During more than 25 years of ex-gay ministry, I have talked and met with many men and women dealing with same-gender feelings and attractions. Without exception, each man and each woman experiences and battles many different influences which undeniably heightens the pull of temptation into homosexuality.

More than not, the individual’s first step into homosexual practice involves a breaking down of one’s resistance. That said, I do believe each and every one of us has an inbuilt barrier to any sinful activity. This is our conscience which is the moral law of God Himself written on our hearts. (Romans 1:19) This spiritual barrier often keeps a person from gay or lesbian sex, even when they begin to experience same-gender desires. However, the enemy of our soul has his ways and schemes of gradually eroding away this wall of protection.

Without a doubt, one way this has and continues to occur throughout American society is by the constant and continuous exposure to the gay subculture. When our attention is constantly being focused on the homosexual issue through magazines, news broadcasts, newspapers, and specials on television, a sin which initially might have created intense repugnance has the potential of evolving to becoming less and less objectionable and ultimately attractive. The initial repulsion can turn to apathy, which has the capability of birthing curiosity. When curiosity makes its home in one’s mind, God’s wall of protection is beginning to crumble.

The lure of the unknown regarding homosexuality has been enough in some cases for the individual to begin wondering, I wonder what homosexuality is really like? This question has the capability of developing into the visualizing of sexual acts which are often aided by the readily available wealth of gay pornography. Once again, when anyone continues to ponder and daydream about same-gender activities, the erosion of one’s wall of resistance crumbles.

As an individual that has traveled this road, I vividly recall that my novice and innocent approach to thinking homosexual practice as being exciting and ultimately fulfilling was terribly naïve and I did not consider the realities of what homosexual practice actually enables. The costs of sexual involvement are extreme and no one can anticipate the emotional and spiritual baggage that you drag along with you when you come away from or break away from an immoral relationship or being sexually active and once again embrace abstinence.

Frankly, today, I don’t know if it is at all possible to avoid full, complete sexual stimulation given our present culture – unless of course we hide at home with a bag over our heads. Today sexual stimulation is around every corner – television, movies, magazines, and newspapers. Therefore, I do believe an important question to ponder is, is it a sin to have homosexual or lesbian feelings? Does God condemn an individual for being attracted to other members of the same sex?

No, being tempted is not the same as sin. God does not condemn anyone based on our feelings. All men and women experience sexual feelings. All of us experience sexual attractions every day. Married people may be attracted to individuals other than their spouse. Are these feelings sinful?

The Bible distinguishes carefully between such feelings and sin. Inappropriate feelings, in biblical terminology, fit the category of “temptation.” And temptations are not sin. Being sexually attracted to another person is not the same as “committing adultery in your heart”. (Matthew 5:28) You have to act on the temptation, either in your mind or body, in order for it to become sin.

Hands-down, most men and women struggling with same-gender attraction tend to forget this huge and critically important distinction between temptation and sin. They walk around underneath a black cloud of continual condemnation and thinking that God is disapproving of them because of their same-gender attractions.

All Christians deal with inappropriate sexual feelings and attractions. Frankly, I don’t believe it’s a stretch to say that we are all sexually broken given this fallen world in which we live and the fact that we all combat a sinful nature. Therefore, those that are working toward overcoming homosexuality are not unique; they do not belong in a different subclass than the rest of the Church. For everyone, sexual struggles are part of being human.

Within the Church here in America, I have become increasingly concerned that many have all but dismissed the idea that the devil is a being that most certainly can influence our lives. Scripture clearly and abundantly teaches that Satan is a fallen angel of great power, with direct access to our lives. I believe it is a huge mistake to ignore his existence especially when Scripture clearly identifies him as a tempter “who leads the whole world astray”. (1 Thessalonians 3:5, Revelation 12:9)

I strongly encourage anyone combating an issue of same-gender attraction to study the passage in Ephesians 6:10-18 which specifically lists the parts of our spiritual armor and challenges everyone to make specific applications with regard to combating and struggling with homosexual thoughts and temptations.

Looking back, I distinctly recall how my attitude and mindset regarding homosexuality was very tentative at first. However, little by little, thoughts and activities regarding homosexual practice as “ok” become more and more reinforced which ultimately enabled me to embrace the gay identity. Now, I understand that I succumbed and fell prey to an unbiblical way of thinking about myself.

