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A gay coworker is more offensive around me than others…

Jun 6th, 2012 by

Dear His Way Out Ministries…
I work with a guy that’s very ‘out’ about his being gay. I’ve noticed he’s quite a bit more offensive around me than he is with other coworkers. What’s this all about?

Hopefully you are just as ‘out’ about your Christianity as he is about his being gay. If so, he presumes your position on homosexuality. Fearing rejection from you (especially if this has been his experience from other Christians), he is becoming intentionally offensive to protect himself. Respond directly but gently pointing out that he doesn’t seem to act the same with you as with other coworkers. Ask him how you may have offended him unknowingly. This will show how much you value him as a person. If he offers a reply, you might be prepared to ask for forgiveness.

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Gay Comparison to Slavery?

May 21st, 2012 by

Dear Editor, Bakersfield Californian Newspaper – Community Voices

In response to the article “Lincoln’s anti-slavery ‘evolution’ has modern corollary” dated May 21, 2012.

Apart from the broader goal of legitimizing homosexuality, the alleged aim of all “gay rights” initiatives, is to protect homosexuals from discrimination based solely on their “sexual orientation.” Too often, “gay rights’ are presented and promoted as an issue of civil rights with the gay community likening themselves to African-Americans or other minorities who have suffered under discriminatory laws and social policies. Is such an argument and analogy really justified? Have homosexuals really been the object of prejudice and discrimination in the same way as African-Americans?

The color of one’ skin is not a matter of choice; that is genetically determined. However, homosexual behavior is not genetically determined. Therefore, it is one thing to say that we believe in civil rights for all regardless of one’s skin color. It is quite another matter to say that we believe in civil rights for all regardless of one’s behavior.

Homosexuals frequently speak of themselves as if their being “gay” is fundamental to who they are as persons and as a community. Ultimately, they are in effect defining themselves by their gayness. As a result they set themselves off as a separate class, a group needing, if not demanding, special attention and deference.

Are we as a society really being asked to connect and equate ‘civil rights’ and homosexual rights as the same? As a member of the gay community for 17 years, I was never denied the right to vote, own property, or attend the college or university of my choice. History clearly dictates and reflects that African-Americans cannot say the same. Therefore, comparing homosexual rights to the civil rights of African-Americans is shallow and ultimately insulting. Homosexuals, as a class, have not suffered discrimination as African-Americans.

The attempt to blur the lines that homosexual practice is clearly about morals by comparing a ‘behavior’ to an issue of civil rights is dishonest and misleading. A significant number of homosexuals do not suffer from economic or other key forms of discrimination as do African-Americans.

As citizens of the United States, homosexuals have all the afforded rights extended to every citizen. These fundamental rights include: the right to vote, the First Amendment rights of free speech, freedom of the press, freedom of assembly, freedom of petition, and freedom of religion.

Ultimately, there is no socially compelling reason to grant special status to homosexuals and there should be no comparison to the history and present day of African-Americans.

Pastor Phillip Lee
Executive Director
His Way Out Ministries

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The Caribbean – Guyana & Trinidad and Tobago!

May 20th, 2012 by

On June 6, 2012, Pastor Phillip will be returning to the Caribbean – specifically, Guyana and Trinidad and Tobago. His Way Out Ministries continues a ministry partnership with Operation Restoration (Guyana), Hospital Christian Fellowship and God’s Love Brings Transformation (Trinidad and Tobago) for the purpose and focus of raising awareness, educating, and encouraging the Body of Christ to minister to those with unwanted same-gender attraction. Numerous trainings, media events, sharing testimony in churches, and meetings with dignitaries of both nations have been scheduled.

His Way Out Ministries, Hospital Christian Fellowship, God’s Love Brings Transformation and Operation Restoration believes that all persons need the ministry of the Church in their struggle for sexual wholeness, and we commit ourselves to that end. We do not condone the practice of homosexuality and consider such incompatible with Christian teaching and conduct. We believe that through a personal relationship with Jesus Christ and the healing power of the Holy Spirit, often mediated by extended and competent ministry, prayer, and a caring Christian community, the sexually broken can experience transformation and restoration towards wholeness.

