that you give to His Way Out Ministries helps to further this vital ministry. Won’t you take a minute to prayerfully consider a monthly donation to His Way Out? Please consider making a one-time donation or set up a secure monthly PayPal contribution on our donation page at https://www.hiswayout.com/donate/. Thank you, Pastor Phillip Lee

Today, anyone who believes in upholding and protecting the Lordship of Christ and the Authority of Scripture, especially its relevance to social issues, as well as offering a defense for sound doctrine will most assuredly find himself in an intense battle.

Articulating Biblical precepts can get you fired, canceled, censored, and possibly even jailed. The demand for dedicated faithful followers of Christ Jesus to be silent is growing.

However, we must never be ashamed of the gospel – and we are told to proclaim its precepts.

If the Christian community is ever to meet the challenge of the relentless pro-gay assault upon the Church and God’s Word, it is essential and imperative the Church recover its purpose and proper place by preaching and teaching the entirety of Scripture as it applies to all of life – which includes the realm of sexual ethics and morals.

For faithful followers of Christ Jesus, following the teachings of Christ and being purposed to reach men and women struggling with same-gender attraction may inflict a tremendous personal challenge, if not a very high price.

However, if we are truly in love with Jesus, our willingness and obedience to go in His Name does not really cost us anything, it is a joy. But it just might cost those who do not know Him or refuse to follow Him a great deal.

Over and over again, I have found that teaching and testifying about a God that saves and delivers from the snare of homosexuality causes many people to have their plans for life upset. The world and its effects have worn away the faith of many. While it is continued to be taught and preached that God can do the impossible, do we still believe that?

When it comes to the issue of homosexuality, the Church has become fractured and viewpoints can differ from church to church, denomination to denomination, and believer to believer.

While some say, “God created some men and women homosexual; acting out sexually doesn’t matter, you are saved by faith and not works; homosexuals were created to be lost; God accepts you where you are and no change is necessary,” each and every one of these misguided false statements flies in the face of the Gospel of Jesus Christ.

I have even tragically heard it said, “the very best a homosexual can hope for is celibacy,” when it comes to change. Is it any wonder the man or woman struggling with homosexuality is often completely confused about the Christian viewpoint? Too often, the individual trying to follow and be obedient to the full Gospel of Christ encounters someone who is there to tell him he doesn’t have to change his life, just change churches. It is far easier to change churches than it is to be obedient and change your attitude and behavior.

As a Christian, I must be obedient and involved in the full purposes of God which will often cause many to be offended. However, being obedient to Jesus never brings dishonor to Him. The only thing that dishonors Him is not obeying Him.

I believe an appropriate question for the Church today regarding homosexuality and related issues is, “Am I being loyal to the notions of Jesus, or loyal to Him?”

Are we, His Church, remaining loyal to what He has clearly stated in His Word regarding homosexuality, or are we trying to find compromises with conceptions that never came from Him?

Helping a man or woman to come out of homosexuality takes a tremendous amount of effort. Frankly, it is much, much easier to say that it simply can’t be done than to embark on a journey that may last for a very long time. Tragically, many have counted the cost and ultimately made the decision that it simply wasn’t worth the effort. However, that never has, nor will it ever minimize God’s power or His sovereignty.

Yes, God is more than able to change our life, but He requires our obedience and participation. Unfortunately, we live in a world today that seeks, if not demands, a simple and natural explanation for just about everything. Anytime we look to the world for definitive answers, we place ourselves on shifting sand.

When a person who was once controlled by his sin is now free from that sin and engaged in a new kind of life pattern, hasn’t change occurred?

Oswald Chambers states in My Utmost for His Highest, “A man is a slave for obeying unless behind his obedience there is recognition of a holy God.” I find it remarkable that God never insists on our obedience, but when we truly know Him, we want to instantly obey Him and live according to His perfect will from sunup to sundown.

Indeed, obedience is much better than sacrifice. However, the wonderful hymn, “I Surrender All,” does not seem to be at the top of the charts today. Today, like never before, God desires that all men and women surrender their sexuality to Him. When anyone is obedient and fully surrenders their life to Him, which includes their sexuality, life will take on new meaning, purpose and a relationship with God, that many never thought possible, will become a reality. Why? Because God always blesses obedience.

