At the conclusion of each year our website coordinator for His Way Out Ministries prepares a Year End Traffic Report and I wanted to share a few details from the 2023 report because I believe you will find a number of findings insightful and encouraging.

Total page views for 2023 were 14,653. The home page of His Way Out Ministries was visited 4,633 times with “Praying for the Same-Sex Attracted Person” visited 2,027 times. Other Top Posts viewed: Contact His Way Out Ministries (691) and About His Way Out Ministries (472).

Top Clicks (links used when leaving the His Way Out Ministries web site): Facebook.

During 2023, numerous countries made their way to our site for information.

Countries such as: USA is number 1 with 12,656 visits, and then Canada 302. Followed by the United Kingdom 250, South Africa 152, Philippines 137, Trinidad and Tobago 106, China 97, Singapore 97, Jamaica 82, Australia 81, Germany 71, India 59, Malaysia 58, Kenya 40, Ireland 32, Netherlands 29, Nigeria 24, Hong Kong 22, France 20, Finland 19, New Zealand 19, South Korea 19, Guyana 19, Sweden 19, Nicaragua 15, Poland 15, Belgium 15, Brazil 13, Indonesia 12, Switzerland 12, Colombia 11, Portugal 11, Ghana 11, and Romania 10. Other countries in single digits represent people desiring to connect for information and support from all over the world.

Of the hundreds of articles offered on our web site, “Praying for the Same-Sex Attracted Person” has been the most viewed page for 7 years with our Contact Page being number 2.

The New Testament makes it abundantly clear that evangelism is in some way connected with the final return of Christ at the consummation of all history. Before the final coming of the Son of Man, “the gospel must first be preached to all nations.” (Mark 13:10)

Clearly, the greatest thing you and I can do for all people is to bring them face-to-face with the Christ who died for them.

Twenty-eight years ago, when God saw fit to birth His ministry called His Way Out Ministries, He could not have been more specific in defining our calling and mission.

The Church

Raise awareness, educate, equip, and encourage the Body of Christ to minister to those who struggle with homosexuality.

Individuals and Families

Lovingly communicate to the sexually broken that God’s mercy and grace are sufficient for transformation. Restoration and wholeness, through competent ministry, prayer, and a caring Christian community is possible.

Community

Effectively and compassionately communicate God’s heart concerning sexual and relational brokenness, while disputing the unchangeable nature of sexual orientation.

Today, freedom from homosexuality in Christ Jesus does not enjoy a lot of good press. However, The Church, Peter reminds us, exists not least to “declare the wonderful deeds of Him who called you out of darkness into His marvelous light. Once you were no people but now you are God’s people; once you had not received mercy but now you have received mercy.” (1 Peter 2:9-10)

This Good News is for sharing and His Way Out Ministries is here to ensure it happens.

On behalf of myself and the His Way Out Ministries Executive Board (Craig Fulwyler, Jim McArthur, Ginny Mitchell, Diane Ussery, Brody Hart), our Lord richly bless you for your faithful and generous prayer and financial support.

Together, we have, and we will continue to make a difference!

Pastor Phillip Lee
Executive Director
His Way Out Ministries

Please consider making a donation at www.hiswayout.com/donate. Thank you, Pastor Phillip Lee

Nearing the end of 2023 and for the record…

Equality? How is that defined and what does that look like?

What many people forget, some conveniently, with regard to homosexuality and gay rights, is that it is possible (from a Christian perspective) to disagree with homosexual practice or as some state, the gay lifestyle, and yet treat individuals with respect and dignity.

Since the Biblical and theological perspectives are correct which see and define homosexual practice as one of the myriad forms which human fallenness can take, then those practicing or engaged in such behavior deserve the truth and even more so deserve the offer of forgiveness, healing and restoration which is available by and through Christ Jesus.

Therefore, any and all responses to same-sex attracted men and women, and homosexuality itself, clothed in and offered in truth and compassion can never and will never be homophobic, bigoted or hateful.

Truth is and truth matters greatly to God.

Gay activists, in particular, are swift to point out that any disagreement with gay (identity, practice, rights, etc.) must be classified as “hate.”

Gay and lesbian activists often claim they are asking for nothing more than social justice and the guarantee of their civil rights – to be protected from oppression, anti-homosexual violence, housing and employment discrimination based upon their sexual orientation.

Is this truly the case?

