Looking forward to teaching, sharing testimony and a Q&A session with youth at Rock Harbor Church – https://rockharborchurch.net – Tuesday evening, May 6, 2025, 6:00 – 8:00pm.

Please partner with His Way Out Ministries in prayer to not only continue negating the many myths surrounding homosexuality, but greater opportunities to present a positive message that promotes Biblical sexuality and redemption themes from Scripture to youth.

“The weapons we fight with are not the weapons of the world. On the contrary, they have divine power to demolish strongholds.” 2 Corinthians 10:4

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When it comes to the topic of homosexuality, youth always have the best questions. Questions that deserve a complete and truthful answer rather than what normally is presented through movies, television, and the Internet.

Questions from youth range from: What are the contributing factors to the brokenness of same-sex attraction? How do I approach someone I believe is struggling with their sexuality? Is it true HIV/AIDS continues to greatly impact the gay community? How do I share the Gospel with my gay-identified friend? As a Christian, should I attend a same-sex marriage ceremony? How do I address someone born one gender but identifies as the opposite gender? Is change possible for the gay and transgender person?

Today, confusion about sexual orientation is all too common during adolescence. As a result, it is risky to label teenagers “gay, lesbian, bi-sexual, or transgender” before they have the wisdom of adulthood and the opportunity to make a fully informed choice. Ultimately, when a teenager is prematurely “labeled,” there is a serious risk of “mislabeling” a portion of sexually confused youth.

Many factors can possibly lead a struggling or questioning youth into homosexual behavior or sexual identity confusion. Such as: curiosity, a feeling of not fitting in, the horrific tragedy of being molested, and the desire for attention, and a sense of belonging.

Today, I remain extremely concerned that youth, including Christian youth, are not getting all the facts with regard to the many facets of human sexuality in order to make a truly informed and godly decision about sexual identity.

When our path crosses with a struggling youth, we must be open to partnering with the Lord Jesus to help turn the tide in his or her life. During adolescence, most people determine the morals and personal identity they will embrace for the remainder of their life. As a result, much confusion and challenges will take place before any semblance of clarity comes. This is all the more true for youth deciding their sexual identity.

The teenage years are a crucial period for the Church of Jesus Christ to speak to youth tempted by the various and numerous forms of sexual and relational brokenness.

I humbly submit that society, and sometimes the Church, is unwittingly promoting social experiments and various behaviors with no justification in reality and, with all probability enabling inevitable serious moral problems with potentially tragic consequences.

In trying to ascertain the rightness or wrongness of any behavior or misguided identity, it seems to me the determining factor should be consequence, not cause. Or, have we become completely ambivalent to what is morally right?

Today, the many and various subcultures into which youth are being thrust, have high rates of depression, substance abuse, alcoholism, anonymous sex, and unsafe sex practices. Few teens possess the judgment and self-control to make wise decisions in such environments.

While I have met and continue to meet with youth who are determined to resolve the issues of their sexuality, most feel too inadequate, lack motivation, and do not have an individual structure in their life to help them through the process of healing and wholeness.

Reaching youth struggling with their sexual identity is something we all can do and must do to help searching youth understand God’s abundant plans for their lives and to counteract misguided agendas that seek to ruin all hope for the youth. You and I may be the only person that will have the courage to share the Good News with a youth impacted by sexual and relational brokenness.

Practically speaking…

Keep the consequence of sin in context. We have all fallen short of the glory of God.

Accepting and loving a teenager without conditions has nothing to do with condoning their behavior/lifestyle.

Offer to serve as an accountability and prayer partner.

Clearly distinguish the difference between temptation and sin.

Don’t overreact – be prepared for the “born that way” argument.

You are not expected to have all the answers.

Never, ever water down the Word of God.

Be patient and trust God completely.

Emphasize the key to overcoming sexual brokenness and sexual identity confusion is in Christ Jesus.

On the Cross, Jesus secured salvation for any and all who commit their lives to Him. At Calvary, Jesus’ blood put into effect the new covenant. He said, “It is finished.”

With that proclamation, anyone can now walk in the fullness of life that He intended and provides. All things are possible, as Jesus intercedes for us. Assuming our sin, shame and death, He declared, “It is finished,” which is a statement about an end. However, each end makes room for a wonderful and glorious new beginning.

While it is easy enough to become cynical about the times in which we live, remember when God is put in the equation of life, a hope that does not disappoint rises with us. It is true that the number of teens struggling with their sexuality has become alarming, but we should and must trust God and reach out to youth with the message of salvation and sexual redemption available through the Lord Jesus Christ.

