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While the details of your situation may be different, I’ll bet your family and mine have a lot in common, which is why I can say I’ve been there.

When someone you love is gay, you become more aware of your inability to face life’s challenges apart from the grace of God.

May what was said of Christ Jesus be said of us as well – that we are, as He was, full of grace and truth.

– – – – –

Usually, when homosexuality becomes known in a family, the greater attention and focus is normally placed on the individual that has announced his or her being gay.

However, when homosexuality comes knocking on your personal front door, it affects much more than just him or her. Immediately, the crisis becomes a family matter with the family having to work through the blow of learning of a child’s homosexuality.

For Christian parents becoming aware of a child’s homosexuality, it becomes very tempting to respond with, “How can you be homosexual? You’re a Christian!” Parents become immediately flooded with questions such as: What will people think? What did I do wrong? or How are we going to deal with this?

Without a doubt, it is just as difficult for the individual to disclose their battle with same-gender attraction as it is for the family to hear. In the majority of cases, the individual struggling with same-gender attraction has been in an intense battle for a very long time especially if the individual is an adult.

The very moment the admission comes out of the individual’s mouth, all of the anxiety, turmoil, fear, shame, anger, disillusionment, and more, is immediately transferred to the parents (family).

Parents naturally want to protect their children and rightfully feel a huge amount of responsibility for their lives. As a result, it is absolutely imperative that Christian parents establish boundaries when facing and dealing with a child’s acceptance and practice of homosexuality.

In their book Boundaries, Dr’s Henry Cloud and John Townsend describe boundaries as “what defines what is me and what is not me. A boundary shows me where I end and someone else begins, leading me to a sense of ownership.”

Without a doubt, parents experience a huge amount of loss when they find out about a child’s homosexuality. Almost immediately, grief, despair, disillusionment, and fear surface launching parents into a process where they ultimately must give themselves permission to grieve and not pretend that nothing is wrong or that their world has been turned upside-down.

Every year, I receive numerous inquiries for guidance from parents wanting to know what are some of the do’s and don’ts when the holidays are fast approaching.

During the holiday season, parents in particular become overwhelmed with the various looming scenarios related to a gay-identified child coming home for Christmas and bringing “a friend.”

The line(s) between acceptance and approval, love and condoning a sinful behavior can often become a bit blurry and challenging during the holiday season.

Anita Worthen discusses the issue of inviting a child’s partner for the holidays in her book Someone I Love is Gay, “Your child’s partner is not the enemy. He or she is someone God loves – just as he loves your son or daughter.” However, that doesn’t mean you welcome the couple into your home as if nothing was wrong. Ignoring the obvious has a name – denial.

A good rule of thumb in ultimately coming to a decision on how to handle the situation is to ask, “How would I handle it if my child wanted to bring home an opposite-sex partner?” I believe the majority of Christian families would probably invite that person into their home, but clearly define the appropriate boundary line of separate sleeping arrangements. However, if parents are completely uncomfortable with the entire gay scenario, being honest is the very best policy for all involved. Because each family is unique, each family has to find a way to handle the various situations that will undoubtedly surface. There isn’t one universal answer that works for everyone.

Frankly, there aren’t any easy, pat answers for a family working through the awareness of a child’s homosexuality. There are no magic cures, no shortcuts.

However, God is more than able and willing to bring the entire family into a deeper, more intimate relationship with Him since the family, by God’s own design, was designed to be a support system and a place of love and safety.

Ultimately, only through a personal relationship with Jesus Christ and the indwelling presence of His Spirit, will any individual or family be enabled to overcome homosexuality and the many related issues.

Being a very practical individual, I encourage all parents (families) to consider that the crisis does not rest solely with the homosexual child. Within the mix of the various and numerous contributing factors to any individual struggling with same-gender attraction are family and relational issues that enabled the situation.

Therefore, I believe parents, the family, need to be willing to (1) educate themselves on homosexual behavior, (2) seek spiritual guidance for themselves, certainly their feelings and emotions, (3) be patient in embracing the reality that healing is a process and (4) release the child into the God’s care. Admittedly, the last point is much easier said than done.

However, it is when we let go of a child, a friend, or a spouse that we do stop taking responsibility for them, but we do not stop fulfilling our responsibilities to them. Homosexuality is not just about an issue. This is about people – people that God loves and people for whom Jesus died.