Once again, bearing in mind to challenge or disagree in any way with “gay” = hate, (per many gay activists), what about when same-sex attracted men and women disagree within their own ranks and community with challenges and different beliefs and viewpoints regarding “gay?”

Within the gay community there is great diversity and disagreement regarding what it means to be gay or lesbian. Many do not appreciate or use the word gay and many believe same-sex marriage is a joke.

One need only consider the fierce opposition that frequently arises within the homosexual community when any of its own dare to criticize various aspects of either the gay or lesbian lifestyle or their social and political endeavors.

The gay community is anything but a united front as some would have us believe. Therefore, when speaking of the “gay agenda,” it is important to recognize and acknowledge that there is by no means a unanimous agreement on all the details of that agenda.

Therefore, it seems to me when criticisms or challenges surface in their own camp and vehemently opposed, should not that be viewed and termed – hateful?

Personally-speaking, it is well known that the subject of homosexuality for me is both professional and personal.

Herein lies my concern. Many today are stating, “God’s standards just seem unfair – therefore, they must not really be God’s standards.”

When the moral question has been answered and upheld by individuals, families and churches, then, and only then, can we deal with the relationship between homosexual practice, society and the Church.

Equality?

Frankly, the welfare of individuals, society, and the Church as a whole, depends on our facing the subject of homosexuality honestly, compassionately, and courageously.

Yes, homosexuals have the right, as do others, to believe that homosexual behavior should be accepted as normal. However, they do not have the right to demand everyone else agree with them.

True love is loving in spite of our differences and treating each other with kindness and respect. This is what it means to live in a society in which freedom of speech, religion (and belief) are guaranteed.

Pastor Phillip Lee
Executive Director
His Way Out Ministries

His Way Out has been faithfully ministering to men and women seeking a way out of sexually broken lifestyles since 1994. We could not do it without the support of Christians like you. Every dollar that you give to His Way Out Ministries helps to further this vital ministry. Won’t you take a minute to prayerfully consider a monthly donation to His Way Out? Please consider making a one-time donation or set up a secure monthly PayPal contribution on our donation page at https://www.hiswayout.com/donate/. Thank you, Pastor Phillip Lee

– Biblically-speaking, every example of marriage is between a man and a woman. Man cannot redefine what he never originally defined.

– God says change is possible. (1 Corinthians 6:9-11).

– Biblical standards and relevant cultural witness are partners.

– To disagree or have a different belief does not = hate, bigotry or homophobic.

– God’s truth is absolute truth and those that live by His truth should be, must be engaged in the challenge of applying His unchanging standards to an ever-changing society and world.

– God’s definition of love has nothing to do with sex. True evidence of love for God results in obedience to His commands.

– Scripturally speaking, it is impossible to validate homosexual practice in any form or to any degree.

– Did God really say? Satan’s deception has always been and will always be to get you to doubt what God said.

– Grace without truth is deception and useless.

– God’s truth will outlast any lie.

– It is not possible to say we love people while saying nothing and allowing them to compromise in a life of sexual sin, unchallenged.

– Churches that offer a balance, a blend of both truth and grace, are grounded and positioned to offer powerful, dynamic ministry.

– The Rainbow belongs to God because it is the sign of a Covenant.

– One’s true identity is in Christ Jesus – not sexuality.

– “Born That Way” remains a myth, a notion, a personal opinion.

– The Gay Christian identity does not exist in the Kingdom of Heaven.

– Our society’s sexual ethics is in direct contradiction to the teaching of Scripture.

– The Bible is the Word of God and true in all that it contains.

– Clearly, the New Testament Church, was filled with repentant ex-homosexuals who found new life in Christ. (1 Corinthians 6:11).

– Homosexual practice is not the greatest sin.

– No one gets to choose that which tempts them, but we do choose how we respond to temptation.

– To call homosexuality ‘gay’ is the ultimate contradiction.

– Every time homosexuality is mentioned in Scripture, it is always in the context of a behavior, not unlike many others, God says no one is to practice.

– The Church holds the only answer there is to the on-going crisis regarding homosexual practice.

– Gay and Gospel are not compatible.

– Pro-gay theology is becoming more acceptable resulting in sound doctrine, the Bible itself, being taken less seriously.

– The Christian community must respond with unconditional love to men and women dealing with same-sex attraction, while remaining unwavering in loyalty to God’s Word.

– God’s Word never changes. God’s Word does not adapt to culture, it transcends it.

