I have faced my share of intense temptation.

Billy Graham said, “The Cross confronts every person and demands a lifestyle change.”

Clearly, disciples of Christ must make decisions. We must decide whether we are willing to give up everything in our lives, including our sex lives, to follow Jesus in obedience.

While many continue to preach, “If it feels good do it!” and “Since everyone is doing it and doing it behind closed doors (well, some anyway), Go for it!” let me begin by stating that if you choose not to have sex “You won’t blow up!”

Today, more than ever, single men and women (straight or gay) face a relentless onslaught of pressure and challenges daily. Ultimately, we are all in a battle to stay pure in a very impure world. The music industry, news media, educational system, TV and the Internet are keeping all of us completely saturated in a lust-filled atmosphere.

Frankly, many today are far more interested and concerned with pleasing themselves outside of God’s will, plan, and purpose and simply do not trust Him enough to supply all of their needs. In America, especially, feeling good has become a narcotic.

I have accepted the fact that as long as I am on this earth, single or not, I will be engaged in combating something. The undeniable truth is that my flesh will always be at war with the Spirit of God in me. “For the flesh lusts against the Spirit, and the Spirit against the flesh; and these are contrary to one another, so that you do not do the things you wish.” (Galatians 5:17)

As a single man, called to a life that involves going against the normal flow of our culture, a culture which promotes a love of pleasure and self-indulgence, I remain a man called and commanded by Christ Jesus to strive for purity. Now, if that sounds like too much of a tall order, remember Jesus will never ask anything of us that is impossible for us to obey.

When anyone, gay or straight, makes the conscious choice to stray beyond God’s holy boundary lines in terms of sexual expression, we bring terrible consequences upon ourselves by our rebellion and disobedience. Sexual sin of any type or any degree causes an immediate dividing wall between our spirit and God’s. God doesn’t create the dividing wall, our sinful behavior does. With so many today exclaiming their desire to be delivered from a considerable list of habits, addictions, and compulsive behaviors, I just can’t help but believe the reason God does not deliver us from particular sins that are a concern to us is that we remain unwilling to cooperate with Him in delivering us from other sins that He has already made known to us.

And while I am defining holy boundary lines let me be thorough and fair. Any perversion beyond God’s original divine intent for human sexuality which includes adultery, prostitution, promiscuity, homosexuality, and more, is thoroughly and repeatedly condemned in Scripture – 1 Corinthians 6:9; Romans 13:13; Galatians 5:19-21. Therefore, in terms of the single man or woman, Jesus could not have been more clear in defining if a person is not married the only acceptable option with God is celibacy. For the single person, celibacy is a good thing and should be our only choice if we want to live according to God’s word and plan. While the world continues to encourage every and any type of sexual expression under the sun, I wonder, has remaining celibate become so obsolete because we have become so enlightened in our under-standing of human sexuality? I think not.

May I be frank? Over the past thirty-five years since I’ve made a real commitment to follow Jesus, I have faced my share of intense temptation. But, I made a promise. Rather than caving in to complete despair because of the battle or desires of my flesh, I have always held on to the fact there was strength (overcoming strength) and hope because Jesus promised me that I would never, ever be forsaken or snatched from His hand (John 10:28). I assure you and can testify that that the Lord Jesus Christ will keep anyone who wants to be kept. “Yet in all these things we are more than conquerors through Him who loved us.” (Romans 8:37)

We have become far too impatient with things that take time. Today, we even want our own personal deliverance to be micro waved. Relax and enjoy the journey! I guarantee you every faithful follower of Christ Jesus is “…continuing to work out their own salvation with fear and trembling.” (Philippians 2:12)

Yes, in the midst of such a decadent culture, you have hope. Psalm 119:9-11 tells us, “How can a young man keep his way pure? By keeping it according to Your Word. With all my heart I have sought You; do not let me wander from Your commandments. Your Word I have treasured in my heart, that I may not sin against You.”

May you have the courage, conviction, and commitment to do what is right in His sight.

Pastor Phillip Lee
Executive Director
His Way Out Ministries

His Way Out has been faithfully ministering to men and women seeking a way out of sexually broken lifestyles since 1994. We could not do it without the support of Christians like you. Every dollar that you give to His Way Out Ministries helps to further this vital ministry. Won’t you take a minute to prayerfully consider a monthly donation to His Way Out? Please consider making a one-time donation or set up a secure monthly PayPal contribution on our donation page at https://www.hiswayout.com/donate/. Thank you, Pastor Phillip Lee

There is no doubt many Christians have been strongly influenced by the continuous parade of positive media representations of homosexuality.

