“My flesh and my heart fail; but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever.” Psalm 73:26

Have you ever noticed how good many people are at masking crisis, trauma, fear, anxiety and “where is this thing called life going?”

No matter how we might present ourselves, often, very often, buried just below the surface is an overwhelming sense that something isn’t quite right or outright wrong. We become uncomfortable when someone puts us on the spot, we purpose to play things safe especially when something arises that we just don’t understand, we talk about “those things” that tend to make us look really good, we offer the illusion that we are more spiritual than we really are, we avoid people and topics that tend to place us in uncomfortable surroundings and potentially bring unwanted and difficult emotions to the surface.

Scratch just below the surface and it only takes a split second to realize that regardless of just how much we have changed, we still have a very long way to go. Each and every one of us know things about ourselves that no one would ever guess happened or is presently going on. Things we have done behind closed doors, fantasies, considerations, thoughts, secrets that only God Himself knows. The sometimes-overwhelming reality that something is wrong can be utterly consuming.

Oh, we are most definitely purposed to be and do better. However, the “one step forward and two steps back” seems to surface all too often. Tragically, the scenario brings huge amounts of shame, a desire to withdraw and isolate, to hide. We simply do not want to run the risk of being rejected one more time.

How well I remember when I was a little guy, my stepfather taking me to a horror flick that so frightened me and impacted my life, I became convinced the boogieman had moved into our house and had set up residence directly under my bed. Admittedly, my fears were unfounded, but they were also genuine. There was no boogieman but there was definitely something wrong. Unlike the boogieman, life’s problems are real.

When the world comes crashing through and reality hits, we are often inclined to do whatever is necessary to regain a sense of well-being. Eat something sweet, join the church choir, read a book, surrender our life (again) to God – anything to relieve that nagging sense that something isn’t quite right.

Isn’t it amazing how we can become so fixed and persuaded that if everything is looking good on the outside then the same must be true of what is going on within? God intends on each and every one of us doing much more than just spray washing the exterior.

He takes us deep within to the nooks, crannies, and fathomless craters of our soul to experience His presence when we feel most alone and void of hope. Indeed, the backside of the desert is often where God perfects His promises and enables us to face reality as it truly is which includes our hurts, fears, resentments and address certain motives that we often keep hidden so that we can emerge as changed people. Certainly, not perfect, but more able to deeply and genuinely love other people as well as ourselves because we are more aware of His love.

Yes, life is trying, demanding, at times overwhelming, relationships too difficult, and responsibilities too difficult for any of us to do what is expected of us and deny that we have problems and troubles. While I am a bit cautious of constant personal introspection, some understanding of what is happening and going on inside will often help us to see what changes need to occur on the inside in order to effectively and genuinely impact external changes.

Personally, I have found that my truly knowing God often occurs most when the winds of adversity are blowing, and reality is confusing. Not being willing to weather the storms of life and ask myself the hard questions and face the hard issues all but dismisses intimate, wonderful transforming encounters with God.

Ultimately, it is that which lies just beneath the surface and the sense that something isn’t quite right becomes yet another opportunity for me and the Holy Spirit to deal honestly with “the stuff” and develop faith, hope, love and an awareness that I need to develop a trusting awareness of Christ Jesus more than ever.

Yes, this journey called ‘life’ is often marked by numerous twists and turns and while just below the surface may be a sense that I have much more surrendering, relinquishing, and obeying to accomplish, deeper yet is the awareness, knowing and comfort that God will never keep His distance from me.

I know what it is to catch a glimpse of the reality of God that often overwhelms me with His goodness, His majesty, His love. It is during those times that I become acutely aware that I am deeply, purely and profoundly loved by God the Father.

That knowing – runs much, much deeper than just below the surface.

“My flesh and my heart fail; but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever.” Psalm 73:26

Pastor Phillip Lee
Executive Director
His Way Out Ministries

His Way Out has been faithfully ministering to men and women seeking a way out of sexually broken lifestyles since 1994. We could not do it without the support of Christians like you. Every dollar that you give to His Way Out Ministries helps to further this vital ministry. Won’t you take a minute to prayerfully consider a monthly donation to His Way Out? Please consider making a one-time donation or set up a secure monthly PayPal contribution on our donation page at https://www.hiswayout.com/donate/. Thank you, Pastor Phillip Lee

One of those “elephant in the sanctuary” topics many prefer to dismiss and avoid.

I suppose I could have titled this article, “Abstinence,” but then I am fairly confident that the majority would not take the time to read the content. However, of all the challenges that we face as the Church in today’s society, sexuality, and more specifically, being single and a Christian, is undoubtedly one of the greatest.

While some Christians are married and some are single, it is abundantly clear that more are married than single. For the single person, abstinence is a good thing and should be our only choice if we want to live according to God’s Word and plan. While the world continues to encourage every type of sexual expression under the sun, I wonder, has remaining celibate become obsolete because we have become so enlightened in our understanding of human sexuality? I think not.

What accounts for the huge sexual shifts in our society and today, too often within the Body of Christ?