Pastor Phillip Lee
Executive Director
His Way Out Ministries

Please consider making a donation at www.hiswayout.com/donate. Thank you, Pastor Phillip Lee

Just about any behavior begins to look normal if you are exposed to enough of it.

Does a pedophilia agenda actually exist?

It is 1981, I am living in San Francisco and very much a member of the gay community. On a Sunday afternoon, I leave my apartment and walk down Powell Street toward Market Street, the main drag of downtown San Francisco.

The closer and closer I get to Market Street, clearly something is going on because the boulevard is lined with a huge crowd of people. I have happened upon my first Gay Pride Parade.

I cannot believe what I am witnessing. Frankly, the first thought that occurred to me was – “Why aren’t these people being arrested?” – largely due to the pornographic nature and displays that are parading by, one after another after another. And, I am thinking, “This is what I am to be proud of?”

It was my first and last gay pride parade.

Today, far, far beyond equal rights for many groups in America in their attempts to reweave the social, cultural and political fabric of this country, is an unquenchable thirst for power.

Right on the heels of the power quest is a relentless crusade by many groups for acceptance and to gain society’s stamp of approval on a considerable list of various behaviors.

When gay marriage became legal throughout America (but not lawful in the Kingdom of God), the entire lid to Pandora’s Box came off. Various groups that had been for a very long time standing along the sidelines waiting their turn busted out of the box and began to be much more vocal and visible demanding to be recognized and accepted.

And, let me be perfectly clear by stating, we the Church did contribute to the past, and the on-going cultural vacuum that has allowed the redefinition of marriage, family, etc. to happen with so little resistance.

One of the groups that came parading by in 1981, the North American Man-Boy Love Association (NAMBLA), an organization at the forefront pushing for the right of adult homosexuals to have sex with minors.

At its seventh General Membership Conference held in Boston in December 1993, NAMBLA adopted numerous and various points as well as this position: “Whereas it is impossible to say at what age a person is capable of consenting to sex because every individual and every case is different; and therefore any attempt to set an age is capricious, arbitrary, and unfair…” NAMBLA has long been dedicated to the replacement of the age-of-consent laws.

The push for the acceptance of pedophilia is by no means new on the scene as some seem to think today. With the on-going push and threat for the lowering of age-of-consent laws, so that sex with youth might be legally permissible, reveals a threat which pedophilia poses to children and through them, to society.

Herein lies my concern…

If you can get the public to think pedophilia is just another thing – then the battle for legal and social acceptance and rights is pretty much in the bag.

Have we not traveled this same road before? Silence implies consent.

No matter how strongly we may be opposed to any number of agendas, we are first of all called to be Christians who have the privilege of representing Christ to all the communities of the world, regardless of class, color, nationality, gender or sexual orientation.

That said, it is not enough to condemn the darkness, if we fail to shine a light of hope on our disintegrating culture.

“if I profess with the loudest voice and clearest exposition every portion of the truth of God except precisely that little point which the world and the devil are at the moment attacking, then I am not confessing Christ, however boldly, I may be professing Christ. Where the battle rages, there the loyalty of the soldier is tested.” Martin Luther

Pastor Phillip Lee
Executive Director
His Way Out Ministries

Please consider making a donation at www.hiswayout.com/donate. Thank you, Pastor Phillip Lee

Even though this took place in March 2021, the march and relentless attack upon the heart of the character, the authority, and the redemptive plan of God continue.

I remain convinced that balancing love with a commitment to God’s moral will and revealed truth frames this issue and others correctly and then calls on the Church to rise and be heard on foundational issues.

If you believe in the Lordship of Christ and the Authority of Scripture and believe both are worth defending, please continue reading.

Congressional Testimony

On Wednesday, March 17, 2021, the U.S. Senate received 27 personal testimonies of once LGBTQ-identified individuals detailing their opposition to the Equality Act because it discriminates against them.

Each life experience testimony is now a matter of Congressional Public Record, and I am very honored to share with you that my testimony (below) is among those received by the U.S. Senate.

The Bill was only discussed by the Senate Judiciary Commitee, and it is not clear where the Bill will head next. Possibly to another committee or straight to the Senate floor for a vote.

Let’s pray that this bill gets totally defeated and that God makes a way for more personal stories to be seen and heard by legislators.

My Testimony

The Honorable Chairman Dick Durbin and Ranking Member Chuck Grassley
Senate Judiciary Committee
U.S. Senate
Washington, DC 20001

Dear Chairman Durbin and Ranking Member Grassley:

On Wednesday, March 17, 2001, the Senate Judiciary Committee will be holding a hearing on the Equality Act. I am writing to express my opposition to this bill and share with you how it would have a direct negative effect on me and others like me.

