It is helpful and important to remember that our sexual drive is good, not evil. However, it is easy enough to fall into the error of seeing our sexual feelings as the enemy, an unfortunate part of our being that keeps us defeated in our Christian walk. Our sexual longings have become distorted, but they are, nevertheless, a marvelous creation and a wonderful part of who we are as human beings.

So, how do men and women control their sexual behavior? Is it really possible to stop impure thoughts? How do we find purity in our sexual desires when we have indulged in homosexual fantasy or practice?

Renewing one’s mind and training ourselves is a cooperative effort between God and man. We see this principle throughout the Bible when God calls a man to a purpose and says, in essence, “Here’s the goal.” This is what MY part is in achieving it and here’s YOUR part. We’re not equals in our partnership with God, of course, and He doesn’t need us to fulfill His purposes, but in His wisdom, He’s chosen to include us in them. And so, when fulfilling them, we trust Him to do what we cannot do, and He entrusts us to do what we can.

Question: Is it a sin to have homosexual feelings? Does God condemn you for being attracted to other members of your own sex? No, being tempted is not the same as sin. The Bible distinguishes carefully between such feelings and sin. Inappropriate feelings, in biblical terminology, fit into the category of temptation. Being sexually attracted to another person is not the same as committing adultery in your heart (see Matthew 5:28). For it to become sin, you have to act on the temptation, either in your mind or your body.

All Christians have to deal with inappropriate sexual feelings and attractions. Those of us overcoming homosexuality are not unique; we do not belong in a different subclass than the rest of the Church. Sexual struggles are a part of being human! For we do not have a high priest (Jesus) who is unable to sympathize with our weaknesses, but we have One who has been tempted in every way just as we are – yet without sin. (Hebrews 4:15)

Every time we are tempted, it always begins with stimulation, which we choose to let in or not. If we let it in, we begin entertaining it, which often leads to indulgence. We are never going to avoid stimulation. To avoid or not embrace the truth that stimulation is unavoidable means our lives will remain in a constant state of frustration.

So, when do homosexual temptations become sin? The book of James sheds light on this important question: But each one is tempted when, by his own evil desire, he is dragged away and enticed. Then, after desire has conceived, it gives birth to sin. (James 1:14-15) There is always a time gap between conception and birth. A homosexual thought occurring in our mind can be either killed or nurtured. If it grows, it gives birth to sin. That is where our ability to choose comes into effect. We can choose whether or not homosexual thoughts (temptations) will become sin. If we nurture them, they will grow into lust. Simply defined, lust is the desire to have what is not rightfully mine.

Lust can involve much more than just sex. We can lust for emotional intimacy and seek it by forming relationships that avoid sex but are riddled with deep and exclusive emotional bonds that are inappropriate. We can even lust for good things, like marriage and children. Such life experiences can be wonderful, but we won’t possess them unless God gives them to us.

Question: Should any man or woman just simply accept homosexual feelings as a thorn in the flesh and not seek to overcome them?

Many men and women find that their homosexual or lesbian desires decrease in intensity when their emotional needs are being satisfied through healthy relationships. The deeper and more emotionally satisfying these relationships are, the less we will be tempted to meet those emotional needs through inappropriate sexual acts or emotional dependency.

Resisting Temptation

Never begin your day without prayer. A daily discipline for every Christian includes prayer and Scripture reading because they’re essential, and part of your prayer life includes putting on your armor:

Stand therefore, having girded your waist with truth. (Ephesians 6:14) The truth you take in keeps you from falling for the many lies you’re likely to encounter on any given day.

Put on the breastplate of righteousness. (v.14) It is through prayer you’re built up spiritually, strengthening your faith in the righteousness of Christ that’s been imparted to you.

Shod your feet with the preparation of the gospel of peace. (V.15) This keeps you gospel aware, that is, aware that there’s a heaven and a hell, and that everyone you encounter is bound for one or the other.

Take the shield of faith with which you will be able to quench all the fiery darts of the wicked one. (v.16) By exposing yourself daily to the Word of God, your faith grows and your protective shield is strengthened. Your enemy’s attacks, relentless as they are, can’t harm you.

And take the helmet of salvation, and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God. (v.17) Knowing your position in Christ, being reminded of it daily, and getting into the habit of speaking the Word regularly, all three cover your thought life and arm you with what you need to deal with the aggressions of your opponent.