Today, without a doubt, anything goes. There is no right or wrong. Not only this, but personal morals are equated with legal rights. In the 1960’s, “Sex Makes Free,” was a familiar slogan. Sex was often viewed and hailed as a universal “fix” for loneliness and human emptiness. Today, sex is looked on more and more as a constitutionally guaranteed right – a right to fulfill one’s biological drives however one sees fit, a right to dismiss, if not discard, a spouse for greener pastures and a right to pursue any sexual orientation one desires.

My intent in writing this article is not to preach at you, to tell you right from wrong, or anything along that line (I’m sure you know all the same Bible scriptures that I do about remaining celibate as a single Christian). However, I remain greatly concerned about Christian men and Christian women that are indeed having sex and having sex frequently.

What does it mean to be Christian and single? The best definition would be to live a life devoted to God, attending church regularly, having times of fellowship with friends, and being a good friend, brother, mother, father, etc. Oh, and as a single person – not having sex.

Maybe, just maybe, with the ever-increasing societal acceptance of sex before marriage, it’s just become easy, even for Christians, to justify or rationalize having sex before marriage. At least in part, I am convinced that in many cases this is due to a lack of understanding of the dividing wall that it creates between our spirit and God’s. Frankly, in today’s society, it (sexual purity) just isn’t a top priority. Maybe you’ve noticed. “I Surrender All,” isn’t at the top of the charts today.

However, beyond the obvious advantages of abstinence is the application and adherence to Scripture for the single person. When anyone, male or female, heterosexual or homosexual, makes the conscious choice to stray beyond God’s holy boundary lines, we bring the possibility of terrible consequences upon ourselves by our rebellion and disobedience. Sexual sin causes an immediate dividing wall between our spirit and God’s. God does not create the dividing wall; our sinful behavior does. Ok, so maybe I’m preaching a bit here, but there most definitely is something about sexual sin that does a huge amount of damage to a single man or woman.

Anything we do that affects one part of our being (such as our body), also affects the other parts of our being (soul and spirit). As a result, when sexual sin occurs, which is war against our own body, as well a sin against God, we bring negative consequences upon our soul and spirit as well. Heaven knows the volumes that could be written in terms of the emotional damage alone caused by sexual sin.

The Apostle Peter made this point in 1 Peter 2:11, when he pleaded: “I urge you, as aliens and strangers in the world, to abstain from sinful desires, which war against your soul.” That’s why I believe to define human sexuality (sex) just in physical terms misses the most important aspect of human sexuality – the spiritual. Sexuality is not just something that joins our bodies; it also involves the joining of our spirits. Therefore, since our sexuality links the spiritual to the physical, no amount of ‘just physical activity’ can ever create or offer the wholeness for which every single man and woman hopes for and desires.

I don’t know. Maybe it’s because I am getting up there in years and still single, that I am becoming increasingly aware of the social stigma against premarital sex that has practically become a thing of the past. Today, and I include myself even at this stage in life, thanks to the media and the so-called sexual revolution, singles are now made to feel as if something is wrong with them if they don’t have sex before marriage. However, “it” (sexual purity) was something that was instilled in me from day one of my becoming a Christian.

It just seemed to me that as a single man, that was God’s given design for me as a single man. Now, that doesn’t mean there haven’t been times of “fighting the flesh.” I am not ashamed to admit that living a chaste life as a single Christian has its fair share of struggles and challenges.

Very often today, American society in particular regularly challenges the Christian belief system. It’s not so much they’re asking if it’s true, but rather, does it work?

Yes, living life according to a Bible-based belief system really does work. But in order to stand firm today as a single Christian man or woman, one must draw close to the Lord for that is where we get our strength. In the practical sense, it means participating in a Bible study group and having a solid network of accountability partners – partners with whom you get brutally frank, honest, and transparent.

While taking the road of sexual purity is not for the faint of heart, there remains a way to live out God-centered principles in a culturally-sensitive environment.

Yes, God’s plans are always bigger and better than our own – especially and specifically when it comes to relationships, love, and sex for the single person.

Holiness with reference to our sexuality means one of two things.

If you are married, complete faithfulness to your spouse of the opposite sex. Or if you are single, complete faithfulness through abstinence.

God would not call us to a standard, a way of living, that He would not also enable us to meet.

There remains great reward in living life God’s way.

Pastor Phillip Lee
Executive Director
His Way Out Ministries

His Way Out has been faithfully ministering to men and women seeking a way out of sexually broken lifestyles since 1994. We could not do it without the support of Christians like you. Every dollar that you give to His Way Out Ministries helps to further this vital ministry. Won’t you take a minute to prayerfully consider a monthly donation to His Way Out? Please consider making a one-time donation or set up a secure monthly PayPal contribution on our donation page at https://www.hiswayout.com/donate/. Thank you, Pastor Phillip Lee

There is no doubt the winds of social change have and continue to blow aimlessly across America with continued and relentless emphasis being placed upon “tolerance,” which is to be extended to everyone and anyone without limitation, and to any and all forms of sexual expression.

Is there nothing wrong with sex as long as it is consensual? And if there is something wrong, what is it? Does it really come down to a matter of personal taste, of private sentiment and personal choice? Have we become a nation, a world that gains a sense of purpose and meaning primarily from our sexual desires and behavior?

