Nonsense.

Many men and women sit in churches, hurting yet hesitant, if not fearful, to express their deep need because they fear being misunderstood or rejected. Every now and then they poke their heads out from behind their walls of protection, looking for love.

However, too often, they withdraw often due to the only message they hear is, “they should not feel the way they do.”

Time heals only if the man or woman is actively working towards recovery.

Spiritual growth is a life-long process. Working through character faults, past hurts, immaturity’s and insecurities is a long process for everyone, not just the recovering homosexual or lesbian.

Sometimes some men and women manage to endure, persisting in their Christian walk through sheer willpower: but what a downright shame that they should have to live in isolation from the very family that could give them the comfort and support they so rightly need and deserve!

Often, too often, their quest, their hearts cry for someone to love them without criticism or condemnation, goes unheard because many are not free enough in themselves to bear the burdens of others.

They, just like you and me, are searching for unconditional love, and if they do not find it first and foremost in God with the help of the Body of Christ, where will they? Where are they to go?

Fact: Change, healing, restoration, deliverance or recovery is a cooperative venture between God and ourselves through the power of the Holy Spirit.

God did not tell us to seek Him, to pursue Him, to follow Him because He needed our help. No. Seeking, pursuing, following and loving Him makes us whole.

“The people who know their God will be strong and take action.” Daniel 11:32

Pastor Phillip Lee
His Way Out Ministries

Beyond equal rights and even beyond affirmative action, the bottom line for many homosexual activists has become power. By reweaving the social, cultural, and political fabric of this country, just “coming out” is no longer the sum total of the homosexual movement. Directly tied to the quest for power is the relentless crusade for acceptance – to gain society’s stamp of approval.

Ultimately, what this all amounts to is a society in which a majority of citizens are losing their right to freedom of conscience, which in the case of the subject of homosexuality means the right to withhold affirmation and the right to believe that homosexuality is not on par with heterosexuality.

Gay rights advocates demand the freedom to practice their sexual preference free from prejudicial treatment while those objecting to or challenging homosexual practice are labeled hateful, homophobic, and intolerant. For a vast amount of Americans, agreeing with homosexual practice, in any form, and to any degree, would require speaking and acting contrary to their conscience.

It is an undeniable fact that far too much of American culture is in the grip of political correctness. Today, any public disagreement with any aspect of the homosexual movement is immediately met with accusations of gay-bashing. Since when did having an opposing view or possibly hurting one’s feelings become an issue of civil rights?

Admittedly, it’s hard to imagine anyone seriously asserting that homosexuals, as individuals or as a group, lack political access or influence. Considering the current trend, it is entirely possible we will witness legislation which would make any form or type of discrimination against homosexuality illegal simultaneously robbing American citizens of their rights to freedom of conscience and freedom of speech.

As citizens of the United States, all homosexuals have the fundamental rights accorded to every citizen. The right to vote, the right to travel, the right to privacy, and the First Amendment rights of free speech, freedom of the press, freedom of assembly, and freedom of religion.

However, they do not have the right to demand everyone agree with them.

There is such a thing as legitimate disagreement and the freedom to express different beliefs and principles.

Pastor Phillip Lee
His Way Out Ministries

“Biblical authority is not tyranny: We read, reflect – and reconcile ourselves with Scripture; but we never simply remake it or reject it – if we affirm its authority.” Professor Marion L. Soards

The relentless social pressure that exists to protect “gay” from discrimination has resulted in a tragically dangerous code.

While I personally deplore any and all forms of “gay bashing” and other hate crimes against homosexuals, the extreme medical risks and the fundamental psychological problems often associated with homosexual practice, cannot be undermined or dismissed.

In America, very little is being offered which promotes the truth about homosexuality and the general public has slowly but certainly bought into the many untruths with regard to the topic of homosexuality. This did not happen by accident.

In December 1973, by a narrow vote, homosexuality was removed from the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorder (DSM) by the American Psychiatric Association. The vote was not based on scientific research but on political pressure from homosexual activists. So much for an individual’s right of self-determination to address their unwanted homosexual feelings and behavior.

In a nutshell, the problem is the politicization of psychiatry, psychology, and most definitely, the Bible, to the extent that the freedom to investigate and treat homosexuality has been and continues to be under serious attack.

During my 17 years as ‘gay,’ I personally witnessed far too many lives devastated and some taking their own lives over the celebration of ‘gay.’ In each and every case the ruin and carnage were not brought about by the individual trying to resolve their same-gender attraction.

Today, in America and around the world, in the name of tolerance, diversity, and equality, often the truth has been and is being suppressed regarding homosexuality. We can and we must reverse the current trend through education and understanding.