For Christian men and women, their identity must center around what the Word of God says about them and their relationship with Jesus Christ. Very soon after I surrendered my life to Christ in October of 1985, God clearly showed me that my temptations do not determine my identity. Unfortunately, this is a very, very common and dangerous error especially for Christians who are experiencing same-gender attractions.

Our Christian mindset develops slowly but consistently over a long period of time. The Bible refers to this process as “renewing the mind” (Romans 12:2), which I believe is one of the most important principles of attaining significant freedom from both gay and lesbian thoughts and feelings.

Today, I remain alarmed that celibacy or sexual virginity continues to be ridiculed and scorned in American society. Rather than celibacy or sexual virginity being viewed and upheld as an admirable trait, it is too often viewed as old fashioned and even as an embarrassment. Sexual purity is an undeniable, wonderful gift from God. Please do not allow anyone to ever try and convince you that it’s not worth much. Ultimately, when you and I are disobedient or rebellious to the holy boundary lines clearly defined for us within God’s Word, we do not get to choose the consequences that may come our way as a result of our being disobedient. Truly, “obedience is much better than sacrifice”. (1 Samuel 15:22)

From All of Us at His Way Out Ministries…

To each of you who continually bless us by your encouragement, ministry participation, monthly financial support, offerings, and prayers, we remain truly grateful!

Pastor Phillip Lee
Executive Director
His Way Out Ministries

His Way Out Ministries Podcasts are dedicated to equipping, educating, and encouraging the Body of Christ to reach out and minister to individuals, families, and churches impacted by the brokenness of same-sex attraction.

Our fifteenth broadcast is titled “A Christian Response to Homosexuality”. The faithful Christian Church is called by God to assert its Biblical position that sexuality is God’s good gift – sexually chaste relationships are both possible and desireable – and that sexual passion is designed to be expressed only between a man and a woman in the context of a life-time marriage.

Listen online or download the podcast.

A Christian Response to Homosexuality with Pastor Phillip Lee – Download MP3 –

I have been very fortunate to have met many men and women who have emerged from homosexuality.

When I view the personal difficulties they have had to face, the incredible courage they have displayed not only in facing many difficulties, but also in confronting a culture that uses every opportunity to deny the validity of their values, goals, and experiences, I stand back in awe. It is these men and women, the formerly LGBT identified and those still struggling, who present a model of everything good and possible.

Frankly, the battle that continues to rage is not over just a person’s sexuality, but rather over which spirit will claim that person’s allegiance. The cultural and political battle over homosexuality has become, in many respects, the defining moment for our society.

And the battle rages over much more than just “gay rights.” The more important aspect of this battle is not the political one, it is the one for the individual human soul.

In his book, Eros Defiled, John While writes, “We are all playing Christian club games while men and women around us are tormented by sin, too timid to bare their bosoms, too ashamed to ask our help.”

The Church’s response to the man or woman combating unwanted same-sex attraction will largely determine if he or she will keep fighting. All the counseling, support groups, curriculum, etc. in the world will be in vain if he doesn’t have a church to love him, support him, and relate to him.

When we preach or teach against the evil of a lifestyle or activity, we should also be seeking alternatives to offer in place of the thing we are condemning. A willingness to be involved in the lives of those struggling with unwanted same-sex attraction is the starting point from which solid, successful ministry to them can develop.

“Love, and the unity it attests to, is the mark Christ gave Christians to wear before the world. Only with this mark may the world know that Christians are indeed Christians and that Jesus was sent by the Father.” – Francis Schaeffer

We do not have to respond to every feeling or emotion that comes along. God gave us a mind and the inner witness of the Holy Spirit to guide us into all truth.

Experience must always be subservient to the principles outlined in God’s Word.

Pastor Phillip Lee
Executive Director
His Way Out Ministries

His Way Out Ministries Podcasts are dedicated to equipping, educating, and encouraging the Body of Christ to reach out and minister to individuals, families, and churches impacted by the brokenness of same-sex attraction.

