Feed on
Posts
Comments

First and foremost, let’s put even this crisis in its proper context. Embrace the promise of Romans 8:28 that God makes everything – even calamities – work for our good. Admittedly, it is often very excruciating to wait for the ‘good’ to work. I mean, when it seems that everything is literally coming apart at the seams, it’s hard to consider if anything good will really come out of misery.

  • My first encouragement is to learn as much as you can about the causes of homosexuality. Simply knowing it is wrong is not even close to being enough.
  • Don’t run the matter into the ground every time you see your son or daughter. Often, there can be a good reason(s) for not dealing with a problem right now.
  • Do everything you can to keep the lines of communication open and maintain your relationship. If you feel you have been batting your head against the wall seeking resolution of ‘the problem,’ take a rest. It may not be God’s time to deal with the issue.
  • Make sure your son or daughter is aware of your belief and position regarding homosexual practice. Heaven knows, God can deal with and use our mistakes but He cannot deal with our inaction. Be clear and precise.
  • Do not argue about homosexuality. The very moment the conversation erupts into anger – drop it! Badgering will only produce pushing the individual in the wrong direction. Many problems and issues in life are often solved very indirectly; not when we are consciously dealing with them, but when we are going about our normal lives.
  • It is imperative to distinguish between “acceptance and approval.” It is important to separate, both in our own minds and to our loved ones, their individual worth from the acts of homosexuality they may be committing.
  • Stay completely away from Christian cliches such as: “God created Adam and Eve, not Adam and Steve,” and “Love the sinner but hate the sin.” Christian cliches only reinforce the belief of many with same-sex attraction that the Christian community is unwilling to truly educate themselves on the complexities of same-sex attraction.
  • Do not hesitate to admit when and where the Church has been wrong with regard to men and women with same-sex attraction. We, the Church, have made mistakes and in some cases owe the gay community an apology.
  • Refrain from attacking the character of homosexuals when discussing homosexuality. Keep to the real issue: “The real issue is whether or not homosexual practice is, in and of itself, moral.”
  • Do not be discouraged if your conversations do not produce instant fruit. What we will answer to God for is speaking truth lovingly and plainly – not for how our loved one responds.
  • Be relentless in looking for every opportunity to share it is a personal relationship with Jesus Christ and the indwelling presence of His Spirit which is the foundation needed to overcome same-sex attraction.
  • Release control. Let God decide how to bring freedom. God is the only One who can bring about change in the homosexual.
  • Let the son, daughter, and everyone know that God has a reputation for transforming trapped people with damaged sexualities. “And such were some of you” applies to all Christians who had formerly participated in homosexuality. (1 Corinthians 6:9-11)
  • And, remember, those entangled in sin, of course, will have weak faith, so be merciful to those who doubt. (Jude 22)

Somewhere I read, “Hope is not the conviction that something will turn out well, but the certainty that something makes sense, regardless of how it turns out.”

When Jesus Christ is “there,” life has infinite possibilities.

Pastor Phillip Lee

His Way Out Ministries Podcasts are dedicated to equipping, educating and encouraging the Body of Christ to reach out and minister to individuals, families, and churches impacted by the brokenness of same-sex attraction.

Our second broadcast is titled “The Myths of Homosexuality” which covers questions like: Is homosexuality the worst of all sins; is homosexuality nothing more than just a choice; is homosexuality genetic; will marriage or dating fix the problem of same-sex attraction; and does tolerance mean approving of however anyone lives?

Listen online or download the podcast.

The Myths of Homosexuality with Pastor Phillip Lee – Download MP3 –

I would change the wording on the image below to, “Oh what we CAN be…” instead of, “Oh what we COULD be…”

For all Christians, there is an on-going struggle between the flesh and spirit that is often a daily reality.

Therefore, which of these two natures is the real me? More specifically, what does this inner conflict mean for the person leaving homosexuality?

For every Christian, overcoming his or her past – whether it is homosexuality or some other life-dominating struggle – is an on-going process of spiritual growth. In some respects, it never ends. The transformation of anyone struggling with same-sex attraction is a maturing experience similar to that of any believer. The journey out of the brokenness of same-sex attraction is not unique at all. It just has different twists and turns along the way from that of the average heterosexual seeking healing from his or her past.

Without a doubt, stopping homosexual acting out is a significant, important first step. But what then? One of the deepest root issues that every man and woman must change in order to experience freedom from his or her homosexual background is change in thoughts and identity.

Identity – the core sense of who we are – is the probably the deepest and most difficult area to experience change. This is where Scripture can have its most powerful effect. Am I defined by my feelings or by whom God says I am?

