There is no doubt many Christians have been strongly influenced by the continuous parade of positive media representations of homosexuality.

It does “seem” that people today increasingly approve of homosexuality as a valid life option for friends and family members. But is that truly the case?

Both condemning and endorsing homosexuality miss the mark. A huge and significant shift needs to take place. The question is, “Are we willing to turn that high-powered perception upon ourselves and ask ourselves some very hard questions?”

• Are we willing to take responsibility for harsh words or inappropriate actions and apologize for any wrongs we may have committed out of ignorance?

• Are we willing to share the Scriptural truths about homosexuality such as: No one is born with same-sex attraction and change is possible?

• Do we truly see ourselves as God’s vehicle to reach wounded, broken, hurting humanity – which includes the sexually and relationally broken?

• Are we truly willing to educate ourselves on the complexities of same-sex attraction thereby dismantling the many lies and replacing them with the Scriptural truths about homosexuality?

In other words, might we become much more proactive in educating and equipping ourselves regarding true Christian ministry to those with unwanted same-sex attraction?

In doing so, we would move from the defense mode of the past several decades to reversing the current tide through understanding and education.

According to Scripture, there can never be any justification for treating homosexuality as morally equivalent to heterosexuality. That said, we are being asked to lower the bar on the clarity of Scripture with regard to homosexual practice which ultimately means faithful followers of Christ Jesus are being asked to set themselves in direct opposition to moral values clearly outlined in God’s Word.

Today, as the saying goes, “The ball is squarely in our court.” We cannot and must not underestimate ourselves. We hold the only answer there is to the crisis of homosexuality.

In other words, “Are we willing to be the change we wish to see in the world?”

If we truly desire to see current trends change regarding homosexuality and the many related issues, our response requires a combination of compassion and understanding. Scripture is abundantly clear in that homosexual practice is only one of the many types of behavior condemned in the Bible. Therefore, to condemn homosexuality really is an expression of compassion because it seeks to warn, if not rescue those snared by the brokenness of same-sex attraction.

I still believe in and have every confidence in the Church’s ability, through Christ, to lovingly communicate to the sexually broken that God’s mercy and grace are sufficient for transformation.

The key is education, education, education! We are all in this work together through Christ!

May God help us on that day when we are asked to give an account of how we responded to the difficult issue of homosexuality so that we might hear Him say, “Well done, good and faithful servant.” Matthew 25:21

Pastor Phillip Lee
Executive Director
His Way Out Ministries

His Way Out has been faithfully ministering to men and women seeking a way out of sexually broken lifestyles since 1994. We could not do it without the support of Christians like you. Every dollar that you give to His Way Out Ministries helps to further this vital ministry. Won’t you take a minute to prayerfully consider a monthly donation to His Way Out? Please consider making a one-time donation or set up a secure monthly PayPal contribution on our donation page at https://www.hiswayout.com/donate/. Thank you, Pastor Phillip Lee

You are sitting in church, listening to your pastor.

You are following along and taking notes on the very relevant topic of same-sex attraction because what is being shared is not only relevant to our culture but to you personally.

Sitting in church surrounded by fellow believers you are pretty comfortable and content.

But now, you have the task if not the monumental challenge of facing the son or daughter that sees nothing wrong with homosexual practice and is involved in a same-sex relationship.

You are now the one that gets to flesh out the truth you now know. How is that done? What do you do? What don’t you do?

What does representing Christ Jesus in this matter look like?

First and foremost, let’s put even this crisis in it’s proper context. Embrace the promise of Romans 8:28 that God makes everything – even calamities – work for our good.

• My first encouragement is learn as much as you can about the causes of homosexuality. Simply knowing it is wrong is not even close to being enough.

• Don’t run the matter into the ground every time you see your son or daughter. Often, there can be a good reason(s) for not dealing with a problem right now.

• Do everything you can to keep the lines of communication open and maintain your relationship. If you feel you have been batting your head against the wall seeking resolution of ‘the problem,’ take a rest. It may not be God’s time to deal with the issue.

• Make sure your son or daughter is aware of your belief and position regarding homosexual practice. Heaven knows, God can deal with and use our mistakes but He cannot deal with our inaction. Be clear and precise.

• Do not argue about homosexuality. The very moment the conversation erupts into anger – drop it! Badgering will only produce pushing the individual the wrong direction. Many problems and issues in life are often solved very indirectly; not when we are consciously dealing with them, but when we are going about our normal lives.

• It is imperative to distinguish between “acceptance and approval.” It is important to separate, both in our own minds and to our loved ones, their individual worth from the acts of homosexuality they may be committing.