His Way Out Ministries, Hospital Christian Fellowship, Operation Restoration and God’s Love Brings Transformation repudiates any non-loving, prejudicial attitudes that deny Christ’s unconditional love for all people and declare such to be sin. Our ministry partnership offers and extends a compassionate Christian ministry for such persons.

Pastor Phillip will be in Guyana and Trinidad and Tobago beginning June 6th and ultimately returning to office on July 2nd.

UPDATE JUNE 1, 2012: Postponed

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My spouse just left me for a homosexual relationship.

May 15th, 2012 by

Dear His Way Out Ministries…
Help! My spouse just left me for a homosexual relationship.

When husbands or wives “come out,” the heterosexual spouse has lost the one person he or she would most hope to turn to. Feelings of isolation, betrayal, and grief are absolutely to be expected – and absolutely too weighty for anyone to carry alone. If your spouse has sworn you to secrecy or you’re trying to avoid embarrassment or shame, you must realize that wrestling with this by yourself is not an option. You must seek support. Your spouse would be selfish to make you promise confidentiality, and the secrecy could be very unhealthy for you. You need to revisit the promise with your spouse; let him or her know you need a sounding board – the compassion of another in whom you can confide. Thankfully, there is hope if you are in this situation. While homosexuality or sexual impurity in a marriage certainly produces a crisis, it may be that with the “secret” becoming known, the marriage has opportunity to survive.

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The Same-Sex Marriage “Experiment”

May 10th, 2012 by

Dear Editor, Bakersfield Californian Newspaper – Community Voices

Presently, America is undergoing what I believe is a radical social experiment, the redefining of marriage. Ultimately, it’’s not about whether or not gays and lesbians are nice people or good citizens. Frankly, some are and some aren’t, just like heterosexuals. It’’s not about whether gays and lesbians can be good, nurturing, loving parents. It’’s not even about whether or not gays and lesbians should be treated with respect and dignity. Every person deserves to be treated with respect and dignity.

If we redefine marriage to include same-sex marriage, is there any logical reason for us not to redefine marriage in other ways? There are those that are already “demanding” equality that promote polygamy or group marriage. If marriage can be redefined to include two men or two women, why not allow marriage between a man and four women, or a group of six or seven adults and their various children?

Today, a popular error that has been made and continues to be made by many, is the attempt to blur the lines with regard to Christian ethics making “love” an omnipotent spiritual quality which has the power to validate anything that is done in its name. Under this particular line of thinking, one could justify any type of relationship, including those considered unacceptable and incompatible with Christian teaching and conduct.

Is the perceived or even real presence of love the criterion for all relationships? Indeed, God is love – absolutely. But true love has boundaries that protect, guide and show concern for its recipients. Ultimately, showing support for, and more importantly, standing upon The Authority of Scripture “for marriage between one man and one woman” is not intolerant. If so, then nature itself would be intolerant. Marriage was established by God Himself and as a result cannot be redefined by each new generation.

Within the same-sex marriage ‘experiment,’ lesbian mothers are saying that a father is irrelevant to parenting; homosexual fathers say that a mother is irrelevant to parenting. But God says both a mother and a father are relevant to parenting. Is anyone truly serious in suggesting that two men can take the place of a mother’’s love, or two women can equal a dad?

Today, especially in America, the words “intolerant” and “discrimination” are powerful words and often used to squash any opinion about moral behavior. In fact, not only is the demand today to keep our opinions to ourselves as to what people do, the equal demand is to affirm a long list of various lifestyles no matter how questionable or experimental.

Compassion, communication, and care must be exercised with regard to the same-sex marriage experiment. The enormous problem in American society is the frequent usage of our experience as a basis to interpret reality. Far too many think, “I’m having this experience and enjoying it, so God Himself in particular and society as a whole had better jump on-board, get used to it and fit in around with what I’m doing.” Do we as a society really have the right to redefine marriage so it is elastic enough to include any grouping of adults?