Many have chosen and are choosing to blatantly reject the Authority of Scripture in matters of faith, practice and God’s holy boundary lines with regard to sexual expression.

On every hand you find those, “who call evil good and good evil, who put darkness for light and light for darkness…” (Isaiah 5:20)

With all sorts of opinions consuming the airwaves, media, and the internet, it appears everything is now up for question, debate, and compromise; sexual expression in particular.

America’s blind, amoral pursuit of pleasure at any price, and in any form, has indeed perpetuated the social and dark spiritual dynamics which have birthed and inflamed the various forms of sexual perversion.

While there are those still attempting to make The Bible and Christianity socially and culturally relevant by rewriting and redefining biblical standards, I find tremendous comfort and strength in knowing God’s Word remains steadfast from generation to generation. Therefore, it remains crucial that each and every true faithful follower of Christ Jesus understands and embraces “thus saith the Lord” when it comes to God’s divine intent for human sexuality and other issues of our time.

God has not been mocked nor will He will not be mocked. There is no way, it is impossible for anyone to legitimately rewrite or circumvent what God prohibits. Anyone choosing to practice any behavior that God has clearly defined as sin, cannot glorify God and will eventually downward spiral.

The Lord Jesus has not changed, nor will He ever alter His Word to accommodate man’s sinful desires, choices and behaviors.

The reality of an across-the-board crisis of sexual and relational brokenness in America clearly points to an increasing inability, as a society, to make healthy and moral distinctions. Even those who place a high premium on tolerance are obligated to recognize that matters of various sexual lifestyles now threaten the very values and institutions on which a solid and vital society is built and sustained.

Today, more than ever, responsible American citizens who truly care for the greater social good of America are obligated to impose, if not place under the microscope, a moral gaze on their sexual behavior. Unfortunately, not every American is willing or responsive enough to such an obligation.

What’s more, they do not want anyone to hold them responsible. Those who have the self-respect to recognize that a person is not reducible to his or her desires or behavior truly exhibit a concern for social justice, personal responsibility, and a true love for this nation which seeks nothing higher than the welfare of people – all people.

How is it in choosing to dismiss and disregard a moral compass, we are shocked by what has transpired in our nation?

Even so, shocked at what has happened and continues to spread in the Church?

Speaking as someone that was trapped for many years in a behavior and lifestyle, thinking there was no way out, I completely understand how anyone might have difficulty in believing in and receiving God’s forgiveness and restoration.

“But Jesus Christ is the same yesterday, today and forever.” (Hebrews 13:8) God remains rich in mercy and remains willing to deliver anyone. “He is forever our great Sin-bearer and the God who forgives.” (Psalm 99:8)

America is in need of huge and immediate change. I believe the Church should be out front by showing the way to bring it about. If things continue in this wonderful nation as they have, America and the Church will remain adrift without a moral compass.

The Church must stop the down-playing, the silent-mode, the ignoring, the dismissal, the setting-aside of God’s moral and ethical “holy boundary lines” for living, with regard to sexual expression. All faithful followers of Christ Jesus are called to a higher standard which requires all faithful followers of Christ Jesus to be discipled in the full, total, and complete Word of God.

Silence, in particular, is undeniably an earmark of a dysfunctional family, because the real problems are never discussed and resolved. It’s imperative that the Body of Christ stand against current trends in today’s society that have and continue to distort human sexuality as God intended and created it.

It is only when we embrace the entirety and truth of Scripture without compromise; Jesus empowers us to walk in His perfect design and purpose.

Pastor Phillip Lee
Executive Director
His Way Out Ministries

Please consider making a donation at www.hiswayout.com/donate. Thank you, Pastor Phillip Lee

The book of James sheds light on this important question: “But each one is tempted when, by his own evil desire, he is dragged away and enticed. Then, after desire has conceived, it gives birth to sin.” (James 1:14-15)

There is always a time gap between conception and birth. A thought occurring in our mind can be either killed or nurtured. If it grows, it gives birth to sin. That is where our ability to choose comes into effect. We make the choice whether or not an improper heterosexual or homosexual sexual thought (temptation) will become sin.

It’s a fact that much of modern society is preoccupied, if not consumed by sex. Today, many Christian men and women are highly disturbed by their sexual feelings. For some, sexual obsession has become a form of worship. Anytime we give our hearts, minds and bodies over to remain in a state of sexual arousal, we are indeed doing exactly what the Apostle Paul talks about when he refers to worshiping created things rather than the Creator.

“Therefore, God gave them over in the sinful desires of their hearts to sexual impurity for the degrading of their bodies with one another. They exchanged the truth of God for a lie, and worshiped and served created things rather than the Creator – who is forever praised. Amen. (Romans 1:24-25)

As the prophet asked in Ezekiel 33:10, “How should we then live?” In a society that is so permeated by sex that even the most dedicated Christian is affected. More specifically, how does a Christian man or woman face and deal with sexual temptations?