– Jesus remains the way, the truth, and the life (John 14:6).

“If I profess with the loudest voice and clearest exposition every portion of the truth of God except precisely that little point which the world and the devil are at the moment attacking, then I am not confessing Christ, however boldly I may be professing Christ. Where the battle rages, there the loyalty of soldier is tested.” Martin Luther

Gone are the days of Bible-believing Christians living an unchallenged faith, because the land we once viewed as a comfortable home has become foreign territory, barely recognizable to those of us who remember other times.

This interview though recorded in July 2018 illustrates, depicts and defines why we must never be ashamed of the Gospel – and we are told to proclaim its precepts.

But how do we stand up to an increasingly hostile culture that demands our silence?

Walking in faith isn’t so much about fighting culture wars but witnessing Jesus’ restorative grace to those who haven’t yet found it.

The interview will affirm your understanding of the Bible’s views on sin, salvation, gender identity and homosexuality while teaching you why today’s world has grown hostile to Christian and biblical values and where you can find room to minister within challenging conversations.

Listen online or download so you can listen later.

Rock Harbor Church Interview On The State Of The LGBT Movement – Download MP3 –

Also available for listening at Rock Harbor Church
rockharborchurch.net/pastor-phillip-lee-interview-on-the-state-of-the-lgbt-movement/

Today attempts to divert theological arguments regarding homosexuality rather than solve them are widening. Battles over homosexuality in churches have been raging for decades and continue today. Tragically, Sunday after Sunday, men and women gather for worship as though nothing has happened. Caught in the middle of this dark draft are men and women struggling with unwanted same-sex attraction. What are they to do? Where are they to go? Who will protect and defend them?

It is beyond tragic that much of the Church has become ensnared and bound by the false belief that in order to be effective in ministering to an individual with same-sex attraction, they must have struggled with same-sex attraction as well. Frankly, for the majority, this has become a matter of convenience to do nothing.

Compounding the crisis is the absence of conviction.

One of my absolute all-time favorite movies, directed by Robert Redford, is A River Runs Through It. It is a story about a Presbyterian minister in Montana with two sons. One son most definitely takes a more conventional approach to life while the other is a bit of a rascal. The two men take undeniably different paths in life but remain held together by the bond of family unity and respect. Sadly, at the end of the story, the renegade son is shot in a gambling dispute and dies. At the end of the film, the father is preaching. His sermon comes from Scripture and focuses on the often limitations of love. He says, “Often times those we love are the most unwilling or unable to accept our love. We reach out, but what we offer is not accepted. And, so we find that the help we offer is unwanted – but, we can love them all the same. We can love completely, even without complete understanding.”

Caught in the middle of the spiritual vacuum of “say nothing, do nothing” with regard to homosexuality and related issues, is the repentant homosexual that has not only abandoned the sexual sin of homosexual practice but a whole network of support and an identity as well. Surrendering unconditionally to the Lordship of Christ, they enter Church (many for the first time in their lives) with nothing. God, having brought them to a place of repentance, feel very frightened, vulnerable, and very, very alone.

I freely admit that I remain perplexed and deeply troubled by those in the Church that are terrified, if not paralyzed by the gay rights movement, and want to see any further legitimization of homosexuality stopped dead in its tracks but remain hesitant and unwilling to offer ministry to those who desire to come out of the behavior.

This makes absolutely no sense.

Today, more than ever, we are in need of churches that will not sidestep truth or grace but offer crystal clear truth on a host of issues, including homosexuality, toward every person. Frankly, this is exactly what the Church was called to be from the beginning and it is exactly what people are looking for today. It is a Church just like this that saved my life.

Over these past 38 years of my new life in Christ, I have shared numerous times the heart-wrenching fact that all those I once ran with are now gone. To this day, their names, faces, their laughs, haunt me. I clearly and vividly remember a phone call with my closest and dearest friend just before he passed away with AIDS. He remained in San Francisco long after God had transported me back to Bakersfield in 1985 when and where everything in my life changed. The last thing he said to me over a phone conversation was, “Phillip, we don’t understand what has happened to you, but whatever it is, keep it up.” Indeed, I continue to be haunted by waters.

Many know and understand the importance and significance of reaching the unreached peoples of the world for Christ Jesus. What about the unreached homosexual population? We, the Christian community, have a lot to learn about bringing Jesus to the gays and lesbians who hopefully will one day knock at the doors of our churches. How about, “If you struggle with homosexuality and feel trapped – there is hope! Come on into Church and investigate the roots and causes of your struggle with homosexuality. We will walk with you as you look past the surface, deep into your heart, and consider God’s will for your life.”