In the face of what is arguably one of the most damaging social experiments to ever be attempted in this country, the notion of a family with a father, mother and children, all living under the same roof, appears to be becoming a relic of a bygone era, at least in some quarters.

Gay marriage advocates will tell you that what children really need is “two loving adults in their lives” and that the sex of those adults doesn’t matter – the assumption being that mothers and fathers are interchangeable and optional. Our ultimate preference should always be a family comprised of one father and one mother. We cannot, we must not wrest children from the God-given format of family relationship without considering the possibilities of serious consequences.

Admittedly, a society, a compassionate society should always come to the aid of motherless and fatherless families. That said, a compassionate society should never, ever, intentionally create motherless and fatherless families. And that’’s exactly what the experiment of same-sex marriage does.

Pastor Phillip Lee
Executive Director
His Way Out Ministries

UPDATE 2012.05.14: Published at Opinion > Community Voices > PHILLIP LEE: America’s radical same-sex marriage social experiment

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Recently, our son came out to us.

May 10th, 2012 by

Dear His Way Out Ministries…
Recently, our son came out to us. Most of our friends and church family do not know. We’ve asked him not to tell anyone. Is this right?

When a family is impacted by homosexuality, parents in particular often become riddled with guilt. This emotion in particular fuels a family’s efforts to remain silent and hide. While we certainly do not promote a family “shouting it from the housetop,” not seeking support, encouragement, and help from those around you, enables isolation which is extremely unhealthy. Allow the Body of Christ to minister to you and pray with you. Do let your child know whom you’ve told and when you’ve told them.

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New Office and Contact Information

May 5th, 2012 by

His Way Out Ministries
10700 Brimhall Road
Bakersfield, CA, USA 93312
Phone (661) 589-3136
Fax (661) 589-6210

Email | Website | Vimeo Channel

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Trinidad and Tobago Trip Report 2012.05

Apr 30th, 2012 by

Trinidad Tobago Map 01It’s difficult to know where to begin to bring you all up to speed with everything that transpired during my three weeks in Trinidad and Tobago. Each and every day without exception presented a new and high level opportunity to share about “ex-gay ministry” with the public at large, Christian leaders of various churches and denominations, and dignitaries of many departments of public service.

Frankly, I have never experienced anything quite like what unfolded in Trinidad and Tobago. It can be described as nothing short of astounding. God is good and there is no doubt He engineered the trip in its entirety.

It so happens that one afternoon, Dr. Judith Henry (Hospital Christian Fellowship) and I made a casual stop at Christian Radio Station 98.1 to pick up a CD. No sooner had we stepped inside the radio station than we were ushered from interview to interview to interview which culminated in my recording testimony and why I was in Trinidad and Tobago which became aired frequently all over Trinidad and Tobago. Needless to say, what God enabled at 98.1 greatly helped in promoting the educational seminars while pounding the air waves with, “Yes, freedom from homosexuality in Christ Jesus!”

A full-day training seminar at the San Fernando Open Bible Church was outstanding! With 65 persons in attendance, numerous pastors and Christian leaders from various churches and denominations received instruction and training on such topics as: Reaching Gay Youth, Understanding Homosexuality, The Myths of Homosexuality, and The Church and Homosexuality.

Dr. Judith Henry and Dr. David Jackson (Hospital Christian Fellowship) sensitized all those in attendance to the overwhelming need and reality that it is the Church’s responsibility and privilege to facilitate ex-gay ministry throughout Trinidad and Tobago; a message that was overwhelmingly well received. Maria Branford offered a remarkable presentation on understanding “gender,” and the developing crisis with regard to how “gender” is being redefined. I was completely unaware that a free-lance reporter was in attendance for the training. Ultimately, he asked if he could tape an interview to be presented to all of the local television stations in Trinidad and Tobago for viewing and distribution.