When homosexuality surfaces in a family, it isn’t just a child struggling with same-gender attraction; it is a family issue and needs to be healed within the family.

“The Lord also will be a refuge for the oppressed, a refuge in times of trouble.” Psalm 9:9

Recommended Reading

Someone I Love is Gay by Anita Worthen and Bob Davies
This book gives easy-to-understand answers to the family members surrounding the homosexual. Many real-life examples are cited to help families understand and respond to their homosexual loved one in a compassionate way.

101 Frequently Asked Questions About Homosexuality by Mike Haley
In this book, you will find answers to the most often asked questions about homosexuality from an expert on the subject – and a former homosexual himself.

When Homosexuality Hits Home by Joe Dallas
In this straightforward book, Christian author and counselor Joe Dallas offers practical, step-by-step advice on how to deal with the many conflicts and emotions experienced by parents, grandparents, siblings, and extended family members when they learn of a loved one’s homosexuality.

Category Archive for additional Recommended Reading
hiswayout.com/category/recommended-reading

Believing in Him and You,

Pastor Phillip Lee
Executive Director
His Way Out Ministries

Please consider making a donation at www.hiswayout.com/donate. Thank you, Pastor Phillip Lee

Believers in Christ Jesus who experience and war against same-sex attraction do exist, but Scripture never has, nor will Scripture ever call an individual to identify by or with a sinful sexual tendency.

ANY word placed in front of my purchased identity as a beloved son of the King of Kings should never be considered or viewed as anything other than the very worst form of idolatry.

First and foremost, because the gay Christian identity does not exist in the Kingdom of God.

Speaking as one once ensnared and bound by the incompleteness and derailment of same-sex attraction, try and try as I have to get my head, heart, and spirit fully around the statement, “I am a gay Christian” I cannot.

I cannot because it does not make sense.

If, within the statement, one is saying, “I am a Christian that struggles with the temptation of same-sex attraction.” This makes sense and I understand.

However, for a faithful follower of Christ Jesus to pronounce identity by first using ‘gay’ (based on one’s attraction to the same sex) then follow-up with ‘Christian’ – clearly, what is happening is a lack of conviction, practice, and concern of how one is being shaped and led by a wrong and deceiving spirit.

Pastor Phillip Lee RHT05

If I were an individual self-identifying as a ‘gay Christian,’ I would at some point in all honesty and truth need to truly face myself and ask…

“Which am I more? Am I more gay than a Christian?”

One of the earmarks of liberal Christianity regarding homosexuality, is the rejection of the infallibility of God’s Word and the quest, if not determination, to find Scriptural acceptance (a canon) within the canon (Scripture) to validate, accept, and endorse homosexual practice. Hence, enter pro-gay theology.

In all fairness, my considerable concern for many men and women today struggling, combating the unwanted brokenness of same-sex attraction is…

How are they to follow the Holy Spirit when much of what God has to say regarding homosexual practice is being dismissed, disregarded and withheld? How are they to hear His voice when His words are being silenced?

Is it possible far too much of the Church is now relying on (feelings) which are very, very often completely disconnected from what the Bible says?

I have shared before it was Christians that held me to the truth and authority of Scripture throughout my discipleship. Admittedly, it was not always an easy road to travel. However, I understood they were holding me accountable because they truly had my best interest at heart. Thank God they never once lowered the bar on the truth of Scripture.

Here is a frightening reality I continue to ponder from time to time.

If God’s truth had been withheld from me, what would I have been left with?

My walk, your walk with God is not about personal sensibilities. The gay Christian identity does not exist in the Kingdom of God. There is a much, much better way.

It isn’t new. It isn’t even really profound. It is the willingness and posture to let Scripture have its unhindered way.

Most assuredly, humility (how we approach and receive the truth of God’s Word), is the ingredient necessary for transformation enabling you and I to give way to God’s Word, even when it is unpopular.

“O God, make me know your ways. Teach me your paths. Lead me in your truth and teach me, for you are the God of my salvation, and for you I wait all the day long.” (Psalm 25:4-5)

Pastor Phillip Lee
Executive Director
His Way Out Ministries

Please consider making a donation at www.hiswayout.com/donate. Thank you, Pastor Phillip Lee

“The harm I witnessed in many lives and personally experienced as well, did not occur as a result of attempting to work through our unwanted issue of same-sex attraction but rather over and through our celebration of ‘gay.’” – Phillip Lee

Today, in America and around the world, in the name of tolerance, diversity, and equality, often the truth has been and is being suppressed regarding homosexual practice.