Every time we say no to lust, every time we refuse to entertain the dirty thought that just passed through our unruly brain, it’s an act of worship. So don’t resist sexual sin just for the sake of purity, make it an act of worship.

Present your bodies a living sacrifice, holy, acceptable to God. (Romans 12:1)

Pastor Phillip Lee
Executive Director
His Way Out Ministries

His Way Out has been faithfully ministering to men and women seeking a way out of sexually broken lifestyles since 1994. We could not do it without the support of Christians like you. Every dollar that you give to His Way Out Ministries helps to further this vital ministry. Won’t you take a minute to prayerfully consider a monthly donation to His Way Out? Please consider making a one-time donation or set up a secure monthly PayPal contribution on our donation page at https://www.hiswayout.com/donate/. Thank you, Pastor Phillip Lee

His Way Out Ministries Podcasts are dedicated to equipping, educating, and encouraging the Body of Christ to reach out and minister to individuals, families, and churches impacted by the brokenness of same-sex attraction.

Pastor Phillip Lee

Season 2, Episode 2
The so-called “enlightened understanding” of homosexuality that some now claim, discards traditional Christian teaching and literally has compromised the Church’s integrity by misrepresenting Christianity. The crisis we face today is the Lordship of Christ and the Authority of Scripture.

Listen online or download the podcast.

Homosexuality and Revisionists with Pastor Phillip Lee – Download MP3 –

All past episodes of His Way Out Ministries Radio Broadcast are available by following THIS LINK or selecting the “Audio Podcast” category to the right.

Today, much of American culture has been consumed by the grip of political correctness with regard to homosexuality and related issues. Any public expression of disagreement with any aspect of the homosexual movement, or with homosexuality itself, is met with accusations of homophobia and verbal gay-bashing. The relentless quest by gay activists is a non-stop crusade for acceptance and to gain society’s stamp of approval on homosexual behavior. Even within the Church, the right to withhold affirmation and the right to believe that homosexuality is not on a moral par with heterosexuality remains under constant bombardment.

The strategy of shifting the debate about homosexuality away from religious beliefs and psychology by pro-gay activists to the realms of human rights and social justice has been and continues to be nothing short of genius. Equally within the realm of genius has been the relentless pro-gay camp campaign and strategy of portraying homosexuality as a condition and not a problem. This component of the strategic pro-gay agenda has evolved to same-sex attraction not needing to be fixed but rather to the mode of acceptance and approval.

Tragically, much of the Church has become desensitized by the bombardment and constant flooding of homosexual imagery through homosexual-related messages, media, and people sharing their stories about ‘gay is good.’ It is an undeniable fact that homosexual imagery has influenced many into thinking that it is just another part of life.

We, the Church, are continuing to pay a very high price due to our reluctance, and sometimes fear, in not talking about and educating ourselves on the subject of homosexuality leaving the culture to teach our children and adults in terms of what to think and believe.

With far too many Christians having mostly ignored the extremely detailed and strategic pro-gay manifesto, how is it we are surprised by the effectiveness of their propaganda and relentless campaign? For far too long, we, the Church have been in the defense-mode, bobbing and weaving just to fend off the impact of the gay rights movement.

The gay-Christian movement is picking up momentum due to the reinventing of Scripture. It goes something like this: “Revising the Scriptures on homosexuality is appropriate and correct because in light of new scientific evidence, we now understand that people are born that way. Therefore, homosexual behavior and relationships should be endorsed.”

Frankly, both condemning and endorsing homosexuality miss the mark. A huge and significant shift needs to take place. The question is “Are we, the Church, willing to turn that high-powered perception upon ourselves and ask ourselves some very hard questions?”

• Are we willing to take responsibility for harsh words or inappropriate actions and apologize for any wrongs we may have committed out of ignorance?
• Are we willing to share the Scriptural truths about homosexuality such as, No one is born with same-sex attraction and change is possible?
• Do we, the Church, truly see ourselves as God’s vehicle to reach wounded, broken, hurting humanity – which includes the sexually and relationally broken?
• Are, we, the Church, truly willing to educate ourselves on the complexities of same-sex attraction thereby dismantling the many lies and replacing them with the Scriptural truths about homosexuality?