Following the training seminar, a “Jubilee Celebration,” the likes of which Trinidad and Tobago has never seen, occurred in a huge stadium with thousands of people coming from all over Trinidad and Tobago “just to worship God.” No preaching, no teaching – just “worship.” I was blessed beyond measure as I looked around at a sea of humanity and became consumed with one thought, “Yes, Lord, this is indeed how it should be.” I will sing of your love and justice; to you, O Lord, I will sing praise. (Psalm 101:1) And, wouldn’t you know it, the free-lance reporter spotted me out of thousands and handed me a DVD of the training seminar, fully packaged and presented.

For years Tobago has been called “The Isle of Robinson Crusoe,” the perfect tropical island that captivates its visitors. Tobago is home to the first protected rain forest in the western hemisphere and its waters teem with life. Add to this the warmth and friendliness of its people and its rich multi-cultural heritage and you have the capital of paradise. My two days in Tobago included meetings with a number of professional people and several pastors, a one-day training seminar, and an incredible meeting with the Chief Secretary of Tobago.

Thankfully and gratefully, a number of pastors expressed their desire to network with His Way Out Ministries for the purpose of educating and training members of their congregation with regard to ex-gay ministry. The full, one-day training seminar included individuals that attended for the express purpose of learning how to better reach and minister to the vast, enormous, and virtually untouched mission field called “the gay community.” From beginning to end, all seminar participants were fully engaged in the presentation and expressed many questions about homosexuality which enabled an upfront and personal format and setting. Ultimately, those in attendance had one final question, “When is the next training?”

Without a doubt, my meeting with the Chief Secretary was both a humbling and productive experience. I found it truly remarkable the Chief Secretary frequently expressed his belief that it is the Church’s responsibility and privilege to offer ministry to those with unwanted same-gender attraction. He emphasized, “The Church can and must do more to help individuals, families and churches impacted by homosexuality and related issues.” Ultimately, I found myself often thinking – we couldn’t be more on the same page. At the closing of our meeting, the Chief Secretary extended his hand and said, “The Lord bless you and please continue this vitally important work!”

One day, Dr. Judith Henry and I met for an hour and a half with the Ministry of Education Curriculum Director. We had the opportunity to share our concern that young impressionable minds, hearts and spirits within the public school system here in Trinidad and Tobago are not being shared the truth with regard to homosexuality. Presently, any and all information that
students are receiving about “gay” comes entirely from the media and, more specifically, American television. Got the picture? We left an abundance of literature with the Director and she seemed eager for continued dialog and the possibility of educating “teachers” on the complexities of homosexuality.

An evening meeting provided the privilege of meeting with the Leadership of TTACC (Trinidad and Tobago Association of Christian Counselors). Frankly, I think they “wanted to check out this guy named Phillip Lee and what does he teach?” Thankfully, our web site answered the overwhelming majority of their questions and we quickly moved into discussing and planning training events for approximately 400 counselors within their network. At this point, we are looking at the trainings to be held this coming October 2012 when I return to Trinidad and Tobago. Amazing!

Trinidad and Tobago is one of the most cosmopolitan countries in the world. Since the arrival of Amerindian tribes more than ten thousand years ago, this twin-island Caribbean nation has become a melting pot of different races, traditions, customs and religions. European colonizers and settlers from Africa, India, China and the Middle East, have all influenced its diverse and unique culture.

No greater witness to the blend of a unique culture was the last two days which provided opportunity to share teaching and testimony in two schools. With several hundred young men and young ladies in assembly, Dr. Judith Henry and I had the wonderful opportunity to share about freedom from homosexuality in Christ Jesus and offer HIV/AIDS awareness as well to the
student body. Their attentiveness to everything we shared was nothing short of remarkable with many of the students asking for continued information and education.

Maria Branford, Dr. Judith Henry and I, shared at an all-girl school with 600 young ladies attending the two-hour session. Maria once again shared her expertise and highly educational information regarding “understanding one’s gender.” Dr. Henry offered an outstanding presentation regarding the push for gay civil rights in Trinidad and Tobago and I had yet one more opportunity to share testimony and biblical teaching regarding God’s divine intent for human sexuality.