Every former homosexual that I have met has repeatedly told me that the reason they have been successful in abandoning homosexuality has been solely due to obedience to God’s Word. Changing their same-gender attraction was a side effect of a much larger goal: being conformed to the image of Jesus Christ.

Many men and women have found homosexuality to be ultimately disappointing and less than totally fulfilling. Many have sensed that there is something more available, and they want it. However, seeking a ‘straight lifestyle’ is a flawed and misdirected motive for coming out of homosexuality. The ultimate goal and focus should be seeking and reaching spiritual maturity, and not just experiencing a certain sexual orientation.

There is evidence for change from homosexuality right in the New Testament church. In speaking to the Corinthian believers, the Apostle Paul said that some of them had been involved in various sinful lifestyles, including homosexuality. But then he declared, “And that is what some of you were. But you were washed, you were sanctified, you were justified in the Name of the Lord Jesus Christ and by the spirit of our God.” (1 Corinthians 6:11)

Coming out of homosexuality is not a new phenomenon. It has been occurring in the Church since the days of first-century church – if not before. The message of hope for overcoming same-gender attraction has been declared for centuries. With that in mind, I hope you will find the following testimonies encouraging and thought-provoking. To God be the glory!

“I am amazed at the change in me. Other people see it as well. Yes, I still experience temptation from time to time, but I now have the strength and the desire to turn away from it. I am so filled with compassion to help others who have the same issue of same-sex attraction that I can’t explain it. I know that it is the Holy Spirit at work in me. I know that I am just a babe in Christ and that I must grow in knowledge and maturity. I wait patiently for the time to come when God calls me to help. I pray daily He will use me to help others. I want to thank you so much for His Way Out Ministries. It is a truly needed ministry in this world. I wish the Church would face this issue more directly and speak of it openly and remove the stigma it has associated with it. I just feel like so many people could be helped more easily. May God bless your ministry.” Mike

“It was truly God’s plan and blessing that His Way Out Ministries was here in Bakersfield, California just when I needed healing and restoration. You devoted an enormous amount of time, love and understanding to me and I appreciate it and still do appreciate it. You made a positive impact not only on my life but the life of my wife and children. When we all see each other in Glory, you will be able to see how many generations you affected. I praise God for His Way Out Ministries. Please, please, please never be disheartened or discouraged. You are a conduit of God’s love.” Jim

“I asked Jesus to fully invade my heart and rescue me. I would love to tell you that there was an immediate surge of electricity throughout my body or there was a mighty gush of the Holy Spirit upon me, but that is not how God worked with me. That said, there was an undeniable peace in my heart. The events that followed are nothing short of miracles especially after all the bridges I had burned. I called my parents who helped me get into a Christian drug program in Vista, CA and after about four months of being sober, I began to become truly convicted of my same-sex attraction. My mom, a seasoned prayer warrior, had been in prayer all these years and hunting down any and all ministries for those who struggle with same-sex attraction. She began sending me articles and newsletters from Pastor Lee and His Way Out Ministries with the content just making sense. Finally, I wasn’t alone and I began to see and understand my true struggle wasn’t my drug abuse. For the past eight years, I have been rebuilding my life and learning how to have a relationship with God. It hasn’t been without its trials or its joys. Ultimately, you do not have to surrender to a lie. You have to surrender to God.” Kenny

Ministering to men, women and their families is a joyous opportunity to share in the comfort that Christ has given to all of us. It says in 2 Corinthians 1:3-5, “Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves have received from God. For just as the sufferings of Christ flow over into our lives, so also through Christ our comfort overflows.”

From All of Us at His Way Out Ministries…

To each of you who continually bless us by your encouragement, ministry participation, financial support, offerings, and prayers, we remain truly grateful. Bless you, for enabling us to reach around the world with the message of hope, healing, and transformation in Christ Jesus.

His Way Out Ministries Podcasts are dedicated to equipping, educating and encouraging the Body of Christ to reach out and minister to individuals, families, and churches impacted by the brokenness of same-sex attraction.

For many years, the crisis of truth we have faced and the on-going crisis is ultimately not about homosexuality. “The crisis” is the Lordship of Christ and the Authority of Scripture.

“I will praise your name for your loving kindness and your truth, for you have magnified your word above your name.” Psalm 138

Listen online or download the podcast.

Homosexuality: A Crisis of Truth with Pastor Phillip Lee – Download MP3 –

America continues what I believe is a radical social experiment, the redefining of marriage. Ultimately, it’s not about whether or not gays and lesbians are nice people or good citizens. Frankly, some are and some aren’t, just like heterosexuals. It’s not about whether gays and lesbians can be good, nurturing, loving parents. It’s not even about whether or not gays and lesbians should be treated with respect and dignity. Every person deserves to be treated with respect and dignity.

