For Christian parents, in particular, wading through the tsunami of emotions that accompany the announcement of, “Mom, Dad, I’m gay!” are all but swallowed-up in, “Why has this happened to our family, what do we do now, and Who is to blame?”

Mom, Dad, first and foremost remember that you are a child of God, and He has plans to, “prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” He has promised to be with you always, no matter what kind of calamity or mud pit in which you may find yourself.

Give yourself permission to wade through the myriad of real and genuine emotions. Without a doubt, a considerably strong emotion that will surface at some point is anger.

The Bible tells us, “In your anger do not sin.” (Ephesians 4:26)

It is Ok for a Christian to get angry. Just do not allow your anger to become misdirected. Misdirected anger is useless.

While it is a given most parents experience some measure of guilt regarding the homosexuality of their child, seeking to place blame on friends and other people, circumstances and even God, is often a misdirected attempt to help cope with the situation.

Parents, the brokenness of same-sex attraction is far too complex for you to place all of the blame upon yourselves. If you are hearing the accusation of, “this is all your fault,” I guarantee you that is the voice of the enemy of your soul.

The challenge? To look through the eyes of faith which enables the acceptance of the present reality and ultimately produces, “What now, Lord?” rather than, “Why?” In other words, hold on to God’s promises.

Loving a wayward child the way God loves them means loving them unconditionally. It also means accepting the truth and reality that only God can bring about the change in them you hope and pray to witness.

It wasn’t until many years down the road of a new life in Christ Jesus that my mother shared with me, “You don’t know how many times in prayer I got in the enemy’s face and said ‘I don’t care what he has done or even how many times he has done it, in Jesus’ Name, devil, you can’t have him any more!'”

Choose today to “act” rather than “react” to the unwanted circumstance(s) that have come into your life. Seek a care group, a community in which you can be real by sharing your legitimate concerns. Those in the group need not be experts on the subject of homosexuality and they may not have ever experienced this kind of crisis themselves, but if they are compassionate people, they can give you a great deal of emotional support and nurturing.

Scripture clearly defines the Church as family. (1 Timothy 5:1-2; 2 Timothy 1:2-5; Hebrews 12:7-10). Having a safe environment and opportunity to be transparent with one another enables opportunity to unlock the excessive pressures of this journey called life and relieves pent-up emotions.

Keep Romans 8:28 forever in your heart. God’s promise that, “all things work together for good,” even when things seem to be shattered should take a high position on the priority list of verses on suffering.

At His Way Out Ministries, we have found and continue to see and understand the wisdom of Ecclesiastes 4:9-10, “two can accomplish more than twice as much as one, for the results can be much better. If one falls, the other pulls him up; but if a man falls when he is alone, he is in trouble.”

God loves to walk in and turn things around. He loves to do what looks humanly impossible.

Pastor Phillip Lee

Not so fast!

I have always been intrigued by those that jump at the opportunity to use the word “abomination” when discussing or referencing homosexuality.

Yes, it is Scripturally true and accurate that in Leviticus 18:22 and 20:13, God calls homosexuality an abomination.

What is an abomination?

An abomination is an outrage, a disgrace, something detestable to God – and, yes, this is exactly what God says the practice of homosexuality is.

In Romans 1:26-28, the Bible twice says of practicing same-sex scenarios that God “gave them over” to their sin, meaning, God let their sin run its destructive course in their lives.

Any decision to reject God’s truth results in our becoming enslaved to ungodly passions.

Scripturally-speaking, the bottom line is this:

The Bible nowhere affirms, sanctions, endorses or approves the practice of homosexuality. Any man, any woman practicing homosexuality does not have Scripture on their side.

Back to the word abomination.

Abomination does not signify “case closed, 10-4-over-and-out, done, finality!”

1 Corinthians 6:9-11 tells us clearly, “Some of you once practiced a behavior, a lifestyle that even progressed to the point that it is how you thought of and defined yourself.”

However, 1 Corinthians 6:11 says, “Now you are washed by the blood of Jesus. Now you have a new life. You are sanctified by the Holy Spirit and you are being transformed into new individuals. You are justified – set free from your sin and now wear the robes of Jesus’ righteousness. The Holy Spirit ‘has done’ and is ‘continuing’ to do a great work of transformation in your life.”

No longer viewed by God as an abomination.

Here’s the twist.

You and I must (embrace and allow) God’s Word to accomplish the purpose for which He sends it:

“As the rain and the snow come down from heaven, and do not return to it without watering the earth and making it bud and flourish, so that it yields seed for the sower and bread for the eater, so is My Word that goes out from My mouth: It will not return to Me empty, but will accomplish what I desire and achieve the purpose for which I sent it.” Isaiah 55:10-11

See yourself as God sees you and not as you once were.

Gay will never, ever win biblically or theologically.