The attentiveness of the young ladies was amazing. It was undeniable the young ladies simply could not get enough information. Even after the session concluded, many of the students remained wanting to ask questions and continue the dialog. I will never, ever forget their facial expressions. The sincere, genuine interest with regard to the session topics was undeniably visible and when I shared the His Way Out Ministries web site address, I could not help but notice how many jotted the address down and made sure they wrote in down correctly before leaving the assembly hall. Just as we were beginning to wrap things up, I received a tap on my shoulder. As I turned around, a delightful young lady said, “Pastor Lee, may I share something with you?” My response? “Please.” She stated, “Pastor Lee, I believe you had to go through those 17 years of ‘gay’ so God could bring you out of that identity, out of that behavior, and out of that community, to bring you here to Trinidad and Tobago and share the truth about homosexuality to us here in Trinidad and Tobago.” I was more than touched and moved. God is good.

During my last evening in Trinidad and Tobago, we all had the opportunity to share over dinner, all of the wonderful, incredible and astounding things our Lord accomplished during the three-week journey. To God be the glory! I will forever be grateful to everyone at Hospital Christian Fellowship for their unbelievable hospitality and phenomenal attention to detail which produced such a highly organized and productive missionary trip. I do recall at one point stating, “Isn’t this trip just incredible!” Dr. Judith Henry responded with, “Well, should we really be all that surprised at what God has done? A multitude of people have been praying.” Indeed!

Hospital Christian Fellowship has done and continues to do an outstanding job in rallying The Church regarding the issue of homosexuality in their nation while seeking to minister to those within The Church, and the community at large, with the Truth of Scripture, the power of testimony and the dialog of issues.

This is not only a very critical time for Trinidad and Tobago but for the entire Caribbean. I believe all Christians are absolutely called to minister with grace and equally called to be completely faithful to God’s absolute truth. Therefore, in dealing with homosexuality, whether here in America or the Caribbean, and the many related issues, it means The Church must oppose the gay rights movement’s social and political agendas because of the call of God’s truth, while remembering each individual who faces same-sex orientations and practices remains a person who deserves the ministry of God’s grace.

I will be returning to the Caribbean in June 2012. Please remember the Caribbean in prayer at this very pivotal and critical juncture. It is quite possible (and from a Christian perspective, obligatory) to object to homosexual practice, and yet treat individuals with the respect and dignity they deserve. Neither truth nor love is homophobic. Therefore, responses to homosexuality which bear these qualities can never be homophobic. Ultimately, a society, any society, which seeks to base its public policy upon truth and love, will gain one of the most precious of social virtues – justice.

Pastor Phillip Lee
Executive Director
His Way Out Ministries

© Copyright His Way Out Ministries

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Thanks His Way Out

Apr 15th, 2012 by

“Thank you for taking a stand and the heat that comes along with it. As well, thank you for your timely lectures given at our church on homosexuality while I was leading a tour to Israel and Jordan. I heard from many of our people how informative your material was, and how well you presented it. It’s great to partner with you in this worthy cause.”
Pastor Ted Duncan, Calvary Bible Church, Bakersfield, CA.

“Thank you for sharing your experiences, knowledge and time with us. It was greatly appreciated. May God richly bless and keep you.”
Laventille Open Bible Church, Port of Spain, Trinidad

“Just thought you might be interested to know, the ladies from my bible study will be hosting a Tulare County Christian Women’s Conference here in Porterville with the theme Battle For Your Family. I’ll be giving a presentation on The Alternative Lifestyle – Homosexuality. Much of the information came from His Way Out Ministries. I just wanted to keep you informed of how God is using all the information that I gleaned from HWOM over the years.”
Becky Bay, Porterville, CA.

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Oh, Those Memories!