Since we have redefined marriage to include same-sex marriage, is there any logical reason for us not to redefine marriage in other ways? There are those that demand equality that promote polygamy or group marriage. If marriage can be redefined to include two men or two women, why not allow marriage between a man and four women, or a group of six or seven adults and their various children?

Today, a popular error that has been made and continues to be made by many, is the attempt to blur the lines with regard to Christian ethics making “love” an omnipotent spiritual quality which has the power to validate anything that is done in its name. Under this particular line of thinking, one could justify any type of relationship, including those considered unacceptable and incompatible with Christian teaching and conduct.

Is the perceived or even real presence of love the criterion for all relationships? Indeed, God is love – absolutely. But true love has boundaries that protect, guide and show concern for its recipients. Ultimately, showing support for, and more importantly, standing upon The Authority of Scripture “for marriage between one man and one woman” is not intolerant. If so, then nature itself would be intolerant. Marriage was established by God Himself and as a result, cannot be redefined by each new generation.

Within the same-sex marriage experiment, lesbian mothers are saying that a father is irrelevant to parenting; homosexual fathers say that a mother is irrelevant to parenting. But God says both a mother and a father are relevant to parenting. Is anyone truly serious in suggesting that two men can take the place of a mother’s love, or two women can equal a dad?

Today, especially in America, the words “intolerant” and “discrimination” are powerful words and often used to squash any opinion about moral behavior. In fact, not only is the demand today to keep our opinions to ourselves as to what people do, the equal demand is to affirm a long list of various lifestyles no matter how questionable or experimental.

Compassion, communication, and care must be exercised with regard to the same-sex marriage experiment. The enormous problem in American society is the frequent usage of our experience as a basis to interpret reality. Far too many think, I’m having this experience and enjoying it, so God Himself in particular and society as a whole had better jump on-board, get used to it and fit in around with what I’m doing. Do we as a society really have the right to redefine marriage so it is elastic enough to include any grouping of adults?

In the face of what is arguably one of the most damaging social experiments to ever be attempted in this country, the notion of a family with a father, mother, and children, all living under the same roof, appears to be becoming a relic of a bygone era, at least in some quarters.

Gay marriage advocates will tell you that what children really need is two loving adults in their lives and that the sex of those adults doesn’t matter – the assumption being that mothers and fathers are interchangeable and optional. Our ultimate preference should always be a family comprised of one father and one mother. We cannot, we must not wrest children from the God-given format of family relationship without considering the possibilities of serious consequences.

Admittedly, a society, a compassionate society should always come to the aid of motherless and fatherless families. That said, a compassionate society should never, ever, intentionally create motherless and fatherless families. And that’s exactly what the experiment of same-sex marriage does.

Pastor Phillip Lee
Executive Director
His Way Out Ministries

Part Two of The Myths of Homosexuality, presented at Olive Knoll’s Church of the Nazarene by Pastor Phillip Lee. If you missed part one, you can watch on Vimeo at https://vimeo.com/54642762.

Used by permission. ©His Way Out Ministries

The Myths of Homosexuality pt2 from Phillip Lee on Vimeo.

Part One of The Myths of Homosexuality, presented at Olive Knoll’s Church of the Nazarene by Pastor Phillip Lee. Part Two next Monday, or watch now on Vimeo at http://vimeo.com/54882099.

Used by permission. ©His Way Out Ministries

The Myths of Homosexuality pt1 from Phillip Lee on Vimeo.

First and foremost, let’s put even this crisis in its proper context. Embrace the promise of Romans 8:28 that God makes everything – even calamities – work for our good. Admittedly, it is often very excruciating to wait for the ‘good’ to work. I mean, when it seems that everything is literally coming apart at the seams, it’s hard to consider if anything good will really come out of misery.

• My first encouragement is to learn as much as you can about the causes of homosexuality. Simply knowing it is wrong is not even close to being enough.

• Don’t run the matter into the ground every time you see your son or daughter. Often, there can be a good reason(s) for not dealing with a problem right now.

• Do everything you can to keep the lines of communication open and maintain your relationship. If you feel you have been batting your head against the wall seeking resolution of ‘the problem,’ take a rest. It may not be God’s time to deal with the issue.

• Make sure your son or daughter is aware of your belief and position regarding homosexual practice. Heaven knows, God can deal with and use our mistakes but He cannot deal with our inaction. Be clear and precise.

• Do not argue about homosexuality. The very moment the conversation erupts into anger – drop it! Badgering will only produce pushing the individual in the wrong direction. Many problems and issues in life are often solved very indirectly; not when we are consciously dealing with them, but when we are going about our normal lives.