Yes, because of very real discrimination, homosexual activists created a brilliant strategic plan to gain across-the-board acceptance. Yet their plan was and is based upon a flawed paradigm to persuade people they were born with same-gender attraction and they cannot change.

This strategy has worked. But the biggest losers just may be homosexual men and women who may get everything they think they want, but will they be denied what they truly need?

Upholding Biblical sexual morality does not = bigotry.

Pastor Phillip Lee
His Way Out Ministries
www.hiswayout.com

Is there nothing wrong with sex as long as it is consensual? And if there is something wrong, what is it? Does it really come down to a matter of personal taste, of private sentiment and personal choice? Have we become a nation, a world that gains a sense of purpose and meaning primarily from our sexual desires and behavior?

Many have chosen and are choosing to blatantly reject the Authority of Scripture in matters of faith, practice and God’s holy boundary lines with regard to sexual expression.

On every hand you find those, “…who call evil good and good evil, who put darkness for light and light for darkness…” (Isaiah 5:20)

With all sorts of opinions consuming the airwaves, media, and the internet, it appears everything is now up for question, debate, and compromise; sexual expression in particular.

America’s blind, amoral pursuit of pleasure at any price, and in any form, has indeed perpetuated the social and dark spiritual dynamics which have birthed and inflamed the various forms of sexual perversion.

While there are those still attempting to make The Bible and Christianity socially and culturally relevant by rewriting and redefining biblical standards, I find tremendous comfort and strength in knowing God’s Word remains steadfast from generation to generation. Therefore, it remains crucial that each and every true faithful follower of Christ Jesus understands and embraces “thus saith the Lord” when it comes to God’s divine intent for human sexuality and other issues of our time.

God has not been mocked nor will He will not be mocked. There is no way, it is impossible for anyone to legitimately rewrite or circumvent what God prohibits. Anyone choosing to practice any behavior that God has clearly defined as sin, cannot glorify God and will eventually downward spiral.

The Lord Jesus has not changed, nor will He ever alter His Word to accommodate man’s sinful desires, choices and behaviors.

The reality of an across-the-board crisis of sexual and relational brokenness in America clearly points to an increasing inability, as a society, to make healthy and moral distinctions. Even those who place a high premium on tolerance are obligated to recognize that matters of various sexual lifestyles now threaten the very values and institutions on which a solid and vital society is built and sustained.

Today, more than ever, responsible American citizens who truly care for the greater social good of America are obligated to impose, if not place under the microscope, a moral gaze on their sexual behavior. Unfortunately, not every American is willing or responsive enough to such an obligation.

What’s more, they do not want anyone to hold them responsible. Those who have the self-respect to recognize that a person is not reducible to his or her desires or behavior truly exhibit a concern for social justice, personal responsibility, and a true love for this nation which seeks nothing higher than the welfare of people – all people.

How is it in choosing to dismiss and disregard God’s moral compass, we are shocked by the state of our culture? Even so, shocked at what has happened and continues to spread in the Church?

Speaking as someone that was trapped for many years in a behavior and lifestyle, thinking there was no way out, I completely understand how anyone might have difficulty in believing in and receiving God’s forgiveness and restoration.

“But Jesus Christ is the same yesterday, today, and forever.” (Hebrews 13:8) God remains rich in mercy and remains willing to deliver anyone. “He is forever our great Sin-bearer and the God who forgives.” (Psalm 99:8)

America is in need of huge and immediate change. I believe the Church should be out front by showing the way to bring it about. If things continue in this wonderful nation as they have, America and the Church will remain adrift without a moral compass.

The Church must stop the down-playing, the silent-mode, the ignoring, the dismissal, the setting-aside of God’s moral and ethical “holy boundary lines” for living, with regard to sexual expression. All faithful followers of Christ Jesus are called to a higher standard which requires all faithful followers of Christ Jesus to be discipled in the full, total, and complete Word of God.

Silence, in particular, is undeniably an earmark of a dysfunctional family, because the real problems are never discussed and resolved. It’s imperative that the Body of Christ stand against current trends in today’s society that have and continue to distort human sexuality as God intended and created it.

The 138th Psalm says, “I will praise your name for your loving kindness and your truth, for you have magnified your word about your name.” Obviously, God thinks highly of His name – but He has magnified His Word even about His name – and, so should we all.

It is only when we embrace the entirety and truth of Scripture without compromise; Jesus empowers us to walk in His perfect design and purpose.

Pastor Phillip Lee
Executive Director
His Way Out Ministries

Usually, when homosexuality becomes known in a family, the greater attention and focus is normally placed on the individual that has announced his or her being gay. However, when homosexuality comes a knocking on your personal front door, it affects much more than just him or her. Immediately, the crisis becomes a family matter with the family having to work through the blow of learning of a child’s homosexuality.