While homosexuality is a topic I speak to and about both professionally and personally, I remain confident that many today are not aware there continues to be men and women with unwanted same-sex attraction that have and are making the personal decision to leave homosexuality.

As a result, formerly gay-identified men and women are often reviled simply because they dare to exist.

Should not diversity and tolerance be a two-way street by recognizing and including the once gay-identified man or woman?

We are real and we are here. Therefore, I must express my growing concern regarding the Equality Act and the often-widespread intolerance practiced against those who choose to face and break free of the snare of same-sex attraction.

Thirty-five years ago, I said goodbye to homosexuality and the gay identity. Like all faithful followers of Christ Jesus, I had to face the decision of accepting or rejecting Christ’s Lordship. Coming out of homosexuality required deep emotional healing and a restructuring of my whole identity, as our Creator, God is the only One who knows exactly how to restore our personality.

I remember so vividly when coming to know Christ at the age of 35, what it meant for the first time in my life to be a man. But more importantly, what it meant to be a godly man. For me to deny or not share what Christ has done in my life would be the equivalent of denying Him.

Thankfully and gratefully, I am far from the only individual who has experienced change. God has not been silent to the cries of men and women wanting freedom from homosexual feelings and behavior. Many have experienced the restorative power of Christ during their same-gender struggles.

One gay activist challenged me by stating, “Phillip, while I commend you regarding your concern about intolerance, I just can’t get my head your being ex-gay. Why don’t you just be true to yourself?”

“Be true to myself?” I replied. “That is exactly what I am doing.”

What makes one individual happy and content may not make someone else happy, because we are all individuals. Like any man or woman, I deserve the right to self-determination and happiness. To give sexual orientation protection to one group while excluding another is outright discrimination.

Without testimony from all sectors of society, including the ex-gay community, public policy on the topic of homosexuality is seriously flawed.

Formerly LGBTQ-identified men and women are routinely denied equal access to participate in public school events and present on diversity days.

Ex-gay conferences, workshops and seminars are frequently picketed by pro-gay protesters.

Transgender individuals are affirmed for changing their gender, but formerly LGBTQ-identified men and women are ridiculed for making the choice to address and pursue any degree of change with regard to sexual orientation.

Ex-gays are subject to an increasingly hostile environment where they are labeled as perpetrators of hate simply because they advocate for or live out a different belief and view of homosexuality.

Ex-gays are criticized and face lifelong intolerance for existing as living proof that homosexuality is not innate.

Frankly, the welfare of individuals, society, and the Church depends on our facing the subject of homosexuality honestly, compassionately, and courageously.

Yes, homosexuals have the right, as do others, to believe that homosexual behavior should be accepted as normal. However, they do not have the right to demand everyone agree with them.

True love is loving despite our differences and treating each other with kindness and respect. It means to live in a society in which freedom of speech and religion are guaranteed.

A true code of ethics calls us to treat all people – heterosexuals, homosexuals, pan-sexuals, bisexuals, etc. – with compassion, and to do our utmost to promote justice and wellness for all. As a result, love and justice are the primary fundamental values which should govern our public policy concerns, as well as our personal attitudes and actions. Not only how we treat people as individuals, but the kinds of laws and social policies which we promote must reflect these basic values.

Ultimately, the Equality Act greatly concerns me in that many may get what they want through the Act but will they get what they truly need.

Respectfully,

Phillip Lee
Bakersfield, California

Make no mistake, the silent mode many have adopted regarding matters of gender, sexuality, and the holy boundary lines regarding sexual expression we are to live within and which have been well defined by God in His Word, has and continues to constitute aiding and abetting the enemy of our soul.

Is there nothing wrong with sex as long as it is consensual? And if there is something wrong, what is it? Does it really come down to a matter of personal taste, private sentiment, and personal choice? Have we become a nation, a world that gains a sense of purpose and meaning primarily from our sexual desires and behavior?

Pastor Phillip Lee

Today, with many rejecting the Authority of Scripture in matters of faith, practice, and God’s holy boundary lines with regard to sexual expression, clearly what we are witnessing is – without the spiritual, sexuality will always rule and reign supreme.

On every hand, you find those “who call evil good and good evil, who put darkness for light and light for darkness.” (Isaiah 5:20)

With all sorts of opinions consuming the airwaves, media, and the Internet, it appears everything is now up for question, debate, and compromise, sexual expression in particular.

The moral status of America cannot be determined on the basis of population figures. There is no such thing as statistical morality. America’s blind, amoral pursuit of pleasure at any price, and in any form, has indeed perpetuated the social and dark spiritual dynamics that have birthed and inflamed the various forms of sexual perversion.