In other words, might we, the Church, become much more proactive in educating and equipping ourselves regarding true Christian ministry to those with unwanted same-sex attraction? In doing so, we would move from the defense mode of the past several decades to reversing the current tide through understanding and education. I would submit that the real enemy we face today is ignorance and fear.

According to Scripture, there can never be any justification for treating homosexuality as morally equivalent to heterosexuality. That said, we, the Church, are being asked to lower the bar on the clarity of Scripture with regard to homosexual practice which ultimately means faithful followers of Christ Jesus are being asked to set themselves in direct opposition to moral values clearly outlined in God’s Word.

Today, as the saying goes – “The ball is squarely in our court.” We, the Church, cannot and we must not underestimate ourselves. We, the Church, hold the only answer there is to the crisis of homosexuality. In other words, “Are we willing to be the change we wish to see in the world?”

If we, the Church, truly desire to see current trends change regarding homosexuality and the many related issues, our response requires a combination of compassion and understanding. Scripture is abundantly clear in that homosexual practice is only one of the many types of behavior condemned in the Bible. Therefore, to condemn homosexuality really is an expression of compassion because it seeks to warn, if not rescue those snared by the brokenness of same-sex attraction.

I still believe in and have every confidence in the Church’s ability, through Christ, to lovingly communicate to the sexually broken that God’s mercy and grace are sufficient for transformation.

The key is education, education, education!

We are all in this work together through Christ!

May God help us on that day when we are asked to give an account of how we responded to the difficult issue of homosexuality so that we might hear Him, say, “Well done, good and faithful servant.” Matthew 25:21

Pastor Phillip Lee
Executive Director
His Way Out Ministries

His Way Out has been faithfully ministering to men and women seeking a way out of sexually broken lifestyles since 1994. We could not do it without the support of Christians like you. Every dollar that you give to His Way Out Ministries helps to further this vital ministry. Won’t you take a minute to prayerfully consider a monthly donation to His Way Out? Please consider making a one-time donation or set up a secure monthly PayPal contribution on our donation page at https://www.hiswayout.com/donate/. Thank you, Pastor Phillip Lee

“For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms.” (Ephesians 6:12)

Today, those who favor homosexual practice remain unwilling to concede any ground, at times denying the standards of their respective denominations and applying relentless efforts to revise the historic teachings of the Church. Under the banner of ‘fairness’ and ‘tolerance,’ many are purposed to muddy the water regarding homosexuality by claiming there is not a clear answer to the issue. Further attempts to persuade the moral legitimacy of homosexual practice such as the presence of “love” and “commitment” are frequently offered to try and supersede the moral code of Scripture and justify homosexual relationships.

While many Christians, as well as non-Christians, believe that homosexual practice is wrong, many remain confused because our culture and even some church leaders approve of active homosexuality. Many people do not want to be labeled as prejudiced or bigoted; they want to be loving, compassionate human beings, but at the same time, they do not feel right about approving of homosexual activity. They cannot articulate their reasons for opposing ‘gay’ with some being quite gun-shy because at some point they did speak out in favor of traditional morality but they were treated as if they were ignorant, labeled as homophobic, unloving – even unchristian. As a result, they have learned to just keep quiet and avoid the topic altogether.

From time to time, I have been conversing with a Christian on the subject of homosexuality to have them make this statement, “This whole ‘gay thing’ is a lost cause.” I have a response to this tragic statement with no delicate way in which to clothe my response. For any faithful follower of Christ Jesus to say the present crisis of homosexuality is a lost cause is the same as saying “the devil is more powerful than God.”

Homosexual orientation is just one of the many manifestations of man’s fallen nature which in theological terms is known as “sin.” With same-sex attraction being no respecter of persons, it is out of this Scriptural truth that the apostle Paul declared, “all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God,” (Romans 3:23) and also defines the various forms such sin can take:

“Do you not know that the wicked will not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived: Neither the sexually immoral nor idolaters nor adulterers nor male prostitutes nor homosexual offenders nor thieves nor the greedy nor drunkards nor slanderers nor swindlers will inherit the kingdom of God.” (! Corinthians 6:9-10)

Homosexuality is, clearly, only one of the various types of behavior that are condemned in the Bible, and it is condemned for the same reason as the rest – it is an affront to the character of God. It is critically important to emphasize that the condemnation of homosexual practice is to warn and ultimately rescue those caught by the snare of same-sex attraction.