First, we must understand and believe the clarity of Scripture that Jesus, our Savior and High Priest was tempted Himself and understands our temptation. Please embrace and take comfort in Hebrews 4:14-16: “Therefore, since we have a great high priest who has gone through the heavens, Jesus the Son of God, let us hold firmly to the faith we profess. For we do not have a high priest who is unable to sympathize with our weaknesses, but we have one who has been tempted in every way, just as we are – yet was without sin. Let us then approach the throne of grace with confidence, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help us in our time of need.”

It is a fact that God knows our struggles, understands and forgives our failures. More than not, the questions most people face when confronted with temptation is not “Does God care?” but “Do I care?” Clearly, within Scripture God has made an abundance of resources available to us that we are sometimes unwilling to employ. Therefore, let’s be honest. We sin because we choose to sin rather than because we are left without resources by a God who doesn’t care.

According to the Apostle Paul in 1 Corinthians 10:13, “No temptation has seized us except what is common to man. And God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, he will also provide a way out so that you can stand up under it.” Clearly, when we choose to ignore the resources offered to us by God, we fail.

Every now and then, I am challenged by someone that feels I should not speak so frankly and openly about sexual and relational brokenness. The view, by some, is that by making people aware I may be encouraging them to participate. I do listen, even trying to take them seriously due to their usage of the following:

“The night is nearly over; the day is almost here. So let us put aside the deeds of darkness and put on the armor of light. Let us behave decently, as in the daytime, not in orgies and drunkenness, not in sexual immorality and debauchery, not in dissension and jealousy. Rather, clothe yourselves with the Lord Jesus Christ, and do not think about how to gratify the desires of the sinful nature.” (Romans 13:12-14)

While I do respect their opinion, I still believe we must know the enemy and understand both the subtle and the obvious ways he tries to affect us. Making people aware of dangers is not the same as thinking about how to gratify the desires of the sinful nature.

So, what do you and I do when we fail? Ultimately, it’s pretty easy to keep the right focus and attitude when sexual temptations have been resisted successfully. However, when any man or woman has given into sexual temptation, “What’s the use?” is all too common to surface. “I’ve blown it and so I just might as well do some other things also,” is anything but the thought, attitude or approach recommended by Jesus. I guarantee you that in adopting or embracing these mentioned thoughts or actions will only lead to deep guilt as well as continued sexual frustration and spiritual frustration also.

When Jesus confronted individuals who had sinned and who were truly repentant, His response was always the same. He forgave the sin but also challenged the person to forsake it and begin living a better way. Once our sin has been admitted and we see our sin as God sees it, it is imperative we place our full attention and focus on our Savior and no longer upon our sin. Do not remain in a mode of mentally replaying your sin. That, in and of itself, can become an obsession.

When we are purposed to keep our eyes on Jesus, we see victory. This absolutely gives us hope. However, when we continue to fix our eyes on our recurring brokenness or sin, we will see only defeat which can easily transcend to becoming ashamed even to look at Jesus. We must keep our focus and attention on our source of hope rather than that which is broken. That is exactly why a regular time of reading Scripture and praying is essential. It puts our attention on Christ where it belongs.

One more time – look at the Savior, not at the sin.

I really believe that any discussion about sexual temptation would be incomplete without a look at the way David dealt with his own sin. David was brutally honest with God, which just may be why, despite his sin, he was called a man after God’s own heart. In Psalm 51:5-12 he writes:

“Surely, I have been a sinner from birth, sinful from the time my mother conceived me. Surely you desire truth in the inner parts; you teach me wisdom in the inmost place. Cleanse me with hyssop, and I will be clean; wash me, and I will be whiter than snow. Let me hear joy and gladness; let the bones you have crushed rejoice. Hide your face from my sins and blot out all my iniquity. Create in me a pure heart, O God, and renew a steadfast spirit within me. Do not cast me away from your presence or take your Holy Spirit from me. Restore to me the joy of our salvation and grant me a willing spirit, to sustain me.”

In Christ Jesus, you can find a kindred spirit who knows your experience through his own.

Facing down temptation is one way suffering sanctifies because it brings us closer to God.

God would never call us to a standard He would not also empower us to meet.

There is a way out.

Pastor Phillip Lee
Executive Director
His Way Out Ministries

His Way Out has been faithfully ministering to men and women seeking a way out of sexually broken lifestyles since 1994. We could not do it without the support of Christians like you. Every dollar that you give to His Way Out Ministries helps to further this vital ministry. Won’t you take a minute to prayerfully consider a monthly donation to His Way Out? Please consider making a one-time donation or set up a secure monthly PayPal contribution on our donation page at https://www.hiswayout.com/donate/. Thank you, Pastor Phillip Lee

His Way Out Ministries (HWOM) celebrating 30 years of ministry in North America, South America and the Caribbean.

In 1994, His Way Out Ministries was founded with the expressed purpose of raising awareness and encouraging the Body of Christ to minister transformingly to those who struggle with sexual and relational brokenness through a personal relationship with Jesus Christ in the healing power of the Holy Spirit.

Seeing the evidence of sexual brokenness all around us, we believe that men and women who struggle with homosexuality, addiction to pornography, lesbianism, etc. must have answers to their questions. And we believe those answers are available through a dynamic encounter with Jesus Christ.