Mar 31st, 2012 by

Pastor Phillip Lee RL Series01Not along ago I was asked, “When will my ‘past’ stop being my present?” The question caused me to re-examine and ponder some of my own thoughts regarding the past and even how I see myself today.

To be honest, it seems that regardless of how much time has gone by, too often my past does it’s best to enable huge amounts of regret and pain to surface – even now, some twenty-five years down the road of being a Christian and same-gender attraction no long being an issue. Frankly, it does seem just a bit unfair. I suppose to some degree that shouldn’t be all that surprising when you still remember clearly words being hurled at you like: fag, queer, sissy, pansy, and gay.

Tragically, even today, many men and women struggling with homosexuality or lesbianism continue to be viewed and labeled as the most sinful, and the most despised. Is it any wonder the homosexual community devised a powerful and dramatic paradigm to win public approval and acceptance in doing their utmost to convince the world they were created with an unchangeable sexual orientation?

While memories can be painful, they can also be strangely wonderful. More and more, I find myself regularly reflecting on just how gracious God has truly been to me. In many respects, it’s as though my eyes opened fully. I know, I know. Some times I’m a bit slow, but I’m still worth waiting for!

Admittedly, there are times when I still find myself riding the emotional roller coaster of being HIV positive. However, I have been challenged to really live life to its fullest, to embrace the wonders of life and the possibilities God has to offer. To date, I have been places, met people, and done things that most men and women will only dream of doing and experiencing.

Yes, I have been up and down the sliding scale of wondering what news or disappointing test results would send me wondering – “Where do we go from here God?” I have known and know the overwhelming love, encouragement and support of friends, family and partners in ministry, had the privilege of witnessing God’s restoration and healing power at work in many lives, shared the Gospel and love of God with hundreds and thousands of people through the power of testimony and teaching, seen the establishment of ex-gay ministry in Guyana, South America and the Caribbean, and have every need met in my life. Not too bad for someone who thought his life was over in January of 1993 when diagnosed with HIV. Yes, God has been good to me and it really has been through the tests and trials of life that God has refined and brought healing and closure to much of my past. Yes, would I, like so many others, like to “go back” and have a second chance at doing some things over? You bet ‘cha! While that is not possible, I have found that some memories do at least fade with time. Also, a person can hasten their demise by choosing not to dwell on them or seeking avenues to reinforce them.

The lies of our past must be replaced with the truth of God’s Word. It’s not just the reading of God’s Word but the application that enables a man or woman to discover the reality of God’s love for us as individuals and His desire to forgive us for all sin – including homosexual thoughts and actions. The wonderful truth’s contained in the Bible, when acted upon daily in our lives, can and will profoundly change the way we see our past and serve as a compass for our future.

Trust me – there was a time when my entire identity was wrapped up in homosexuality. However, when I became a Christian some twenty-five years ago, I found my true identity would never be found by looking backward to my past or toward my sexuality. Past events, regardless of how many or to any degree, do not have to control us forever. Although the process of healing from the past may take much time and effort, it is entirely possible to find inner release and freedom.

I never thought I would be free from some of the haunting memories of my past. While I can still recall certain events, in many respects it’s as though they happened to someone else. I thank God I am free from the power of my past; my past no longer controls my life. With God’s help, the kind of freedom remains available today to any man or woman.

God desires that we all live free from the harmful effects of our past. Free to love and serve Him with purpose and full of hope, joy and expectation for the future.

“What would have become of me had I not believed that I would see the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living! Wait and hope for and expect the Lord: be brave and of good courage and let your heart be stout and enduring. Yes, wait for and hope for and expect the Lord.” Psalm 27:13-14 (Amplified)

Memories? Yes! However, I choose to view them as a steppingstone rather than a stumbling block. Right now, the view from where I sit looks pretty dog-gone good!

From All of Us at His Way Out Ministries…

To each of you who continually bless us by your encouragement, ministry participation monthly financial support, offerings and prayers…we remain truly grateful!

Pastor Phillip Lee
Executive Director
His Way Out Ministries

© Copyright His Way Out Ministries

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