For Christian parents becoming aware of a child’s homosexuality, it becomes very tempting to respond with, “How can you be homosexual? You’re a Christian!” Parents become immediately flooded with questions such as: What will people think? What did I do wrong? or How are we are going to deal with this?

Without a doubt, it is just as difficult for the individual to disclose their battle with same-gender attraction as it is for the family to hear. In the majority of cases, the individual struggling with same-gender attraction has been in an intense battle for a very long time especially if the individual is an adult. The very moment the admission comes out of the individual’s mouth, all of the anxiety, turmoil, fear, shame, anger, disillusionment and more, is immediately transferred to the parents (family).

Parents naturally want to protect their children and rightfully feel a huge amount of responsibility for their lives. As a result, it is absolutely imperative that Christian parents establish boundaries when facing and dealing with a child’s acceptance and practice of homosexuality. In their book Boundaries, Dr’s. Henry Cloud and John Townsend describe boundaries as, “what defines what is me and what is not me. A boundary shows me where I end and someone else begins, leading me to a sense of ownership.”

Without a doubt, parents experience a huge amount of loss when they find out about a child’s homosexuality. Almost immediately, grief, despair, disillusionment and fear surface launching parents into a process where they ultimately must give themselves permission to grieve and not pretend that nothing is wrong or that their world has been turned upside-down.

Every year, I receive numerous inquiries for guidance from parents wanting to know what are some of the do’s and don’ts when the holidays are fast approaching. During the holiday season, parents, in particular, become overwhelmed with the various looming scenarios related to a gay-identified child coming home for Christmas and bringing “a friend.” The line(s) between acceptance and approval, love and condoning a sinful behavior can often become a bit blurry and challenging during the holiday season.

Anita Worthen discusses the issue of inviting a child’s partner for the holidays in her book Someone I Love is Gay. “Your child’s partner is not the enemy. He or she is someone God loves – just as he loves your son or daughter.” However, that doesn’t mean you welcome the couple into your home as if nothing was wrong. Ignoring the obvious has a name – denial.

A good rule of thumb in ultimately coming to a decision of how to handle the situation is to ask, “How would I handle it if my child wanted to bring home an opposite-sex partner?” I believe the majority of Christian families would probably invite that person into their home, but clearly define the appropriate boundary line of separate sleeping arrangements. However, if parents are completely uncomfortable with the entire gay scenario, being honest is the very best policy for all involved. Because each family is unique, each family has to find a way to handle the various situations that will undoubtedly surface. There isn’t one universal answer that works for everyone.

Frankly, there aren’t any easy, pat answers for a family working through the awareness of a child’s homosexuality. There are no magic cures, no shortcuts. However, God is more than able and willing to bring the entire family into a deeper, more intimate relationship with Him since the family, by God’s own design, was designed to be a support system and a place of love and safety. Ultimately, only through a personal relationship with Jesus Christ and the indwelling presence of His Spirit, will any individual or family be enabled to overcome homosexuality and the many related issues.

Being a very practical individual, I encourage all parents (families) to consider that the crisis does not rest solely with the homosexual child. Within the mix of the various and numerous contributing factors to an individual struggling with same-gender attraction are family and relational issues the enabled the situation. Therefore, I believe parents, the family, need to be willing to (1) educate themselves on the homosexual behavior, (2) seek spiritual guidance for themselves, certainly their feelings and emotions, (3) be patient in embracing the reality that healing is a process and, (4) release the child into God’s care. Admittedly, the last point is much easier said than done.

However, it is when we let go of a child, a friend, or a spouse that we do stop taking responsibility for them but we do not stop fulfilling our responsibilities to them. Homosexuality is not just about an issue. This is about people – people that God loves and people for whom Jesus died.

When homosexuality surfaces in a family, it isn’t just a child struggling with same-gender attraction; it is a family issue and needs to be healed within the family.

“The Lord also will be a refuge for the oppressed, a refuge in times of trouble.” Psalm 9:9

Recommended Reading

Someone I Love is Gay by Anita Worthen and Bob Davies
This book gives easy to understand answers to the family members surrounding the homosexual. Many real-life examples are cited to help families understand and respond to their homosexual loved one in a compassionate way.

101 Frequently Asked Questions About Homosexuality by Mike Haley
In this book you will find answers to the most often asked questions about homosexuality from an expert on the subject – and a former homosexual himself.

When Homosexuality Hits Home by Joe Dallas
In this straightforward book, Christian author and counselor Joe Dallas offers practical, step-by-step advice on how to deal with the many conflicts and emotions experienced by parents, grandparents, siblings, and extended family members when they learn of a loved one’s homosexuality.

For additional Recommended Reading, please visit: hiswayout.com/category/recommended-reading

Pastor Phillip Lee
His Way Out Ministries