Our concern is for the sexually broken and our desire is to minister to those in need within the church and the community at large, using the truth of Scripture, the power of our testimony, and the dialogue of issues.

Our position rests on the authority of Scripture versus the interpretations of some of the social sciences and medicine. His Way Out Ministries Services are centered on the biblical foundations of compassion, integrity, and dependence on God.

We live in a sexually broken society in which homosexual practice, adultery, and fornication are sins that call for repentance and openness to the transforming power of God. We believe in the ministry of the church to assist those who desire sexual wholeness.

And while we do not condone the practice of homosexuality, adultery, or fornication, and consider such practice incompatible with Christian teaching and conduct, we believe that God’s grace is available to all who repent.

We believe that through a personal relationship with Jesus Christ and the healing power of the Holy Spirit, often mediated by extended and competent ministry, prayer, and a caring Christian community, the sexually broken can experience transformation and restoration towards wholeness.

We repudiate any non-loving, prejudicial attitudes that deny Christ’s unconditional love for all people and declare such behavior to be sin. Our intent is to extend a compassionate Christian ministry to everyone.

We remain committed to effectively and compassionately communicating God’s heart concerning sexual brokenness and wholeness, while disputing the unchangeable nature of sexual orientation.

Photos: His Way Out Ministries Executive Board and The Bakersfield Californian in 1994, our local newspaper, offering a full page article sharing details of our ministry launch. To God be the glory!

Pastor Phillip Lee
Executive Director
His Way Out Ministries

His Way Out has been faithfully ministering to men and women seeking a way out of sexually broken lifestyles since 1994. We could not do it without the support of Christians like you. Every dollar that you give to His Way Out Ministries helps to further this vital ministry. Won’t you take a minute to prayerfully consider a monthly donation to His Way Out? Please consider making a one-time donation or set up a secure monthly PayPal contribution on our donation page at https://www.hiswayout.com/donate/. Thank you, Pastor Phillip Lee

Before you do, please consider this question: “Are you free to be a witness for Christ?”

Today, many wonder whether they have “done too much” that is sinful for God to use them. The reality is that none of us deserve to be partners with God in ministry. But God has chosen to work through the redeemed. If there ever was a time to affirm the truth that Paul wrote:

“Although I am less than the least of all God’s people, this grace was given me: to preach to the Gentiles the unsearchable riches of Christ, and to make plain to everyone the administration of this mystery.” (Ephesians 3:8-9)

The time is now for God’s people to operate and go forward in the authority of Christ Jesus. When Jesus ascended into heaven, He essentially left His ministry to His earliest disciples. Today, as followers of Christ Jesus, we have received the same power to bring about the fruition of the same mandate, which is to make disciples of the Lord Jesus Christ, baptizing and teaching them.

In essence, discipleship is leading an individual to maturity in Christ, and as you mature, it is important to make other disciples. Intrinsic to making disciples is witnessing for Christ.

But what does it mean to “witness”?

I am convinced if someone is completely and truly freed to witness, it will come naturally.

Jesus taught two principles that have guided me in being His witness. First, don’t put a shade over your lamp – Luke 8. Second, “Out of the overflow of (a man’s) heart his mouth speaks” (Luke 6:45).

In other words, to be Christ’s witness means simply not to conceal who God has called you to be, and to sincerely share what you have come to believe.

The Apostle Peter puts it this way: “Always be prepared to give an answer to everyone who asks you to give the reason for the hope you have. But do this with gentleness and respect….” (1 Peter 3:15)

Making a disciple may include deliberately making friends with “those people” and inevitably and naturally being a witness for Christ in their life.

Today, we cannot assume anyone knows anything about the Gospel. Therefore, quote what Jesus said and what you have learned to be true. Also, don’t represent yourself a whole lot differently to non-believers than to Christians.

The world is in desperate need of Christians being genuine and consistent.

So, let me ask you once again, “Are you free to be a witness for Christ?” If not, acknowledge your need for deliverance by asking God to set you free.

Rather than making another empty New Year’s resolution, how about making a commitment, possibly a re-commitment, by embracing to mind, heart and spirit, followed by application and action, the words of the Prophet Isaiah:

Lead out those who have eyes but are blind, who have ears but are deaf. All the nations gather together, and the peoples assemble. Which of them foretold this and proclaimed to us the former things? Let them bring in their witnesses to prove they were right so that others may hear and say, “It is true.” “You are my witnesses,” declares the Lord, “and my servant whom I have chosen, so that you may know and believe me and understand that I am He. Before me no god was formed, nor will there be one after me. I, even I, am the Lord, and apart from me there is no savior. I have revealed and saved and proclaimed – I, and not some foreign god among you.

You are my witnesses,” declares the Lord, “that I am God.” (Isaiah 43:8-12)

The greatest evil in the world today just may be indifference.

Truly, out of the abundance of the heart, the mouth must speak.

