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When God is alleged to sanction that which is a direct contradiction of Scripture, a religious travesty is being played out, and boldly. The growing and true dividing line for many today seems to be whether the Bible is inspired and without error in its original delivery to the prophet’s from God, or whether it is just a collection of man-made opinions and myths.

2 Peter 1:21 tells us clearly, “…men spoke from God as they were carried along by the Holy Spirit.”

It is imperative to remember, when you and I call ourselves a “Christian,” we are, or we should be qualifying and clearly stating that, “we are faithful followers of Christ Jesus and all of His teachings.” Meaning, you and I, as a Christian, embrace the totality of Scripture, or not at all. We do not have the luxury of randomly selecting portions of Scripture and possibly rejecting or discarding the rest.

We can and we must be accepting of the wounded, broken, and hurting, but we should never accept a theology, a behavior, or a way of life that flies in the face of God’s Word. When the denigration of Biblical authority and a coherent definition of family is under attack, The Church has no choice but to challenge and confront. Ultimately, to not do so translates to the Church of Jesus Christ, called and ordained to be the light of the world, as being void and without clear guidance.

When anyone claims homosexual practice (in any form and to any degree) is God’s gift to the Church and to society, then challenge is appropriate. And, yes, there is a right way and a wrong way for that to be accomplished.

The notion that all gay activists want is equal protection under the law is false. The gay agenda has long since won that battle. Ultimately, it is full, total, and complete silencing of any opposing voice, which includes God’s Word. The relentless assault and well-strategized attacks upon conservative biblical teachings on homosexual practice are ongoing. There is no doubt the ultimate goal for some gay activists will continue until Christians or anyone opposing homosexual practice are discredited and silenced, with some gay activists having already concluded, “Christian, you have neither the faith nor the strength to fight, so you might as well just give up.”

There is no doubt the Apostle Paul understood and lived his life as a debtor to everyone on the face of the earth because of the Gospel of Jesus. Do we, as Ambassadors for Christ, realize that same indebtedness to every unsaved soul which includes the vast, enormous, and virtually untouched mission field called “the gay community”?

The Oxford American Dictionary defines “silence” as, “absence of sound; avoidance or absence of speaking or of making a sound; the fact of not mentioning something.”

Today, there is a segment of the Church choosing to consciously and deliberately avoid the subject of homosexuality. God’s Word is not a thing that a person can push around at their convenience. The Bible is a Voice, a Word, the very Word of the living God. The Church must call homosexual practice sin, and that will remain offensive to many.

I would submit that the calamity and dilemma many professing Christians face today with regard to homosexuality is not unlike a time when Elijah spoke and said: “How long will you waver between two opinions? If the Lord is God, follow Him; but if Baal is God, follow him. But the people said nothing.” (Kings 18:21)

Therefore, how should the Church be responding to homosexuality?



For some churches, the homophobic attitudes of the past have led many to directly or indirectly reject the homosexual for the sake of maintaining God’s righteous stand. However, some churches now claim an “awakened or enlightened” understanding of homosexual practice and, discarding traditional Biblical teachings and dismissing Christian ethics with regard to God’s divine intent for human sexuality, have opened the Church to unrepentant homosexual behavior. Being led and misguided by the false notion and theory – “born that way” – they reach out with compassion but are sacrificing righteousness in the process. There is another response. One that takes courage and unwavering allegiance to the Authority of Scripture and The Lordship of Jesus Christ.

Through the atonement of Jesus Christ and the sanctifying work of the Holy Spirit, God has, is, and will be setting men and women free from the brokenness of same-sex attraction. Why?

“Because Jesus is the same yesterday, today and forever!” (Hebrews 13:8)

I hope, I pray, there will be those that will not surrender to the sign of the times and continue to stand for righteousness. Ultimately, the issue for the homosexual is the same as it is for every individual. Where do they stand? Are they dead in sin or alive in Christ? Therefore, we must not withdraw, we must not be silent.

May God grant us courage. It is the clarity of the Holy Scriptures that should compel each and every faithful follower of Christ Jesus to be a light where there is darkness, rather than hiding our witness from those who need it.

Only the Bible gives us the way to eternal life with God, and the true answer to victorious living here on earth. Since God created us, He knows us far better than we can ever know ourselves. He has all power in heaven and earth, and most of all, He loves man.

The Great Light came to extinguish the darkness of hopeless man. Please, do not withhold The Light.

