Today the majority of conversations about gender and sexuality remain very, very noisy. Everyone has an opinion. And some of those opinions are satanic which lead to destruction.

“The god of this age has blinded the minds of unbelievers, so that they cannot see the light of the gospel that displays the glory of Christ, who is the image of God” – 2 Corinthians 4:4.

“and that they will come to their senses and escape from the trap of the devil, who has taken them captive to do his will” – 2 Timothy 2:26.

Whether the confession of “I’m gay!” comes from a son or daughter, spouse or close friend, the admission of homosexuality hits like a bombshell, especially in Christian homes. Instantaneously, life seems completely out of control. You are now headed in a direction you never, ever thought you would be going.

No matter where you were or how you heard, those two words meant two things – Your life changed, and someone you loved was gay.

How well I remember having to make the above declaration to my mother. While my confession occurred many, many years ago, I recall, vividly, having to pick my mother up from the kitchen floor. The ironic truth is that while I felt an immediate sense of relief that “the problem” was now out, my parents, friends, and family members were instantly projected into a state of fear, bewilderment, and consumed by a myriad of emotions.

Many experience a wide range of emotions upon learning a loved one is gay. Instantly many find they now belong to a club they had no intention of joining. Life has now taken yet another turn without permission.

Once the initial impact has subsided a bit, while Christian families know God is the answer, it still takes a long time for them to wrap their mind around how to engage God in what they perceive as needing to be done. Make no mistake, when someone we know confesses their same-sex attraction, many Christians struggle with how to maintain a Christ-like manner and position.

Every individual that awakens to their issue of same-sex attraction has already been through quite a heart-wrenching process and therefore it really doesn’t matter whether the individual has embraced the gay identity or is still combating and resisting temptation as well as seeking freedom from same-sex attraction. Very often parents will respond to the crisis by focusing on their own pain and a deep sense of loss forgetting the individual plagued by same-sex attraction has already experienced a huge amount of pain and loss.

Speaking from experience, having waded through years of healing, discipleship, study, and surrender (at times, daily), when homosexuality hit my family, as it has a multitude of others, it brought pain, indescribable pain, and misunderstanding along with it. Largely, because (way back then), no one knew anything about the behavior. Frankly, the only comment anyone offered was, “It’s wrong!” Today, just like then, “that’s not good enough and completely unacceptable.”

Not long ago, a Christian friend and mother I have known for many years wrote me and once again uttered the expression I have heard so many times during the 30 years of His Way Out Ministries, “I never thought I would be contacting you with a problem of homosexuality in my family.” The mother was understandably shattered. Initially, while the mother did respond and react appropriately standing upon the right Scriptures, the son responded with a very interesting and revealing remark. He said, “Mom, you keep telling me how hard this is for you to hear and deal with. Don’t you realize how hard it has been for me these many, many years, being raised in a Christian home and knowing that once this got out it would kill you? Ultimately, I had to make a decision that I knew nobody would be happy with. Please consider and realize that I have my own demons to fight.”

Frankly, there is a great deal of truth in the son’s comments. Whether we agree or not with the son’s ultimately decision or conclusion that he is gay and entitled to act upon his feelings and desires (which I certainly do not), we must admit that he was right in saying he had reached his conclusion after going through quite an intense struggle on his own. It is very important to remember within the evolvement of same-sex attraction that homosexual tendencies are discovered but the gay identity is ultimately embraced. And there is a considerable difference between the two.

When any individual discloses their battle with same-sex attraction, their confession enables an intriguing and powerful opportunity to the family and really to anyone that becomes aware. Can I truly continue to love him for who he is and not for what he does?

As a Christ-follower, if we are becoming effective in not putting unrealistic expectations on ‘anyone,’ we are in line to accept them for who they are, not for what we wish they were. It is God’s part to give those that struggle with same-sex attraction abhorrence for the behavior – an abhorrence that will bring them to a place of complete surrender to the sovereignty of God in their lives and a desire to change.

While there are no specific verses in the Bible telling us under what circumstances, if any, we should adopt this or that policy toward a homosexual loved one, let’s consider a few specific communications that need to be offered with the hope and endeavor of keeping the lines of communication open. What the Bible says and why you disapprove of homosexuality every time you are with your child, friend, co-worker, etc., is not necessary state. However, do make sure the individual knows the following:

– You understand that he/she did not ask for these feelings.
– You appreciate their honesty and transparency in disclosing their issue with same-sex attraction.
– Your belief regarding homosexual practice as sin is not going to change.
– You want to protect your relationship through mutual respect and understanding.
– While you may never agree on the subject of homosexuality, you are committed to not letting that disagreement ruin your relationship.

As faithful followers of Christ Jesus, we must never affirm homosexual practice. But we can at least affirm the fact that the individual struggling with same-sex attraction has tried to be honest with us and has taken quite a risk in telling us, knowing it is not what we wanted to hear.