Many men and women know what it means to be rescued from the brokenness of same-sex attraction and not evidenced solely by their powerful testimony but by this important Scriptural truth:

“And this is what some of you used to be. But you were washed, you were sanctified, you were justified in the name of the Lord Jesus Christ and in the Spirit of our God.” (1 Corinthians 6:11)

Personally, I find it nothing short of remarkable that some today struggle at believing and embracing the ultimate redemptive purposes of God are the same today as they have always been:

“Indeed, God did not send the Son into the world to condemn the world, but in order that the world might be saved through Him. Those who believe in Him are not condemned; but those who do not believe are condemned already, because they have not believed in the name of the only Son of God.” (John 3:17-19)

Jesus and the writers of Scripture did not hesitate to condemn sin and immorality in whatever form they found it. They did so to liberate men and women from the grip of spiritual and behavioral bondage. Therefore, I submit our ultimate goal as Ambassadors for Christ is not merely to show that the biblical judgment against homosexuality is certainly well-founded but rather to avail ourselves as instruments of both truth and grace that God may accomplish His redemptive purposes.

I believe the traditional Christian position should be to understand and accept (accept does not mean to approve) the homosexuals’ orientation as a condition but also see homosexual orientation as a temporary, not a permanent, condition. To condemn the homosexual for his or her orientation is unchristian. Every faithful follower of Christ Jesus should be appalled when we see Christians respond to homosexuals with hate and loathing. That said, the acting out of same-sex attraction is sinful, just as it is wrong for heterosexuals to engage in sexual activity outside of marriage.

It is God’s love and the truth of Scripture that seeks to separate sinners from sin. When Scripture speaks a clear word on any given topic, it speaks the final word. I pray we all would stop trying to explain why God has spoken in the way He has; the essential issue is what He has spoken.

As Christians, meaning we accept the Bible in its entirety or not at all, are we still convinced that there is ample evidence, which is available to anyone with openness to the facts, there is an option to our sinful nature and the consequences that flow from it? God’s love and His truth still seek nothing higher than the welfare of all people.

Pastor Phillip Lee
Executive Director
His Way Out Ministries

His Way Out has been faithfully ministering to men and women seeking a way out of sexually broken lifestyles since 1994. We could not do it without the support of Christians like you. Every dollar that you give to His Way Out Ministries helps to further this vital ministry. Won’t you take a minute to prayerfully consider a monthly donation to His Way Out? Please consider making a one-time donation or set up a secure monthly PayPal contribution on our donation page at https://www.hiswayout.com/donate/. Thank you, Pastor Phillip Lee

His Way Out Ministries Podcasts are dedicated to equipping, educating, and encouraging the Body of Christ to reach out and minister to individuals, families, and churches impacted by the brokenness of same-sex attraction.

Season 2, Episode 26
Pastor Robert Kuyper, Founder of the Transforming Congregations movement within the United Methodist Church, first Executive Board President of His Way Out Ministries, and author of Crisis in Ministry (A Wesleyan Response to the Gay Rights Movement), a book in which he captures the Church’s dilemma regarding the issue of homosexuality, is Pastor Phillip Lee’s guest on the His Way Out Ministries KERI 1410AM Radio Broadcast. Pastor Kuyper offers a strong challenge to the Church to wake up and take its rightful place as ambassadors for the Gospel of Jesus Christ and specifically, to the world of sexual sinners.

Listen online or download the podcast.

The Crisis in Ministry with Robert Kuyper – Download MP3 –

All past episodes of His Way Out Ministries Radio Broadcast are available by following THIS LINK or selecting the “Audio Podcast” category to the right.

Dr. Robert L. Spitzer, who passed away on December 25, 2015, at the age of 83, was considered one of the most influential psychiatrists of his generation. Many years ago I had the pleasure of meeting Dr. Spitzer and ultimately became one of his case studies with regard to freedom from same-sex attraction. The article below, titled “Setting the Matter Straight,” capsulizes much of Dr. Spitzer’s study. My condolences to his wife and children.

In 1973, Dr. Robert Spitzer, Professor of Psychiatry at Columbia University, opposed the prevailing beliefs in his profession by leading the effort to remove homosexuality from the list of psychiatric disorders. For this, liberals and the gay community respected him, even as it angered many of his psychiatric colleagues.