Does this not constitute “aiding and abetting the enemy?”

While there are those still attempting to make The Bible and Christianity socially and culturally relevant by rewriting and redefining biblical standards, I find tremendous comfort and strength in knowing God’s Word remains steadfast from generation to generation. Therefore, it remains crucial that each and every true faithful follower of Christ Jesus understand and embrace “thus saith the Lord” when it comes to God’s divine intent for human sexuality and a host of other issues of our time.

Ultimately, God is not and will not be mocked, and there is no way anyone can legitimately rewrite or circumvent what God prohibits. Anyone choosing to practice any behavior (in any form or to any degree) that God has clearly defined as sin, cannot glorify God and will eventually downward spiral.

But the good news is “if we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness,” (1 John 1:8) no matter how sinister, dark, rebellious or disobedient our actions or heart may be.

How well I remember my first reading of 1 Corinthians 6:9-11 “Do you not know that the unrighteous will not inherit the Kingdom of God? Do not be deceived. Neither fornicators, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor homosexuals, nor sodomites, nor thieves, nor covetous, nor drunkards, nor revilers, nor extortioners will inherit the Kingdom of God. And such were some of you. But you were washed, but you were sanctified, but you were justified in the Name of the Lord Jesus and by the Spirit of our God.”

What hope and comfort this passage gave me. Clearly, according to God, anyone can be an overcomer and cleansed by the blood of Jesus. The Lord Jesus has not changed, nor will He ever alter His Word to accommodate man’s sinful desires, choices, and behaviors.

The reality of an across-the-board crisis of sexual and relational brokenness in America clearly points to an increasing inability, as a society, to make healthy and moral distinctions. Even those who place a high premium on tolerance are obligated to recognize that matters of various sexual lifestyles now threaten the very values and institutions on which a solid and vital society is built and sustained.

I believe we all would do well to ponder the words of Frederick Douglas…

“It is easier to build strong children than to repair broken men.”

What matters morally should and must be determined on the basis of our best understanding of what constitutes human well-being. Today, more than ever, responsible American citizens who truly care for the greater social good of America are obligated to impose, if not place under the microscope, a moral gaze on their sexual behavior.

Unfortunately, not every American is willing or responsive enough to such an obligation. What’s more, they do not want anyone to hold them responsible. Those who have the self-respect to recognize that a person is not reducible to his or her desires or behavior truly exhibit a concern for social justice, personal responsibility, and a true love for this nation which seeks nothing higher than the welfare of people.

When a person’s actions, no matter how sincere, endanger the well-being of society, criticism and confrontation are both appropriate and necessary. Irresponsible sexual behavior is one of our nation’s most destructive realities.

How is it that in choosing to dismiss and disregard a moral compass, we are shocked by the state of our culture? Even so, shocked at what has happened and continues to spread in the Church?

Speaking as someone that was trapped for many years in a behavior and lifestyle, thinking there was no way out, I completely understand how anyone might have difficulty in believing in and receiving God’s forgiveness and restoration.

“But Jesus Christ is the same yesterday, today and forever.” (Hebrews 13:8) God remains rich in mercy and remains willing to deliver anyone. “He is forever our great Sin-bearer and the God who forgives.” (Psalm 99:8).

Jesus Christ is the alternative. He addresses the problem – man limited to self – and provides the way through which we can find fulfillment in God and His people. By releasing us from the dictates of the past, Jesus frees us to live as new creatures.

God’s grace is sufficient because His strength is made perfect in our weakness. He provides a new identity, the center out of which a true sense of well-being can be achieved and enjoyed. As we draw close to Him, we are enabled to reflect His image in our humanity more and more fully.

America is in need of huge and immediate change. I believe the Church should be out front by showing the way to bring it about. If things continue in this wonderful nation as they have, America and the Church will remain adrift without a moral compass.

There was a time when the Church set societal standards. We cannot and we must not apologize for moral and ethical “holy boundary lines” for living. All faithful followers of Christ Jesus are called to a higher standard.

It is absolutely essential we return to pinning our faith to, and subject “all” our thinking to and doing to, what we read in the Bible. The 138th Psalm says, “I will praise your name for your loving kindness and your truth, for you have magnified your word above your name.”

Obviously, God thinks highly of His name – but He has magnified His Word even above His name – and so should we all.

Pastor Phillip Lee
Executive Director
His Way Out Ministries

Please consider making a donation at www.hiswayout.com/donate. Thank you, Pastor Phillip Lee

A huge and significant shift needs to take place. The question is, “Are we, the Church, willing to turn that high-powered perception upon ourselves and ask ourselves some very hard questions?”