• It is imperative to distinguish between “acceptance and approval.” It is important to separate, both in our own minds and to our loved ones, their individual worth from the acts of homosexuality they may be committing.

• Stay completely away from Christian cliches such as: “God created Adam and Eve, not Adam and Steve,” and “Love the sinner but hate the sin.” Christian cliches only reinforce the belief of many with same-sex attraction that the Christian community is unwilling to truly educate themselves on the complexities of same-sex attraction.

• Do not hesitate to admit when and where the Church has been wrong with regard to men and women with same-sex attraction. We, the Church, have made mistakes and in some cases owe the gay community an apology.

• Refrain from attacking the character of homosexuals when discussing homosexuality. Keep to the real issue: “The real issue is whether or not homosexual practice is, in and of itself, moral.”

• Do not be discouraged if your conversations do not produce instant fruit. What we will answer to God for is speaking truth lovingly and plainly – not for how our loved one responds.

• Be relentless in looking for every opportunity to share it is a personal relationship with Jesus Christ and the indwelling presence of His Spirit which is the foundation needed to overcome same-sex attraction.

• Release control. Let God decide how to bring freedom. God is the only One who can bring about change in the homosexual.

• Let the son, daughter, and everyone know that God has a reputation for transforming trapped people with damaged sexualities. “And such were some of you” applies to all Christians who had formerly participated in homosexuality. (1 Corinthians 6:9-11)

• And, remember, those entangled in sin, of course, will have weak faith, so be merciful to those who doubt. (Jude 22)

Somewhere I read, “Hope is not the conviction that something will turn out well, but the certainty that something makes sense, regardless of how it turns out.” When Jesus Christ is “there,” life has infinite possibilities.

Check out “Home For The Holidays” for a few Do’s and Don’ts.

Pastor Phillip Lee

Part Two of A Biblical Response to Sexuality, presented at Olive Knoll’s Church of the Nazarene by Pastor Phillip Lee. If you missed part one, you can watch on Vimeo at https://vimeo.com/51603980.

Used by permission. ©His Way Out Ministries

A Biblical Response to Sexuality pt2 from Phillip Lee on Vimeo.

Nancy Schultz, a friend of many years, sent me this picture taken in 1985. While I do not know the exact date the picture was taken, I do know it wasn’t too long after surrendering my life to Christ Jesus.

We, (left) Nancy Schultz, my mother, Roma, me and Nancy’s dad, Bob.

We are standing in the church parking lot sharing a cup of fellowship. Yep, it was most definitely quite some time ago because I had dark hair!

Ah, yes, Church.

For years I have had a practice when speaking in a church or conference to eventually make my way to the back of sanctuary or auditorium, look toward the front and think to myself – “This is good. This is decent. This makes sense.”

The years I lived as a gay-identified man within the gay communities of Los Angeles, San Francisco, and New York City produced anything but a good, decent, and sense-filled life. The futility of homosexual practice enabled and produced a false self, a half-person, and left me with a perpetual question mark.

Ultimately, it was the Church that helped me to face reality honestly, compassionately and courageously. With time, a sense of value, a sense of being loved and accepted, and a sense of living a meaningful life produced the best value of all – human well-being.

Honesty requires I acknowledge there were times of moving into my new life, my new identity and a new community that was by no means easy. Thankfully and gratefully, within the process, I received an abundance of wise counsel, encouragement and support.

Today, if I allow myself to look back, I marvel at how easily I became consumed by and locked into a false identity not knowing and realizing I was hopelessly and endlessly searching for “me” in all the wrong places.

The Church that surrounded me treated me with dignity and respect while at the same time being abundantly clear in stating and showing me from Scripture that homosexual behavior is just one of the forms human fallenness can take with divine forgiveness and restoration available to all that surrender to the Lordship of Christ.

To this day, I remain grateful to the Church for helping me to distinguish between healthy and unhealthy desires. It is a fact that truth can hurt, if not cut deeply, before it heals. However, truth offered and presented compassionately is more than liberating. When truth becomes known, and acted upon, truth frees.

Yes, indeed, Church is good, decent, and makes sense. Where I came from made no sense whatsoever. Truth and reality dictate that until each person comes to grips with this central ethical question – whether and why anything is either right or wrong – they will wander needlessly, hopelessly, and God forbid, disastrously adrift.

To speak the truth in love is not to condemn the one to whom it is spoken. Truth is good, truth is decent, truth makes sense and will defend itself.

“Let love be without dissimulation…” (Romans 12:9).

I remain grateful the Church spoke truth to me.

Pastor Phillip Lee

Older Posts »