As a Christian, I believe in the sanctity of life. All life is sacred and deserves to be celebrated. As a result, I remain both alarmed and grieved over the many discrepancies and illusions that continue to be offered and promoted regarding “gay.” As a Pastor, and more importantly, as a Christian, I am willing to set aside the Bible for just a moment and consider homosexual practice from a very real and practical standpoint.

“For Many Gay Men, We Must Come Out Twice,” an article offered in the October 11, 2012 issue of The Advocate, which proclaims to be “the world’s leading gay news source,” a chilling realization and depiction of homosexual practice is offered in detail. Since 2012, I have from time-to-time revisited the content of the article largely due to the undeniable facts and truth that little to nothing has changed in the gay community based upon my personal conversations with many.

During my 17 years yeas as ‘gay,’ I personally witnessed far too many lives devastated and some taking their own lives over the celebration of ‘gay.’ In each and every case the ruin and carnage were not brought about by the individual trying to resolve their same-gender attraction.

There is no question that a goal of the gay liberation movement is to achieve a nationwide ban on counseling for individuals with same-sex attraction claiming “change is not possible” and to say that it is “too harmful.”

In my view, there continues to be relentless social pressure to protect “gays” from discrimination, but also from any form of disagreement, which from personal experience, is tragically promoting a dangerous philosophy.

I find this cause to be even more than intriguing since there is great diversity and disagreement in the gay community over fundamental basics such as “what it means to be gay or lesbian.” The gay community is hardly a unified front as many would have us believe.

While I personally deplore any and all forms of “gay-bashing” and other hate crimes against homosexuals, the extreme medical risks and the fundamental psychological problems often associated with homosexual practice cannot be undermined or dismissed.

That said, today, whether homosexual or heterosexual, the relationship between sexual promiscuity and high-risk sexual behavior are joined at the hip. This is not judgment but rather a fact of life.

In America, very little is being offered which promotes the truth about homosexuality and the general public has slowly but certainly bought into the many untruths with regard to the topic of homosexuality. This did not happen by accident.

In December 1973, by a narrow vote, homosexuality was removed from the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorder (DSM) by the American Psychiatric Association. The vote was not based upon scientific research but on political pressure from homosexual activists.

So much for an individual’s right of self-determination to address their unwanted homosexual feelings and behavior.

In a nutshell, the problem is the politicization of psychiatry, psychology, and most definitely, the Bible, to the extent that the freedom to investigate and address homosexuality has been and continues to be under serious and relentless attack.

Today, in America and around the world, in the name of tolerance, diversity, and equality, often the truth has been suppressed regarding homosexuality. We can and we must reverse the current trend through education, awareness, and understanding.

Yes, because of very real discrimination, homosexual activists created a brilliant strategic plan to gain across-the-board acceptance. Yet their plan was based on a flawed paradigm to persuade people they were born with same-gender attraction and that change is not possible.

It is an undeniable fact this strategy has worked, in spite of no scientific or Bible evidence to support the opinion, notion, or theory.

Ironically, the biggest losers just may be same-sex attracted men and women who may get everything they think they want, but will they be denied what they truly need?

Pastor Phillip Lee
Executive Director
His Way Out Ministries

Please consider making a donation at www.hiswayout.com/donate. Thank you, Pastor Phillip Lee

“Sexuality will always seek to rule and reign when the spiritual is abandoned.”

Today, with many rejecting the Authority of Scripture in matters of faith, practice, and God’s holy boundary lines with regard to sexual expression, clearly what we are witnessing is – “Sexuality will always seek to rule and reign when the spiritual is abandoned.”

On every hand, you find those “who call evil good and good evil, who put darkness for light and light for darkness.” (Isaiah 5:20)

With all sorts of opinions consuming the airwaves, media, and the Internet, it appears everything is now up for question, debate, and compromise, sexual expression in particular.

The moral status of America cannot be determined on the basis of population figures. There is no such thing as statistical morality. America’s blind, amoral pursuit of pleasure at any price, and in any form, has indeed perpetuated the social and dark spiritual dynamics that have birthed and inflamed the various forms of sexual perversion.