1) Are we willing to take responsibility for harsh words or inappropriate actions and apologize for any wrongs we may have committed out of ignorance?

2) Are we willing to share the Scriptural truths about homosexuality such as: No one is born with same-sex attraction and change is possible?

3) Do we, the Church, truly see ourselves as God’s vehicle to reach wounded, broken, hurting humanity – which includes the sexually and relationally broken?

4) Are, we, the Church, truly willing to educate ourselves on the complexities of same-sex attraction thereby dismantling the many lies and replacing them with the Scriptural truths about homosexuality?

In other words, might we, the Church, become much more proactive in educating and equipping ourselves regarding true Christian ministry to those with unwanted same-sex attraction?

In doing so, we would move from the defense mode of the past several decades to reversing the current tide through understanding and education. I would submit that the real enemy we face today is ignorance and fear.

According to Scripture, there can never be any justification for treating homosexuality as morally equivalent to heterosexuality.

That said, we, the Church, are being asked to lower the bar on the clarity of Scripture with regard to homosexual practice which ultimately means faithful followers of Christ Jesus are being asked to set themselves in direct opposition to moral values clearly outlined in God’s Word.

Today, as the saying goes, “The ball is squarely in our court.” We, the Church, cannot and we must not underestimate ourselves. We, the Church, hold the only answer there is to the crisis of homosexuality. In other words, “Are we willing to be the change we wish to see in the world?”

If we, the Church, truly desire to see current trends change regarding homosexuality and the many related issues, our response requires a combination of compassion and understanding.

Scripture is abundantly clear in that homosexual practice is only one of the many types of behavior condemned in the Bible.

Therefore, to condemn homosexuality really is an expression of compassion because it seeks to warn, if not rescue those snared by the brokenness of same-sex attraction.

I still believe in and have every confidence in the Church’s ability, through Christ, to lovingly communicate to the sexually broken that God’s mercy and grace are sufficient for transformation.

The key is education, education, education!

We are all in this work together through Christ!

May God help us on that day when we are asked to give an account of how we responded to the difficult issue of homosexuality so that we might hear Him, say,

“Well done, good and faithful servant.” Matthew 25:21

Pastor Phillip Lee
Executive Director
His Way Out Ministries

Please consider making a donation at www.hiswayout.com/donate. Thank you, Pastor Phillip Lee

“The harm I witnessed in many lives and personally experienced as well, did not occur as a result of attempting to work through our unwanted issue of same-sex attraction but rather over and through our celebration of ‘gay.’” – Phillip Lee

We are in need of a thoughtful, sustained, relevant presentation of the Christian faith, in word and action, embodied in a warm, prayerful, lively Church which has concern for the LGBT community at all levels.

There is no question the past and present goal of the gay liberation movement has been and continues to be achieving a total ban on offering any assistance (counseling, discipleship, etc.) to any individual with unwanted same-sex attraction claiming, “change is not possible” and to say or do so is “too harmful.”

In my view, there continues to be relentless social pressure to protect “gays” from discrimination, but also from any form of disagreement, which from personal experience, is tragically promoting a dangerous philosophy.

I find this cause to be even more than intriguing since there is great diversity and disagreement in the gay community over fundamental basics such as “what it means to be gay or lesbian.” The gay community is hardly a unified front as many would have us believe.

While I personally deplore any and all forms of “gay-bashing” and other hate crimes against homosexuals, the extreme medical risks and the fundamental psychological problems often associated with homosexual practice cannot be undermined or dismissed.

That said, today, whether homosexual or heterosexual, the relationship between sexual promiscuity and high-risk sexual behavior are joined at the hip. This is not judgment but rather a fact of life.

In America, very little is being offered which promotes the truth about homosexuality and the general public has slowly but certainly bought into the many untruths with regard to the topic of homosexuality. This did not happen by accident.

In December 1973, by a narrow vote, homosexuality was removed from the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorder (DSM) by the American Psychiatric Association. The vote was not based upon scientific research but on political pressure from homosexual activists.

So much for an individual’s right of self-determination to address their unwanted homosexual feelings and behavior.

In a nutshell, the problem is the politicization of psychiatry, psychology, and most definitely, the Bible, to the extent that the freedom to investigate and address homosexuality has been and continues to be under serious and relentless attack.

Today, in America and around the world, in the name of tolerance, diversity, and equality, often the truth has been suppressed regarding homosexuality. We can and we must reverse the current trend through education, awareness, and understanding.

Yes, because of very real discrimination, homosexual activists created a brilliant strategic plan to gain across-the-board acceptance. Yet their plan was based on a flawed paradigm to persuade people they were born with same-gender attraction and that change is not possible.