• Stay completely away from Christian cliches such as: “God created Adam and Eve not Adam and Steve” and “Love the sinner but hate the sin.” Christian cliches only reinforce the belief of many with same-sex attraction that the Christian community is unwilling to truly educate themselves on the complexities of same-sex attraction.

• Do not hesitate to admit when and where the Church has been wrong with regard to men and women with same-sex attraction. We, the Church, have made mistakes and in some cases owe the gay community an apology.

• Refrain from attacking the character of homosexuals when discussing homosexuality. Keep to the real issue: “The real issue is whether or not homosexual practice is, in and of itself, moral.”

• Do not be discouraged if your conversations do not produce instant fruit. What we will answer to God for is speaking truth lovingly and plainly – not for how our loved one responds.

• Be relentless in looking for every opportunity to share it is a personal relationship with Jesus Christ and the indwelling presence of His Spirit which is the foundation needed to overcome same-sex attraction.

• Release control. Let God decide how to bring freedom. God is the only One who can bring about change in the homosexual.

• Let the son, daughter and everyone know that God has a reputation of transforming trapped people with damaged sexualities. “And such were some of you” applies to all Christians who had formerly participated in homosexuality. (1 Corinthians 6:9-11)

• And, remember, those entangled in sin, of course, will have weak faith, so be merciful to those who doubt. (Jude 22)

Somewhere I read, “Hope is not the conviction that something will turn out well, but the certainty that something makes sense, regardless of how it turns out.

”When Jesus Christ is “there,” life has infinite possibilities.

Pastor Phillip Lee
Executive Director
His Way Out Ministries

His Way Out has been faithfully ministering to men and women seeking a way out of sexually broken lifestyles since 1994. We could not do it without the support of Christians like you. Every dollar that you give to His Way Out Ministries helps to further this vital ministry. Won’t you take a minute to prayerfully consider a monthly donation to His Way Out? Please consider making a one-time donation or set up a secure monthly PayPal contribution on our donation page at https://www.hiswayout.com/donate/. Thank you, Pastor Phillip Lee

Speaking as one that spent 17 years in the formidable gay communities of Los Angeles, New York City and San Francisco, I know all too well there are radical gay-identified men and women who will not listen to anything the Christian community has to say.

Their ears are closed and their hearts have become so completely hardened that nothing Christians say will make a difference. Many have completely severed any and all bridges of communication, except for name-calling.

However, there remain men and women practicing homosexuality who would walk away from it if they thought they really could. Having bought into the notion of “once gay, always gay” as I did for many years, they still experience a sense of the wrongness of what they are doing but feel completely trapped with no way out.

To be frank, these are the men and women we have often failed, many of whom are in our churches.

Again, speaking from years of living as a gay-identified man, many in the gay community are hurting because they, just as I did, compulsively act out behavior to mask and cover pain.

Too often, we the Christian community, have failed to draw a distinction between the radical gay community and the individuals sitting in church who might be confused about their gender. Or between gay activists and the son or daughter who has adopted the gay identity but still is looking for a way out.

Please know and understand the radical gay community, gay activists in particular, do not speak for all gay-identified men and women. Frankly, gay activists often, very often, give the gay community a very bad rap.

My point?

We, the Christian community, we do not like it when others paint us with a big brush, let’s not do the same with the gay community.

Draw a clear distinction between the radical gay agenda and the men and women with unwanted same-sex attraction who are seeking help and hope.

The first word from the Church to the gay community should be that we ourselves need repentance.

Pastor Phillip Lee
Executive Director
His Way Out Ministries

His Way Out has been faithfully ministering to men and women seeking a way out of sexually broken lifestyles since 1994. We could not do it without the support of Christians like you. Every dollar that you give to His Way Out Ministries helps to further this vital ministry. Won’t you take a minute to prayerfully consider a monthly donation to His Way Out? Please consider making a one-time donation or set up a secure monthly PayPal contribution on our donation page at https://www.hiswayout.com/donate/. Thank you, Pastor Phillip Lee

Some time ago, a very familiar and frequently quoted Scripture surfaced over and over again at the Forum on Human Sexuality in Kingston, Jamaica.

“And do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, that you may prove what the will of God is, that which is good and acceptable and perfect.” Romans 12:2

But, practically speaking, how is that accomplished by someone like myself that for many, many years lived life by the patterns of this world?

1. I had to agree with God that I had been greatly deceived.

2. I had to agree with God that I had been believing a lie and I had to repent for doing so.

3. I had to allow, I needed to give God permission to show me just how destructive the lie I bought into and believed really was.

4. I had to reject the lie(s) I had believed for such a long time and then choose to believe what God says to be true.

5. I had to decide and choose to stand on the many truths God disclosed to me about myself instead of how I would normally have responded to life’s scenarios and circumstances.