Pastor Phillip Lee
Executive Director
His Way Out Ministries

His Way Out has been faithfully ministering to men and women seeking a way out of sexually broken lifestyles since 1994. We could not do it without the support of Christians like you. Every dollar that you give to His Way Out Ministries helps to further this vital ministry. Won’t you take a minute to prayerfully consider a monthly donation to His Way Out? Please consider making a one-time donation or set up a secure monthly PayPal contribution on our donation page at https://www.hiswayout.com/donate/. Thank you, Pastor Phillip Lee

Picking up the pieces of life after receiving disturbing news is a difficult task. Hopefully and prayerfully the article content will help to see the reality of what has happened, let go of the person just at a time when feelings often dictate, we need to hang on harder, accept responsibility for our own actions as they relate to the situation, and ultimately grow spiritually through it all.

By looking through the eyes of faith, we become positioned to learn the lessons the Lord has for us in this situation.

To that end, in light of our acceptance of reality, we can ask, “What now, Lord?” rather than “Why?”

For Christian parents, in particular, wading through the tsunami of emotions that accompany the announcement of, “Mom, Dad, I’m gay!” are all but swallowed-up in, “Why has this happened to our family, what do we do now, and Who is to blame?”

Mom, Dad, first and foremost remember that you are a child of God, and He has plans to, “prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” He has promised to be with you always, no matter what kind of calamity or mud pit in which you may find yourself.

Give yourself permission to wade through the myriad of real and genuine emotions. Without a doubt, a considerably strong emotion that will surface at some point is anger.

The Bible tells us, “In your anger do not sin.” (Ephesians 4:26)

It is Ok for a Christian to get angry. Just do not allow your anger to become misdirected. Misdirected anger is useless.

While it is a given most parents experience some measure of guilt regarding the homosexuality of their child, seeking to place blame on friends and other people, circumstances and even God, is often a misdirected attempt to help cope with the situation.

Parents, the brokenness of same-sex attraction is far too complex for you to place all of the blame upon yourselves. If you are hearing the accusation of, “this is all your fault,” I guarantee you that is the voice of the enemy of your soul.

The challenge? To look through the eyes of faith which enables the acceptance of the present reality and ultimately produces, “What now, Lord?” rather than, “Why?” In other words, hold on to God’s promises.

Loving a wayward child the way God loves them means loving them unconditionally. It also means accepting the truth and reality that only God can bring about the change in them you hope and pray to witness.

It wasn’t until many years down the road of a new life in Christ Jesus that my mother shared with me, “You don’t know how many times in prayer I got in the enemy’s face and said ‘I don’t care what he has done or even how many times he has done it, in Jesus’ Name, devil, you can’t have him any more!'”

Choose today to “act” rather than “react” to the unwanted circumstance(s) that have come into your life. Seek a care group, a community in which you can be real by sharing your legitimate concerns. Those in the group need not be experts on the subject of homosexuality and they may not have ever experienced this kind of crisis themselves, but if they are compassionate people, they can give you a great deal of emotional support and nurturing.

Scripture clearly defines the Church as family. (1 Timothy 5:1-2; 2 Timothy 1:2-5; Hebrews 12:7-10). Having a safe environment and opportunity to be transparent with one another enables opportunity to unlock the excessive pressures of this journey called life and relieves pent-up emotions.

Keep Romans 8:28 forever in your heart. God’s promise that, “all things work together for good,” even when things seem to be shattered should take a high position on the priority list of verses on suffering.

At His Way Out Ministries, we have found and continue to see and understand the wisdom of Ecclesiastes 4:9-10, “two can accomplish more than twice as much as one, for the results can be much better. If one falls, the other pulls him up; but if a man falls when he is alone, he is in trouble.”

God loves to walk in and turn things around. He loves to do what looks humanly impossible.

Pastor Phillip Lee
Executive Director
His Way Out Ministries

Please consider making a donation at www.hiswayout.com/donate. Thank you, Pastor Phillip Lee

Regarding the silencing and censorship of Christians and Ex-LGBT identified individuals…

A few friends and ministry colleagues find it fascinating, if not intriguing, I remain in dialog with members of the LGBT community, including gay activists.

While not entirely, our conversation(s) and our exchange largely began because I became concerned and alarmed with all the media attention given to the bullying of members of the LGBT community, and, not much, to my knowledge, was or is being offered, mentioned, or discussed regarding the hate that is often spewed and perpetrated against men and women that have said, “No” to homosexual practice and have rejected the LGBT-identity.

I am confident many today are not aware there continues to be men and women with unwanted same-sex attraction that have and are making the personal decision to leave homosexuality. As a result, formerly LGBT-identified men and women are often reviled simply because they dare to exist.

Should not “diversity” and “tolerance” be a two-way street by recognizing and including the once LGBT-identified man or woman? We are real, and we are here.

Thirty-nine years ago, I said goodbye to homosexuality and the gay identity. Like all faithful followers of Christ Jesus, I had to face the decision of accepting or rejecting Christ’s Lordship. Coming out of homosexuality required deep emotional healing and a restructuring of my whole identity, as our Creator, God, is the only One who knows exactly how to restore our personality.

I remember so vividly when coming to know Christ at the age of 35, what it meant for the first time in my life to be a man. But more importantly, what it meant to be a godly man. For me to deny or not share what Christ has done in my life would be the equivalent of denying Him.

