The world will say that any statement, challenge or warning homosexual practice is wrong must be categorized as hate.

It is not hateful.

Hate does not want God’s very best for men and women. Hates does not want people to become born-again and join the Family of God.

If idolatry, drunkenness, extortion, homosexual practice and greed (1 Corinthians 6:9-10) leads to exclusion from the Kingdom of God, then love opens its mouth and warns.

Love, true love, does everything it possibly can to see that each person lives forever. That’s what true, pure, undefiled love does.

Yes, there are times when it is good to be silent. But this is not one of them.

Truthless grace accomplishes nothing.

This is a time to speak the truth.

Questions and Answers

Personally and professionally – the issue of homosexuality is extremely important to me. Having once been a member of the gay community, I am very familiar with the subculture. I have felt what homosexuals feel – rejection, a consuming fire to be loved for who you are, anger, and hurt. I am equally familiar with how friends and family feel when someone close to them announces, “I’m gay!” I am aware of how the Church often seems like the last place to go for help. And, I remain painfully aware of just how families, Christian families in particular, suffer through excruciating pain – as my family did.

Therefore, it is my hope that my responses to frequently posed questions will both challenge and inform. Many of the questions are questions people often want to ask but are very reluctant to voice.

Question: Is molestation the main cause of someone struggling with same-sex attraction?

Answer: Same-sex attraction is caused by a combination of possible factors such as: temperament and personality, family dynamics, peer pressure, experimentation with the same-sex, and exposure to pornography – to name a few. Incest, molestation and sexual violation are all too common factors in contributing to same-sex attraction. In the lives of both men and women, same-sex attraction is multi-causal and is usually formed by a combination of factors.

Question: How do I share the Gospel with my gay friend?

Answer: First and foremost, see your friend – not just the problem. Sharing the Gospel with a gay-identified man or woman is no different from anyone else. Avoid making homosexuality your primary focus. Initially, Romans 1 has rarely been very successful in introducing someone to Christ Jesus. Start with the Gospel of John and rely upon the Holy Spirit to reveal God’s truth that we are all sinners and in need of a Savior.

Question: How do I approach someone I suspect has homosexual tendencies?

Answer: Be very, very careful. Having a suspicion someone is struggling with homosexuality versus knowing is extremely different. Never, ever approach someone about their sexuality on a hunch. The potential for doing far more harm than good is considerable. Consider the pain that may by inflicted if you are wrong.

Question: How do you respond to someone who says they were born a homosexual?

Answer: The ‘born gay’ theory, notion or opinion first and foremost violates and contradicts Scripture. God has clearly stated in His Word that ‘homosexual practice’ is a sin. Therefore, why would God then intentionally create a man or woman with same-sex attraction? Also, to date, there are no scientific studies that have conclusively proven homosexuality to be inborn. A gay gene has never been discovered.

Question: Should we as Christians befriend those that participate in the homosexual lifestyle?

Answer: There is a world of difference between ‘acceptance and approval.’ As Christians, we do not want to shun anyone. Most of what they think about us may be exactly what they think about God the Father. Well-defined boundaries are necessary when distinguishing between the person and their actions/lifestyle. Distinguish between ministering to their humanity versus supporting their homosexuality.

Question: Is ‘change’ from homosexuality always instantaneous or is it a process?

Answer: No, more than not, God works through a process which always points to an element of time. Working through past hurts, insecurities and immaturity’s is a process for everyone – not just the recovering homosexual. While God can certainly ‘microwave’ our deliverance, He usually works through a process because He molds us into the men and women He intends us to be.

Question: As a Christian, should I attend a same-sex marriage ceremony?

Answer: The answer for any Christian should be “No, thank you.” That said, don’t just decline an invitation to a same-sex wedding. Explain that your decision is based upon principle and not as a judgment on individuals. A Christian should never support any attempt to subvert the sanctity of a man and a woman in marriage as God intended.

Question: Where does it say in the Bible that homosexuality is a sin?

Answer: Genesis 19; Leviticus 18:22; 20:13; Romans 1:24-27; 1 Corinthians 6:9-11; 1 Timothy 1:8-10. The Bible leaves no wiggle-room regarding homosexual practice. Scripture is clear that homosexuality is against God’s original intent.

Question: What is wrong with two people of the same gender loving one another?

Answer: Nothing, unless sexual expression of that love is involved. Yes, “God is love,” (1 John 4:16) but the verse cannot be twisted to support a behavior that contradicts other verses that have clearly established God’s boundaries with regard to sexual intimacy.

Question: Why is looking at pornography so bad?

Answer: Pornography should be seen as the evil that it is. Hate it for what it does to others as well as for what it does to you and your relationship with God. Pornography diseases body, soul and spirit. Pornography (worship of the human body) leads to sexual depravity and disaster. Ultimately, pornography can be summarized as an idol factory.

Question: How can my church truly represent Christ to a homosexual?

Answer: Educate and equip your church regarding God’s truth regarding homosexuality and be careful to focus on a balance of both truth and grace. Also, a powerful ex-gay testimony from the pulpit will grant credibility to the promise and reality of hope that can be found in the power of Jesus Christ. Never, ever open up the wounds of those impacted by homosexuality (or their family members as well) and then leave them with nothing to bandage their hurts.

Question: Is it true that 10% of the population is gay?

Answer: No. The 10% fraud was conceived by Alfred Kinsey in the 1940’s. Ultimately, the gay community jumped on the figure and began to promote the idea – often with the help of the media. Some members of the gay community continue to promote the 10% faulty research for social and political gain.

Question: Can a homosexual really change?

Answer: If you believe in an all-powerful God, “Yes!” 1 Corinthians 6 states very clearly, “And this is what some of you were.” Leaving homosexuality behind requires a highly motivated person and a person that “holds unswervingly to the hope (we) profess, for He who promised is faithful.” (Hebrews 10:23)

Question: Why all the bother? My pastor says all homosexuals are going to hell.

Answer: Are alcoholics, liars, gossips, etc., also all going to hell? There isn’t a sliding scale of whose sins are more serious. Frankly, if “brokenness” is the criterion for keeping one out of heaven, then I know of no one that qualifies for entrance into heaven.