It is an undeniable fact this strategy has worked, in spite of no scientific or Bible evidence to support the opinion, notion, or theory.

Ironically, the biggest losers just may be same-sex attracted men and women who may get everything they think they want, but will they be denied what they truly need?

It is impossible to read The Bible and reach any other conclusion other than, “Yes, change is possible.”

Be ready to give an answer for the hope that lies within us (1 Peter 3:15), speak the truth in love (Ephesians 4:15), be unashamed of our Master’s words (Luke 9:26), act as ambassadors for Christ (2 Corinthians 5:20), and contend earnestly for the faith once delivered to the saints (Jude 3).

Pastor Phillip Lee
Executive Director
His Way Out Ministries

Please consider making a donation at www.hiswayout.com/donate. Thank you, Pastor Phillip Lee

Today the majority of conversations about gender and sexuality remain very, very noisy. Everyone has an opinion. And some of those opinions are satanic which lead to destruction.

“The god of this age has blinded the minds of unbelievers, so that they cannot see the light of the gospel that displays the glory of Christ, who is the image of God” – 2 Corinthians 4:4.

“and that they will come to their senses and escape from the trap of the devil, who has taken them captive to do his will” – 2 Timothy 2:26.

Whether the confession of “I’m gay!” comes from a son or daughter, spouse or close friend, the admission of homosexuality hits like a bombshell, especially in Christian homes. Instantaneously, life seems completely out of control. You are now headed in a direction you never, ever thought you would be going.

No matter where you were or how you heard, those two words meant two things – Your life changed, and someone you loved was gay.

How well I remember having to make the above declaration to my mother. While my confession occurred many, many years ago, I recall, vividly, having to pick my mother up from the kitchen floor. The ironic truth is that while I felt an immediate sense of relief that “the problem” was now out, my parents, friends, and family members were instantly projected into a state of fear, bewilderment, and consumed by a myriad of emotions.

Many experience a wide range of emotions upon learning a loved one is gay. Instantly many find they now belong to a club they had no intention of joining. Life has now taken yet another turn without permission.

Once the initial impact has subsided a bit, while Christian families know God is the answer, it still takes a long time for them to wrap their mind around how to engage God in what they perceive as needing to be done. Make no mistake, when someone we know confesses their same-sex attraction, many Christians struggle with how to maintain a Christ-like manner and position.

Every individual that awakens to their issue of same-sex attraction has already been through quite a heart-wrenching process and therefore it really doesn’t matter whether the individual has embraced the gay identity or is still combating and resisting temptation as well as seeking freedom from same-sex attraction. Very often parents will respond to the crisis by focusing on their own pain and a deep sense of loss forgetting the individual plagued by same-sex attraction has already experienced a huge amount of pain and loss.

Speaking from experience, having waded through years of healing, discipleship, study, and surrender (at times, daily), when homosexuality hit my family, as it has a multitude of others, it brought pain, indescribable pain, and misunderstanding along with it. Largely, because (way back then), no one knew anything about the behavior. Frankly, the only comment anyone offered was, “It’s wrong!” Today, just like then, “that’s not good enough and completely unacceptable.”

Not long ago, a Christian friend and mother I have known for many years wrote me and once again uttered the expression I have heard so many times during the 30 years of His Way Out Ministries, “I never thought I would be contacting you with a problem of homosexuality in my family.” The mother was understandably shattered. Initially, while the mother did respond and react appropriately standing upon the right Scriptures, the son responded with a very interesting and revealing remark. He said, “Mom, you keep telling me how hard this is for you to hear and deal with. Don’t you realize how hard it has been for me these many, many years, being raised in a Christian home and knowing that once this got out it would kill you? Ultimately, I had to make a decision that I knew nobody would be happy with. Please consider and realize that I have my own demons to fight.”

Frankly, there is a great deal of truth in the son’s comments. Whether we agree or not with the son’s ultimately decision or conclusion that he is gay and entitled to act upon his feelings and desires (which I certainly do not), we must admit that he was right in saying he had reached his conclusion after going through quite an intense struggle on his own. It is very important to remember within the evolvement of same-sex attraction that homosexual tendencies are discovered but the gay identity is ultimately embraced. And there is a considerable difference between the two.

When any individual discloses their battle with same-sex attraction, their confession enables an intriguing and powerful opportunity to the family and really to anyone that becomes aware. Can I truly continue to love him for who he is and not for what he does?

As a Christ-follower, if we are becoming effective in not putting unrealistic expectations on ‘anyone,’ we are in line to accept them for who they are, not for what we wish they were. It is God’s part to give those that struggle with same-sex attraction abhorrence for the behavior – an abhorrence that will bring them to a place of complete surrender to the sovereignty of God in their lives and a desire to change.