Thankfully and gratefully, I am far from the only individual that has experienced change. God has not been silent to the cries of men and women wanting freedom from homosexual feelings and behavior. Many have experienced the power of Christ to address the deep needs of both men and women trapped in same-gender struggles.

One gay activist challenged me by stating, “Phillip, while I commend you regarding your concern about ‘intolerance,’ I just can’t get my head around (ex-gay). Why don’t you just be true to yourself?”

“Be true to myself?”

“That is exactly what I am doing.”

What makes one individual happy and content may not make someone else happy, because we are all individuals. I, like any man or woman, deserve the right to self-determination and happiness. To give sexual orientation protection to one group while excluding another is outright discrimination.

Without testimony from all sectors of society, including the once LGBT-identified community, public policy on the topic of homosexuality is seriously flawed.

Ex-LGBT-identified men and women are routinely denied equal access to participate in public school events and present on diversity day.

Ex-LGBT-identified conferences, workshops and seminars are frequently picketed by pro-gay protesters.

Transgender individuals are affirmed for changing their gender, but former LGBT-identified men and women are ridiculed for making the decision to address and change their sexual orientation.

Ex-LGBT-identified men and women are subject to an increasingly hostile environment where they are labeled as perpetrators of (hate) simply because they advocate for or live out a different belief and view of homosexuality.

Ex-LGBT-identified men and women are criticized and face lifelong intolerance for simply existing as living proof that homosexuality is not innate.

Frankly, the welfare of individuals, society, and the Church as a whole depends on our facing the subject of homosexuality honestly, compassionately, and courageously.

Yes, homosexuals have the right, as do others, to believe that homosexual behavior should be accepted as normal. However, they do not have the right to demand everyone else agree with them.

True love is loving in spite of our differences and treating each other with kindness and respect. This is what it means to live in a society in which freedom of speech, religion (and belief) is guaranteed.

I’m real. I’m here. I will not be silent.

Pastor Phillip Lee
Executive Director
His Way Out Ministries

Please consider making a donation at www.hiswayout.com/donate. Thank you, Pastor Phillip Lee

Affirm Truth – Not Culture

Today, faithfulness, obedience, allegiance, and courage require the telling of “truth” that is often not safe to tell.

While a segment of the Church continues to consciously and deliberately avoid the subject of homosexuality, God, however, is not silent and has never been silent. As true faithful followers of Christ Jesus, we take the Bible in its entirety or not at all. We do not have the luxury of randomly selecting portions of Scripture and discarding the rest.

God’s Word is not a thing that a person can push around at their convenience.

The Bible is a Voice, a Word, the very Word of the living God.

The Church must call homosexual practice sin, and that will remain offensive to many. We cannot water down God’s Word. There is no doubt our courage will be tested, there will even be times when some must stand alone and defend what is right.

As Paul said to Timothy: “At my first defense, no one came to my support, but everyone deserted me.” (2 Timothy 4:16)

Maybe more than ever, a true faithful follower of Christ Jesus has crucified his rights and is willing to be completely and fully led by God’s Spirit. He fears God, that is, he has a healthy awe and respect for God and does not take God lightly. We, as God’s people, should not be out to advance the claims of a church, of a nation, of an ideology, but of Jesus Himself.

There can be no true compassion, integrity, and outreach if the Name, the teachings, the promises, the life, the death, the resurrection, and the transformation power of the Holy Spirit are not proclaimed – and, proclaimed to the virtually untouched mission field around the world called ‘the gay community’.

“Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous! Do not tremble or be dismayed, for the LORD your God is with you wherever you go.” (Joshua 1:9)

What is stopping so many today in defending the Authority of Scripture with regard to homosexual practice? Is it fear of being beaten in an argument? Fear of not knowing what to say? Fear of messing it all up?

Such fears are groundless. Christians are not in the business of “winning the argument.” People are not argued into the Kingdom of God. What is eloquent and pierces a heart and soul is the personal testimony of someone whose life has been transformed by Christ. This is exactly what excites and captivates the imagination and interest. Not being well versed or educated on the subject of homosexuality is no excuse for remaining silent. We each have our own story to tell.

Few things are more effective than people who learn how to be “a friend (who) loves at all times,” (Proverbs 17:17) while not being afraid to uphold God’s truth that “better is open rebuke than hidden love.” (Proverbs 27:5)

I would submit that the calamity and dilemma many professing Christians face today with regard to homosexuality is not unlike a time when Elijah spoke and said: “‘How long will you waver between two opinions?

If the Lord is God, follow Him; but if Baal is God, follow him.’ But the people said nothing.” (1 Kings 18:21)

Today, more than ever, we are in need of Christians that will not sidestep truth or grace but offer crystal clear truth on a host of issues, including homosexuality, toward every person. Frankly, this is exactly what the Church was called to be from the beginning, and it is exactly what people are looking for today. It is a Church just like this that saved my life.

Many know and understand the importance and significance of reaching the unreached peoples of the world for Christ Jesus. What about the unreached homosexual population?