How well I remember disclosing my own battle with same-sex attraction and giving my family every reason to write me off. Frankly, there was no reason for my family to ever think I would repent and turn completely away from homosexuality. Thankfully, sometimes when God calls us to release a family member or friend through a prayer of relinquishment, that doesn’t mean He is releasing them as well.

God is saying: “Do all you can do, continue to love them and wait.”

Indeed, dealing with the discovery that someone you love has same-sex attraction issues is a difficult stewardship, but the God who gave us this stewardship has also equipped us to handle it and maintain a Christ-like attitude.

“For whatever things were written before were written for our learning, that we through the patience and comfort of the Scriptures might have hope.” (Romans 15:4)

Admittedly, today courageous clarity in conversations about gender and sexuality is required if not demanded ultimately demonstrating we believe that God defines our sexuality and our identity — even when someone we love disagrees with us. This requires courage and faith.

In the midst of it all we can know God. Thank God, thank God for His provision of grace in our lives.

Today, with regard to gender and sexuality, we must ask for clarity and the courage to not abandon the Bible’s clarity even when such clarity hurts and becomes painful. We endure.

Wise and courageous love requires submitting to God’s authoritative voice in the Bible because when God speaks a word on any topic He speaks the final word.

Pastor Phillip Lee
Executive Director
His Way Out Ministries

Please consider making a donation at www.hiswayout.com/donate. Thank you, Pastor Phillip Lee

Frankly, the question shows a certain misunderstanding and attempts once again to place those who struggle with same-gender attraction in a “category” all by themselves. Why should witnessing to gays be any different than witnessing to anyone else?

Ultimately, their homosexuality is not our main concern – or, at least, it should not be the primary concern. The state of their souls is. And if the Gospel is something they’re not interested in, we, The Church, needn’t feel obligated to argue over sexual matters with people who have no interest in such an argument. I see no reason why a Christian should automatically target a gay friend or co-worker as an object of reformation. “As much as possible,” Paul said, “live at peace with all men.” (Romans 12:18)

The Christian Church is perhaps the last organization that continues to promote values that forbid homosexual practice. Frankly, gay militants know that, and that makes The Church an important target. Heaven knows, there has been and there remain tactics specifically designed and intended to frighten The Church into either changing our views or never expressing them. If we allow ourselves to become so frightened, so intimidated, we will deserve the displeasure of God and the spiritual impotence we will surely find ourselves in.

However, history clearly shows that persecution has traditionally strengthened The Church. Maybe, just maybe, the onslaught of gay rights and gay militancy will unite The Church in ways unthinkable until now. What a concept, huh?

With Jesus as our Perfect Role Model, the ethics of Jesus calls each and every one of us as His faithful follower to treat all people – bisexuals, homosexuals, heterosexuals, transgenders, pan-sexuals, etc. – with compassion and also seek to do all within our power to promote and stand for the wellness of all people. Ultimately, it is not only how we view people but also how we treat people that will ultimately reflect the love, care, and compassion of Christ Jesus.

The Church remains the Body of Christ. It has a message of redemption that can come from nowhere else. It is also, the last bastion of hope and refuge for the homosexual struggler. How do you witness to a gay-identified person? Remember, the goal of The Church is not to make “straights out of gays.” It is to preach the Gospel, and there’s no reason or exception to that rule.

God placed you here for a purpose and He desires to use your obedience in sharing Him to influence and impact not only this generation but generations to come. All He expects of us is obedience. To share openly, unashamedly, lovingly, without reservation, the greatest news ever announced:

God loves you and offers a wonderful plan for your life.

God’s love and His plan are available to each and every person and to each, every and any community.

And here’s the bottom line: Sharing the Gospel is simply taking the initiative to share Christ Jesus in the power of the Holy Spirit and leaving the results to God.

Pastor Phillip Lee
Executive Director
His Way Out Ministries

Please consider making a donation at www.hiswayout.com/donate. Thank you, Pastor Phillip Lee

“My flesh and my heart fail; but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever.” Psalm 73:26

Have you ever noticed how good many people are at masking crisis, trauma, fear, anxiety and “where is this thing called life going?”

No matter how we might present ourselves, often, very often, buried just below the surface is an overwhelming sense that something isn’t quite right or outright wrong. We become uncomfortable when someone puts us on the spot, we purpose to play things safe especially when something arises that we just don’t understand, we talk about “those things” that tend to make us look really good, we offer the illusion that we are more spiritual than we really are, we avoid people and topics that tend to place us in uncomfortable surroundings and potentially bring unwanted and difficult emotions to the surface.