Ultimately, a controversy erupted when Dr. Spitzer reported the results of a study that asked an important scientific question: Is it really true that no one who was predominantly homosexual for many years could strongly diminish his homosexual feelings and substantially develop heterosexual potential?

What Dr. Spitzer found was that, in the unique sample he studied, many made substantial changes in sexual arousal and fantasy and not merely in behavior. Even subjects who made a less substantial change believed it to be extremely beneficial.

I had the pleasure of meeting Dr. Spitzer at the American Psychiatric Association Convention in Chicago in May 2000 as well as at a conference in San Diego. Ultimately, Dr. Spitzer knows me much better than I know him. I was one of the 200 people Dr. Spitzer interviewed for his study.

After my second interview with Dr. Spitzer, with my pastor and secretary at the time sitting in on the interview over speakerphone, Dr. Spitzer volunteered, “It’s undeniably true you have experienced a major and significant change in your life.”

Thankfully and gratefully, I am far from the only individual that has experienced change. God has not been silent to the cries of men and women wanting freedom from homosexual feelings and behavior. Many have experienced the power of Christ to address the deep needs of both men and women trapped in same-gender struggles. Through the atonement of Jesus Christ and the sanctifying work of the Holy Spirit, God has, is, and will be delivering people from the snare of homosexuality.

However, today, we are still considering the question: Can a person experience a change of not just behavior, but desire related to homosexuality? The answer to the question is accurately wrapped up in an answer from 2004, which was prior to Dr. Spitzer’s change of heart on his study. Yet the data still bears up under scrutiny and has not been removed from the psychological journals.

For an important, if not vital, view from Dr. Spitzer, please watch the following:

from YouTube, An interview with Dr. Robert Spitzer

How is it we have dismissed or forgotten that He is God; The One that spoke the universe into existence, The One that has enabled the lame to walk and the blind to see, and The One that has hung each star in its’ place. Is healing a person’s sexual orientation too big for Him?

The question, “Can homosexuals really change?” is a fair and monumentally important question. The men and women that have exited homosexuality span a wide variety of ages, personalities, occupations, nationalities, and church denominations. Some of these men and women have been free from homosexual involvement for ten or twenty years. They are not just suppressing their homosexual or lesbian longings. There has been a true resolution of this issue in their lives.

While it continues to be taught and preached that God can do the impossible, do we still believe it?

When an individual who was once controlled by his sin is now free from that sin and engaged in a new kind of life pattern, hasn’t change occurred?

Oswald Chambers states in My Utmost for His Highest, “A man is a slave for obeying unless behind his obedience there is recognition of a holy God.” I find it remarkable that God never insists on our obedience, but when we truly know Him, we want to instantly obey Him and live according to His perfect will from sunup to sundown.

There is no identical plan of action for healing from same-sex attraction. No quick fix or one-two-three formula. Ultimately, a person’s freedom from same-sex attraction comes from a Person, rather than a method or even a program. That Person is, has always been, and will always be, Jesus Christ.

Such Were Some of You is a documentary that takes you on a journey which begins with a contrast between the opinions of people on the street and experts in theology and psychology. Then over two dozen former homosexuals tell their stories.

For further information about Such Were Some of You, or for a preview of this documentary, please visit SuchWereSomeOfYou.org, also available through MasteringLife.org

Many years ago, I said goodbye to homosexuality and the gay identity. All Christians face the decision of accepting or rejecting Christ’s Lordship. Coming out of homosexuality required deep emotional healing and a restructuring of my whole identity. As our Creator, God is the only One who knows exactly how to restore our personality. I remember so vividly, when coming to know Christ at the age of 35, what it meant for the first time in my life to be a man. But more importantly, what it meant to be a godly man. I liked it then. I like it still. Or, as I have heard it sung in a wonderful old song, “I wouldn’t take nothing for my journey now.”

At the end of the day, science can never be used to trump God’s Word. Yes, change is possible. The interesting thing about the change process is that change is not our ultimate goal. Change is what results as a person pursues a more important and compelling goal: knowing, loving and “beholding” Jesus.

Pastor Phillip Lee
Executive Director
His Way Out Ministries

Please consider making a donation at www.hiswayout.com/donate. Thank you, Pastor Phillip Lee