We, the Christian community, have a lot to learn about bringing Jesus to the gays and lesbians who hopefully will one day knock at the doors of our churches. How about, “If you struggle with homosexuality and feel trapped – there is hope!

Come on into Church and investigate the roots and causes of your struggle with homosexuality. We will walk with you as you look past the surface, deep into your heart and consider God’s will for your life.”

It is the clarity of the Holy Scriptures that should compel each and every faithful follower of Christ Jesus to be a light where there is darkness, rather than hiding our witness from those who need it.

Luke 6:45 tells us, “Out of the abundance of the heart the mouth speaks.” If we truly care about the eternal destination of a multitude of men and women, snared and deceived by the brokenness of same-sex attraction, we will not be silent. Silence cannot and must not be an option.

Consider: Did God keep Himself in icy isolation from your predicament? Did He say, “Well, he’s probably all right as he is?”

The ultimate issue for the homosexual is the same as it is for every individual. “Where do they stand? Are they dead in sin or alive in Christ?” Therefore, we must not withdraw, we must not be silent.

“If I profess with the loudest voice and clearest exposition every portion of the truth of God except precisely that little point which the world and the devil are at that moment attacking, I am not confessing Christ, however boldly I may be professing Christ. Where the battle rages, there the loyalty of the soldier is proved.” Martin Luther

Pastor Phillip Lee
Executive Director
His Way Out Ministries

Please consider making a donation at www.hiswayout.com/donate. Thank you, Pastor Phillip Lee

While this will not be popular in some circles, it is nonetheless true.

Even though I penned this article several years ago, re-posting it today brought waves of conviction because in many ways we, the Christian community have greatly failed the LGBT community.

Help Wanted: The Harvest Is Great

“…although healing many people of their physical ailments, Jesus often indicated that the forgiveness of their sins was the true gift.”

Even those with a limited knowledge of the Bible will remember that Jesus was scorned and ridiculed for spending time with what were considered the “worst” sinners and the most “unclean” people of His day.

However, Jesus was always determined to focus on those who had the deepest need for Him. As He said, “He was sent not for the healthy, but for the sick,” (Matthew 9:12) and He had little tolerance for those who failed to see their own brokenness.

Clearly, Jesus hung out with sinners. He dined with prostitutes and tax collectors. He interacted with adulterers and harlots. He touched those who were ravaged by socially unacceptable disease.

Simply loving them, He listened as much or more than He talked, and His compassion for them and His understanding of their hurt was clear.

If we are to reach the individual struggling with same-gender attraction or the gay community, we must do the same. A very simple scanning of the gospels offers a good picture of several attitudes and actions that characterize Jesus’ way of relating to those who did not know Him and who were lost in their sin.

Jesus routinely broke religious and cultural boundaries. Jesus healed people on the Sabbath, He entered the homes of undesirable people, and He spoke publicly to people the religious leaders ignored. Clearly, Jesus sacrificed tradition and reputation for the sake of the lives He sought to impact.

Boy, now there’s a lesson: being more attentive and mindful about our character rather than our reputation.

Jesus began His interaction with sinners by loving them first. In other words, he had a genuine love for them and wanted to get to know them. Remember?

If we are going to be effective in speaking into an individual’s life, we must first establish relationship. Jesus was all about building relationships with sinners. Certainly, Jesus, being Jesus, had quicker relational success than we might have, but His example in getting to know people and letting them see Him is vital for our evangelism efforts.

Jesus physically touched people. In other words, He wasn’t afraid to get a bit dirty. He touched lepers, blind people, and prostitutes.

Frankly, I believe physical touch was Jesus’ physical manifestation of His love for people.

In His day, it was considered unclean to even be in proximity with such people. His own disciples often tried to keep “those people” away from Him. But Jesus not only didn’t avoid those people, He sought them out. And it was His touch that healed them both physically and spiritually.

Jesus offered people something better than their sin. He pulled their attention away from their sin and enabled them to consider and focus on what He could give. He told the woman at the well that He had living water, and then He offers her Himself.

After He saved the adulterous woman from being stoned, He offered her freedom from condemnation. After the harlot anointed His feet, He forgave her sin and saved her for eternity. Now, catch this. While Jesus healed many people of their physical ailments, He often indicated that the forgiveness of their sins was the true gift, even more so than the physical healing they so desired. If we are going to reach the homosexual community, we must offer them something better than their sin.

Jesus’ own examples provide us with several practical tools for reaching our gay and lesbian friends, neighbors, etc.

First, please take this to heart – you have permission to love your gay friends or family members.

And, frankly, you have more than permission, you have a mandate from the Lord.

Pastor Phillip Lee
Executive Director
His Way Out Ministries

His Way Out has been faithfully ministering to men and women seeking a way out of sexually broken lifestyles since 1994. We could not do it without the support of Christians like you. Every dollar that you give to His Way Out Ministries helps to further this vital ministry. Won’t you take a minute to prayerfully consider a monthly donation to His Way Out? Please consider making a one-time donation or set up a secure monthly PayPal contribution on our donation page at https://www.hiswayout.com/donate/. Thank you, Pastor Phillip Lee