While there are no specific verses in the Bible telling us under what circumstances, if any, we should adopt this or that policy toward a homosexual loved one, let’s consider a few specific communications that need to be offered with the hope and endeavor of keeping the lines of communication open. What the Bible says and why you disapprove of homosexuality every time you are with your child, friend, co-worker, etc., is not necessary state. However, do make sure the individual knows the following:

– You understand that he/she did not ask for these feelings.
– You appreciate their honesty and transparency in disclosing their issue with same-sex attraction.
– Your belief regarding homosexual practice as sin is not going to change.
– You want to protect your relationship through mutual respect and understanding.
– While you may never agree on the subject of homosexuality, you are committed to not letting that disagreement ruin your relationship.

As faithful followers of Christ Jesus, we must never affirm homosexual practice. But we can at least affirm the fact that the individual struggling with same-sex attraction has tried to be honest with us and has taken quite a risk in telling us, knowing it is not what we wanted to hear.

How well I remember disclosing my own battle with same-sex attraction and giving my family every reason to write me off. Frankly, there was no reason for my family to ever think I would repent and turn completely away from homosexuality. Thankfully, sometimes when God calls us to release a family member or friend through a prayer of relinquishment, that doesn’t mean He is releasing them as well.

God is saying: “Do all you can do, continue to love them and wait.”

Indeed, dealing with the discovery that someone you love has same-sex attraction issues is a difficult stewardship, but the God who gave us this stewardship has also equipped us to handle it and maintain a Christ-like attitude.

“For whatever things were written before were written for our learning, that we through the patience and comfort of the Scriptures might have hope.” (Romans 15:4)

Admittedly, today courageous clarity in conversations about gender and sexuality is required if not demanded ultimately demonstrating we believe that God defines our sexuality and our identity — even when someone we love disagrees with us. This requires courage and faith.

In the midst of it all we can know God. Thank God, thank God for His provision of grace in our lives.

Today, with regard to gender and sexuality, we must ask for clarity and the courage to not abandon the Bible’s clarity even when such clarity hurts and becomes painful. We endure.

Wise and courageous love requires submitting to God’s authoritative voice in the Bible because when God speaks a word on any topic He speaks the final word.

Pastor Phillip Lee
Executive Director
His Way Out Ministries

Please consider making a donation at www.hiswayout.com/donate. Thank you, Pastor Phillip Lee

Frankly, the question shows a certain misunderstanding and attempts once again to place those who struggle with same-gender attraction in a “category” all by themselves. Why should witnessing to gays be any different than witnessing to anyone else?

Ultimately, their homosexuality is not our main concern – or, at least, it should not be the primary concern. The state of their souls is. And if the Gospel is something they’re not interested in, we, The Church, needn’t feel obligated to argue over sexual matters with people who have no interest in such an argument. I see no reason why a Christian should automatically target a gay friend or co-worker as an object of reformation. “As much as possible,” Paul said, “live at peace with all men.” (Romans 12:18)

The Christian Church is perhaps the last organization that continues to promote values that forbid homosexual practice. Frankly, gay militants know that, and that makes The Church an important target. Heaven knows, there has been and there remain tactics specifically designed and intended to frighten The Church into either changing our views or never expressing them. If we allow ourselves to become so frightened, so intimidated, we will deserve the displeasure of God and the spiritual impotence we will surely find ourselves in.

However, history clearly shows that persecution has traditionally strengthened The Church. Maybe, just maybe, the onslaught of gay rights and gay militancy will unite The Church in ways unthinkable until now. What a concept, huh?

With Jesus as our Perfect Role Model, the ethics of Jesus calls each and every one of us as His faithful follower to treat all people – bisexuals, homosexuals, heterosexuals, transgenders, pan-sexuals, etc. – with compassion and also seek to do all within our power to promote and stand for the wellness of all people. Ultimately, it is not only how we view people but also how we treat people that will ultimately reflect the love, care, and compassion of Christ Jesus.

The Church remains the Body of Christ. It has a message of redemption that can come from nowhere else. It is also, the last bastion of hope and refuge for the homosexual struggler. How do you witness to a gay-identified person? Remember, the goal of The Church is not to make “straights out of gays.” It is to preach the Gospel, and there’s no reason or exception to that rule.

God placed you here for a purpose and He desires to use your obedience in sharing Him to influence and impact not only this generation but generations to come. All He expects of us is obedience. To share openly, unashamedly, lovingly, without reservation, the greatest news ever announced:

God loves you and offers a wonderful plan for your life.

God’s love and His plan are available to each and every person and to each, every and any community.