Does this not constitute “aiding and abetting the enemy?”

While there are those still attempting to make The Bible and Christianity socially and culturally relevant by rewriting and redefining biblical standards, I find tremendous comfort and strength in knowing God’s Word remains steadfast from generation to generation.

God’s Word does not adapt to culture, it transcends it.

Therefore, it remains crucial that each and every true faithful follower of Christ Jesus understand and embrace “thus saith the Lord” when it comes to God’s divine intent for human sexuality and a host of other issues of our time.

Ultimately, God is not and will not be mocked, and there is no way anyone can legitimately rewrite or circumvent what God prohibits. Anyone choosing to practice any behavior (in any form or to any degree) that God has clearly defined as sin, cannot glorify God and will eventually downward spiral.

But the good news is “if we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness,” (1 John 1:8) no matter how sinister, dark, rebellious or disobedient our actions or heart may be.

How well I remember my first reading of 1 Corinthians 6:9-11 “Do you not know that the unrighteous will not inherit the Kingdom of God? Do not be deceived. Neither fornicators, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor homosexuals, nor sodomites, nor thieves, nor covetous, nor drunkards, nor revilers, nor extortioners will inherit the Kingdom of God. And such were some of you. But you were washed, but you were sanctified, but you were justified in the Name of the Lord Jesus and by the Spirit of our God.”

What hope and comfort this passage gave me. Clearly, according to God, anyone can be an overcomer and cleansed by the blood of Jesus. The Lord Jesus has not changed, nor will He ever alter His Word to accommodate man’s sinful desires, choices, and behaviors.

The reality of an across-the-board crisis of sexual and relational brokenness in America clearly points to an increasing inability, as a society, to make healthy and moral distinctions. Even those who place a high premium on tolerance are obligated to recognize that matters of various sexual lifestyles now threaten the very values and institutions on which a solid and vital society is built and sustained.

I believe we all would do well to ponder the words of Frederick Douglas…

“It is easier to build strong children than to repair broken men.”

What matters morally should and must be determined on the basis of our best understanding of what constitutes human well-being. Today, more than ever, responsible American citizens who truly care for the greater social good of America are obligated to impose, if not place under the microscope, a moral gaze on their sexual behavior.

Unfortunately, not every American is willing or responsive enough to such an obligation. What’s more, they do not want anyone to hold them responsible. Those who have the self-respect to recognize that a person is not reducible to his or her desires or behavior truly exhibit a concern for social justice, personal responsibility, and a true love for this nation which seeks nothing higher than the welfare of people.

When a person’s actions, no matter how sincere, endanger the well-being of society, criticism and confrontation are both appropriate and necessary. Irresponsible sexual behavior is one of our nation’s most destructive realities.

How is it that in choosing to dismiss and disregard a moral compass, we are shocked by the state of our culture? Even so, shocked at what has happened and continues to spread in the Church?

Speaking as someone that was trapped for many years in a behavior and lifestyle, thinking there was no way out, I completely understand how anyone might have difficulty in believing in and receiving God’s forgiveness and restoration.

“But Jesus Christ is the same yesterday, today and forever.” (Hebrews 13:8) God remains rich in mercy and remains willing to deliver anyone. “He is forever our great Sin-bearer and the God who forgives.” (Psalm 99:8).

Jesus Christ is the alternative. He addresses the problem – man limited to self – and provides the way through which we can find fulfillment in God and His people. By releasing us from the dictates of the past, Jesus frees us to live as new creatures.

God’s grace is sufficient because His strength is made perfect in our weakness. He provides a new identity, the center out of which a true sense of well-being can be achieved and enjoyed. As we draw close to Him, we are enabled to reflect His image in our humanity more and more fully.

America is in need of huge and immediate change. I believe the Church should be out front by showing the way to bring it about. If things continue in this wonderful nation as they have, America and the Church will remain adrift without a moral compass.

There was a time when the Church set societal standards. We cannot and we must not apologize for moral and ethical “holy boundary lines” for living. All faithful followers of Christ Jesus are called to a higher standard.

It is absolutely essential we return to pinning our faith to, and subject “all” our thinking to and doing to, what we read in the Bible.

The 138th Psalm says, “I will praise your name for your loving kindness and your truth, for you have magnified your word above your name.”