It is the clarity of the Holy Scriptures that should compel each and every faithful follower of Christ Jesus to be a light where there is darkness, rather than hiding our witness from those who need it.

Today, no one, with integrity, can continue to condemn a behavior or a group of people while doing so very, very little to see things improve.

Pastor Phillip Lee
Executive Director
His Way Out Ministries

Please consider making a donation at www.hiswayout.com/donate. Thank you, Pastor Phillip Lee

Usually, when homosexuality becomes known in a family, the greater attention and focus is normally placed on the individual that has announced his or her being gay.

However, when homosexuality comes knocking on your personal front door, it affects much more than just him or her. Immediately, the crisis becomes a family matter with the family having to work through the blow of learning of a child’s homosexuality.

For Christian parents becoming aware of a child’s homosexuality, it becomes very tempting to respond with, “How can you be homosexual? You’re a Christian!” Parents become immediately flooded with questions such as: What will people think? What did I do wrong? or How are we going to deal with this?

Without a doubt, it is just as difficult for the individual to disclose their battle with same-gender attraction as it is for the family to hear. In the majority of cases, the individual struggling with same-gender attraction has been in an intense battle for a very long time especially if the individual is an adult.

The very moment the admission comes out of the individual’s mouth, all of the anxiety, turmoil, fear, shame, anger, disillusionment, and more, is immediately transferred to the parents (family).

Parents naturally want to protect their children and rightfully feel a huge amount of responsibility for their lives. As a result, it is absolutely imperative that Christian parents establish boundaries when facing and dealing with a child’s acceptance and practice of homosexuality.

In their book Boundaries, Dr’s Henry Cloud and John Townsend describe boundaries as “what defines what is me and what is not me. A boundary shows me where I end and someone else begins, leading me to a sense of ownership.”

Without a doubt, parents experience a huge amount of loss when they find out about a child’s homosexuality. Almost immediately, grief, despair, disillusionment, and fear surface launching parents into a process where they ultimately must give themselves permission to grieve and not pretend that nothing is wrong or that their world has been turned upside-down.

Every year, I receive numerous inquiries for guidance from parents wanting to know what are some of the do’s and don’ts when the holidays are fast approaching.

During the holiday season, parents in particular become overwhelmed with the various looming scenarios related to a gay-identified child coming home for Christmas and bringing “a friend.”

The line(s) between acceptance and approval, love and condoning a sinful behavior can often become a bit blurry and challenging during the holiday season.

Anita Worthen discusses the issue of inviting a child’s partner for the holidays in her book Someone I Love is Gay, “Your child’s partner is not the enemy. He or she is someone God loves – just as he loves your son or daughter.” However, that doesn’t mean you welcome the couple into your home as if nothing was wrong. Ignoring the obvious has a name – denial.

A good rule of thumb in ultimately coming to a decision on how to handle the situation is to ask, “How would I handle it if my child wanted to bring home an opposite-sex partner?” I believe the majority of Christian families would probably invite that person into their home, but clearly define the appropriate boundary line of separate sleeping arrangements. However, if parents are completely uncomfortable with the entire gay scenario, being honest is the very best policy for all involved. Because each family is unique, each family has to find a way to handle the various situations that will undoubtedly surface. There isn’t one universal answer that works for everyone.

Frankly, there aren’t any easy, pat answers for a family working through the awareness of a child’s homosexuality. There are no magic cures, no shortcuts.

However, God is more than able and willing to bring the entire family into a deeper, more intimate relationship with Him since the family, by God’s own design, was designed to be a support system and a place of love and safety.

Ultimately, only through a personal relationship with Jesus Christ and the indwelling presence of His Spirit, will any individual or family be enabled to overcome homosexuality and the many related issues.

Being a very practical individual, I encourage all parents (families) to consider that the crisis does not rest solely with the homosexual child. Within the mix of the various and numerous contributing factors to any individual struggling with same-gender attraction are family and relational issues that enabled the situation.

Therefore, I believe parents, the family, need to be willing to (1) educate themselves on homosexual behavior, (2) seek spiritual guidance for themselves, certainly their feelings and emotions, (3) be patient in embracing the reality that healing is a process and (4) release the child into the God’s care. Admittedly, the last point is much easier said than done.