Question: What is wrong with children having a set of parents of the same-sex?

Answer: Little boys and girls need the influence of both male and female parents to become who they are meant to be by God. Same-sex parents will inevitably give a child an incomplete understanding of and appreciation for the differences in gender.

Question: How should I respond when I am accused of being homophobic?

Answer: Today, many Christians are being accused and vilified with words like ‘intolerant’ and ‘homophobic.’ Jesus never promised our lives would be easy. In fact, He promised just the opposite; “If anyone would come after me, he must deny himself and take up his cross and follow me.” (Matthew 16:24) To be truly homophobic means one has an irrational fear of homosexuals. Objecting or having an opposing view or belief about homosexual practice is not to be homophobic. Often, very often, a Christian must endure the mockery of society while not apologizing for the truth and authority of Scripture.

Question: Should I make homosexuality the topic of conversation every time I’m around my struggling friend?

Answer: No. If your friend thinks every time he is around you he is going to get a sermon on homosexuality, he will purpose to avoid you. Also, ministering to anyone about homosexuality is not the same as arguing. The very moment your conversation becomes heated or emotional – drop it! The only thing you will achieve is pushing your friend the wrong direction.

Question: Is there really hope for the homosexual to change?

Answer: Yes. First recognize that each person is unique. As a result, the struggle with same-sex attraction might be very similar in some ways, but can be very different from person-to-person as well. Each man and each woman desiring to leave homosexuality or lesbianism behind must have an unwavering commitment to the ‘process’ regardless of how painful or long it is. The individual must be extremely motivated and “hold unswervingly to the hope we profess, for He who promised is faithful.” (Hebrews 10:23)

Question: What is the right motivation in leaving homosexuality behind?

Answer: You must be desperate for change. Make God the Father your primary focus – not heterosexuality. Anyone that makes their primary focus of moving fully into heterosexuality and not achieving ‘obedience’ to God the Father across-the-board, enhances their chances of failure. The opposite of homosexuality is not heterosexuality – it is holiness.

Question: AIDS doesn’t seem to be much in the news any more. Has the crisis been resolved?

Answer: No. There remains an extremely high percentage of new HIV infections each year occurring among young gay men. While it is true AIDS new drug treatments are enabling people with AIDS to live out a normal life span, many continue to not take prevention seriously. All of the experts agree the only way we will see significant improvement to the on-going HIV/AIDS pandemic is when people change their behavior.

Question: What if scientists do find a genetic link to homosexuality?

Answer: Would science trump the Word of God? The bottom line for anyone claiming a faith based on Scripture is that even if a genetic cause for homosexuality is discovered, God’s Word still makes no provision for homosexual behavior.

Today, young men and women are growing up learning that the ideas and images around them about sex, gender, relationships, and marriage are all acceptable and all good. Today, many young people are being encouraged to explore their sexuality. Exploration often has a very high cost.

In Proverbs it says that, “There is no wisdom and no understanding, and no counsel against the Lord.”

Any attempt or effort to redefine homosexual relationships as consistent with biblical faith constitutes an attack upon the very foundations of faith and God’s moral law. Personally, I continue to believe that God’s world-shattering love (seemingly weak and pathetic to some today) will one day return to center stage.

Those of us who know God’s love, redemption and deliverance are not waiting for the heavens to declare it. We are walking in it now. What is stronger than the forces of hell? The love of God.

For the foolishness of God is wiser than human wisdom, and the weakness of God is stronger than human strength.” (1 Corinthians 1:25)

“For your sake we are being killed all the day long; we are regarded as sheep to be slaughtered. No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through Him who loved us.” (Romans 8:36-37)

“He is not weak in dealing with you, but is powerful among you. For to be sure, He was crucified in weakness, yet He lives by God’s power. Likewise, we are weak in Him, yet by God’s power we will live with Him…” (2 Corinthians 13:3-4)

The Bible never speaks positively about homosexuality or any other sexual practices outside a lifelong heterosexual monogamous commitment. Difficult as this standard is to obey, it is the calling of Christ for all His followers, including those with same-sex attractions and desires.

If someone you know is struggling with same-sex attraction, I hope you find the above informative and helpful.

Pastor Phillip Lee
Executive Director
His Way Out Ministries

His Way Out has been faithfully ministering to men and women seeking a way out of sexually broken lifestyles since 1994. We could not do it without the support of Christians like you. Every dollar that you give to His Way Out Ministries helps to further this vital ministry. Won’t you take a minute to prayerfully consider a monthly donation to His Way Out? Please consider making a one-time donation or set up a secure monthly PayPal contribution on our donation page at https://www.hiswayout.com/donate/. Thank you, Pastor Phillip Lee

Today, far too much of American culture, which includes the Christian community, has been consumed by the grip of political correctness with regard to homosexuality and related issues.

To bear the ridicule and reproach of this world is part of a dedicated faithful followers’ life in Christ Jesus. The Apostle Paul explains it this way: “For to this end we both labor and suffer reproach, because we trust in the living God, who is Savior of all men, especially those who believe” (1 Timothy 4:10).

Today I hear Jesus say what He told His followers before: Go and do likewise.

Clearly today any public expression of disagreement with any aspect of the homosexual movement, or with homosexuality itself, is met with accusations of homophobia and verbal gay-bashing. The relentless quest by gay activists is a non-stop crusade for acceptance and to gain society’s stamp of approval on homosexual behavior. Even within the Church, the right to withhold affirmation and the right to believe that homosexuality is not on a moral par with heterosexuality remains under constant bombardment.

The strategy of shifting the debate about homosexuality away from religious beliefs and psychology by pro-gay activists to the realms of human rights and social justice has been and continues to be nothing short of genius. Equally within the realm of genius has been the relentless pro-gay camp campaign and strategy of portraying homosexuality as a condition and not a problem. This component of the strategic pro-gay agenda has evolved to same-sex attraction not needing to be fixed but rather to the mode of acceptance and approval.