Scratch just below the surface and it only takes a split second to realize that regardless of just how much we have changed, we still have a very long way to go. Each and every one of us know things about ourselves that no one would ever guess happened or is presently going on. Things we have done behind closed doors, fantasies, considerations, thoughts, secrets that only God Himself knows. The sometimes-overwhelming reality that something is wrong can be utterly consuming.

Oh, we are most definitely purposed to be and do better. However, the “one step forward and two steps back” seems to surface all too often. Tragically, the scenario brings huge amounts of shame, a desire to withdraw and isolate, to hide. We simply do not want to run the risk of being rejected one more time.

How well I remember when I was a little guy, my stepfather taking me to a horror flick that so frightened me and impacted my life, I became convinced the boogieman had moved into our house and had set up residence directly under my bed. Admittedly, my fears were unfounded, but they were also genuine. There was no boogieman but there was definitely something wrong. Unlike the boogieman, life’s problems are real.

When the world comes crashing through and reality hits, we are often inclined to do whatever is necessary to regain a sense of well-being. Eat something sweet, join the church choir, read a book, surrender our life (again) to God – anything to relieve that nagging sense that something isn’t quite right.

Isn’t it amazing how we can become so fixed and persuaded that if everything is looking good on the outside then the same must be true of what is going on within? God intends on each and every one of us doing much more than just spray washing the exterior.

He takes us deep within to the nooks, crannies, and fathomless craters of our soul to experience His presence when we feel most alone and void of hope. Indeed, the backside of the desert is often where God perfects His promises and enables us to face reality as it truly is which includes our hurts, fears, resentments and address certain motives that we often keep hidden so that we can emerge as changed people. Certainly, not perfect, but more able to deeply and genuinely love other people as well as ourselves because we are more aware of His love.

Yes, life is trying, demanding, at times overwhelming, relationships too difficult, and responsibilities too difficult for any of us to do what is expected of us and deny that we have problems and troubles. While I am a bit cautious of constant personal introspection, some understanding of what is happening and going on inside will often help us to see what changes need to occur on the inside in order to effectively and genuinely impact external changes.

Personally, I have found that my truly knowing God often occurs most when the winds of adversity are blowing, and reality is confusing. Not being willing to weather the storms of life and ask myself the hard questions and face the hard issues all but dismisses intimate, wonderful transforming encounters with God.

Ultimately, it is that which lies just beneath the surface and the sense that something isn’t quite right becomes yet another opportunity for me and the Holy Spirit to deal honestly with “the stuff” and develop faith, hope, love and an awareness that I need to develop a trusting awareness of Christ Jesus more than ever.

Yes, this journey called ‘life’ is often marked by numerous twists and turns and while just below the surface may be a sense that I have much more surrendering, relinquishing, and obeying to accomplish, deeper yet is the awareness, knowing and comfort that God will never keep His distance from me.

I know what it is to catch a glimpse of the reality of God that often overwhelms me with His goodness, His majesty, His love. It is during those times that I become acutely aware that I am deeply, purely and profoundly loved by God the Father.

That knowing – runs much, much deeper than just below the surface.

“My flesh and my heart fail; but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever.” Psalm 73:26

Pastor Phillip Lee
Executive Director
His Way Out Ministries

His Way Out has been faithfully ministering to men and women seeking a way out of sexually broken lifestyles since 1994. We could not do it without the support of Christians like you. Every dollar that you give to His Way Out Ministries helps to further this vital ministry. Won’t you take a minute to prayerfully consider a monthly donation to His Way Out? Please consider making a one-time donation or set up a secure monthly PayPal contribution on our donation page at https://www.hiswayout.com/donate/. Thank you, Pastor Phillip Lee

One of those “elephant in the sanctuary” topics many prefer to dismiss and avoid.

I suppose I could have titled this article, “Abstinence,” but then I am fairly confident that the majority would not take the time to read the content. However, of all the challenges that we face as the Church in today’s society, sexuality, and more specifically, being single and a Christian, is undoubtedly one of the greatest.

While some Christians are married and some are single, it is abundantly clear that more are married than single. For the single person, abstinence is a good thing and should be our only choice if we want to live according to God’s Word and plan. While the world continues to encourage every type of sexual expression under the sun, I wonder, has remaining celibate become obsolete because we have become so enlightened in our understanding of human sexuality? I think not.

What accounts for the huge sexual shifts in our society and today, too often within the Body of Christ?

Today, without a doubt, anything goes. There is no right or wrong. Not only this, but personal morals are equated with legal rights. In the 1960’s, “Sex Makes Free,” was a familiar slogan. Sex was often viewed and hailed as a universal “fix” for loneliness and human emptiness. Today, sex is looked on more and more as a constitutionally guaranteed right – a right to fulfill one’s biological drives however one sees fit, a right to dismiss, if not discard, a spouse for greener pastures and a right to pursue any sexual orientation one desires.