Obviously, God thinks highly of His name – but He has magnified His Word even above His name – and so should we all.

Pastor Phillip Lee
Executive Director
His Way Out Ministries

Please consider making a donation at www.hiswayout.com/donate. Thank you, Pastor Phillip Lee

Today, very few topics are as fraught with confusion, controversy, and challenge as homosexuality.

Yesterday’s first session of Straight Talk, which primarily focused on “Scripturally speaking, what do we know about homosexuality?” produced a packed classroom with participants actively involved in an interactive discussion embracing, “Living according to God’s Word (the Bible) is what makes us Christ-followers. If we do not learn, follow, and obey the teachings of the Bible, can we truly say we are an active follower of Christ?”

In Matthew 4:4 Jesus says, “Man shall not live on bread alone, but on every word that comes from the mouth of God.”

We use the Word of God to cut through every lie, deception, and argument that comes against the body of Christ. If we do not believe the Bible is the true Word of God, how will we overcome anything?

The next meeting of Straight Talk will be on Sunday, September 7, 2025, at Rock Harbor Churchhttps://rockharborchurch.net/ – beginning at 8:00am.

Future Straight Talk class/care group discussion topics include:

Answers to common pro-gay arguments, Myths of homosexuality, Homosexuality and the reality of change, Reaching gay youth, When a loved one confesses they are gay, Homosexuality and the church…to name a few.

As followers of Christ, we must respond with love to individuals dealing with same-sex attraction while remaining unwavering in our loyalty to God’s Word.

Pastor Phillip Lee
Executive Director
His Way Out Ministries

Please consider making a donation at www.hiswayout.com/donate. Thank you, Pastor Phillip Lee

There is no question what we are witnessing today are two kingdoms in conflict.

The entire world is now very much aware of homosexuality, and America remains very much the leader in promoting the “gay is good” notion. In fact, “gay is good” has swept over our culture like a tidal wave often led by Hollywood’s influence and fueled by the media.

Three huge mistakes are continuing to be made by the Church.

(1) Far too many continue to make homosexual practice the greatest sin.

(2) Much of the Church refuses to address homosexual practice having adopted a vow of silence leaving room for unbiblical opinions and uneducated congregations.

(3) The third huge and harmful mistake is to affirm the individual in his or her practice of homosexuality. It is impossible to affirm what God never affirms.

In the midst of the conflict, our primary call and mandate of Christ Jesus our King remains -proclaim God’s truth because pro-gay theologians, pro-gay apologists and revisionists of Scripture, in their misguided attempts to validate homosexual practice offer a false Gospel.

“The people who know their God will be strong and take action” (Daniel 11:32).

A lot of talk today about revival. Revival?

I believe we will witness revival not through political reform but through the avenue of personal repentance.

We must turn away from sin and towards Jesus Christ to save and restore our broken lives and nation.

Every church must use the Bible as its ultimate guide for wisdom, love, and truth.

Pastor Phillip Lee
Executive Director
His Way Out Ministries

Please consider making a donation at www.hiswayout.com/donate. Thank you, Pastor Phillip Lee

During my 32 years of ministry, I have talked and met with many men and women dealing with same-gender feelings and attractions. Without exception, each man and each woman experiences and battles many different influences which undeniably heightens the pull of temptation into homosexuality.

More than not, the individual’s first step into homosexual practice involves a breaking down of one’s resistance. That said, I do believe each and every one of us has an inbuilt barrier to any sinful activity.

This is our conscience which is the moral law of God Himself written on our hearts (Romans 1:19). This spiritual barrier often keeps a person from gay or lesbian sex, even when they begin to experience same-gender desires. However, the enemy of our soul has his ways and schemes of gradually eroding away this wall of protection.

Without a doubt, one way this has and continues to occur throughout American society is by the constant and continuous exposure to the gay subculture. When our attention is constantly being focused on the homosexual issue through magazines, news broadcasts, newspapers and specials on television, a sin which initially might have created intense repugnance has the potential of evolving to becoming less and less objectionable and ultimately attractive. The initial repulsion can turn to apathy, which has the capability of birthing curiosity.

When curiosity makes its home in one’s mind, God’s wall of protection is beginning to crumble.

The lure of the unknown regarding homosexuality has been enough in some cases for the individual to begin wondering, I wonder what homosexuality is really like? This question has the capability of developing into the visualizing of sexual acts which is often aided by the readily available wealth of gay pornography.