“I tell you the truth unless a kernel of wheat falls to the ground and dies, it remains only a single seed. But if it dies, it produces many seeds. The man who loves his life will lose it, while the man who hates his life in this world will keep it for eternal life.” (John 12:24-25 NIV)

Today, there remains a remnant being used of God to bring repentance and restoration to men and women with unwanted same-sex attraction. Personally, I continue to hope and pray their example will bring repentance and restoration to the Church of Jesus Christ.

Holiness, godliness, and spiritual discipline should be, must be the distinctive marks of the true Church. Jesus prayed that His people be kept in truth: “Sanctify them by Your truth. Your word is truth.” (John 17:17)

Compromising God’s Word, His Truth, or withholding His Truth only leads to greater unity with the world and not His Church.

As Christians, may we never forget that while our obedience to the Great Commission may cost us personally, the good news of spiritual deliverance through Jesus Christ remains an important and vital resource that Christians must share.

On God’s truth is where a Christian, the Church must stand.

Pastor Phillip Lee
Executive Director
His Way Out Ministries

His Way Out has been faithfully ministering to men and women seeking a way out of sexually broken lifestyles since 1994. We could not do it without the support of Christians like you. Every dollar that you give to His Way Out Ministries helps to further this vital ministry. Won’t you take a minute to prayerfully consider a monthly donation to His Way Out? Please consider making a one-time donation or set up a secure monthly PayPal contribution on our donation page at https://www.hiswayout.com/donate/. Thank you, Pastor Phillip Lee

“I refuse to insult God and grieve the Holy Spirit by my ‘just going to church.’”

What I am about to share is largely due, though not entirely, to the following conversation with a gay activist.

Gay-activist: We have liberals, the press, and society on our side. You have neither the faith nor the strength to fight us, so you might as well just surrender now. We have no intention of stopping until every Christian is discredited and silenced.

Me: Careful. You are messing with the wrong Christian.

Gay-activist: Whoa! Didn’t Jesus tell you to turn the other cheek?

Me: Yes, He did. However, when it comes down to fighting for lost souls, standing in the gap and speaking the truth about sexual sin, I will not cower in the face of homosexual intimidation. I will endure your harsh rhetoric, insults, and threats but I will not sidestep either truth or grace, being purposed to speak clear truth about this issue and extend grace toward every person – yourself included.

Did you know if you believe that homosexual practice is a sin and what many refer to as the gay lifestyle falls far short of God’s perfect intent for any man or woman in this world, you are an extremist?

There is no question, no doubt the world has changed and right along with those that have changed are – churches (places where people gather). Not, The Church, The Body of Christ – but churches.

Regrettably and tragically, many have become scared speechless and have surrendered to culture because they refuse, and are afraid, of looking at things from God’s standpoint.

The LGBTQ+ agenda is a fundamental issue that no one can afford to ignore. Today liberal judges and courts are making decisions solely based on the shifting moral sands and ever changing winds of society and our culture.

This is the kind of activist and activism the Apostle warned us about…

“They mouth empty, boastful words and, by appealing to lustful desires of sinful human nature, they entice people who are just escaping from those who live in error. They promise them freedom, while they themselves are slaves of depravity – for a man is a slave to whatever has mastered him” (2 Peter 2:18-19).

Admittedly, there is great division over the issue of homosexual practice which exists in our families, churches, and in our nation. And it is growing.

The Bible is abundantly clear in telling us that God is both unchanging and unmovable. He does not have to tune-in to check a poll on CNN or Fox News to see what He ought to consider righteous behavior for this week. Sir, Madam, just because you have changed does not mean that God has as well.

There are actually those that are sitting around wringing their hands and thinking, “This gay thing is just a lost cause.” Nonsense, it is not. Clearly, those in the “let’s wring our hands” do not know God. They may have a head knowledge of Him but they do not know Him.

So, what should we do? We have no time to lose.

“The people who know their God will be strong and take action” (Daniel 11:32).

Frankly, we do not need to pray and ask God for new strategies. We need to act upon, if not return to, and do what we know we should have been doing all along.

1. First and foremost, we need to repent and ask God to forgive us for our rebellion and disobedience.

2. Pray, intercede for the soul of America like we’ve never prayed before.

3. Get educated. There is no excuse for not applying the truth of Scripture to this issue and to the lives of those with whom you come into contact.

4. Find your voice. Many are hearing more from the gay lobby than they are the Body of Christ.

“Come to church, come to church, come to church!” “Go to church, go to church, go to church!”