My intent in writing this article is not to preach at you, to tell you right from wrong, or anything along that line (I’m sure you know all the same Bible scriptures that I do about remaining celibate as a single Christian). However, I remain greatly concerned about Christian men and Christian women that are indeed having sex and having sex frequently.

What does it mean to be Christian and single? The best definition would be to live a life devoted to God, attending church regularly, having times of fellowship with friends, and being a good friend, brother, mother, father, etc. Oh, and as a single person – not having sex.

Maybe, just maybe, with the ever-increasing societal acceptance of sex before marriage, it’s just become easy, even for Christians, to justify or rationalize having sex before marriage. At least in part, I am convinced that in many cases this is due to a lack of understanding of the dividing wall that it creates between our spirit and God’s. Frankly, in today’s society, it (sexual purity) just isn’t a top priority. Maybe you’ve noticed. “I Surrender All,” isn’t at the top of the charts today.

However, beyond the obvious advantages of abstinence is the application and adherence to Scripture for the single person. When anyone, male or female, heterosexual or homosexual, makes the conscious choice to stray beyond God’s holy boundary lines, we bring the possibility of terrible consequences upon ourselves by our rebellion and disobedience. Sexual sin causes an immediate dividing wall between our spirit and God’s. God does not create the dividing wall; our sinful behavior does. Ok, so maybe I’m preaching a bit here, but there most definitely is something about sexual sin that does a huge amount of damage to a single man or woman.

Anything we do that affects one part of our being (such as our body), also affects the other parts of our being (soul and spirit). As a result, when sexual sin occurs, which is war against our own body, as well a sin against God, we bring negative consequences upon our soul and spirit as well. Heaven knows the volumes that could be written in terms of the emotional damage alone caused by sexual sin.

The Apostle Peter made this point in 1 Peter 2:11, when he pleaded: “I urge you, as aliens and strangers in the world, to abstain from sinful desires, which war against your soul.” That’s why I believe to define human sexuality (sex) just in physical terms misses the most important aspect of human sexuality – the spiritual. Sexuality is not just something that joins our bodies; it also involves the joining of our spirits. Therefore, since our sexuality links the spiritual to the physical, no amount of ‘just physical activity’ can ever create or offer the wholeness for which every single man and woman hopes for and desires.

I don’t know. Maybe it’s because I am getting up there in years and still single, that I am becoming increasingly aware of the social stigma against premarital sex that has practically become a thing of the past. Today, and I include myself even at this stage in life, thanks to the media and the so-called sexual revolution, singles are now made to feel as if something is wrong with them if they don’t have sex before marriage. However, “it” (sexual purity) was something that was instilled in me from day one of my becoming a Christian.

It just seemed to me that as a single man, that was God’s given design for me as a single man. Now, that doesn’t mean there haven’t been times of “fighting the flesh.” I am not ashamed to admit that living a chaste life as a single Christian has its fair share of struggles and challenges.

Very often today, American society in particular regularly challenges the Christian belief system. It’s not so much they’re asking if it’s true, but rather, does it work?

Yes, living life according to a Bible-based belief system really does work. But in order to stand firm today as a single Christian man or woman, one must draw close to the Lord for that is where we get our strength. In the practical sense, it means participating in a Bible study group and having a solid network of accountability partners – partners with whom you get brutally frank, honest, and transparent.

While taking the road of sexual purity is not for the faint of heart, there remains a way to live out God-centered principles in a culturally-sensitive environment.

Yes, God’s plans are always bigger and better than our own – especially and specifically when it comes to relationships, love, and sex for the single person.

Holiness with reference to our sexuality means one of two things.

If you are married, complete faithfulness to your spouse of the opposite sex. Or if you are single, complete faithfulness through abstinence.

God would not call us to a standard, a way of living, that He would not also enable us to meet.

There remains great reward in living life God’s way.

Pastor Phillip Lee
Executive Director
His Way Out Ministries

His Way Out has been faithfully ministering to men and women seeking a way out of sexually broken lifestyles since 1994. We could not do it without the support of Christians like you. Every dollar that you give to His Way Out Ministries helps to further this vital ministry. Won’t you take a minute to prayerfully consider a monthly donation to His Way Out? Please consider making a one-time donation or set up a secure monthly PayPal contribution on our donation page at https://www.hiswayout.com/donate/. Thank you, Pastor Phillip Lee

There is no doubt the winds of social change have and continue to blow aimlessly across America with continued and relentless emphasis being placed upon “tolerance,” which is to be extended to everyone and anyone without limitation, and to any and all forms of sexual expression.

Is there nothing wrong with sex as long as it is consensual? And if there is something wrong, what is it? Does it really come down to a matter of personal taste, of private sentiment and personal choice? Have we become a nation, a world that gains a sense of purpose and meaning primarily from our sexual desires and behavior?