Tragically, much of the Church has become desensitized by the bombardment and constant flooding of homosexual imagery through homosexual-related messages, media, and people sharing their stories about ‘gay is good.’ It is an undeniable fact that homosexual imagery has influenced many into thinking that it is just another part of life.

We, the Church, have paid and are continuing to pay a very high price due to our reluctance, and sometimes fear, in not talking about and educating ourselves on the subject of homosexuality leaving the culture to teach our children and adults in terms of what to think and believe.

With far too many Christians having mostly ignored the extremely detailed and strategic pro-gay manifesto, how is it we are surprised by the effectiveness of their propaganda and relentless campaign?

For far too long, we, the Church have been in the defense-mode, bobbing and weaving just to fend off the impact of the gay rights movement.

The gay-Christian movement is picking up momentum due to the reinventing of Scripture. It goes something like this: “Revising the Scriptures on homosexuality is appropriate and correct because in light of new scientific evidence, we now understand that people are born that way. Therefore, homosexual behavior and relationships should be endorsed.”

Frankly, both condemning and endorsing homosexuality miss the mark. A huge and significant shift needs to take place. The question is “Are we, the Church, willing to turn that high-powered perception upon ourselves and ask ourselves some very hard questions?”

*Are we willing to take responsibility for harsh words or inappropriate actions and apologize for any wrongs we may have committed out of ignorance?

*Are we willing to share the Scriptural truths about homosexuality such as, No one is born with same-sex attraction and change is possible?

*Do we, the Church, truly see ourselves as God’s vehicle to reach wounded, broken, hurting humanity – which includes the sexually and relationally broken?

*Are, we, the Church, truly willing to educate ourselves on the complexities of same-sex attraction thereby dismantling the many lies and replacing them with the Scriptural truths about homosexuality?

In other words, might we, the Church, become much more proactive in educating and equipping ourselves regarding true Christian ministry to those with unwanted same-sex attraction? In doing so, we would move from the defense mode of the past several decades to reversing the current tide through understanding and education. I would submit that the real enemy we face today is ignorance and fear.

According to Scripture, there can never be any justification for treating homosexuality as morally equivalent to heterosexuality. That said, we, the Church, are being asked to lower the bar on the clarity of Scripture with regard to homosexual practice which ultimately means faithful followers of Christ Jesus are being asked to set themselves in direct opposition to moral values clearly outlined in God’s Word.

Today, as the saying goes – “The ball is squarely in our court.” We, the Church, cannot and we must not underestimate ourselves. We, the Church, hold the only answer there is to the crisis of homosexuality. In other words, “Are we willing to be the change we wish to see in the world?”

If we, the Church, truly desire to see current trends change regarding homosexuality and the many related issues, our response requires a combination of compassion and understanding.

Scripture is abundantly clear in that homosexual practice is only one of the many types of behavior condemned in the Bible. Therefore, to condemn homosexuality really is an expression of compassion because it seeks to warn, if not rescue those snared by the brokenness of same-sex attraction.

I still believe in and have every confidence in the Church’s ability, through Christ, to lovingly communicate to the sexually broken that God’s mercy and grace are sufficient for transformation.

The key is education, education, education!

We are all in this work together through Christ!

May God help us on that day when we are asked to give an account of how we responded to the difficult issue of homosexuality so that we might hear Him, say, “Well done, good and faithful servant.” Matthew 25:21

To trust in the living God is to obey Him, since faith without works is dead (James 2:26).

Pastor Phillip Lee
Executive Director
His Way Out Ministries

His Way Out has been faithfully ministering to men and women seeking a way out of sexually broken lifestyles since 1994. We could not do it without the support of Christians like you. Every dollar that you give to His Way Out Ministries helps to further this vital ministry. Won’t you take a minute to prayerfully consider a monthly donation to His Way Out? Please consider making a one-time donation or set up a secure monthly PayPal contribution on our donation page at https://www.hiswayout.com/donate/. Thank you, Pastor Phillip Lee

It helps every so often to review the way we’re handling the gifts, responsibilities and abilities God’s given us. They’ll be tried by fire someday soon, and that’s a test we individually and collectively want to pass.

“Each one’s work will become evident; for the day will show it because it is to be revealed with fire, and the fire itself will test the quality of each one’s work” (1 Corinthians 3:13).

I have met and continue to meet Christian leadership who actually are afraid to tell the same-sex attracted that same-sex practice is a sin, fearing they will somehow damage them by telling them the truth.

Indeed, our speech should be grace-filled, but that is no reason to shy away from an honest assessment of a behavior, any behavior, God has defined as sin.

It is imperative we be honest when discussing what’s right or wrong, and we must be sure that whoever hears us, whether they are agree with us or not, will at least walk away knowing where we stand.

To date, many have based their understanding of today’s social issues on the Bible’s truth. However, mainstream culture not only sees these issues differently but calls you bigoted for rejecting views they have deemed self-evident.

So where do you “go from here and how do you remain a witness of Christ’s love to those ready to label and right you off as hateful?”

Having/holding the right positions is good.

Living them is better.

Today, anyone who believes in upholding and protecting the Lordship of Christ and the Authority of Scripture, especially its relevance to social issues, as well as offering a defense for sound doctrine will most assuredly find himself in an intense battle.

Articulating Biblical precepts can get you fired, canceled, censored, and possibly even jailed. The demand for dedicated faithful followers of Christ Jesus to be silent is growing.

However, we must never be ashamed of the gospel – and we are told to proclaim its precepts.

If the Christian community is ever to meet the challenge of the relentless pro-gay assault upon the Church and God’s Word, it is essential and imperative the Church recover its purpose and proper place by preaching and teaching the entirety of Scripture as it applies to all of life – which includes the realm of sexual ethics and morals.

For faithful followers of Christ Jesus, following the teachings of Christ and being purposed to reach men and women struggling with same-gender attraction may inflict a tremendous personal challenge, if not a very high price.

However, if we are truly in love with Jesus, our willingness and obedience to go in His Name does not really cost us anything, it is a joy. But it just might cost those who do not know Him or refuse to follow Him a great deal.

Over and over again, I have found that teaching and testifying about a God that saves and delivers from the snare of homosexuality causes many people to have their plans for life upset. The world and its effects have worn away the faith of many. While it is continued to be taught and preached that God can do the impossible, do we still believe that?