It does “seem” that people today increasingly approve of homosexuality as a valid life option for friends and family members. But is that truly the case?

Both condemning and endorsing homosexuality miss the mark. A huge and significant shift needs to take place. The question is, “Are we willing to turn that high-powered perception upon ourselves and ask ourselves some very hard questions?”

• Are we willing to take responsibility for harsh words or inappropriate actions and apologize for any wrongs we may have committed out of ignorance?

• Are we willing to share the Scriptural truths about homosexuality such as: No one is born with same-sex attraction and change is possible?

• Do we truly see ourselves as God’s vehicle to reach wounded, broken, hurting humanity – which includes the sexually and relationally broken?

• Are we truly willing to educate ourselves on the complexities of same-sex attraction thereby dismantling the many lies and replacing them with the Scriptural truths about homosexuality?

In other words, might we become much more proactive in educating and equipping ourselves regarding true Christian ministry to those with unwanted same-sex attraction?

In doing so, we would move from the defense mode of the past several decades to reversing the current tide through understanding and education.

According to Scripture, there can never be any justification for treating homosexuality as morally equivalent to heterosexuality. That said, we are being asked to lower the bar on the clarity of Scripture with regard to homosexual practice which ultimately means faithful followers of Christ Jesus are being asked to set themselves in direct opposition to moral values clearly outlined in God’s Word.

Today, as the saying goes, “The ball is squarely in our court.” We cannot and must not underestimate ourselves. We hold the only answer there is to the crisis of homosexuality.

In other words, “Are we willing to be the change we wish to see in the world?”

If we truly desire to see current trends change regarding homosexuality and the many related issues, our response requires a combination of compassion and understanding. Scripture is abundantly clear in that homosexual practice is only one of the many types of behavior condemned in the Bible. Therefore, to condemn homosexuality really is an expression of compassion because it seeks to warn, if not rescue those snared by the brokenness of same-sex attraction.

I still believe in and have every confidence in the Church’s ability, through Christ, to lovingly communicate to the sexually broken that God’s mercy and grace are sufficient for transformation.

The key is education, education, education! We are all in this work together through Christ!

May God help us on that day when we are asked to give an account of how we responded to the difficult issue of homosexuality so that we might hear Him say, “Well done, good and faithful servant.” Matthew 25:21

Pastor Phillip Lee
Executive Director
His Way Out Ministries

His Way Out has been faithfully ministering to men and women seeking a way out of sexually broken lifestyles since 1994. We could not do it without the support of Christians like you. Every dollar that you give to His Way Out Ministries helps to further this vital ministry. Won’t you take a minute to prayerfully consider a monthly donation to His Way Out? Please consider making a one-time donation or set up a secure monthly PayPal contribution on our donation page at https://www.hiswayout.com/donate/. Thank you, Pastor Phillip Lee

You are sitting in church, listening to your pastor.

You are following along and taking notes on the very relevant topic of same-sex attraction because what is being shared is not only relevant to our culture but to you personally.

Sitting in church surrounded by fellow believers you are pretty comfortable and content.

But now, you have the task if not the monumental challenge of facing the son or daughter that sees nothing wrong with homosexual practice and is involved in a same-sex relationship.

You are now the one that gets to flesh out the truth you now know. How is that done? What do you do? What don’t you do?

What does representing Christ Jesus in this matter look like?

First and foremost, let’s put even this crisis in it’s proper context. Embrace the promise of Romans 8:28 that God makes everything – even calamities – work for our good.

• My first encouragement is learn as much as you can about the causes of homosexuality. Simply knowing it is wrong is not even close to being enough.

• Don’t run the matter into the ground every time you see your son or daughter. Often, there can be a good reason(s) for not dealing with a problem right now.

• Do everything you can to keep the lines of communication open and maintain your relationship. If you feel you have been batting your head against the wall seeking resolution of ‘the problem,’ take a rest. It may not be God’s time to deal with the issue.

• Make sure your son or daughter is aware of your belief and position regarding homosexual practice. Heaven knows, God can deal with and use our mistakes but He cannot deal with our inaction. Be clear and precise.