Many have chosen and are choosing to blatantly reject the Authority of Scripture in matters of faith, practice and God’s holy boundary lines with regard to sexual expression.

On every hand you find those, “who call evil good and good evil, who put darkness for light and light for darkness…” (Isaiah 5:20)

With all sorts of opinions consuming the airwaves, media, and the internet, it appears everything is now up for question, debate, and compromise; sexual expression in particular.

America’s blind, amoral pursuit of pleasure at any price, and in any form, has indeed perpetuated the social and dark spiritual dynamics which have birthed and inflamed the various forms of sexual perversion.

While there are those still attempting to make The Bible and Christianity socially and culturally relevant by rewriting and redefining biblical standards, I find tremendous comfort and strength in knowing God’s Word remains steadfast from generation to generation. Therefore, it remains crucial that each and every true faithful follower of Christ Jesus understands and embraces “thus saith the Lord” when it comes to God’s divine intent for human sexuality and other issues of our time.

God has not been mocked nor will He will not be mocked. There is no way, it is impossible for anyone to legitimately rewrite or circumvent what God prohibits. Anyone choosing to practice any behavior that God has clearly defined as sin, cannot glorify God and will eventually downward spiral.

The Lord Jesus has not changed, nor will He ever alter His Word to accommodate man’s sinful desires, choices and behaviors.

The reality of an across-the-board crisis of sexual and relational brokenness in America clearly points to an increasing inability, as a society, to make healthy and moral distinctions. Even those who place a high premium on tolerance are obligated to recognize that matters of various sexual lifestyles now threaten the very values and institutions on which a solid and vital society is built and sustained.

Today, more than ever, responsible American citizens who truly care for the greater social good of America are obligated to impose, if not place under the microscope, a moral gaze on their sexual behavior. Unfortunately, not every American is willing or responsive enough to such an obligation.

What’s more, they do not want anyone to hold them responsible. Those who have the self-respect to recognize that a person is not reducible to his or her desires or behavior truly exhibit a concern for social justice, personal responsibility, and a true love for this nation which seeks nothing higher than the welfare of people – all people.

How is it in choosing to dismiss and disregard a moral compass, we are shocked by what has transpired in our nation?

Even so, shocked at what has happened and continues to spread in the Church?

Speaking as someone that was trapped for many years in a behavior and lifestyle, thinking there was no way out, I completely understand how anyone might have difficulty in believing in and receiving God’s forgiveness and restoration.

“But Jesus Christ is the same yesterday, today and forever.” (Hebrews 13:8) God remains rich in mercy and remains willing to deliver anyone. “He is forever our great Sin-bearer and the God who forgives.” (Psalm 99:8)

America is in need of huge and immediate change. I believe the Church should be out front by showing the way to bring it about. If things continue in this wonderful nation as they have, America and the Church will remain adrift without a moral compass.

The Church must stop the down-playing, the silent-mode, the ignoring, the dismissal, the setting-aside of God’s moral and ethical “holy boundary lines” for living, with regard to sexual expression. All faithful followers of Christ Jesus are called to a higher standard which requires all faithful followers of Christ Jesus to be discipled in the full, total, and complete Word of God.

Silence, in particular, is undeniably an earmark of a dysfunctional family, because the real problems are never discussed and resolved. It’s imperative that the Body of Christ stand against current trends in today’s society that have and continue to distort human sexuality as God intended and created it.

It is only when we embrace the entirety and truth of Scripture without compromise; Jesus empowers us to walk in His perfect design and purpose.

Pastor Phillip Lee
Executive Director
His Way Out Ministries

Please consider making a donation at www.hiswayout.com/donate. Thank you, Pastor Phillip Lee

The book of James sheds light on this important question: “But each one is tempted when, by his own evil desire, he is dragged away and enticed. Then, after desire has conceived, it gives birth to sin.” (James 1:14-15)

There is always a time gap between conception and birth. A thought occurring in our mind can be either killed or nurtured. If it grows, it gives birth to sin. That is where our ability to choose comes into effect. We make the choice whether or not an improper heterosexual or homosexual sexual thought (temptation) will become sin.

It’s a fact that much of modern society is preoccupied, if not consumed by sex. Today, many Christian men and women are highly disturbed by their sexual feelings. For some, sexual obsession has become a form of worship. Anytime we give our hearts, minds and bodies over to remain in a state of sexual arousal, we are indeed doing exactly what the Apostle Paul talks about when he refers to worshiping created things rather than the Creator.

“Therefore, God gave them over in the sinful desires of their hearts to sexual impurity for the degrading of their bodies with one another. They exchanged the truth of God for a lie, and worshiped and served created things rather than the Creator – who is forever praised. Amen. (Romans 1:24-25)

As the prophet asked in Ezekiel 33:10, “How should we then live?” In a society that is so permeated by sex that even the most dedicated Christian is affected. More specifically, how does a Christian man or woman face and deal with sexual temptations?