By the way, all of the above mentioned practical points often, very often, involved pushing through strong feelings and emotions that did everything they possibly could to sway me from doing what was right.

Without a doubt, the greatest battle was learning to value truth because it is true, and not just because it felt true.

Ultimately, like a multitude of others, I had to purpose to obediently and confidently take God at His word.

Pastor Phillip Lee
Executive Director
His Way Out Ministries

His Way Out has been faithfully ministering to men and women seeking a way out of sexually broken lifestyles since 1994. We could not do it without the support of Christians like you. Every dollar that you give to His Way Out Ministries helps to further this vital ministry. Won’t you take a minute to prayerfully consider a monthly donation to His Way Out? Please consider making a one-time donation or set up a secure monthly PayPal contribution on our donation page at https://www.hiswayout.com/donate/. Thank you, Pastor Phillip Lee

Is the actual goal of God the Father to make us perfect specimens of what He can do, or is His greater goal to bring each and every one of us into perfect communion with Himself?

Christian perfection has never been nor will it ever be human perfection. Christian perfection is that state of being in a real relationship with God which then manifests itself among the many twists and turns of life and certainly the many irrelevancies of life. Personally, years of study and experience have clearly taught me that regardless of how much doctrine I may know, until I have a clear picture and heartfelt sense that God is truly gracious and good, there will never be any lasting victory in my life.

Looking back, it was more than difficult to believe that God fully accepted me when my conscience told me otherwise. I cannot begin to tell you that the Scriptures which spoke about judgment all applied to me, and the ones that spoke mercy – well, they were for someone else. Numerous personal experiences in my life taught me that people only loved you as long as you pleased them. Therefore, did God really love me in spite of all that I had done and been?

It was the Holy Spirit that helped me see that the Scriptures that speak of judgment are directed at the stiff-necked sinner and not the one who is struggling with sin. As well, I came to understand that God’s promises of mercy are to all that trust in Christ and I was challenged to accept them by simple faith. The more I developed my intimate relationship with Jesus, the more my fears subsided, and, in their place, peace and confidence grew. Incredibly, there were two friends (of the old life) who did not desert me. Thankfully, there were new friends who, knowing all, still loved and accepted me. Trust me, their friendship, love, encouragement, and support provided tangible proof of God’s love. My faith grew.

For anyone to find freedom from any habit, addiction, or compulsive behavior, an undermining of feelings and a letting go of what did or did not happen must occur. Ultimately, the person begins to see God as a loving Father whose unbelievable grace can bring blessing out of all that has been missed or suffered.

I greatly appreciate and value a comment by Oswald Chambers in My Utmost for His Highest, “The only test as to whether we ought to allow an emotion to have its way is to see what the outcome of the emotion will be. Push it to its logical conclusion, and if the outcome is something God would condemn, allow it no more way.”

Has all the study, meditation, introspection, and questions been worth it? You bet ‘cha. As I have claimed and continue to claim, God is for me in every circumstance of life because of His blood and His righteousness. Solid peace and joy have driven away the old depressions that were at times incredibly crippling. By accepting the truth that God will never abandon me – because Christ has endured all the wrath that I deserve – I know that I am never alone.

All things considered, I am satisfied to strive for and ultimately live in a perfect relationship with God the Father so that hopefully and prayerfully, my life will produce a desire and a longing for God in other lives.

Recently, I shared life is not just a struggle for a few, today, it’s a struggle for everyone and no one meets all of life’s challenges flawlessly. It is monumentally important to remember that God does bring good out of trouble.

Otherwise, sorrow will swallow us up.

My particular brokenness took my self-respect and gave me guilt, took my honor and gave me shame, took my honesty and gave me a double life, took gentleness and made me a deceiving man. However, out of all that stuff, came a walk with God, freedom, strength and vulnerability, the ability (I hope) to help others, and maybe, just maybe, the beginning of wisdom.

Heaven knows the journey (which continues) was often not easy. However, it has all been worthwhile.

Indeed, push “it” – whatever the “it” may be in your life – to its logical conclusion and if the outcome is something God would condemn, allow it no more way.

Pastor Phillip Lee
Executive Director
His Way Out Ministries

His Way Out has been faithfully ministering to men and women seeking a way out of sexually broken lifestyles since 1994. We could not do it without the support of Christians like you. Every dollar that you give to His Way Out Ministries helps to further this vital ministry. Won’t you take a minute to prayerfully consider a monthly donation to His Way Out? Please consider making a one-time donation or set up a secure monthly PayPal contribution on our donation page at https://www.hiswayout.com/donate/. Thank you, Pastor Phillip Lee