For far too many, sexual feelings and desires have been viewed as an unfortunate part of their being that keeps them defeated in their Christian walk. Given we are all born into a fallen world and we all struggle with a sinful nature, our sexual longings and desires have become distorted. However, they remain a wonderful part of who we are as human beings.

So, how do we as Christian men and women control our sexual behavior? Especially, since we all bare the marks of the fallen age in which we live to some degree or another. Is it really possible to bring every thought captive (2 Corinthians 10:5)? Is it really possible to stop impure thoughts? How do we find purity in our sexual desires when we have indulged in pornography, sex before marriage, homosexuality, or adultery?

All Christians have to deal with inappropriate sexual feelings and attractions. Those combating same-gender attraction (homosexuality) are not unique and as a result do not belong in a different subclass than the rest of Christians struggling with the long list of heterosexual sexual addictions. Sexual struggles are a very real part of being human! Thankfully, “We do not have a high priest (Jesus) who is unable to sympathize with our weaknesses, but we have One who has been tempted in every way just as we are – yet without sin.” (Hebrews 4:15)

Each and every time we are tempted, the process always begins with some type of outside stimulation, which we ultimately choose to embrace or reject. If we embrace “the thought,” and begin to build upon it, to fantasize, the end result is indulgence. While I am convinced that none of us will ever be able to completely avoid being stimulated, we need not progress to the point of practice. Maybe, just maybe, if we all would embrace the truth that being stimulated is completely and totally unavoidable, our lives would not remain in a constant state of frustration, and the huge amounts of condemnation and disgust that we place upon ourselves would be extremely minimized or even possibly eradicated enabling each of us to climb out from underneath the “shame factor.”

James 1:14-15 tells us, “But each one is tempted when, by his own evil desire, he is dragged away and enticed. Then, after desire has conceived, it gives birth to sin.” Clearly, a homosexual thought (desire) or an inappropriate heterosexual, lustful contemplation that occurs in our mind can either be embraced or killed. We choose whether or not any inappropriate thought regarding sexual lust or temptation will be allowed to progress passed lust to sin.

I remain convinced that being successful in overcoming homosexuality or any heterosexual sexual addiction, largely depends on what happens in our mind. Our thought life is the battlefield where victory is either won or lost. Clearly, to break with any mindset or actions of inappropriate sexual expression, requires changing our thinking. Unless our thought patterns change, we will be continually defeated and discouraged in the process of recovery or becoming whole in our sexuality.

A huge component in dealing with sexual brokenness, homosexual and heterosexual, is coming to terms with our past. Philippians 3:13-14 tells us, “Forgetting those things which are behind, and reaching forth unto those things which are before, I press toward the mark for the high calling of God in Christ Jesus.” The lies of our past must be replaced with the truth of God’s Word. It is through God’s Word we discover the reality of God’s love for us as individuals and His desire to forgive us for all sin – including all forms of sexual and relational brokenness. When acted upon, the Bible’s perspective on human sexuality will profoundly change the way we see our past and certainly help us navigate the future.

Ultimately, we must embrace that it is God’s Word and not our feelings that determines truth. Yes, God loves each and every one of us that struggles with aspects of human sexuality. “But God demonstrates His own love for us in this: While we still were sinners, Christ died for us.” (Romans 5:8) When we repent – meaning we have rejected the behavior – Jesus cleanses us from all homosexual sin, lustful heterosexual thoughts and sexual encounters.

Zig Ziglar once said, “We are where we are and what we are because of what has gone into our minds. We change where we are and what we are by changing what goes into our minds.”

Unfortunately, one of the chief obstacles to healing, wholeness and restoration from sexual sin is the obsession with the immediate. The “itch” for the instantaneous pervades much of Christian thinking. Many tend to think that unless a restoration or deliverance is immediate, it is not of God. Most definitely, we have become impatient and frustrated with things that take time. Isn’t it amazing how people will go to huge amounts of trouble to learn French, or physics or scuba diving? They have the patience to learn how to operate a car but they won’t be bothered learning how to operate themselves. It has been said, “He that would get weeds destroyed must plan the ground with contrary seeds.” Indeed, we cannot walk in God’s ways unless He teaches us, but it is deception to ask Him to teach us unless we resolve to obey Him as He instructs us.

Many, many times I have communicated that every follower of Christ Jesus is in process of becoming more like our Redeemer. Recently, it occurred to me that maybe, just maybe God is more interested in the process than the end result. If I can remain determined, calm, and trusting God the Father in the very midst of so many questions and unresolved matters, couldn’t the process be just as honoring and glorifying to God as the end result?

Pastor Phillip Lee
Executive Director
His Way Out Ministries

His Way Out has been faithfully ministering to men and women seeking a way out of sexually broken lifestyles since 1994. We could not do it without the support of Christians like you. Every dollar that you give to His Way Out Ministries helps to further this vital ministry. Won’t you take a minute to prayerfully consider a monthly donation to His Way Out? Please consider making a one-time donation or set up a secure monthly PayPal contribution on our donation page at https://www.hiswayout.com/donate/. Thank you, Pastor Phillip Lee