First, we must understand and believe the clarity of Scripture that Jesus, our Savior and High Priest was tempted Himself and understands our temptation. Please embrace and take comfort in Hebrews 4:14-16: “Therefore, since we have a great high priest who has gone through the heavens, Jesus the Son of God, let us hold firmly to the faith we profess. For we do not have a high priest who is unable to sympathize with our weaknesses, but we have one who has been tempted in every way, just as we are – yet was without sin. Let us then approach the throne of grace with confidence, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help us in our time of need.”

It is a fact that God knows our struggles, understands and forgives our failures. More than not, the questions most people face when confronted with temptation is not “Does God care?” but “Do I care?” Clearly, within Scripture God has made an abundance of resources available to us that we are sometimes unwilling to employ. Therefore, let’s be honest. We sin because we choose to sin rather than because we are left without resources by a God who doesn’t care.

According to the Apostle Paul in 1 Corinthians 10:13, “No temptation has seized us except what is common to man. And God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, he will also provide a way out so that you can stand up under it.” Clearly, when we choose to ignore the resources offered to us by God, we fail.

Every now and then, I am challenged by someone that feels I should not speak so frankly and openly about sexual and relational brokenness. The view, by some, is that by making people aware I may be encouraging them to participate. I do listen, even trying to take them seriously due to their usage of the following:

“The night is nearly over; the day is almost here. So let us put aside the deeds of darkness and put on the armor of light. Let us behave decently, as in the daytime, not in orgies and drunkenness, not in sexual immorality and debauchery, not in dissension and jealousy. Rather, clothe yourselves with the Lord Jesus Christ, and do not think about how to gratify the desires of the sinful nature.” (Romans 13:12-14)

While I do respect their opinion, I still believe we must know the enemy and understand both the subtle and the obvious ways he tries to affect us. Making people aware of dangers is not the same as thinking about how to gratify the desires of the sinful nature.

So, what do you and I do when we fail? Ultimately, it’s pretty easy to keep the right focus and attitude when sexual temptations have been resisted successfully. However, when any man or woman has given into sexual temptation, “What’s the use?” is all too common to surface. “I’ve blown it and so I just might as well do some other things also,” is anything but the thought, attitude or approach recommended by Jesus. I guarantee you that in adopting or embracing these mentioned thoughts or actions will only lead to deep guilt as well as continued sexual frustration and spiritual frustration also.

When Jesus confronted individuals who had sinned and who were truly repentant, His response was always the same. He forgave the sin but also challenged the person to forsake it and begin living a better way. Once our sin has been admitted and we see our sin as God sees it, it is imperative we place our full attention and focus on our Savior and no longer upon our sin. Do not remain in a mode of mentally replaying your sin. That, in and of itself, can become an obsession.

When we are purposed to keep our eyes on Jesus, we see victory. This absolutely gives us hope. However, when we continue to fix our eyes on our recurring brokenness or sin, we will see only defeat which can easily transcend to becoming ashamed even to look at Jesus. We must keep our focus and attention on our source of hope rather than that which is broken. That is exactly why a regular time of reading Scripture and praying is essential. It puts our attention on Christ where it belongs.

One more time – look at the Savior, not at the sin.

I really believe that any discussion about sexual temptation would be incomplete without a look at the way David dealt with his own sin. David was brutally honest with God, which just may be why, despite his sin, he was called a man after God’s own heart. In Psalm 51:5-12 he writes:

“Surely, I have been a sinner from birth, sinful from the time my mother conceived me. Surely you desire truth in the inner parts; you teach me wisdom in the inmost place. Cleanse me with hyssop, and I will be clean; wash me, and I will be whiter than snow. Let me hear joy and gladness; let the bones you have crushed rejoice. Hide your face from my sins and blot out all my iniquity. Create in me a pure heart, O God, and renew a steadfast spirit within me. Do not cast me away from your presence or take your Holy Spirit from me. Restore to me the joy of our salvation and grant me a willing spirit, to sustain me.”

In Christ Jesus, you can find a kindred spirit who knows your experience through his own.

Facing down temptation is one way suffering sanctifies because it brings us closer to God.

God would never call us to a standard He would not also empower us to meet.

There is a way out.

Pastor Phillip Lee
Executive Director
His Way Out Ministries

His Way Out has been faithfully ministering to men and women seeking a way out of sexually broken lifestyles since 1994. We could not do it without the support of Christians like you. Every dollar that you give to His Way Out Ministries helps to further this vital ministry. Won’t you take a minute to prayerfully consider a monthly donation to His Way Out? Please consider making a one-time donation or set up a secure monthly PayPal contribution on our donation page at https://www.hiswayout.com/donate/. Thank you, Pastor Phillip Lee

His Way Out Ministries (HWOM) celebrating 30 years of ministry in North America, South America and the Caribbean.