However, it is when we let go of a child, a friend, or a spouse that we do stop taking responsibility for them, but we do not stop fulfilling our responsibilities to them. Homosexuality is not just about an issue. This is about people – people that God loves and people for whom Jesus died.

When homosexuality surfaces in a family, it isn’t just a child struggling with same-gender attraction; it is a family issue and needs to be healed within the family.

“The Lord also will be a refuge for the oppressed, a refuge in times of trouble.” Psalm 9:9

Recommended Reading

Someone I Love is Gay by Anita Worthen and Bob Davies
This book gives easy-to-understand answers to the family members surrounding the homosexual. Many real-life examples are cited to help families understand and respond to their homosexual loved one in a compassionate way.

101 Frequently Asked Questions About Homosexuality by Mike Haley
In this book, you will find answers to the most often asked questions about homosexuality from an expert on the subject – and a former homosexual himself.

When Homosexuality Hits Home by Joe Dallas
In this straightforward book, Christian author and counselor Joe Dallas offers practical, step-by-step advice on how to deal with the many conflicts and emotions experienced by parents, grandparents, siblings, and extended family members when they learn of a loved one’s homosexuality.

Category Archive for additional Recommended Reading
hiswayout.com/category/recommended-reading

Believing in Him and You,

Pastor Phillip Lee
Executive Director
His Way Out Ministries

Please consider making a donation at www.hiswayout.com/donate. Thank you, Pastor Phillip Lee

For Christian parents, in particular, wading through the tsunami of emotions that accompany the announcement of, “Mom, Dad, I’m gay!” are all but swallowed-up in, “Where do we go from here?”

Mom, Dad, first and foremost remember that you are a child of God, and He has plans to, “prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” He has promised to be with you always, no matter what kind of calamity or mud pit in which you may find yourself.

Give yourself permission to wade through the myriad of real and genuine emotions. Today, with so much of society and the church being dysfunctional, it is often no small task in being comfortable with owning our feelings. Tragically, some Christian parents with gay-identified children have been told, “Don’t cry,” or “You shouldn’t feel that way.”

The challenge? To look through the eyes of faith which enables the acceptance of the present reality and ultimately produces, “What now, Lord?” rather than, “Why?” In other words, hold on to God’s promises.

Indeed, loving a wayward child the way God loves them means loving them unconditionally. It also means accepting the truth and reality that only God can bring about the change in them you hope and pray to witness.

It wasn’t until many years down the road of a new life in Christ Jesus that my mother shared with me…” You don’t know how many times in prayer I got in the enemy’s face and said, ‘I don’t care what he has done or even how many times he has done it, in Jesus’ Name, devil, you can’t have him anymore!’”

Choose today to “act” rather than “react” to the unwanted circumstance(s) that have come into your life. Seek a support group, a care group, a community in which you can be real by sharing your legitimate concerns. Those in the group need not be experts on the subject of homosexuality and they may not have ever experienced this kind of crisis themselves, but if they are compassionate people, they can give you a great deal of emotional support and nurturing.

Personally, I have the utmost respect and admiration for each and every Christian family that blends uncompromised grace and truth with regard to homosexuality. In doing so, they enable and provide God opportunity to remind just how big He is and shall forever remain. Refuse to sidestep either truth or grace by speaking clear truth about every and any issue.

Even in the crisis, because Jesus is there with you, life has any and all infinite possibilities.

The storms of life will undoubtedly do everything they possibly can to rip apart the hope we have in Christ Jesus. However, as we each seek Him with all our hearts, often within the fellowship and community of believers, behind each circumstance, each question and each answer stands the only One who can really help any of us. Truly, God knows.

Scripture clearly defines the Church as family. (1 Timothy 5:1-2; 2 Timothy 1:2-5; Hebrews 12:7-10) Having a safe environment and opportunity to be transparent with one another enables opportunity to unlock the excessive pressures of this journey called life and relieves pent-up emotions.

Keep Romans 8:28 forever in your heart. God’s promise that “all things work together for good” even when things seem to be shattered should take a high position on the priority list of verses on suffering. And consider “In love’s service, only the wounded can serve, for they alone understand the cry of the bleeding heart.”

At His Way Out Ministries, we have found and continue to see and understand the wisdom of Ecclesiastes 4:9-10: “two can accomplish more than twice as much as one, for the results can be much better. If one falls, the other pulls him up; but if a man falls when he is alone, he is in trouble.”