Pastor Phillip Lee
Executive Director
His Way Out Ministries

His Way Out has been faithfully ministering to men and women seeking a way out of sexually broken lifestyles since 1994. We could not do it without the support of Christians like you. Every dollar that you give to His Way Out Ministries helps to further this vital ministry. Won’t you take a minute to prayerfully consider a monthly donation to His Way Out? Please consider making a one-time donation or set up a secure monthly PayPal contribution on our donation page at https://www.hiswayout.com/donate/. Thank you, Pastor Phillip Lee

Today, attempts by pro-gay theologians and pro-gay apologists to revise the historic teachings of the Church with regard to homosexual practice are relentless. Admittedly, their effort to persuade the clergy and theologians of the moral legitimacy of homosexual conduct has not been carried out in a vacuum. Battles continue, as those who favor homosexual practice promote the notion that there is no clear answer to the issue. There are even those that attempt to persuade under the banners of ‘love’ and ‘commitment’ that homosexual relationships be justified.

There are powerful forces at work with the enemy having accomplished much by utilizing his divide and conquer tactics. Clearly, many are now worshipping another Jesus. A Jesus which has been created by man that requires absolutely no sacrifice, makes no demands of obedience, and is completely and totally silent when it comes to sexual sin.

Scripturally speaking, what do we know about homosexuality?

  • We are created beings and created with a specific intent. (Genesis 1:26-2:23) God’s blueprint for human sexuality as found in Genesis 1 and 2, clearly establishes that from the beginning God had a divine intent for human sexuality with well-defined holy boundary lines to live within regarding sexual expression.
  • God’s divine intent for human sexuality is fulfilled within the covenant of a monogamous and heterosexual union. (Matthew 19:4-6)
  • We are a fallen race, and the Fall has marred every part of our experience, including our sexual experience. (Romans 5:12-19)
  • Homosexuality is a manifestation of fallen nature and it violates created intent. (1 Corinthians 6:9-10)
  • Homosexuals are redeemable and change is possible. (1 Corinthians 6:11)

Nowhere within the totality of Scripture will you find even one positive statement about homosexual practice. Every time homosexuality is mentioned it is always mentioned as a behavior in which no man or woman is to practice. Difficult as this standard is to obey, it is the calling of Christ for all His followers, including those with same-sex attractions and desires.

The problem with pro-gay theologians and pro-gay apologists is their theorizing and speculating on what Scripture does not say about homosexuality while a true faithful follower of Christ Jesus stands upon the clarity and authority of Scripture regarding homosexual practice. Revisionists can justify virtually any type of sexual relationship, including those traditionally and historically considered immoral.

Revisionists have been quite successful in confusing compassion with acceptance of homosexual practice. Those promoting ‘the liberating power of love,’ continue to blur the lines by citing ‘some of God’s Word’ as too repressive. However, Jesus Himself repeatedly affirmed the relevance and importance of moral law:

Do not think that I have come to abolish the law or the prophets, I have come not to abolish but to fulfill. For truly I tell you, until heaven and earth pass away, not one letter, not one stroke of a letter, will pass from the law until all is accomplished. (Matthew 5:17-18)

Ultimately, any effort to redefine homosexual practice (in any form and to any degree) as acceptable and consistent with biblical faith constitutes an attack upon the very foundations of the Christian faith and Church.

As revisionist attacks will no doubt continue, faithful followers of the teachings of Christ must continue to counter any and all attempts to make homosexuality morally acceptable. Not doing so would undermine the traditional and historic Christian understanding regarding sexual morality.

The Gospel message that Jesus preached was and is a message of repentance and surrender. Like Jesus, His followers are to suffer the rejection of the world. We are intended to be at odds with the thinking and attitudes of this world. To water down the Gospel to make it acceptable is to lose the truth and life of God’s message.

In a world that is rapidly accepting everything and tolerating anything, faithful followers of Christ Jesus must be extremely careful. Many false teachers exist today with their underlying message being homosexuality is acceptable for anyone who wants to engage in it – a direct contradiction of Scripture.

Today, virtually nothing in society promotes the truth about homosexuality. The lies that homosexuality is a fulfilling, normal and healthy alternative saturate the media. Many are tenacious and relentless in elevating same-sex desire to the level of a moral norm.

The Church is presently faced with a challenge the significance of which is nearly impossible to exaggerate. Is ‘tolerance’ to be extended without limitation to any and all kinds of sexual expression? Is any kind of sexual relationship scripturally permissible as long as it is ‘consensual’? Does it all come down to a matter of personal taste?

I still believe the Church remains God’s vehicle to reach wounded, broken, hurting humanity. Therefore, may we, His Church:

  • Affirm the biblical position that God loves all persons, with homosexuality being one sin among many others, and that the Holy Spirit is available to transform all persons, including the same-sex attracted individual.
  • Minister to persons with unwanted same-sex attraction and their families as partners in Christ’s work of healing and transformation.
  • Call the Church to recognize and confess its need for repentance of its welcoming and affirming of homosexual practice in the Church.

