It’s a fact that much of modern society is preoccupied, if not consumed by sex. Today, many Christian men and women are highly disturbed by their sexual feelings. For some, sexual obsession has become a form of worship. Anytime we give our hearts, minds and bodies over to remain in a state of sexual arousal, we are indeed doing exactly what the Apostle Paul talks about when he refers to worshipping created things rather than the Creator.

“Therefore God gave them over in the sinful desires of their hearts to sexual impurity for the degrading of their bodies with one another. They exchanged the truth of God for a lie, and worshiped and served created things rather than the Creator – who is forever praised. Amen.” (Romans 1:24-25)

As the prophet asked in Ezekiel 33:10; “How should we then live?” in a society that is so permeated by sex that even the most dedicated Christian is affected? More specifically, how does a Christian man or woman face and deal with sexual temptations – whether gay or straight?

First, we must understand and believe the clarity of Scripture that Jesus, our Savior and High Priest was tempted Himself and understands our temptation. Please embrace and take comfort in Hebrews 4:14-16:

“Therefore, since we have a great high priest who has gone through the heavens, Jesus the Son of God, let us hold firmly to the faith we profess. For we do not have a high priest who is unable to sympathize with our weaknesses, but we have one who has been tempted in every way, just as we are – yet was without sin. Let us then approach the throne of grace with confidence, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help us in our time of need.”

It is a fact that God knows our struggles, understands and forgives our failures. More than not, the questions most people face when confronted with temptation is not “Does God care?” but “Do I care?” Clearly, within Scripture God has made an abundance of resources available to us that we are sometimes unwilling to employ. Therefore, let’s be honest. We sin because we choose to sin rather than because we are left without resources by a God who doesn’t care.

According to the Apostle Paul in 1 Corinthians 10:13; “No temptation has seized us except what is common to man. And God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, he will also provide a way out so that you can stand up under it.” Clearly, when we choose to ignore the resources offered to us by God, we fail.

Regularly, I receive invitations to speak and teach on the topic of same-gender attraction. Every now and then, I am challenged by someone that feels I should not speak so frankly and openly about homosexuality. The view, by some, is that by making people aware I may be encouraging them to participate. I do listen, even trying to take them seriously due to their usage of the following:

“The night is nearly over; the day is almost here. So let us put aside the deeds of darkness and put on the armor of light. Let us behave decently, as in the daytime, not in orgies and drunkenness, not in sexual immorality and debauchery, not in dissension and jealousy. Rather, clothe yourselves with the Lord Jesus Christ, and do not think about how to gratify the desires of the sinful nature.” (Romans 13:12-14)

While I do respect their opinion, I still believe we must know the enemy and understand both the subtle and the obvious ways he tries to affect us. Making people aware of dangers is not the same as thinking about how to gratify the desires of the sinful nature.

So, what do you and I do when we fail? Ultimately, it’s pretty easy to keep the right focus and attitude when sexual temptations have been resisted successfully. However, when any man or woman has given into sexual temptation, “What’s the use?” is all too common to surface. “I’ve blown it and so I just might as well do some other things also” is anything but the thought, attitude or approach recommended by Jesus. I guarantee you that in adopting or embracing these mentioned thoughts or actions will only lead to deep guilt as well as continued sexual frustration and spiritual frustration also.

When Jesus confronted individuals who had sinned and who were truly repentant, His response was always the same. He forgave the sin but also challenged the person to forsake it and begin living a better way. Once our sin has been admitted and we see our sin as God sees it, it is imperative we place our full attention and focus on our Savior and no longer upon our sin. Do not remain in a mode of mentally replaying your sin. That, in and of itself, can become an obsession.

When we are purposed to keep our eyes on Jesus, we see victory. This absolutely gives us hope. However, when we continue to fix our eyes on our recurring brokenness or sin, we will see only defeat which can easily transcend to becoming ashamed even to look at Jesus. We must keep our focus and attention on our source of hope rather than that which is broken. That is exactly why a regular time of reading Scripture and praying is essential. It puts our attention on Christ where it belongs. One more time – look at the Savior, not at the sin.