There is much to be said for gathering together. At His Way Out Ministries, we do not presume to have all the answers, but we do understand the human struggle related to the brokenness of same-sex attraction.

We are here to listen, support, encourage and walk with you beyond, “Why?” to, “What now, Lord?”

Pastor Phillip Lee
Executive Director
His Way Out Ministries

His Way Out has been faithfully ministering to men and women seeking a way out of sexually broken lifestyles since 1994. We could not do it without the support of Christians like you. Every dollar that you give to His Way Out Ministries helps to further this vital ministry. Won’t you take a minute to prayerfully consider a monthly donation to His Way Out? Please consider making a one-time donation or set up a secure monthly PayPal contribution on our donation page at https://www.hiswayout.com/donate/. Thank you, Pastor Phillip Lee

Some think the divorce rate among heterosexuals is so high that we simply do not have the right to sit in judgment upon the LGBT community, but jumping on-board and celebrating same-sex activity, unions or marriage by no means proves we have become more advanced, evolved, enlightened, or loving.

It does show and prove we have abandoned Biblical teaching and definitely regressed from the love and truth called for in the Gospel.

Embracing and standing upon the Biblical view of sexual behavior is to affirm the Bible’s inerrancy and its authority over believer’s lives regardless of what culture says.

Ultimately, it’s not about whether or not gays and lesbians are nice people or good citizens. Frankly, some are and some aren’t, just like heterosexuals. It’s not about whether gays and lesbians can be good, nurturing, loving parents. It’s not even about whether or not gays and lesbians should be treated with respect and dignity. Every person deserves to be treated with respect and dignity.

Pope suggests blessings for same-sex unions may be possible

Since marriage has now been redefined to include same-sex marriage, is there any logical reason for us not to redefine marriage in other ways?

There are those demanding equality that promote polygamy or group marriage. If marriage can be redefined to include two men or two women, why not allow marriage between a man and four women, or a group of six or seven adults and their various children?

Today, a popular error that has been made and continues to be made by many, is the attempt to blur the lines with regard to Christian ethics making “love” an omnipotent spiritual quality which has the power to validate anything that is done in its name. Under this particular line of thinking, one could justify any type of relationship, including those considered unacceptable and incompatible with Christian teaching and conduct.

Is the perceived or even real presence of love the criterion for all relationships? Indeed, God is love – absolutely. But true love has boundaries that protect, guide and show concern for its recipients.

Ultimately, showing support for, and more importantly, standing upon The Authority of Scripture “for marriage between one man and one woman” is not intolerant. If so, then nature itself would be intolerant. Marriage was established by God Himself and as a result cannot be redefined by each new generation.

Within the same-sex unions/marriage lesbian mothers are saying that a father is irrelevant to parenting; homosexual fathers say that a mother is irrelevant to parenting. But God says both a mother and a father are relevant to parenting. Is anyone truly serious in suggesting that two men can take the place of a mother’s love, or two women can equal a dad?

Today, especially in America, the words “intolerant” and “discrimination” are powerful words and often used to squash any opinion about moral behavior. In fact, not only is the demand today to keep our opinions to ourselves as to what people do, the equal demand is to affirm a long list of various lifestyles no matter how questionable or experimental.

Compassion, communication, and care must be exercised with regard to the same-sex unions/marriage. The enormous problem in American society is the frequent usage of our experience as a basis to interpret reality. Far too many think, I’m having this experience and enjoying it, so God Himself in particular and society as a whole had better jump on-board, get used to it and fit in around with what I’m doing.

Do we as a society really have the right to redefine unions/ marriage so it is elastic enough to include any grouping of adults?

In the face of what is arguably one of the most damaging social experiments to ever be attempted in this country, the notion of a family with a father, mother and children, all living under the same roof, appears to be becoming a relic of a bygone era, at least in some quarters.

Gay marriage advocates will tell you that what children really need is two loving adults in their lives and that the sex of those adults doesn’t matter – the assumption being that mothers and fathers are interchangeable and optional. Our ultimate preference should always be a family comprised of one father and one mother. We cannot, we must not wrest children from the God-given format of family relationship without considering the possibilities of serious consequences.

Biblically, love is defined not as license to legitimatize sinful behavior of any kind, but love helps us see that there is a better way.