Once again, when anyone continues to ponder and daydream about same-gender activities, the erosion of one’s wall of resistance crumbles. As an individual that has traveled this road, I vividly recall that my novice and innocent approach to thinking homosexual practice as being exciting and ultimately fulfilling was terribly naïve and I did not consider the realities of what homosexual practice actually enables.

The costs of sexual involvement are extreme, and no one can anticipate the emotional and spiritual baggage that you drag along with you when you come away from or break away from an immoral relationship or being sexually active and once again embrace abstinence.

Frankly, today, I don’t know if it is at all possible to avoid full, complete sexual stimulation given our present culture – unless of course we hide at home with a bag over our heads. Today sexual stimulation is around every corner – television, movies, magazines and newspapers.

Therefore, I do believe an important question to ponder is – Is it a sin to have homosexual or lesbian feelings? Does God condemn an individual for being attracted to other members of the same sex?

No, being tempted is not the same as sin. God does not condemn anyone based on our feelings. All men and women experience sexual feelings. All of us experience sexual attractions every day. Married people may be attracted to individuals other than their spouse. Are these feelings sinful?

The Bible distinguishes carefully between such feelings and sin. Inappropriate feelings, in biblical terminology, fit the category of “temptation.” And temptations are not sin. Being sexually attracted to another person is not the same as “committing adultery in your heart” (Matthew 5:28). You have to act on the temptation, either in your mind or body, in order for it to become sin.

Hands-down, most men and women struggling with same-gender attraction tend to forget this huge and critically important distinction between temptation and sin. They walk around underneath a black cloud of continual condemnation and thinking that God is disapproving of them because of their same-gender attractions.

All Christians deal with inappropriate sexual feelings and attractions. Frankly, I don’t believe it’s a stretch to say that we are all sexually broken given this fallen world in which we live and the fact that we all combat a sinful nature. Therefore, those that are working toward overcoming homosexuality are not unique; they do not belong in a different subclass than the rest of the Church. For everyone, sexual struggles are part of being human.

Within the Church here in America, I have become increasingly concerned that many have all but dismissed the idea that the devil is a being that most certainly can influence our lives.

Scripture clearly and abundantly teaches that Satan is a fallen angel of great power, with direct access to our lives. I believe it is a huge mistake by ignoring his existence especially when Scripture clearly identifies him as a tempter “who leads the whole world astray” (1 Thessalonians 3:5, Revelation 12:9).

I strongly encourage anyone combating an issue of same-gender attraction to study the passage in Ephesians 6:10-18 which specifically lists the parts of our spiritual armor and challenges everyone to make specific applications with regard to combating and struggling with homosexual thoughts and temptations.

Looking back, I distinctly recall how my attitude and mindset regarding homosexuality was very tentative at first. However, little by little, thoughts and activities regarding homosexual practice as “ok” become more and more reinforced which ultimately enabled me to embrace the gay identity.

Now, I understand that I succumbed and fell prey to an unbiblical way of thinking about myself. For Christian men and women, their identity must center around what the Word of God says about them and their relationship with Jesus Christ.

Very soon after I surrendered my life to Christ in October of 1985, God clearly showed me that my temptations do not determine my identity. Unfortunately, this is a very, very common and dangerous error especially for Christians who are experiencing same-gender attractions. Our Christian mindset develops slowly but consistently over a long period of time. The Bible refers to this process as “renewing the mind” (Romans 12:2), which I believe is one of the most important principles of attaining significant freedom from both gay and lesbian thoughts and feelings.

Today, I remain alarmed that celibacy or sexual virginity continues to be ridiculed and scorned in American society. Rather than celibacy or sexual virginity being viewed and upheld as an admirable trait, it is too often viewed as old fashioned and even as an embarrassment. Sexual purity is an undeniable, wonderful gift from God. Please do not allow anyone to ever try and convince you that it’s not worth much.

Ultimately, when you and I are disobedient or rebellious to the holy boundary lines clearly defined for us within God’s Word, we do not get to choose the consequences that may come our way as a result of our being disobedient. Truly, “obedience is much better than sacrifice” (1 Samuel 15:22).