• Do not argue about homosexuality. The very moment the conversation erupts into anger – drop it! Badgering will only produce pushing the individual the wrong direction. Many problems and issues in life are often solved very indirectly; not when we are consciously dealing with them, but when we are going about our normal lives.

• It is imperative to distinguish between “acceptance and approval.” It is important to separate, both in our own minds and to our loved ones, their individual worth from the acts of homosexuality they may be committing.

• Stay completely away from Christian cliches such as: “God created Adam and Eve not Adam and Steve” and “Love the sinner but hate the sin.” Christian cliches only reinforce the belief of many with same-sex attraction that the Christian community is unwilling to truly educate themselves on the complexities of same-sex attraction.

• Do not hesitate to admit when and where the Church has been wrong with regard to men and women with same-sex attraction. We, the Church, have made mistakes and in some cases owe the gay community an apology.

• Refrain from attacking the character of homosexuals when discussing homosexuality. Keep to the real issue: “The real issue is whether or not homosexual practice is, in and of itself, moral.”

• Do not be discouraged if your conversations do not produce instant fruit. What we will answer to God for is speaking truth lovingly and plainly – not for how our loved one responds.

• Be relentless in looking for every opportunity to share it is a personal relationship with Jesus Christ and the indwelling presence of His Spirit which is the foundation needed to overcome same-sex attraction.

• Release control. Let God decide how to bring freedom. God is the only One who can bring about change in the homosexual.

• Let the son, daughter and everyone know that God has a reputation of transforming trapped people with damaged sexualities. “And such were some of you” applies to all Christians who had formerly participated in homosexuality. (1 Corinthians 6:9-11)

• And, remember, those entangled in sin, of course, will have weak faith, so be merciful to those who doubt. (Jude 22)

Somewhere I read, “Hope is not the conviction that something will turn out well, but the certainty that something makes sense, regardless of how it turns out.

”When Jesus Christ is “there,” life has infinite possibilities.

Pastor Phillip Lee
Executive Director
His Way Out Ministries

His Way Out has been faithfully ministering to men and women seeking a way out of sexually broken lifestyles since 1994. We could not do it without the support of Christians like you. Every dollar that you give to His Way Out Ministries helps to further this vital ministry. Won’t you take a minute to prayerfully consider a monthly donation to His Way Out? Please consider making a one-time donation or set up a secure monthly PayPal contribution on our donation page at https://www.hiswayout.com/donate/. Thank you, Pastor Phillip Lee

Speaking as one that spent 17 years in the formidable gay communities of Los Angeles, New York City and San Francisco, I know all too well there are radical gay-identified men and women who will not listen to anything the Christian community has to say.

Their ears are closed and their hearts have become so completely hardened that nothing Christians say will make a difference. Many have completely severed any and all bridges of communication, except for name-calling.

However, there remain men and women practicing homosexuality who would walk away from it if they thought they really could. Having bought into the notion of “once gay, always gay” as I did for many years, they still experience a sense of the wrongness of what they are doing but feel completely trapped with no way out.

To be frank, these are the men and women we have often failed, many of whom are in our churches.

Again, speaking from years of living as a gay-identified man, many in the gay community are hurting because they, just as I did, compulsively act out behavior to mask and cover pain.

Too often, we the Christian community, have failed to draw a distinction between the radical gay community and the individuals sitting in church who might be confused about their gender. Or between gay activists and the son or daughter who has adopted the gay identity but still is looking for a way out.

Please know and understand the radical gay community, gay activists in particular, do not speak for all gay-identified men and women. Frankly, gay activists often, very often, give the gay community a very bad rap.

My point?

We, the Christian community, we do not like it when others paint us with a big brush, let’s not do the same with the gay community.

Draw a clear distinction between the radical gay agenda and the men and women with unwanted same-sex attraction who are seeking help and hope.

The first word from the Church to the gay community should be that we ourselves need repentance.

Pastor Phillip Lee
Executive Director
His Way Out Ministries

His Way Out has been faithfully ministering to men and women seeking a way out of sexually broken lifestyles since 1994. We could not do it without the support of Christians like you. Every dollar that you give to His Way Out Ministries helps to further this vital ministry. Won’t you take a minute to prayerfully consider a monthly donation to His Way Out? Please consider making a one-time donation or set up a secure monthly PayPal contribution on our donation page at https://www.hiswayout.com/donate/. Thank you, Pastor Phillip Lee