Obviously, we must be as concerned about our own sins as we care about the sins of the LGBT community. We must be concerned enough to speak out about any action, heterosexual or homosexual, that violates God’s intended plan for marriage and the family.

Pastor Phillip Lee
Executive Director
His Way Out Ministries

His Way Out has been faithfully ministering to men and women seeking a way out of sexually broken lifestyles since 1994. We could not do it without the support of Christians like you. Every dollar that you give to His Way Out Ministries helps to further this vital ministry. Won’t you take a minute to prayerfully consider a monthly donation to His Way Out? Please consider making a one-time donation or set up a secure monthly PayPal contribution on our donation page at https://www.hiswayout.com/donate/. Thank you, Pastor Phillip Lee

In essence, we have become a culture who now worships itself as God, not only in mind and body, but also in destiny and purpose.

Many sanction this new “religion” through feeling and experience by pronouncing all truth to be relative.

We are a people driven, controlled and consumed by our feelings.

Very often, truth becomes established according to our experiences. Self-obsession and rebellion against the rule of God has blinded many.

Faithful followers of Christ Jesus are commanded to “come out from among these rebellious people” (2 Corinthians 6:17-18).

Believe it or not, we do not have to respond to every feeling or emotion that comes along. Experience must always be subservient to the principles outlined in God’s Word.

Often, very often, after our radio broadcast, or content offered and posted to our web site or Facebook, the His Way Out Ministries office phone rings off the hook. Members of the LGBT community (if not gay activists) call to log their displeasure regarding the content of our articles, broadcasts, and more specifically the message and position of His Way Out Ministries.

Frequently, calls began with, “I’m a Christian. I go to church.”

Admittedly, each incoming call takes a bit for me to finally jump in and offer a reply (if you know what I mean?).

Seizing the moment to jump in between the caller’s last statement and taking a breath, I ask, “Can you offer a Scripture which clearly defines homosexual practice as being OK with God?”

Each time, the immediate response has been and continues to be, “No, there are none!” My reply?

“Did you hear what you just said?”

I have been very fortunate to have met many men and women who have emerged from homosexuality. When I view and consider the personal difficulties they have had to face, the incredible courage they have displayed not only in facing many difficulties but also in confronting a culture that too often uses every opportunity to deny the validity of their values, goals and experiences, I stand back in awe.

In my opinion, it is these men and women, former homosexuals and those still struggling, who present a model of everything good and possible in Christ Jesus.

Today, the battle that rages, is not over just a person’s sexuality, but rather over which spirit will claim that person’s allegiance. There is no doubt, the cultural and political battle over homosexuality has become in many respects the defining moment for our society.

The more important aspect of this battle is not the political one; it is the one for the individual human soul.

“Love, and the unity it attests to, is the mark Christ gave to Christians to wear before the world. Only with this mark may the world know that Christians are indeed Christians, and that Jesus was sent by the Father.” – Francis Schaeffer

By speaking truth, you can impact and change the future for many.

Be a professing Christian who adheres to and applies the truths of Scripture to our world as never before.

Pastor Phillip Lee
Executive Director
His Way Out Ministries

His Way Out has been faithfully ministering to men and women seeking a way out of sexually broken lifestyles since 1994. We could not do it without the support of Christians like you. Every dollar that you give to His Way Out Ministries helps to further this vital ministry. Won’t you take a minute to prayerfully consider a monthly donation to His Way Out? Please consider making a one-time donation or set up a secure monthly PayPal contribution on our donation page at https://www.hiswayout.com/donate/. Thank you, Pastor Phillip Lee

Whether the confession comes from a son or daughter, spouse or close friend, the admission of homosexuality hits like a bombshell, especially in Christian homes.

Instantaneously, life seems completely out of control. You are now headed in a direction you never, ever thought you would be going.

Without fail, a week does not pass without my receiving at least one phone call or email expressing, “Well, I sure didn’t think I would ever be faced with this!”

The majority of calls and emails come from pastors and parents due to a child’s or congregation member’s confession of same-sex attraction. Homosexuality always seems to be someone else’s problem until it knocks on your front door.

How well I remember having to make my own personal declaration to my mother. While my confession occurred many, many years ago, I recall, vividly, having to pick my mother up from the kitchen floor. The ironic truth is that while I felt an immediate sense of relief that “the problem” was now out, my parents, friends, and family members were instantly projected into a state of fear, bewilderment and consumed by a myriad of emotions.