I really believe that any discussion about sexual temptation would be incomplete without a look at the way David dealt with his own sin. David was brutally honest with God, which just may be why, despite his sin, he was called a man after God’s own heart. In Psalm 51:5-12 he writes:

“Surely I have been a sinner from birth, sinful from the time my mother conceived me. Surely you desire truth in the inner parts; you teach me wisdom in the inmost place. Cleanse me with hyssop, and I will be clean; wash me, and I will be whiter than snow. Let me hear joy and gladness; let the bones you have crushed rejoice. Hide your face from my sins and blot out all my iniquity. Create in me a pure heart, O God, and renew a steadfast spirit within me. Do not cast me away from your presence or take your Holy Spirit from me. Restore to me the joy of our salvation and grant me a willing spirit, to sustain me.”

There is a way out. God is good!

Pastor Phillip Lee
Executive Director
His Way Out Ministries

© Copyright His Way Out Ministries

A recent article in The Advocate, which proclaims to be “the world’s leading gay news source,” offered yet another alarming, if not chilling, depiction of where we stand with regard to HIV/AIDS. The article titled Why Are HIV Rates so High Amongst Young Gay Men? which was offered on December 6, 2012, focuses upon a very important and shocking truth that we are in a second HIV epidemic among U.S. gay men “that no one is talking about.”

AIDS was first described in June of 1981 as “an unusual disease that was causing primarily young homosexual men to lose their ability to fight off otherwise common and non-harmful diseases.” GRID (Gay Related Immune Deficiency), as it was first called, soon took the name of Acquired Immune Deficiency Syndrome or AIDS. It was shown to affect anyone who was either sexually or through intravenous means infected by some agent which caused the immune system to be compromised over time. How well I remember this horrific tragedy unfold as some of my closest friends were the first to pass away from AIDS while living in San Francisco in 1981.

Speaking for myself, I would say this, when I meet people with HIV/AIDS, it doesn’t matter to me how they got it. All that matters is that they are human beings whom God loves so much and asks us to love too. Admittedly, some of my more theological friends may question this, I don’t mind.

HIV/AIDS clearly forces all of us to make hard choices, choices that reveal clearly what kind of people we are choosing to be. Tragically, there are those that call for callous unconcern by deserting and even persecuting the person with HIV/AIDS. However, my continued hope and prayer is that we all would resolve to follow Christ Jesus, who willingly took risks, crossed barriers, touched lepers, met freely with the despised, took the blame, even bore the stigma.

Ultimately, we must talk about HIV/AIDS. Why? Because this about people and not just an issue. In the name of decency, true compassion, humanity and the sanctity of life (all life), the truth cannot and must not be ignored or suppressed with what continues to unfold regarding HIV/AIDS. People’s lives are not made better – physically, psychologically, spiritually or socially – as a result of ignoring or unwillingness to talk about a real, true crisis of our time.

For their support throughout my own personal journey with HIV/AIDS, I thank God for my family, especially my mother and brother, my church, the many wonderful brothers and sisters in Christ, that have stood by and supported me, not always knowing what to say or do, but you were there.

HIV/AIDS is a disease that impacts real people and their loved ones who must learn to face this together, because no one can face it alone. People facing HIV/AIDS do better when they know what to expect on the journey. They do best when they don’t have to find their way alone. The journey begins with “talking about it.”

Not long ago, during one of our men’s discipleship group meetings, we began talking about “vows” people make and more specifically, how vows relate and contribute to a man or woman having an issue of same-gender attraction. As a result, the discussion caused me to dig a bit further into the subject matter. Ultimately, I could not dismiss the overwhelming evidence of just how much “inner vows” play in contributing to many individuals struggling with compulsive behaviors and finding them so incredibly difficult to change.

In the dictionary a vow is defined as “a solemn promise or declaration by which a person is bound to an act, service, or condition.” In Scripture, over and over again we see references to vows and oaths.