When it comes to the issue of homosexuality, the Church has become fractured and viewpoints can differ from church to church, denomination to denomination, and believer to believer.

While some say, “God created some men and women homosexual; acting out sexually doesn’t matter, you are saved by faith and not works; homosexuals were created to be lost; God accepts you where you are and no change is necessary,” each and every one of these misguided false statements flies in the face of the Gospel of Jesus Christ.

I have even tragically heard it said, “the very best a homosexual can hope for is celibacy,” when it comes to change. Is it any wonder the man or woman struggling with homosexuality is often completely confused about the Christian viewpoint? Too often, the individual trying to follow and be obedient to the full Gospel of Christ encounters someone who is there to tell him he doesn’t have to change his life, just change churches. It is far easier to change churches than it is to be obedient and change your attitude and behavior.

As a Christian, I must be obedient and involved in the full purposes of God which will often cause many to be offended. However, being obedient to Jesus never brings dishonor to Him. The only thing that dishonors Him is not obeying Him.

I believe an appropriate question for the Church today regarding homosexuality and related issues is, “Am I being loyal to the notions of Jesus, or loyal to Him?”

Are we, His Church, remaining loyal to what He has clearly stated in His Word regarding homosexuality, or are we trying to find compromises with conceptions that never came from Him?

Helping a man or woman to come out of homosexuality takes a tremendous amount of effort. Frankly, it is much, much easier to say that it simply can’t be done than to embark on a journey that may last for a very long time. Tragically, many have counted the cost and ultimately made the decision that it simply wasn’t worth the effort. However, that never has, nor will it ever minimize God’s power or His sovereignty.

Yes, God is more than able to change our life, but He requires our obedience and participation. Unfortunately, we live in a world today that seeks, if not demands, a simple and natural explanation for just about everything. Anytime we look to the world for definitive answers, we place ourselves on shifting sand.

When a person who was once controlled by his sin is now free from that sin and engaged in a new kind of life pattern, hasn’t change occurred?

Oswald Chambers states in My Utmost for His Highest, “A man is a slave for obeying unless behind his obedience there is recognition of a holy God.” I find it remarkable that God never insists on our obedience, but when we truly know Him, we want to instantly obey Him and live according to His perfect will from sunup to sundown.

Indeed, obedience is much better than sacrifice. However, the wonderful hymn, “I Surrender All,” does not seem to be at the top of the charts today. Today, like never before, God desires that all men and women surrender their sexuality to Him. When anyone is obedient and fully surrenders their life to Him, which includes their sexuality, life will take on new meaning, purpose and a relationship with God, that many never thought possible, will become a reality. Why? Because God always blesses obedience.

“I tell you the truth unless a kernel of wheat falls to the ground and dies, it remains only a single seed. But if it dies, it produces many seeds. The man who loves his life will lose it, while the man who hates his life in this world will keep it for eternal life.” (John 12:24-25 NIV)

Today, there remains a remnant being used of God to bring repentance and restoration to men and women with unwanted same-sex attraction. Personally, I continue to hope and pray their example will bring repentance and restoration to the Church of Jesus Christ.

Holiness, godliness, and spiritual discipline should be, must be the distinctive marks of the true Church. Jesus prayed that His people be kept in truth: “Sanctify them by Your truth. Your word is truth.” (John 17:17)

Compromising God’s Word, His Truth, or withholding His Truth only leads to greater unity with the world and not His Church.

As Christians, may we never forget that while our obedience to the Great Commission may cost us personally, the good news of spiritual deliverance through Jesus Christ remains an important and vital resource that Christians must share.

On God’s truth is where a Christian, the Church must stand.

Having/holding the right positions is good.

Living them is better.

Pastor Phillip Lee
Executive Director
His Way Out Ministries

Please consider making a donation at www.hiswayout.com/donate. Thank you, Pastor Phillip Lee

Educational Workshops address and cover questions and topics such as:

*A culture war in society should not dictate to the Church what the Church should believe.

*When the authority of the Bible is denigrated, the Church of Jesus Christ, the light of the world, will be without any clear guidance of her own.

*If we, the Church, have offered homosexual strugglers little help on their way toward making huge, life-changing decisions, don’t we bear some of the responsibility?

*The true crisis we face is not homosexuality, but rather the Lordship of Christ and the Authority of Scripture (Isaiah 5:20).

*Scripture provides evidence homosexuality, though deeply ingrained and habitually practiced, can be overcome both as a lifestyle and as an identity.

*Scripturally-speaking: What do we know about homosexuality?

*What does it mean to be truly homophobic?

*What are the responsibilities of the Church to the same-sex attracted individual?

Each Educational Workshop emphasizes adherence to Biblical principles governing relationships, sexuality, and life choices.

His Way Out Ministries Educational Workshops

Educational Workshops

Demystifying Homosexuality: Questions and Answers

An educational workshop designed to help clear up the misconceptions many have today about homosexuality. Why should sharing the Gospel to a gay person be approached differently than to anyone else? Scripturally-speaking: what do we know about homosexuality? Why doesn’t God just go ‘Poof!’ and make it go away? Is just saying homosexuality is a sin good enough? Does it matter why the person you love is homosexual? The workshop offers biblical and compassionate responses to homosexuality for parents, pastors, co-workers, a neighbor, or maybe just a good friend.

Homosexuality and the Reality of Change

Pastor Phillip Lee, Founder and Executive Director of His Way Out Ministries, brings a wealth of personal, as well as pastoral experience to this workshop. Pastor Lee will share his testimony, as well as discuss the questions: Can homosexuals really change? How long does change take? Will the person become heterosexual? How do I respond to pro-gay arguments?

The Myths of Homosexuality

If you’re like most Christians, you’re puzzled by homosexuality. You want to reach out in some way – but how? The first step is to become knowledgeable. This workshop helps clear up the many misconceptions most Christians have about homosexuality. Is homosexuality the worst of all sins? Is homosexuality genetic? Is homosexuality just a choice? Will marriage really fix a homosexual?