How about, “BE THE CHURCH!”

Somewhere along the line we lost our Biblical footing, and we abdicated our authority – the Word of God. Take it back!

Today, right now…

*Pray, “Oh God, revive Your church!”

*Renew your commitment to Biblical authority.

*God created male and female. Return to what God has stated it was in the beginning.

*Recommit to authentic, Biblical marriage.

*Recommit and reconnect to Biblical morality.

*Go with God’s Word in the power of God’s Spirit – speak up, stand up for what is right!

Our fight is not against flesh and blood, but Satan and his degenerate, degrading ways. If we do not fight individually and collectively, we will lose our culture. God is counting on US.

I have not done God a big favor simply because I showed up for church.

Pastor Phillip Lee
Executive Director
His Way Out Ministries

His Way Out has been faithfully ministering to men and women seeking a way out of sexually broken lifestyles since 1994. We could not do it without the support of Christians like you. Every dollar that you give to His Way Out Ministries helps to further this vital ministry. Won’t you take a minute to prayerfully consider a monthly donation to His Way Out? Please consider making a one-time donation or set up a secure monthly PayPal contribution on our donation page at https://www.hiswayout.com/donate/. Thank you, Pastor Phillip Lee

God says we must love our enemies (Matthew 5:43-48).

It’s hard to do sometimes.

But it can start by telling the truth.

You and I may possibly believe in truth, God’s absolute truth, but how can His truth be honored if we do not speak or act upon it?

As a Christian, I must be obedient and involved in the full purposes of God which will often cause many to be offended. However, being obedient to Jesus never brings dishonor to Him. The only thing that dishonors Him is not obeying Him.

I believe an appropriate question for the Church today regarding homosexuality and related issues is, “Am I being loyal to the notions of Jesus, or loyal to Him?” Are we, His Church, remaining loyal to what He has clearly stated in His Word regarding homosexuality, or are we trying to find compromises with conceptions that never came from Him?

There is no question that homosexuality has become perhaps the most controversial social issue of our time. While that is certainly important, true, and relevant, there is a far greater issue, crisis, and concern at hand.

Frankly, homosexuality should never have been, nor should it now be the primary concern of the Church. What has been unfolding for decades and what continues today, mostly unchallenged, is a rejection of God and a suppressing of His truth, His absolute truth, in favor of being wise in our own eyes.

As a result, herein lies the dilemma for many today, “Will I reject God’s absolute truth, the authority of His Word, or will I by the power of the Holy Spirit surrender and conform my life to the Word of God?”

In a time when far too many lives and our culture are being shaped by political correctness and moral cowardice, the time is long overdue for faithful followers of Christ Jesus to stand unwaveringly on God’s absolute truth.

Is it not abundantly clear that we, God’s people, are standing front and center of one of the greatest crossroads the Church has ever faced?

Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. once said, “A man dies when he refuses to stand up for what is right; a man dies when he refuses to stand up for justice; a man dies when he refuses to take a stand for that which is true.”

We are treading on terribly treacherous turf.

Ultimately, I am satisfied God’s truth, His absolute truth, will always “be” whether you and I or anyone else believes it or likes it. 1 Corinthians 13:6 says, “Love does not rejoice in unrighteousness, but rather rejoices with truth.”

Personally, I cannot come to any other conclusion other than “love, pure, true, undefiled love supports absolute truth.”

Christ-follower, we must challenge our culture with God’s absolute truth because feelings, personal opinions, theories, notions, and ideas have consequences.

Today, many are finding God’s absolute truth much too threatening. Understandably so, because when you love sin, it is impossible to love God’s absolute truth.

Pastor Phillip Lee
Executive Director
His Way Out Ministries

His Way Out has been faithfully ministering to men and women seeking a way out of sexually broken lifestyles since 1994. We could not do it without the support of Christians like you. Every dollar that you give to His Way Out Ministries helps to further this vital ministry. Won’t you take a minute to prayerfully consider a monthly donation to His Way Out? Please consider making a one-time donation or set up a secure monthly PayPal contribution on our donation page at https://www.hiswayout.com/donate/. Thank you, Pastor Phillip Lee

The month of June is now celebrated by many individuals and churches that affirm and cheer on LGBTQ Pride.

But what if the LGBTQ life hasn’t been or is now a season of pride or the party for some of our neighbors, loved ones, or ourselves – that the world says it is?