“Again, you have heard that it was said the people long ago, Do not break your oath, but keep the oaths you have made to the Lord. But I tell you, Do not swear at all; either by heaven, for it is God’s throne, or by the earth, for it is His footstool; or by Jerusalem, for it is the city of the Great King. And do not swear by your head, for you cannot make even one hair white or black. Simply let your Yes by Yes, and your No, No, anything beyond this comes from the evil one.” (Matthew 5:33-37)

How often have I heard, “I have had same-gender attraction for as long as I can remember and I guess I always will.” According to John and Paula Sanford in their book Transformation of The Inner Man, “an inner vow is a decision and resolve either to do or not to do a certain activity, event, or to have or not to have a certain attitude or relationship. It is a determination set by the mind and heart into all of one’s being usually set early in life, and often forgotten.” Personally speaking, I have often found that the attitude in which I face the mountains in my life always has a direct and profound bearing on just how long “the mountain” may remain in my life.

While I would never dismiss the intense temptations, feelings, emotions, and, at times, overwhelming tsunami of same-gender attraction, if I, or anyone for that matter, continues to define their identity based on the sexuality (homosexual), it implies the possibility of one’s behavior or sexual orientation can never be minimized or changed. In other words, how we label ourselves reveals what is of prime importance in our life. There is finality about labeling oneself. It implies the subject is closed and that a decision has been reached. It is entirely possible for men and women to recover from any number of conditions but they may not fully recover from an inner vow or labeling of oneself.

How I remember to this day, when I was just a little guy, those that would constantly encourage me to play a variety of sports that I really didn’t want to play but did because “that is what little boys did.” That sense of reality coupled with the disappointment and down right hurt and shame of generally being the last to be picked for “the team,” caused me to make a decision (a vow) that I was never going to play “those stupid games” again. Now, I realize just how my attitude and decision (which really wasn’t based in truth it was just a perception on my part), catapulted me down a path that led to years of struggling with self-worth and acceptance. The incredible irony regarding sport activity was that I was pretty dog-gone good at a number of sports. Oh, the inner traps (vows) that causes such heartache, pain and sometimes years of disillusionment and despair. It took me a very long time to realize that I was most definitely a “guy” that just happened to have different interests, gifts and talents that didn’t match the abilities, gifts and talents of others. No gender confusion, just specific gifts God had granted me and placed with me to ultimately honor and glorify Him.

It is certainly true that inner vows are sometimes identified by compulsive behavior. At the very moment we became a Christian and knew we have given our heart to Jesus, the reality of a power struggle may have in many cases just begun. Frankly, losing one’s life to find it is no easy journey because our old way of doing things and the old way of seeing ourselves dies only with a great deal of pain and over time. The true battle becomes – which will survive, our will or God’s will? The resolution of that question often involves coming to terms and dealing with the inner vows of homosexuality that have been falsely embraced as truth and have placed a person under the bitter root of fear, hidden resentment, and self-judgment.

Embracing an inner vow, belief and proclamation of “I am gay and will always be gay,” can most definitely set the shape of our entire being and character. It is entirely possible for the entire structure of a person’s personality to be built around one inner vow. Now here this! There is always much, much more to a person that just their sexuality! However, the owning of one’s identity being based upon “I’m gay!” can and often does shape the individuals personality for life.

The inner vow of seeing oneself as “always homosexual” must be addressed and ultimately broken. If not broken, the strong possibility exists that the individual will fall to relying upon the power of their flesh to lead the Christian life, to be good, righteous and holy. Freedom, true freedom comes by faith as well recognizing that an inner vow just may have placed us in a position of defeat and not victory.

However, there is great news! Through the repentance of any sinful action that may have caused us to make a vow, we can exercise our authority in Christ and break each and every inner vow. Whether homosexuality or any other deeply ingrained habit or compulsive behavior, breaking the hold vows may have over us is entirely possible. Every Christian has been given the God-given right to cancel any vow made in the past or present.

How does one know if an inner vow is in some way impacting their life, possibly locking them in a battle with same-gender attraction? By asking. Connect with a prayer minister, a ministry, pastor or believer in the Authority of Christ and ask the Holy Spirit to come and search your heart. Anytime a believer in Christ invites the Holy Spirit to come…why wouldn’t He? Now, here’s a tip. If the Holy Spirit identifies, discloses an “inner vow,” know that a “root cause” of behavior (homosexuality, habitual adultery, alcoholism, etc.) has been identified and the Holy Spirit is enabling a key to freedom.