We all found the time to be very meaningfully spent and your personal sharing and commentary on the issue of same-sex attraction, choices involved in terms of adopting a gay identity and pursuing gay life were very helpful in expanding our understanding of these complex issues.

Pastor Steve Downs, Executive Pastor, River Lakes Community Church

There’s Something I Need To Tell You!
(When a Loved One Confesses They Are Homosexual)

What do you say and do when a loved one confesses they are homosexual? This workshop offers practical steps and information to help you understand your loved one, guidance to keep the lines of communication open without compromising your beliefs, and presents the biblical position on homosexuality.

Reaching Gay Youth

While the number of youth embracing homosexuality is alarming, there are many ways in which you can reach them. This workshop centers on why youth should question homosexuality and what role you can play in help bringing that about. What if people think I’m gay? Is there a difference between homosexual temptation and homosexual sin? How do I respond to the ‘born gay’ argument? What is the key to overcoming homosexuality?

I was gratified by the degree to which we seem to see and understand these issues in a very similar manner. I am grateful to have gotten to know you and may God richly bless and use you and your ministry in the lives of many.

Ian Boyne, Host of Religious Hard Talk, Kingston, Jamaica

Understanding Homosexuality

Is change possible? What causes homosexuality? Does God condemn a person for being attracted to members of their own sex? Is there a difference between homosexual tendencies and a gay identity? What are some of the battles each man and each woman will face in overcoming same-gender attraction? The workshop offers biblical and compassionate responses to homosexuality for parents, pastors, co-workers, a neighbor, or maybe just a good friend.

Homosexuality and the Church

The theological debate over what God’s Word says about homosexuality has become quite a phenomenon. Many concerns and questions must be addressed in churches wishing to reach out to homosexuals and their families. As a pastor, how do I lead our church to effectively love homosexuals? How do I introduce a gay-identified person to Christ? Is there a difference between the terms gay and homosexual? How does my church evaluate if we are handling homosexuality appropriately?

For more information or to schedule an educational workshop at your church, please contact His Way Out Ministries.

His heart is racing with fear and anxiety.

The last thing he wants to do is talk about his struggle with homosexuality. However, his conviction is incredibly strong, and he wants help.

Mustering up all the courage he can, he steps out.

“Excuse me, Pastor, do you have a minute to talk with me?”

The pastor’s verbal response says yes, but his body language sends the message that he’d rather not. With his stomach in knots, he confesses his struggle with homosexual thoughts and temptations.

Barely into his confession, the pastor suddenly interrupts.

“Let’s pray about your problem right now.”

The pastor prays binding “the foul demon of homosexuality” and commands Satan to flee. He “pronounces victory” over the man’s battle with homosexuality. Concluding the prayer, he glibly pats the man on the back and walks away.

What has just happened here?

The pastor has walked away, and the man is thinking to himself, “I don’t feel a bit different.” In fact, he feels violated.

He leaves church hoping that somehow his struggle with homosexuality will just disappear. It didn’t and it won’t just go away.

Eventually, the man believes that it isn’t safe to share his struggle with anyone. Ultimately, several years later, he finds himself in his first homosexual relationship.

Stories like this are all too common.

Many men and women feel that they have nowhere to turn. Often when they muster up enough courage to finally seek help, their experience turns out to be a negative one. Secular influence, on the other hand, encourages them to embrace their homosexual identity.

Anyone who has been in Christian ministry, even for a short period of time, undoubtedly knows that same-sex attraction even affects Christian men and women.

So, what can you do to help? What is a good approach?

First, some words that will most definitely hurt instead of help.

* “I can’t believe it. This is so unlike you.”
* “This is just a phase you’re going through.”
* “Just try to be straight. I know this nice boy/girl you could date.”

What to do…

* Avoid using labels. Homosexuality may not be ‘the issue’ at all. Some individuals (especially youth) will assume they are gay simply because they engaged in experiments with someone of the same sex. No one should label their self-based on his or her experiences or thoughts.

* Avoid trite sayings. The individual confiding in you is sharing his/her deepest, darkest secret. Clearly, if it is important to them – make it important to you. Trivializing what is being shared with you only intensifies the problem.

* Acknowledge what they are sharing. “Thank you for confiding in me. You must really be having a very difficult time with all of this going on in your mind” is an excellent way of letting the person know you just heard what they have shared. Let the individual know that what has been shared does not – will not- change your relationship.

* Demonstrate your care, concern, your love. Do not hesitate or be afraid to touch the person who confesses their struggle. A tender hand on the shoulder or a hug speaks volumes. Consider confessing some of your own insecurities or struggles. This helps him/her to see and know they are not alone.

Finally, “BE THERE!”

The greatest ministry to individuals struggling with sexual identity issues or not – is your time. They all want to know that you genuinely care about them, and you will be there for them, that they will be loved and accepted, and that they have security in your friendship.

We are Christ’s ambassadors, called to reconcile a lost world to God (2 Corinthians 5:20). It’s up to you and me to reach men and women with the unwanted brokenness of same-sex attraction, providing truth and a way of escape.

Never, ever, ever, ever minimize the importance and significance of your presence. It speaks volumes!

You may feel unqualified and incapable of offering anything of value, but often times it only takes a willing heart and someone to just BE THERE!

Pastor Phillip Lee
Executive Director
His Way Out Ministries

His Way Out has been faithfully ministering to men and women seeking a way out of sexually broken lifestyles since 1994. We could not do it without the support of Christians like you. Every dollar that you give to His Way Out Ministries helps to further this vital ministry. Won’t you take a minute to prayerfully consider a monthly donation to His Way Out? Please consider making a one-time donation or set up a secure monthly PayPal contribution on our donation page at https://www.hiswayout.com/donate/. Thank you, Pastor Phillip Lee

If all Scripture is inspired by God (and I believe it is) and meant to be used by His servants to teach and correct (2 Timothy 3:16), then surely, we are mandated by God to know, express, and defend all of Scripture.

The Bible is full of good news about our past and our future as well as our present day-to-day life. It’s full of good news for today.

However, to live in the goodness of this news, there are specific and precious truths we each must learn and today, preach to ourselves, since many in Christian leadership have either caved to culture or embraced the silent mode on certain topics.