Pastor Phillip Lee
Executive Director
His Way Out Ministries

Please consider making a donation at www.hiswayout.com/donate. Thank you, Pastor Phillip Lee

To ‘The Church’ upholding the Lordship of Christ and the Authority of Scripture and not just a place where people gather…

With another birthday now behind me…special heartfelt thanks and appreciation to The Church. I would not have made it without you.

For years I have had a practice when speaking in a church or conference to eventually make my way to the back of sanctuary or auditorium, look toward the front, and think to myself – “This is good. This is decent. This makes sense.”

The years I lived as a gay-identified man within the gay communities of Los Angeles, San Francisco, and New York City produced anything but a good, decent, and sense-filled life. The futility of homosexual practice enabled and produced a false self, a half-person, and left me with a perpetual question mark.

Ultimately, it was the Church that helped me to face reality honestly, compassionately, and courageously. With time, a sense of value, a sense of being loved and accepted, and a sense of living a meaningful life produced the best value of all – human well-being.

Honesty requires I acknowledge there were times of moving into my new life, my new identity, and a new community that was by no means easy. Thankfully and gratefully, within the process, I received an abundance of wise counsel, encouragement, and support.

Today, if I allow myself to look back, I marvel at how easily I became consumed by and locked into a false identity not knowing and realizing I was hopelessly and endlessly searching for “me” in all the wrong places.

The Church that surrounded me treated me with dignity and respect while at the same time being abundantly clear in stating and showing me from Scripture that homosexual behavior is just one of the forms human fallenness can take with divine forgiveness and restoration available to all that surrender to the Lordship of Christ.

To this day, I remain grateful to the Church for helping me to distinguish between healthy and unhealthy desires. It is a fact that truth can hurt, if not cut deeply before it heals. However, truth offered and presented compassionately is more than liberating. When truth becomes known and acted upon, truth frees.

Yes, indeed, Church is good, decent, and makes sense. Where I came from made no sense whatsoever. Truth and reality dictate that until each person comes to grips with this central ethical question – whether and why anything is either right or wrong – they will wander needlessly, hopelessly and God forbid, disastrously adrift.

To speak the truth in love is not to condemn the one to whom it is spoken. Truth is good, truth is decent, truth makes sense and will defend itself. I remain grateful the Church spoke truth to me.

“Let love be without dissimulation…” (Romans 12:9)

Pastor Phillip Lee
Executive Director
His Way Out Ministries

Please consider making a donation at www.hiswayout.com/donate. Thank you, Pastor Phillip Lee

In this powerful and deeply personal message, Pastor Phillip Lee of His Way Out Ministries shares his testimony of deliverance from same-sex attraction and boldly declares the truth of God’s design for sexuality.

Speaking at Rock Harbor Church in Pastor Brandon Holthaus’s absence, Phillip delivers a message of hope, healing, and restoration for those wrestling with unwanted same-sex attraction—and for their families.

From his 17-year journey in the gay lifestyle to the transforming encounter with Jesus Christ on October 5, 1985, Phillip’s story reveals that God is still in the business of new beginnings.

With compassion and biblical conviction, he reminds the Church that the issue is not just homosexuality—it’s the “Authority of Scripture” and the “Lordship of Christ.”

Youtube
There Is a Way Out : Philip Lee

He said to them, “Go into all the world and preach the gospel to all creation.” – Mark 16:15

His Way Out Ministries partnered with Rock Harbor Church to pray and share the gospel at the San Francisco Pride Parade on Sunday, June 29, 2025, one of the largest events in the world for the LGBTQ+ community.

Our mission was to reach people’s hearts with a simple message:

“Jesus Christ, fully man and fully God, lived a perfect life no one else could. He willingly went to the cross, died, was buried, and was resurrected, offering eternal life to all who believe in Him.”

Led by God in our conversations, we prayed for numerous people, and four came to faith in Jesus.

Responses varied—some were open and kind, while others reacted with anger or hostility.

Despite this, our mission was accomplished.

Don’t you know my personal sharing with young men, “I was once a member of the LGBTQ community,” was each time met with, “What do you mean you once were?” sparked great conversation and debate.

No doubt each team member will be talking about and sharing details of our outreach to the LGBTQ community for a long time to come.

And, as the saying goes, “Often a picture is worth a thousand words.”

Pastor Phillip Lee
Executive Director
His Way Out Ministries

Please consider making a donation at www.hiswayout.com/donate. Thank you, Pastor Phillip Lee

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