Personally, I have found that God will take me as far as I am willing to go. The path of healing from same-gender attraction comes about only through a genuine and intimate relationship with Jesus Christ. The addiction and bondage to homosexuality can be totally broken. The essential first step is wanting Christ and all that He offers. The person that really experiences the most change is the person that has come to realize that he simply has no other place to go.

From All of Us at His Way Out Ministries…

To each of you who continually bless us by your encouragement, ministry participation, monthly financial support, offerings and prayers, we remain truly grateful.

Pastor Phillip Lee
Executive Director
His Way Out Ministries

© Copyright His Way Out Ministries

While many continue to preach, “If it feels good do it!” and “Since everyone is doing it and doing it behind closed doors (well, some anyway), Go for it!” let me begin by stating that if you choose not to have sex “You won’t blow up!”

Today, more than ever, single men and women (straight or gay) face a relentless onslaught of pressure and challenges daily. Ultimately, we are all in a battle to stay pure in a very impure world. The music industry, news media, educational system, TV and the Internet are keeping all of us completely saturated in a lust-filled atmosphere. Frankly, many today are far more interested and concerned with pleasing themselves outside of God’s will, plan and purpose and simply do not trust Him enough to supply all of their needs. In America, especially, ‘feeling good’ has become a narcotic.

You know, I have accepted the fact that as long as I am on this earth – single or not – I will be engaged in combating something. The undeniable truth is that my flesh will always be at war with the Spirit of God in me. “For the flesh lusts against the Spirit, and the Spirit against the flesh; and these are contrary to one another, so that you do not do the things you wish.” (Galatians 5:17)

As a single man, called to a life that involves going against the normal flow of our culture, a culture which promotes a love of pleasure and self-indulgence, I remain a man called and commanded by Christ Jesus to strive for purity. Now, if that sounds like too much of a tall order, remember Jesus will never ask anything of us that is impossible for us to obey.

When anyone, gay or straight, makes the conscious choice to stray beyond God’s holy boundary lines in terms of sexual expression, we bring terrible consequences upon ourselves by our rebellion and disobedience. Sexual sin of any type or any degree causes an immediate dividing wall between our spirit and God’s. God doesn’t create the dividing wall, our sinful behavior does. With so many today exclaiming their desire to be delivered from a considerable list of habits, addictions and compulsive behaviors, I just can’t help but believe the reason God does not deliver us from particular sins that are a concern to us is that we remain unwilling to cooperate with Him in delivering us from other sins that He has already made known to us.

And, while I am defining ‘holy boundary lines.’ let me be thorough and fair. Any perversion beyond God’s original divine intent for human sexuality which includes adultery, prostitution, promiscuity, homosexuality, and more, is thoroughly and repeatedly condemned in Scripture (1 Corinthians 6:9; Romans 13:13; Galatians 5:19-21). Therefore, in terms of the single man or woman, Jesus could not have been more clear in defining if a person is not married the only acceptable option with God is celibacy. For the single person, celibacy is a good thing and should be our only choice if we want to live according to God’s word and plan. While the world continues to encourage every and any type of sexual expression under the sun, I wonder, has remaining celibate become so obsolete because we have become so enlightened in our under-standing of human sexuality? I think not.

May I be frank? Over the past twenty-six years since I’ve made a real commitment to follow Jesus, I have faced my share of intense temptation. But, I made a promise. Rather than caving in to complete despair because of the battle or desires of my flesh, I have always held on to the fact there was strength (overcoming strength) and hope because Jesus promised me that I would never, ever be forsaken or snatched from His hand (John 10:28). I assure you and can testify that that the Lord Jesus Christ will keep anyone who wants to be kept. “Yet in all these things we are more than conquerors through Him who loved us.” (Romans 8:37)

We have become far too impatient with things that take time. Today, we even want our own personal deliverance to be micro waved. Relax and enjoy the journey! I guarantee you every faithful follower of Christ Jesus is “…continuing to work out their own salvation with fear and trembling.” (Philippians 2:12)

Yes, in the midst of such a decadent culture, you have hope. Psalm 119:9-11 tells us, “How can a young man keep his way pure? By keeping it according to Your Word. With all my heart I have sought You; do not let me wander from Your commandments. Your Word I have treasured in my heart, that I may not sin against You.”