Personally speaking, it is not (pride) I remember and experience that in some respects continues to haunt me even today.

There are some life realities gay pride could not even begin to heal. Completely and totally by God’s grace, I have survived homosexuality.

While those words correctly define my personal reality regarding homosexual practice, my friends did not survive.

Phillip Lee

If you are experiencing same-sex attraction and are considering embracing the feelings and attractions of such, before jumping into a behavior and identity with highly probable and serious consequences, please get the facts – all the facts.

Sexual pleasure, good in and of itself within the proper context, is nevertheless not an essential requirement for human well-being.

Today, there is no guarantee that social policy is exempt from foolishness. Ultimately, the social pressure that exists to protect “gay” from discrimination has resulted in a tragically dangerous code.

While I personally deplore any and all forms of “gay-bashing” and other hate crimes against homosexuals, the extreme medical risks and the fundamental psychological problems often associated with homosexual practice, cannot be undermined or dismissed.

Today, in America, very little is being offered which promotes the truth about homosexuality and the general public has and is slowly but certainly beginning to believe the many untruths with regard to the topic of homosexuality. This did not happen by accident.

In December 1973, by a narrow vote, homosexuality was removed from the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorder (DSM) by the American Psychiatric Association. The vote was not based on scientific research but on political pressure from homosexual activists. So much for an individual’s right of self-determination to address their unwanted homosexual feelings and behavior. In a nutshell, the problem is the politicization of psychiatry, psychology, and most definitely, the Bible, to the extent that the freedom to investigate and treat homosexuality has been and continues to be under serious attack.

For some of us, World AIDS Day is not just on December 1st of each year, but rather each and every day of the year.

The phone conversation occurred in 1995. Frank, my very best and only surviving friend of a group of 22 men, called from the hospital in San Francisco. Immediately, I knew something was very wrong.

In 1985, I moved from San Francisco back to Bakersfield, when in October of that year I surrendered my life to Christ and everything got turned upside-down – actually, right-side up.

There was nothing short of a miraculous desire to get to church and remain in church. The only thing I wanted to read was the Bible, attend classes and always be among Christian men and women, worship, and talk, talk, talk, talk, about Jesus.

Occasionally, I would talk to Frank on the phone to check on how life was going. However, our conversations became more and more strained because all I wanted to talk about was the Bible and what was going on at church. Frank, on the other hand, wanted to talk about the party last night and all that went on.

Drifting apart we most definitely were but continued to maintain a long-distance connection if only to hear one another’s voice for a few seconds. We had been close good friends for many years in San Francisco.

One afternoon I received a phone call at work from Frank. His voice was extremely weak, but he still managed to say…

“Phillip, we don’t understand what has happened to you, but you have found something, and whatever it is, keep it up. Keep it up because you have found something. Do it for me and the others. Whatever you do don’t ever come back to this. Promise me, Phillip.”

“I promise, Frank.”

Two days after my last phone conversation with Frank, his mother called to tell me he had passed away.

So, so many are gone, and they left much too soon. I miss each of my friends. I miss them terribly.

Thirty-eight years ago I made a promise. A promise I have kept, and I intend to keep.

During my 17 years as ‘gay,’ I personally witnessed far too many lives devastated and some taking their own lives over the celebration of ‘gay.’ In each and every case the ruin and carnage were not brought about by the individual trying to resolve their same-gender attraction.

Personally speaking, it is a fact because of very real discrimination, homosexual activists created a brilliant strategic plan to gain across-the-board acceptance. Yet their plan was and is based upon a flawed paradigm to persuade people they were born with same-gender attraction and they cannot change. This strategy has worked. But the biggest losers just may be homosexual men and women who may get everything they think they want, but will they be denied what they truly need?

The welfare of both individuals and society as a whole depends upon our facing reality honestly, compassionately, and courageously – which requires facts – all the facts.

Pastor Phillip Lee
Executive Director
His Way Out Ministries

His Way Out has been faithfully ministering to men and women seeking a way out of sexually broken lifestyles since 1994. We could not do it without the support of Christians like you. Every dollar that you give to His Way Out Ministries helps to further this vital ministry. Won’t you take a minute to prayerfully consider a monthly donation to His Way Out? Please consider making a one-time donation or set up a secure monthly PayPal contribution on our donation page at https://www.hiswayout.com/donate/. Thank you, Pastor Phillip Lee