Our fourteenth broadcast is titled “Questions and Answers”. For many, homosexuality isn’t just a social issue, it’s very personal. Our “Questions and Answers” broadcast offers straightforward, godly, and compassionate insights into the subject of homosexuality by providing a series of questions that many want to ask but are often reluctant to voice.

Listen online or download the podcast.

Questions and Answers with Pastor Phillip Lee – Download MP3 –

This is an outstanding presentation and clarification from friends and ministry colleagues at Coming Out Ministries called Conversion/Reparative Therapy?

During the 25-year history of His Way Out Ministries, we have never employed nor do we now utilize Reparative or Conversion Therapy.

His Way Out Ministries takes our mandate and calling from Jesus Himself, “Go therefore and make disciples…” (Matthew 28:19)

His Way Out Ministries Podcasts are dedicated to equipping, educating, and encouraging the Body of Christ to reach out and minister to individuals, families, and churches impacted by the brokenness of same-sex attraction.

Our thirteenth broadcast is titled “How Do We Love Them Like Jesus?” The Gospel of John is clear in its description of Jesus. Jesus was 100% grace and 100% truth. He never erred on one side or the other. If we are truly to represent Christ’s heart and mind to the sexually broken, we must be equally balanced in those two critical areas as well.

Listen online or download the podcast.

How Do We Love Them Like Jesus? with Pastor Phillip Lee – Download MP3 –

His Way Out Ministries Podcasts are dedicated to equipping, educating, and encouraging the Body of Christ to reach out and minister to individuals, families, and churches impacted by the brokenness of same-sex attraction.

Our twelfth broadcast is titled “Letting Go”. As Christians, a huge challenge is giving our loved one over to the Lord. If our prayers go something like, “God, do this,” or “God, don’t allow this,” our prayers need to become, “Lord, I ask you to bring my loved one to You in any way You choose.” Letting go goes against our very nature. However, if we want God to work in the situation, we must let Him do it His way.

Listen online or download the podcast.

Letting Go with Pastor Phillip Lee – Download MP3 –

“When we have children, we release hostages to fate.” – John F. Kennedy

Last night, I spent the evening with approximately 20 parents, Christian parents with gay-identified children. When the meeting concluded and I arrived back home, my mind continued to revisit and process the many things shared.

A common thread that frequently surfaced during the meeting was distinguishing between “acceptance and approval.”

Loving a wayward child the way God loves them means loving them unconditionally. It also means accepting the truth and reality that only God can bring about the change in them you hope and pray to witness.

It wasn’t until many years down the road of a new life in Christ Jesus that my mother shared with me, “You don’t know how many times in prayer I got in the enemy’s face and said ‘I don’t care what he has done or even how many times he has done it, in Jesus’ Name, devil, you can’t have him any more!’”

Choosing to “act” rather than “react” to the unwanted circumstance(s) that have come into your life is a healthy first-step forward. Seek a care group, a community in which you can be real by sharing your legitimate concerns. Those in the group need not be experts on the subject of homosexuality and they may not have ever experienced this kind of crisis themselves, but if they are compassionate people, they can give you a great deal of emotional support and nurturing.

Scripture clearly defines the Church as family. (1 Timothy 5:1-2; 2 Timothy 1:2-5; Hebrews 12:7-10). Having a safe environment and opportunity to be transparent with one another enables opportunity to unlock the excessive pressures of this journey called life and relieves pent-up emotions.

Keep Romans 8:28 forever in your heart. God’s promise that, “all things work together for good,” even when things seem to be shattered should take a high position on the priority list of verses on suffering.

At His Way Out Ministries, we have found and continue to see and understand the wisdom of Ecclesiastes 4:9-10, “two can accomplish more than twice as much as one, for the results can be much better. If one falls, the other pulls him up; but if a man falls when he is alone, he is in trouble.”

Our Part: As faithful followers of Christ Jesus, our part is to respond with godly love, understanding, patience and to clearly define the difference between acceptance and approval.

As Christians, we accept all people but that does mean we approve of how they may be living.

God’s Part: To give strugglers an abhorrence for the behavior that will bring them to a place of complete surrender to the sovereignty of God in their lives, and a desire to change.

God loves to walk in and turn things around. He loves to do what looks humanly impossible.

Pastor Phillip Lee
Executive Director
His Way Out Ministries