And here’s the bottom line: Sharing the Gospel is simply taking the initiative to share Christ Jesus in the power of the Holy Spirit and leaving the results to God.

Pastor Phillip Lee
Executive Director
His Way Out Ministries

Please consider making a donation at www.hiswayout.com/donate. Thank you, Pastor Phillip Lee

“My flesh and my heart fail; but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever.” Psalm 73:26

Have you ever noticed how good many people are at masking crisis, trauma, fear, anxiety and “where is this thing called life going?”

No matter how we might present ourselves, often, very often, buried just below the surface is an overwhelming sense that something isn’t quite right or outright wrong. We become uncomfortable when someone puts us on the spot, we purpose to play things safe especially when something arises that we just don’t understand, we talk about “those things” that tend to make us look really good, we offer the illusion that we are more spiritual than we really are, we avoid people and topics that tend to place us in uncomfortable surroundings and potentially bring unwanted and difficult emotions to the surface.

Scratch just below the surface and it only takes a split second to realize that regardless of just how much we have changed, we still have a very long way to go. Each and every one of us know things about ourselves that no one would ever guess happened or is presently going on. Things we have done behind closed doors, fantasies, considerations, thoughts, secrets that only God Himself knows. The sometimes-overwhelming reality that something is wrong can be utterly consuming.

Oh, we are most definitely purposed to be and do better. However, the “one step forward and two steps back” seems to surface all too often. Tragically, the scenario brings huge amounts of shame, a desire to withdraw and isolate, to hide. We simply do not want to run the risk of being rejected one more time.

How well I remember when I was a little guy, my stepfather taking me to a horror flick that so frightened me and impacted my life, I became convinced the boogieman had moved into our house and had set up residence directly under my bed. Admittedly, my fears were unfounded, but they were also genuine. There was no boogieman but there was definitely something wrong. Unlike the boogieman, life’s problems are real.

When the world comes crashing through and reality hits, we are often inclined to do whatever is necessary to regain a sense of well-being. Eat something sweet, join the church choir, read a book, surrender our life (again) to God – anything to relieve that nagging sense that something isn’t quite right.

Isn’t it amazing how we can become so fixed and persuaded that if everything is looking good on the outside then the same must be true of what is going on within? God intends on each and every one of us doing much more than just spray washing the exterior.

He takes us deep within to the nooks, crannies, and fathomless craters of our soul to experience His presence when we feel most alone and void of hope. Indeed, the backside of the desert is often where God perfects His promises and enables us to face reality as it truly is which includes our hurts, fears, resentments and address certain motives that we often keep hidden so that we can emerge as changed people. Certainly, not perfect, but more able to deeply and genuinely love other people as well as ourselves because we are more aware of His love.

Yes, life is trying, demanding, at times overwhelming, relationships too difficult, and responsibilities too difficult for any of us to do what is expected of us and deny that we have problems and troubles. While I am a bit cautious of constant personal introspection, some understanding of what is happening and going on inside will often help us to see what changes need to occur on the inside in order to effectively and genuinely impact external changes.

Personally, I have found that my truly knowing God often occurs most when the winds of adversity are blowing, and reality is confusing. Not being willing to weather the storms of life and ask myself the hard questions and face the hard issues all but dismisses intimate, wonderful transforming encounters with God.

Ultimately, it is that which lies just beneath the surface and the sense that something isn’t quite right becomes yet another opportunity for me and the Holy Spirit to deal honestly with “the stuff” and develop faith, hope, love and an awareness that I need to develop a trusting awareness of Christ Jesus more than ever.

Yes, this journey called ‘life’ is often marked by numerous twists and turns and while just below the surface may be a sense that I have much more surrendering, relinquishing, and obeying to accomplish, deeper yet is the awareness, knowing and comfort that God will never keep His distance from me.

I know what it is to catch a glimpse of the reality of God that often overwhelms me with His goodness, His majesty, His love. It is during those times that I become acutely aware that I am deeply, purely and profoundly loved by God the Father.

That knowing – runs much, much deeper than just below the surface.

“My flesh and my heart fail; but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever.” Psalm 73:26

Pastor Phillip Lee
Executive Director
His Way Out Ministries

His Way Out has been faithfully ministering to men and women seeking a way out of sexually broken lifestyles since 1994. We could not do it without the support of Christians like you. Every dollar that you give to His Way Out Ministries helps to further this vital ministry. Won’t you take a minute to prayerfully consider a monthly donation to His Way Out? Please consider making a one-time donation or set up a secure monthly PayPal contribution on our donation page at https://www.hiswayout.com/donate/. Thank you, Pastor Phillip Lee