Clearly, many have succumbed if not surrendered to the temptation of minimizing the importance of doctrines that are critical to the faith but offensive to the world.

Today, the intolerance of anyone challenging the practice of homosexuality, in any form and to any degree, continues by attempts to revise historic Christian teaching. When anyone claims that homosexuality is God’s gift to the Church and to society, then true faithful followers of Christ Jesus must speak up and defend the clarity of the Holy Scriptures.

Those that have fully embraced the Bible in its entirety, are a people bound by the Word of God; our conscience is constrained by it, and from this position, we cannot move. While we are not focusing on the sins of others and thereby ignoring our own, neither are we willing to sit silently when our culture calls a behavior, any behavior that contradicts Scripture, acceptable to God and has the blessings of Christianity.

Ultimately, the issue with regard to homosexuality is a Gospel issue. Those who attempt to support homosexual practice from the Bible use approaches to the Bible that do not support the understandings historically held by the Christian church.

Nowhere in the Bible will you find one positive statement about the practice of homosexuality. Every time it is mentioned, it is mentioned as a behavior (not unlike many others) in which no man or woman is to practice.

Therefore, as revisionist attacks will undoubtedly continue, true faithful followers of the teachings of Christ must continue to counter attempts to make homosexuality morally acceptable and on par with heterosexuality. Not to do so undermines the historic Christian teachings regarding Biblical sexual morality.

There is no doubt the battles will continue, as those who favor homosexuality appear unwilling to concede any ground, at times even defying sound, crystal clear Biblical and theological standards and truths.

Clearly, today, the Bible is being pushed aside as just another book on the shelf by many. However, the Bible continues to give us the way to eternal life with God and the true answers to victorious living here on earth.

The Bible as God’s Book is and shall forever remain the textbook for life where one finds the truths, the ideals, and the inspirations to guide us safely through life.

More and more I am convinced that the Word of God is still the answer, and that it remains exactly what it’s always claimed to be.

Pastor Phillip Lee
Executive Director
His Way Out Ministries

Please consider making a donation at www.hiswayout.com/donate. Thank you, Pastor Phillip Lee

Peter and John answered and said to them, “Whether it is right in the sight of God to listen to you more than to God, you judge. For we cannot but speak the things which we have seen and heard.” (Acts 4:19-20)

There is no doubt, no question choosing to avoid, minimize, disregard, withhold or revise truth, God’s absolute truth in our churches, planted the seeds for truth to be challenged, if not prohibited, in our society and culture.

Admittedly, I offer the following at the risk of being accused of “church bashing.” Therefore, let me state at the beginning, church bashing is never appropriate at any time or on any level. That said, there are some things that need to be voiced given the on-going crisis the Church faces today with regard to the LGBT community and related issues.

To date, the pro-gay agenda has more than accomplished everything they have set out to accomplish. In many respects, it is as though the gay community has come fully and completely out of the closet with the Church running into the closet and taking up comfortable residency.

The spiritual apathy within the Church regarding homosexuality and gay rights has all but taken on the appearance and posture of attempting to please everyone by traveling down the “middle of the road.” Today, many Christians have labeled themselves moderates and are unwilling to take a stand on much of anything.

We must examine our hearts with regard to the crisis of homosexuality in the Church. If we truly pride ourselves on not being fearful, not being antigay, and not being gay rights promoters, but rather middle-of-the-roaders, then I submit we must ask ourselves whether or not we have a passion for ministry based on a burning love for Jesus.

I remain convinced if the Church remains all but apathetic and complacent regarding what seems to be a growing acceptance of homosexuality in the Church, we need to ask for a considerable fresh dose of God’s Spirit of conviction until our passion is reignited.

The Church is in great peril largely due to far too much of God’s wisdom has been pushed out and now man’s wisdom is doing its utmost to prevail. How is it the Church is no longer setting societal standards but is conforming more and more to the standards of popular culture?

As representatives, Ambassadors for Christ, do we not have a responsibility to preserve our freedoms and stand for Christ, witnessing to His grace and power?

Those of us who have experienced Christ’s healing and transformation power in our lives have a responsibility to bring His power to a society, a world, a Church that has too often jumped to a conclusion that there is no cure for the ills that exist regarding same-gender attraction.

The churches to which Peter wrote were all but monuments of dedication to righteousness in a sea of paganism. Peter encouraged the churches with these words…

“Dear friends, do not be surprised at the painful trial you are suffering, as though something strange were happening to you. But rejoice that you participate in the sufferings of Christ, so that you may be overjoyed when His glory is revealed. If you are insulted because of the Name of Christ, you are blessed, for the Spirit of glory and of God rests on you.” (1 Peter 4:12-14)

I admit that combating what seems to be a growing acceptance of homosexuality is a considerable challenge. However, I remain unwavering in my belief the reason God birthed His Church, the reason God has anointed His Church, and the reason God continues to build His Church, is that He intended His Church from the beginning to be the answer to life’s challenges which includes the issue of same-gender attraction.

Do we, the Church, still believe that God can do the impossible?

The Church has become far too fractured regarding homosexuality with viewpoints differing widely. Far too often the person struggling with homosexuality is often completely confused about the Christian viewpoint on homosexuality. Those who struggle with homosexuality need to be loved, to be embraced in fellowship, to become known for who they really are, not based on sexuality as much as on interests and personality.

What about the unreached homosexual population? I am confident the Church realizes the need to bring the Gospel to every tribe, tongue, language, and nation – to touch and reach every culture. What about gay culture?

There is no doubt we, the Church, have a lot to learn about bringing Jesus to the gays and lesbians who knock at the doors of our churches. We, the Church, must not underestimate ourselves. We, the Church, hold the only answer there is to the present and on-going crisis of homosexuality.

God Himself desires to reach homosexual people. Church is where healing and wholeness occurs. When we, the Church, embrace the truth and totality of Scripture as it relates to homosexuality without compromise and show unconditional love without fail, Jesus Christ becomes apparent in our midst, and He empowers us to walk in His purposes.