Once the initial impact has subsided a bit, while Christian families know God is the answer, it still takes a long time for them to wrap their mind around how to engage God in what they perceive as needing to be done. Make no mistake, when someone we know confesses their same-sex attraction, many Christians struggle with how to maintain a Christ-like manner and position.

Every individual that awakens to their issue of same-sex attraction has already been through quite a heart-wrenching process and therefore it really doesn’t matter whether the individual has embraced the gay identity or is still combating and resisting temptation as well as seeking freedom from same-sex attraction. Often, very often, parents in particular will respond to the crisis by focusing on their own pain and deep sense of loss forgetting the individual plagued by same-sex attraction has already experienced a huge amount of pain and loss.

Speaking from experience, having waded through years of healing, discipleship, study, and surrender (at times, daily), when homosexuality hit my family, as it has a multitude of others, it brought pain, indescribable pain, and misunderstanding along with it. Largely, because (way back then), no one knew anything about the behavior. Frankly, about the only comment anyone offered was, “It’s wrong!”

Today, just like then, “that’s not good enough and completely unacceptable.”

Not long ago, a Christian friend and mother I have known for many years wrote me and once again uttered the expression I have heard so many times during the 25 years of His Way Out Ministries, “I never thought I would be contacting you with a problem of homosexuality in my family.”

The mother was understandably shattered. Initially, while the mother did respond and react appropriately standing upon the right Scriptures, the son responded with a very interesting and revealing remark.

He said, “Mom, you keep telling me how hard this is for you to hear and deal with. Don’t you realize how hard it has been for me these many, many years, being raised in a Christian home and knowing that once this got out it would kill you? Ultimately, I had to make a decision that I knew nobody would be happy with. Please consider and realize that I have my own demons to fight.”

Frankly, there is a great deal of truth in the son’s comments. Whether we agree or not with the son’s ultimate decision or conclusion that he is gay and entitled to act upon his feelings and desires (which I certainly do not), we must admit that he was right in saying he had reached his conclusion after going through quite an intense struggle on his own. It is very important to remember within the evolvement of same-sex attraction that homosexual tendencies are discovered but the gay identity is ultimately embraced. And, there is a considerable difference between the two.

When any individual discloses their battle with same-sex attraction, their confession enables an intriguing and powerful opportunity to the family and really to anyone that becomes aware. Can I truly continue to love him for who he is and not for what he does?

As a Christ-follower, if we are becoming effective in not putting unrealistic expectations on ‘anyone,’ we are in line to accept them for who they are, not for what we wish they were. It is God’s part to give those that struggle with same-sex attraction abhorrence for the behavior – an abhorrence that will bring them to a place of complete surrender to the sovereignty of God in their lives and a desire to change.

While there are no specific verses in the Bible telling us under what circumstances, if any, we should adopt this or that policy toward a homosexual loved one, let’s consider a few specific communications that need to be offered with the hope and endeavor of keeping the lines of communication open.

What the Bible says and why you disapprove of homosexuality every time you are with your child, friend, co-worker, etc., is not necessary to state. However, do make sure the individual knows the following:

• You understand that he/she did not ask for these feelings.
• You appreciate their honesty and transparency in disclosing their issue with same-sex attraction.
• Your belief regarding homosexual practice as sin is not going to change.
• You want to protect your relationship through mutual respect and understanding.
• While you may never agree on the subject of homosexuality, you are committed to not letting that disagreement ruin your relationship.

As faithful followers of Christ Jesus, we must never affirm homosexual practice. But we can at least affirm the fact that the individual struggling with same-sex attraction has tried to be honest with us and has taken quite a risk in telling us, knowing it is not what we wanted to hear.

How well I remember disclosing my own battle with same-sex attraction and giving my family every reason to write me off. Frankly, there was no reason for my family to ever think I would repent and turn completely away from homosexuality.

Thankfully, sometimes when God calls us to release a family member or friend through a prayer of relinquishment, that doesn’t mean He is releasing them as well.

God is saying: “Do all you can do, continue to love them and wait.” Indeed, dealing with the discovery that someone you love has same-sex attraction issues is a difficult stewardship. But the God who gave us this stewardship has also equipped us to handle it and maintain a Christ-like attitude.

“For whatever things were written before were written for our learning, that we through the patience and comfort of the Scriptures might have hope.” (Romans 15:4)

Pastor Phillip Lee
Executive Director
His Way Out Ministries

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