In 1994, His Way Out Ministries was founded with the expressed purpose of raising awareness and encouraging the Body of Christ to minister transformingly to those who struggle with sexual and relational brokenness through a personal relationship with Jesus Christ in the healing power of the Holy Spirit.

Seeing the evidence of sexual brokenness all around us, we believe that men and women who struggle with homosexuality, addiction to pornography, lesbianism, etc. must have answers to their questions. And we believe those answers are available through a dynamic encounter with Jesus Christ.

Our concern is for the sexually broken and our desire is to minister to those in need within the church and the community at large, using the truth of Scripture, the power of our testimony, and the dialogue of issues.

Our position rests on the authority of Scripture versus the interpretations of some of the social sciences and medicine. His Way Out Ministries Services are centered on the biblical foundations of compassion, integrity, and dependence on God.

We live in a sexually broken society in which homosexual practice, adultery, and fornication are sins that call for repentance and openness to the transforming power of God. We believe in the ministry of the church to assist those who desire sexual wholeness.

And while we do not condone the practice of homosexuality, adultery, or fornication, and consider such practice incompatible with Christian teaching and conduct, we believe that God’s grace is available to all who repent.

We believe that through a personal relationship with Jesus Christ and the healing power of the Holy Spirit, often mediated by extended and competent ministry, prayer, and a caring Christian community, the sexually broken can experience transformation and restoration towards wholeness.

We repudiate any non-loving, prejudicial attitudes that deny Christ’s unconditional love for all people and declare such behavior to be sin. Our intent is to extend a compassionate Christian ministry to everyone.

We remain committed to effectively and compassionately communicating God’s heart concerning sexual brokenness and wholeness, while disputing the unchangeable nature of sexual orientation.

Photos: His Way Out Ministries Executive Board and The Bakersfield Californian in 1994, our local newspaper, offering a full page article sharing details of our ministry launch. To God be the glory!

Pastor Phillip Lee
Executive Director
His Way Out Ministries

His Way Out has been faithfully ministering to men and women seeking a way out of sexually broken lifestyles since 1994. We could not do it without the support of Christians like you. Every dollar that you give to His Way Out Ministries helps to further this vital ministry. Won’t you take a minute to prayerfully consider a monthly donation to His Way Out? Please consider making a one-time donation or set up a secure monthly PayPal contribution on our donation page at https://www.hiswayout.com/donate/. Thank you, Pastor Phillip Lee

Before you do, please consider this question: “Are you free to be a witness for Christ?”

Today, many wonder whether they have “done too much” that is sinful for God to use them. The reality is that none of us deserve to be partners with God in ministry. But God has chosen to work through the redeemed. If there ever was a time to affirm the truth that Paul wrote:

“Although I am less than the least of all God’s people, this grace was given me: to preach to the Gentiles the unsearchable riches of Christ, and to make plain to everyone the administration of this mystery.” (Ephesians 3:8-9)

The time is now for God’s people to operate and go forward in the authority of Christ Jesus. When Jesus ascended into heaven, He essentially left His ministry to His earliest disciples. Today, as followers of Christ Jesus, we have received the same power to bring about the fruition of the same mandate, which is to make disciples of the Lord Jesus Christ, baptizing and teaching them.

In essence, discipleship is leading an individual to maturity in Christ, and as you mature, it is important to make other disciples. Intrinsic to making disciples is witnessing for Christ.

But what does it mean to “witness”?

I am convinced if someone is completely and truly freed to witness, it will come naturally.

Jesus taught two principles that have guided me in being His witness. First, don’t put a shade over your lamp – Luke 8. Second, “Out of the overflow of (a man’s) heart his mouth speaks” (Luke 6:45).

In other words, to be Christ’s witness means simply not to conceal who God has called you to be, and to sincerely share what you have come to believe.

The Apostle Peter puts it this way: “Always be prepared to give an answer to everyone who asks you to give the reason for the hope you have. But do this with gentleness and respect….” (1 Peter 3:15)

Making a disciple may include deliberately making friends with “those people” and inevitably and naturally being a witness for Christ in their life.

Today, we cannot assume anyone knows anything about the Gospel. Therefore, quote what Jesus said and what you have learned to be true. Also, don’t represent yourself a whole lot differently to non-believers than to Christians.

The world is in desperate need of Christians being genuine and consistent.

So, let me ask you once again, “Are you free to be a witness for Christ?” If not, acknowledge your need for deliverance by asking God to set you free.