We, the Church, must call fear, complacency and neglect exactly what it is – a barrier to accomplishing God’s will for our lives and for His Church. Paul reminded Timothy that he was not given a spirit of fear- neither are we (2 Timothy 1:7).

Is it possible if we, The Church, humble ourselves, weep and lament for our nation, the world regarding homosexuality, God may just yet intervene and restore decency to this crazy world? If we are unwilling to weep before God with regard to the many that have been ensnared by homosexuality, are we then truly fit to fight before men?

Maybe before God changes the minds of those embracing the “gay is good” notion, He will begin by changing our hearts.

Church, in Jesus’ Name, do not minimize the importance and need of His truth that is critical to the faith but offensive to the world.

Pastor Phillip Lee
Executive Director
His Way Out Ministries

Please consider making a donation at www.hiswayout.com/donate. Thank you, Pastor Phillip Lee

One of my absolute all-time favorite movies, directed by Robert Redford, is “A River Runs Through It”.

It is a story about a Presbyterian minister in Montana with two sons. One son most definitely takes a more conventional approach to life while the other is a bit of a rascal. The two men take undeniably different paths in life but remain held together by the bond of family unity and respect.

Sadly, at the end of the story, the renegade son is shot in a gambling dispute and dies. At the end of the film, the father is preaching. His sermon comes from Scripture and focuses on the often limitations of love. He says, “Often times those we love are the most unwilling or unable to accept our love. We reach out, but what we offer is not accepted. And so we find that the help we offer is unwanted – but we can love them all the same. We can love completely, even without complete understanding.”

Caught in the middle of the spiritual vacuum of “say nothing, do nothing” with regard to homosexuality and related issues, is the repentant homosexual that has not only abandoned the sexual sin of homosexual practice but a whole network of support and an identity as well. Surrendering unconditionally to the Lordship of Christ, they enter Church (many for the first time in their lives) with nothing. God, having brought them to a place of repentance, feel very frightened, vulnerable, and very, very alone.

I freely admit that I remain perplexed and deeply troubled by those in the Church that are terrified, if not paralyzed by the gay rights movement, and want to see any further legitimization of homosexuality stopped dead in its tracks but remain hesitant and unwilling to offer ministry to those who desire to come out of the behavior. This makes absolutely no sense.

Today, more than ever, we are in need of churches that will not sidestep truth or grace but offer crystal clear truth on a host of issues, including homosexuality, toward every person. Frankly, this is exactly what the Church was called to be from the beginning, and it is exactly what people are looking for today. It is a Church just like this that saved my life.

Over these past 38 years of my new life in Christ, I have shared numerous times the heart-wrenching fact that all those I once ran with are now gone. To this day, their names, faces, their laughs, haunt me. I clearly and vividly remember a phone call with my closest and dearest friend just before he passed away with AIDS. He remained in San Francisco long after God had transported me back to Bakersfield in 1985 when and where everything in my life changed.

The last thing he said to me over a phone conversation was, “Phillip, we don’t understand what has happened to you, but whatever it is, keep it up. You have found something.”

Indeed, I continue to be haunted by waters.

Many know and understand the importance and significance of reaching the unreached peoples of the world for Christ Jesus. What about the unreached homosexual population?

We, the Christian community, have a lot to learn about bringing Jesus to the gays and lesbians who hopefully will one day knock at the doors of our churches. How about, “If you struggle with homosexuality and feel trapped – there is hope! Come on into Church and investigate the roots and causes of your struggle with homosexuality. We will walk with you as you look past the surface, deep into your heart, and consider God’s will for your life.”

It is the clarity of the Holy Scriptures that should compel each and every faithful follower of Christ Jesus to be a light where there is darkness, rather than hiding our witness from those who need it.

Today, no one, with integrity, can continue to condemn a behavior or a group of people while doing so very, very little to see things improve.

Once again, I find myself wondering…”Do you hear the waters?”

Pastor Phillip Lee
Executive Director
His Way Out Ministries

Please consider making a donation at www.hiswayout.com/donate. Thank you, Pastor Phillip Lee

If you’re a believer who’s been touched by this issue – and these days, who isn’t? I hope you find the content of this article(s) helpful to understand the heart of God to the same-sex attracted and how to share that love.

First and foremost, let’s put even this crisis in its proper context. Embrace the promise of Romans 8:28 that God makes everything – even calamities – work for our good. Admittedly, it is often very excruciating to wait for the ‘good’ to work. I mean, when it seems that everything is literally coming apart at the seams, it’s hard to consider if anything good will really come out of misery.

• My first encouragement is to learn as much as you can about the causes of homosexuality. Simply knowing it is wrong is not even close to being enough.

• Don’t run the matter into the ground every time you see your son or daughter. Often, there can be a good reason(s) for not dealing with a problem right now.

• Do everything you can to keep the lines of communication open and maintain your relationship. If you feel you have been batting your head against the wall seeking resolution of ‘the problem,’ take a rest. It may not be God’s time to deal with the issue.

• Make sure your son or daughter is aware of your belief and position regarding homosexual practice. Heaven knows, God can deal with and use our mistakes but He cannot deal with our inaction. Be clear and precise.

• Do not argue about homosexuality. The very moment the conversation erupts into anger – drop it! Badgering will only produce pushing the individual in the wrong direction. Many problems and issues in life are often solved very indirectly; not when we are consciously dealing with them, but when we are going about our normal lives.

• It is imperative to distinguish between “acceptance and approval.” It is important to separate, both in our own minds and to our loved ones, their individual worth from the acts of homosexuality they may be committing.

• Stay completely away from Christian cliches such as: “God created Adam and Eve, not Adam and Steve,” and “Love the sinner but hate the sin.” Christian cliches only reinforce the belief of many with same-sex attraction that the Christian community is unwilling to truly educate themselves on the complexities of same-sex attraction.

• Do not hesitate to admit when and where the Church has been wrong with regard to men and women with same-sex attraction. We, the Church, have made mistakes and in some cases owe the gay community an apology.

• Refrain from attacking the character of homosexuals when discussing homosexuality. Keep to the real issue: “The real issue is whether or not homosexual practice is, in and of itself, moral.”