May you have the courage, conviction and commitment to do what is right in His sight.

It says in the Book of Romans that because man began serving and worshipping created things rather than the Creator, God gave him over to shameful and unnatural lusts (Rom. 1:24-27). And so, you can see an almost predictable pattern in the fall of the great civilizations of the world, from an increased worship of the human body to the descent of that society into sexual depravity and disaster.

In our culture today, the human body is indeed the god of our idolatry. We spend billions of dollars making it look beautiful and tan and young and pulled tight and fit. The success of most television, film and even ad campaigns revolves around the sensual depiction of the human body, or related innuendo. It is an obsession that has encircled the entire globe. And so, before we can even address the issue of pornography, we must confess our own participation in this evil system of idol worship.

We are not watching what we put before our eyes. We are not sold out to God, as citizens of His Kingdom, forsaking the lusts of this world. We do not believe in His power to deliver, or in His promises to sanctify and cause to walk Holy. When we read, “He who hungers and thirsts after righteousness shall be filled” (Matt. 5:6) – do we truly believe it? Frankly, there is a much larger “Elephant” in the sanctuary than homosexuality and heterosexual sexual addiction. And, the “Elephant” goes by a couple of names – complacency and unbelief.

When you put your money down for the purchase of any magazine or video with nudity in it, you are first paying for the exploitation of the actors who were used in the production of what you bought. The young man or woman who has to take their clothes off in order to get a part in a film or magazine has already sold a part of their self-respect, and have built another wall of division between themselves and the God who wants to redeem them. You participate in that process by financing that young boy or girl’s fall. The Bible says that it would be better for a millstone to be hung around your neck and for you to be thrown into the sea than for you to do that (Luke 17:1-2).

When it comes to explicit pornography, there is an even more hideous reality. In even the most “respected” “girlie” and “boy” magazines, there is an incredible amount of sexual abuse and exploitation going on behind the scenes.

Many of the people you see have been drugged and compromised and threatened in order to secure their participation in the production. At the very least, their emotional insecurities have been sinfully exploited by evil and callous men and women.

It is not unusual in the world of pornography for young girls and boys to be kidnapped off the streets, force-fed addictive drugs and gang-raped in order to break down their resistance to being used. In some cases, they are brutally treated, tortured and even killed. They are often forced into a life of prostitution. This goes on every day of every week in every major city (and some towns) of this country. And the person who finances it is the person who buys pornography. We participate in the unspeakable practices that go on with our dollars and by our silent, turned faces. And still we wonder why pornography has such power to keep a man or woman in bondage.

The first part of the remedy for an addiction to pornography is to see it as the evil that it is. There is no single good thing about it. Learn to hate it for what it does to others as well as for what it does to you and your relationship with God.

Next, determine in your heart that with God’s power, you are going to turn away from your sin and follow the instructions of the Lord.

At this point, it becomes important to get rid of every piece of pornography that you own — not by selling it or giving it away, but by burning and throwing it away. This is a very important step to take, as a practical demonstration to the Lord of your commitment to Him and as a way of eliminating immediate sources of temptation.

It is also important at this point to separate yourself from any affiliation or friendships that have contributed to the problem. Cut up the credit cards that you use to order such materials and services. Change your phone number if you have to, but do those things, which show the Lord that you are serious, because if you are not serious, then you cannot expect that the Lord will do anything to deliver you.

At the same time, spend a lot of time in praise and worship of the Lord; seek Him in prayer with all your heart, in reading the Bible, and in getting involved in a Bible believing fellowship of Christians, so that you can begin to flood the darkness in your life with the light of Jesus Christ.