Pastor Phillip Lee

I became a Christian very late in life, and as a result, I came to Christ with a whole lot of excess baggage. You know, stuff! Not unlike a multitude of others, I thought (at least to a degree), that a lot of my “stuff” would instantaneously just “poof” and disappear. It didn’t occur to me that I did not arrive at my broken place in life overnight – therefore, not everything was going to be resolved overnight. I had programmed deep into my thinking a whole truckload of experiences, activities, and beliefs that were anything but what God had intended. And, nobody pushed the “clear button” when I became a believer. All of that stuff (lies) was recorded in my mind and enabled the strongholds which directly affected how I say myself and others.

It is a fact that life is a series of choices that lead us. We are the choosers – we have control over our choices and what we believe, though at times we may feel that we have no choice. This is exactly where many “lies” come into play and seize opportunity. Proverbs 23:7 tells us, “For as a man thinks in his heart, so he is.” If I continue to see myself based on my past, my past addiction, my past behavior, my past identity – even allowing the things (today) that may sorely tempt me – I will remain stuck and bound.

In the dictionary, a “vow” is defined as “a solemn promise or declaration by which a person is bound to an act, service, or condition.” In Scripture, over and over again we see references to vows and oaths.

“Again, you have heard that it was said the people long ago, Do not break your oath, but keep the oaths you have made to the Lord. But I tell you, Do not swear at all; either by heaven, for it is God’s throne, or by the earth, for it is His footstool; or by Jerusalem, for it is the city of the Great King. And do not swear by your head, for you cannot make even one hair white or black. Simply let your Yes be Yes, and your No, No, anything beyond this comes from the evil one.” (Matthew 5:33-37)

How often have I heard, “I have had same-gender attraction for as long as I can remember and I guess I always will.”

According to John and Paula Sanford in their book Transformation of The Inner Man, “an inner vow is a decision and resolve either to do or not to do a certain activity, event, or to have or not to have a certain attitude or relationship. It is a determination set by the mind and heart into all of one’s being usually set early in life, and often forgotten.”

Personally speaking, I have often found that the attitude in which I face the mountains in my life always has a direct and profound bearing on just how long “the mountain” may remain in my life.

If I, or anyone for that matter, continue to define their identity based upon their sexuality (homosexual), it implies the possibility of one’s behavior or sexual orientation can never be minimized or changed. In other words, how we label ourselves reveals what is of prime importance in our life. There is an absolute finality about labeling oneself. It implies the matter is closed and that a final decision has been reached.

How I remember to this day when I was just a little guy, those that would constantly encourage me to play a variety of sports that I really didn’t want to play but did because “that is what little boys did.” That sense of reality coupled with the disappointment and downright hurt and shame of generally being the last to be picked for “the team,” caused me to make a decision (a vow) that I was never going to play “those stupid games” again.

Now, I realize just how my attitude and decision (which really wasn’t based in truth it was just a perception on my part), catapulted me down a path that led to years of struggling with self-worth and acceptance. The incredible irony regarding sport activity was that I was pretty dog-gone good at a number of sports.

Oh, the inner traps (vows) that cause such heartache, pain and sometimes years of disillusionment and despair. It took me a very long time to realize that I was most definitely a “guy” that just happened to have different interests, gifts, and talents that didn’t match the abilities, gifts, and talents of others. No gender confusion, just specific gifts God had granted me and placed within me to ultimately honor and glorify Him.

Embracing an inner vow, belief, and proclamation of, “I am gay and will always be gay,” can most definitely set the shape of our entire being and character. It is entirely possible for the entire structure of a person’s personality to be built around one inner vow. Now hear this! There is always much, much more to a person that just their sexuality! However, the owning of one’s identity being based upon, “I’m gay!” can and often does shape the individual’s personality for life.

The inner vow of seeing oneself as “always homosexual” must be addressed and ultimately broken. If not broken, the strong possibility exists that the individual will fall to relying upon the power of their flesh to lead the Christian life, to be good, righteous and holy. Freedom, true freedom comes by faith as well as recognizing that an inner vow just may have placed us in a position of defeat and not victory.

To this day, I thank God I did not become a Christian to leave homosexuality. I became a Christian because Jesus just made sense. Heaven knows, where I came from and what I was doing made absolutely no sense whatsoever.

Today, I continue to find that God will take me as far as I am willing to go. The path of healing from same-sex attraction comes about only through a genuine and intimate relationship with Jesus Christ. The addiction and bondage to homosexuality can be broken. I say “can be” because Jesus has given us free will. The essential first step is wanting Christ and all that He offers.

Indeed, each and every faithful follower of Christ Jesus must obey the truth in order to be purified and ultimately made whole. The wonderful and glorious promises of God remain and shall forever be that there is an end to homosexual desire if we yield to God’s truth and not the opinion of man.

Every Christian has been given the God-given right to cancel any vow made in the past or present. Begin, today, by seeing yourself as God sees you. The only remedy for any lie you may have embraced or bought into is to confront it with truth. His truth.

Pastor Phillip Lee

My conversation with a reporter.

Reporter: I’m really surprised you continue to believe and state that men and women with same-sex attraction can change.

Me: Why does that surprise you?