Rather than making another empty New Year’s resolution, how about making a commitment, possibly a re-commitment, by embracing to mind, heart and spirit, followed by application and action, the words of the Prophet Isaiah:

Lead out those who have eyes but are blind, who have ears but are deaf. All the nations gather together, and the peoples assemble. Which of them foretold this and proclaimed to us the former things? Let them bring in their witnesses to prove they were right so that others may hear and say, “It is true.” “You are my witnesses,” declares the Lord, “and my servant whom I have chosen, so that you may know and believe me and understand that I am He. Before me no god was formed, nor will there be one after me. I, even I, am the Lord, and apart from me there is no savior. I have revealed and saved and proclaimed – I, and not some foreign god among you.

You are my witnesses,” declares the Lord, “that I am God.” (Isaiah 43:8-12)

The greatest evil in the world today just may be indifference.

Truly, out of the abundance of the heart, the mouth must speak.

Pastor Phillip Lee
Executive Director
His Way Out Ministries

His Way Out has been faithfully ministering to men and women seeking a way out of sexually broken lifestyles since 1994. We could not do it without the support of Christians like you. Every dollar that you give to His Way Out Ministries helps to further this vital ministry. Won’t you take a minute to prayerfully consider a monthly donation to His Way Out? Please consider making a one-time donation or set up a secure monthly PayPal contribution on our donation page at https://www.hiswayout.com/donate/. Thank you, Pastor Phillip Lee

Picking up the pieces of life after receiving disturbing news is a difficult task. Hopefully and prayerfully the article content will help to see the reality of what has happened, let go of the person just at a time when feelings often dictate, we need to hang on harder, accept responsibility for our own actions as they relate to the situation, and ultimately grow spiritually through it all.

By looking through the eyes of faith, we become positioned to learn the lessons the Lord has for us in this situation.

To that end, in light of our acceptance of reality, we can ask, “What now, Lord?” rather than “Why?”

For Christian parents, in particular, wading through the tsunami of emotions that accompany the announcement of, “Mom, Dad, I’m gay!” are all but swallowed-up in, “Why has this happened to our family, what do we do now, and Who is to blame?”

Mom, Dad, first and foremost remember that you are a child of God, and He has plans to, “prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” He has promised to be with you always, no matter what kind of calamity or mud pit in which you may find yourself.

Give yourself permission to wade through the myriad of real and genuine emotions. Without a doubt, a considerably strong emotion that will surface at some point is anger.

The Bible tells us, “In your anger do not sin.” (Ephesians 4:26)

It is Ok for a Christian to get angry. Just do not allow your anger to become misdirected. Misdirected anger is useless.

While it is a given most parents experience some measure of guilt regarding the homosexuality of their child, seeking to place blame on friends and other people, circumstances and even God, is often a misdirected attempt to help cope with the situation.

Parents, the brokenness of same-sex attraction is far too complex for you to place all of the blame upon yourselves. If you are hearing the accusation of, “this is all your fault,” I guarantee you that is the voice of the enemy of your soul.

The challenge? To look through the eyes of faith which enables the acceptance of the present reality and ultimately produces, “What now, Lord?” rather than, “Why?” In other words, hold on to God’s promises.

Loving a wayward child the way God loves them means loving them unconditionally. It also means accepting the truth and reality that only God can bring about the change in them you hope and pray to witness.

It wasn’t until many years down the road of a new life in Christ Jesus that my mother shared with me, “You don’t know how many times in prayer I got in the enemy’s face and said ‘I don’t care what he has done or even how many times he has done it, in Jesus’ Name, devil, you can’t have him any more!'”

Choose today to “act” rather than “react” to the unwanted circumstance(s) that have come into your life. Seek a care group, a community in which you can be real by sharing your legitimate concerns. Those in the group need not be experts on the subject of homosexuality and they may not have ever experienced this kind of crisis themselves, but if they are compassionate people, they can give you a great deal of emotional support and nurturing.

Scripture clearly defines the Church as family. (1 Timothy 5:1-2; 2 Timothy 1:2-5; Hebrews 12:7-10). Having a safe environment and opportunity to be transparent with one another enables opportunity to unlock the excessive pressures of this journey called life and relieves pent-up emotions.

Keep Romans 8:28 forever in your heart. God’s promise that, “all things work together for good,” even when things seem to be shattered should take a high position on the priority list of verses on suffering.

At His Way Out Ministries, we have found and continue to see and understand the wisdom of Ecclesiastes 4:9-10, “two can accomplish more than twice as much as one, for the results can be much better. If one falls, the other pulls him up; but if a man falls when he is alone, he is in trouble.”

God loves to walk in and turn things around. He loves to do what looks humanly impossible.

Pastor Phillip Lee
Executive Director
His Way Out Ministries

Please consider making a donation at www.hiswayout.com/donate. Thank you, Pastor Phillip Lee