The relationship that you develop with the Lord in prayer and worship will serve to guide you to the particular issues that birthed the problem in the first place, and as each of them is healed, the power of the forces that try to pull you back into sin will lessen in strength. It’s really a matter of replacing what the pornography did for you with what God Almighty can do for you. You’ll find that it is no contest. What God will fill you with will be beyond what you can possibly imagine or think (Eph. 3:20). Just give it time, and a great deal of attention.

Know this: God loves you and promises to heal you from your calamity and your sin if you will humbly come to Him and ask for His help, and patiently work with Him as He shows you what to do. He can restore your innocence, because He is a mighty and powerful God. He bought you at the price of the death of His own Son. He sees you clothed in robes of pure white linen, righteous before His eyes because you have clothed yourself with the purity and holiness of Christ.

Pastor Phillip Lee
Executive Director
His Way Out Ministries

© Copyright His Way Out Ministries

Did anyone really think it would come to this? I certainly didn’t. I have been asked numerous times what I think about the U.S. Supreme Court addressing the issue of same-sex marriage. While I have shared my personal views and thoughts on same-sex marriage, I will still say probably much less than some would expect. Why? Because His Way Out Ministries calling is not necessarily to the political arena.

That said, I do believe and encourage all Christians to consider what is the most appropriate way of responding to homosexuals, and more specifically, to the demands which they are pursuing through various social and political agendas when it comes to same-sex marriage?

Today, advocates of social policies and legislation to “normalize” and prohibit discrimination on the basis of homosexual orientation often base their arguments on the claim that homosexuality (same-sex unions of any type and to any degree) is “normal” for a significant percentage of people. However, the term “normal” remains open to various interpretations, being understood in different ways by different people.

Our primary concern should be to promote public policies which both protect and enhance the well-being of individuals and society as a whole. Today, many people are impressed with statistics. Consequently, when it comes to communicating that large numbers of homosexuals exist, they mistakenly assume that homosexuality must be normal, natural and, therefore, socially acceptable. Setting aside this faulty logic, we should at least attempt to get the facts straight.

The questions surrounding homosexuality, and more specifically, same-sex marriage, are not legal ones. Frankly, even if all religions were silent on the subject, we would still need to ask whether it is right or wrong. We should not even be asking political questions regarding homosexual practice because it matters little to the debate of whether homosexuality is politically correct. Nor is “the question” about culture or tradition. Ultimately, the moral status of homosexual practice should never be determined on the basis of figures. There is no such thing as “statistical morality.”

Given the high profile of the public debate over homosexuality and same-sex marriage, and the efforts of those seeking its social legitimacy, the question of how society will handle and respond is critical. Given the current political climate, if we cannot address homosexuality and same-sex marriage both factually and within a moral context, then we should not address it at all.

It is more than ironic that in a time of what appears to be great concern for basic values and the emphasis for the instilling of character, there are those perpetuating and elevating “desire” to the level of the new “moral norm.”

It is my opinion that hurting, wounded people are the main issue. There are many men and women who call themselves gay, lesbian, bi-sexual or transgender, who don’t know that God loves them and has made provision for them. As the Book of Joel tells us, there are “multitudes, multitudes in the valley of decision.”

As long as resources are poured into the political battle alone and ignore ministry to the lonely ones, we contradict the heart of the gospel of Jesus Christ. What if people were to hear, instead of labels, an invitation to relationship? What if they were to hear, “We know you are a person. Come talk with us, let us know you, and we will let you know us. Let us grow in our understanding of one another and see how the Lord might use us in one another’s lives.”

Our hope at His Way Out Ministries remains that people who have been just fighting over the political issues of homosexuality would be willing to expand their awareness to the human need embedded in the behavior, which is a fueling agent of same-gender attraction. My personal hope and desire is that the people who are called by God’s name will humble themselves and pray, then open their hearts to men and women who need to know Jesus cares about them and their needs. I pray that God’s people will look for ways to minister in truth and love and reach into the vast, enormous and virtually untouched mission field of those struggling with unwanted same-gender attraction.

Pastor Phillip Lee
Executive Director
His Way Out Ministries

© Copyright His Way Out Ministries