Reporter: Well, you know, with so many having debunked Reparative Therapy and Conversion Therapy.

Me: I must challenge your use of the word “debunked.” While some men and women may not have benefited from Reparative or Conversion Therapy, both offer some very good, sound and solid counsel for life. So, let’s not, as the saying goes, “Throw the baby out with the bath water.”

That said, during our 25-year history of His Way Out Ministries, we have never applied or utilized Reparative or Conversion Therapy. Being a Christian ministry, our calling, mandate and approach is taken directly from the command and calling of our Lord Jesus Christ to make disciples as found in Matthew 28:19.

You do understand Biblical Discipleship is by no means the same as Reparative or Conversion Therapy, don’t you?

Reporter: Huh?

Me: Reparative and/or Conversion Therapy is a psychological, clinical approach to resolving same-sex attraction. At His Way Out Ministries, our position and approach rests entirely upon the Authority of Scripture versus the interpretations of some of the social sciences and medicines. All His Way Out Ministries Services are centered on the Biblical foundations of compassion, integrity, and dependence on God.

Reporter: Oh, pray the gay away.

Me: I would caution you not to mock God or the power of prayer.

We believe through a personal relationship with Jesus Christ and the healing power of the Holy Spirit, often mediated by extended and competent ministry, prayer and a caring Christian community, the sexually broken can experience transformation and restoration towards wholeness.

And, by the way, it is our intent to extend compassionate Christian ministry for such persons while repudiating any non-loving, prejudicial attitudes that deny Christ’s unconditional love for all people and we declare such to be sin.

Reporter: Wow, I had no idea.

Me: Do you have a Bible?

Reporter: Yes.

Me: With regard to “change,” I recommend you read Mark 10:27 and 1 Corinthians 6:9-11. “Change” is not just our personal opinion or feeling. God Himself says “change” is possible.

Reporter: Hmmmm

Me: So, if you still want to disagree or argue about “change” being possible, I suggest you take it up with God. Indeed, you can argue the point with Him but you won’t win.

Reporter: Thank you for your time.

Me: Anytime.

“Woe to those who call evil good and good evil, who put darkness for light and light for darkness.” (Isaiah 5:20)

Today, especially in America, little is being offered which promotes the truth about homosexuality with the general public and the Church believing the many untruths and inaccuracies being offered. This did not happen by accident. This has been and continues to be a well-crafted strategic plan.

Phase One: Get society and the Church to ‘accept’ the falsehood that someone can be a gay Christian (it’s ok to practice homosexuality) which will then set the stage for the transition to Phase Two.

Phase Two: Revise Scripture to endorse and validate the homosexual disposition and agenda.

Hence, pro-gay theology: “the abandonment of Scriptural truth; scientific information, social changes, and personal experience become the cornerstone of how ‘truth’ is determined.”

For homosexual practice to be seen as acceptable and created by God, historic and traditional Christian teaching had to be discredited.

Phase Three: Since it’s ok to be a gay Christian (according to pro-gay theology), then God Himself supports, approves and validates homosexuality and same-sex marriage.

Herein lies the true problem (crisis). No where in the Bible does any Scripture, not one, approve of or support the notion or concept of gay Christian or same-sex relationships. Every time Scripture mentions homosexual practice it is always, without exception, mentioned in the context of a behavior in which no man or woman is to practice – not unlike many other behaviors.

The Church cannot ‘welcome and affirm’ what God Himself never affirms. Yes, Jesus welcomed and loved every person but He never, ever affirmed their sin – not once.

That said, permit me to take this another direction for a moment.

It is long overdue for many, including homosexual strugglers, to stop singling out homosexuality as the worst of all sins.

Today, many view the person engaged in homosexual acts to be unsaved. Why are not the same assumptions made, at least with the same rigor and emphasis, regarding other sins such as: fornication (pre-marital sex), idolatry, adultery, thievery, covetousness, alcoholism, slander, and deceit. An end must come to declaring those guilty of pre-marital sex as just, well, “disobedient Christians,” while declaring homosexuals definitely non-Christians.

As Christians, our relationship with God through Christ is the cornerstone of our identity.

Today, many are being told, “Accept yourself and follow your heart.”
However, Jesus says, “Deny yourself and follow Me.”

“By this we know that we have come to know Him, if we keep His commandments. The one who says, ‘I have come to know Him,’ and does not keep His commandments, is a liar, and the truth is not in him; but whoever keeps His word, in him the love of God has truly been perfected. By this we know that we are in Him; the one who says he abides in Him ought himself to walk in the same manner as He walked.” (1 John 2:3-6)

The ‘gay Christian’ identity does not exist in the Kingdom of God.

“Concerns About the Revoice Conference” is a must view and listen by friend and ministry partner, Dr. Michael Brown. Dr. Brown offers and puts in crystal clarity where we are today with regard to “Gay Christian?, Pro-Gay Theology, etc.”

The video is a must watch for anyone and everyone concerned about the many misguided attempts to revise sexual morality.

Concerns About the Revoice Conference

Direct YouTube Link