• Do not be discouraged if your conversations do not produce instant fruit. What we will answer to God for is speaking truth lovingly and plainly – not for how our loved one responds.

• Be relentless in looking for every opportunity to share it is a personal relationship with Jesus Christ and the indwelling presence of His Spirit which is the foundation needed to overcome same-sex attraction.

• Release control. Let God decide how to bring freedom. God is the only One who can bring about change in the homosexual.

• Let the son, daughter, and everyone know that God has a reputation for transforming trapped people with damaged sexualities. “And such were some of you” applies to all Christians who had formerly participated in homosexuality. (1 Corinthians 6:9-11)

• And, remember, those entangled in sin, of course, will have weak faith, so be merciful to those who doubt. (Jude 22)

Somewhere I read, “Hope is not the conviction that something will turn out well, but the certainty that something makes sense, regardless of how it turns out.” When Jesus Christ is “there,” life has infinite possibilities.

Check out “Home For The Holidays” for a few Do’s and Don’ts.

Pastor Phillip Lee
Executive Director
His Way Out Ministries

Please consider making a donation at www.hiswayout.com/donate. Thank you, Pastor Phillip Lee

In 1983, while living in San Francisco, and very much at the time a member of the gay community, I walked out of my Powell Street apartment on a Sunday afternoon, eventually made my way down to Market Street, which is the main boulevard in downtown San Francisco, and happened upon my first gay pride parade.

I say happened upon the parade because I had no idea the event was taking place and having never viewed a gay pride parade before, I was immediately stunned at what I was seeing and seeing in broad daylight on the main drag of San Francisco with thousands of people in robust celebration.

To be perfectly frank, I was thoroughly and completely appalled and disgusted at what I was viewing and what was being celebrated; again, a gay-identified man and member of the gay community at the time.

To this day, when I recall much of what I viewed, I remain astounded as to why many were thrilled and ecstatic in terms of what was being unashamedly paraded before them. That was 1983 and today, little to nothing has changed.

God’s Word is not silent about such festivities or gatherings with Scripture being first and foremost abundantly clear in its clearest explanation of the sin of homosexual practice (Romans 1:24-27) as well as a very definitive warning to people who know intuitively that homosexual acts (along with gossip, boasting, haughtiness, etc.) are sin, “they not only do them but give approval to those who practice them” (Romans 1:29-32).

Clearly, far too many people simply are not aware, they do not know or understand the growing calamity surrounding us and doing its utmost to consume. Certainly, homosexual practice is not a new thing on the scene. The brokenness of same-sex attraction has been around since the fall of man. Not even the celebration of homosexuality is new.

What is new is the normalization of homosexual practice. This is the new calamity because it is a blatant and direct assault on God and His image in man.

No one, no one, escapes the truth that “we reap what we sow” (Galatians 6:7). Sin always brings and carries in it its own misery accompanied by payment due. At some point, payday always arrives. Indeed, sin is fun only for a season (Hebrews 1:25).

Every Christian knows this to be true because we have each come face-to-face with our own sin. Personally-speaking, the most I can say about homosexuality is that it made me feel good, at least for a while.

What I continue to find remarkable regarding the gay community is the great diversity and often disagreement in even what it means to be gay or lesbian.

The gay and lesbian community is by no means a unified front, with all members in complete accord on every topic and issue. Today, fierce opposition easily arises when anyone dares to criticize the various aspects of either the gay or lesbian lifestyle especially with regard to social and political endeavors.

I am confident I do not need to detail that any public expression, especially from the Christian community, that expresses disagreement with any aspect of the homosexual movement, or with homosexual practice itself, is immediately met with accusations of verbal gay-bashing. Such is the reality and influence gay and lesbian activists relish-in and they are still purposed for more.

What many people forget, often conveniently, is that it is more than possible (from a Christian perspective) to question or challenge a behavior, a lifestyle or an identity, and still treat individuals with dignity and respect. Neither truth nor love is homophobic.

I hope, I pray, you will take to heart, mind and spirit what I am about to share.

Faithful followers of Christ Jesus are bound by Agape-love to speak truth about homosexuality; this alone, by itself extends and holds out hope, true hope, for true personal wholeness. Tragically, many have succumbed, with others now allowing desire to determine the “right course” in life.

There is no question homosexual practice is, clearly, only one of the myriad types of behaviors that are condemned in God’s Word, and it is condemned for the exact same reason as the rest – it is counterproductive to human well-being, and an affront to the character of God.

You and I, we are living in an age of reckless sexuality. I believe this to be true, so, and enabled largely because many, including members of the Christian community, have and are stripping the truth away from grace which has created a perversion of God’s person and His plan for humanity.

I have no idea as to exactly when, but at some point, due to “sexual immorality, impurity, passion, evil desire, and covetousness, which is idolatry. On account of these the wrath of God is coming”(Colossians 3:5-6).

Psalm 119:136 says, “My eyes shed streams of tears, because people do not keep your law.”

Herein, I believe, lies the question every man and every woman must consider because it defines the difference.

“Do I grieve and weep over sin or do I celebrate it?”

I am recalling 39 years ago, surrendering my life to Christ Jesus and entering Church for the first time in my life, then, at that time, no one was wishy-washy about sin. Sin was called sin, and no one pretended they didn’t struggle with it. It was at that time and for the first time in my life, I began to be who God created me to be.

Thankfully, God’s truth and His redemptive power continues to genuinely separate the sinner from the sin. Gratefully, because until that occurs in life, true joy and freedom can never be truly known.

In the end, it will not matter why God has spoken in the way He has; the essential is what He has spoken.

Pastor Phillip Lee
Executive Director
His Way Out Ministries

His Way Out has been faithfully ministering to men and women seeking a way out of sexually broken lifestyles since 1994. We could not do it without the support of Christians like you. Every dollar that you give to His Way Out Ministries helps to further this vital ministry. Won’t you take a minute to prayerfully consider a monthly donation to His Way Out? Please consider making a one-time donation or set up a secure monthly PayPal contribution on our donation page at https://www.hiswayout.com/donate/. Thank you, Pastor Phillip Lee