He has shown you, O man, what is good. And what does the Lord require of you? To act justly and to love mercy and to walk humbly with your God. (Micah 6:8)

Pastor Phillip Lee
Executive Director
His Way Out Ministries

Please consider making a donation at www.hiswayout.com/donate. Thank you, Pastor Phillip Lee

“Research has shown that if you are in a community that is getting healthy or overcoming something difficult, your chances go way, way up.” Dr. Henry Cloud

I came across the above quote which caused me to pause and consider just how many Christian families are now coming to His Way Out Ministries from various cities that surround Bakersfield.

Christian families from Pleasanton, Hanford, Visalia, Porterville, Tehachapi, Ventura, Santa Clarita, Lancaster, Ridgecrest, Wasco, Delano, Lake Isabella, Oxnard, and San Luis Obispo, all in crisis but wanting to make godly choices in response to an issue facing their family.

For Christian parents, in particular, wading through the tsunami of emotions that accompany the announcement of, “Mom, Dad, I’m gay!” are all but swallowed up in, “Where do we go from here?”

Mom, Dad, first and foremost remember that you are a child of God, and He has plans to, “prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” He has promised to be with you always, no matter what kind of calamity or mud pit in which you may find yourself.

Give yourself permission to wade through the myriad of real and genuine emotions. Today, with so much of society and the church being dysfunctional, it is often no small task in being comfortable with owning our feelings. Tragically, some Christian parents with gay-identified children have been told, “Don’t cry,” or “You shouldn’t feel that way.”

The challenge? To look through the eyes of faith which enables the acceptance of the present reality and ultimately produces, “What now, Lord?” rather than, “Why?” In other words, hold on to God’s promises.

Indeed, loving a wayward child the way God loves them means loving them unconditionally. It also means accepting the truth and reality that only God can bring about the change in them you hope and pray to witness. It wasn’t until many years down the road of a new life in Christ Jesus that my mother shared with me…”You don’t know how many times in prayer I got in the enemy’s face and said ‘I don’t care what he has done or even how many times he has done it, in Jesus’ Name, devil, you can’t have him any more!'”

Choose today to “act” rather than “react” to the unwanted circumstance(s) that have come into your life. Seek a support group, a care group, a community in which you can be real by sharing your legitimate concerns. Those in the group need not be experts on the subject of homosexuality and they may not have ever experienced this kind of crisis themselves, but if they are compassionate people, they can give you a great deal of emotional support and nurturing.

Personally, I have the utmost respect and admiration for each and every Christian family that blends uncompromised grace and truth with regard to homosexuality. In doing so, they enable and provide God the opportunity to remind just how big He is and shall forever remain. Refuse to sidestep either truth or grace by speaking clear truth about every and any issue.

Even in the crisis, because Jesus is there with you, life has any and all infinite possibilities.

The storms of life will undoubtedly do everything they possibly can to rip apart the hope we have in Christ Jesus. However, as we each seek Him with all our hearts, often within the fellowship and community of believers, behind each circumstance, each question and each answer stands the only One who can really help any of us. Truly, God knows.

Scripture clearly defines the Church as family. (1 Timothy 5:1-2; 2 Timothy 1:2-5; Hebrews 12:7-10) Having a safe environment and the opportunity to be transparent with one another enables the opportunity to unlock the excessive pressures of this journey called life and relieves pent-up emotions.

Keep Romans 8:28 forever in your heart. God’s promise that “all things work together for good” even when things seem to be shattered should take a high position on the priority list of verses on suffering. And consider “In love’s service, only the wounded can serve, for they alone understand the cry of the bleeding heart.”

At His Way Out Ministries, we have found and continue to see and understand the wisdom of Ecclesiastes 4:9-10: “two can accomplish more than twice as much as one, for the results can be much better. If one falls, the other pulls him up; but if a man falls when he is alone, he is in trouble.”

There is much to be said for gathering together. At His Way Out Ministries, while we do not presume to have all the answers, but we do understand the human struggle related to the brokenness of same-sex attraction.

You are welcome here with people on the same-like journey. We are here to listen, support, encourage, and walk with you beyond, “Why?” to, “What now, Lord?”

Pastor Phillip Lee
Executive Director
His Way Out Ministries

His Way Out has been faithfully ministering to men and women seeking a way out of sexually broken lifestyles since 1994. We could not do it without the support of Christians like you. Every dollar that you give to His Way Out Ministries helps to further this vital ministry. Won’t you take a minute to prayerfully consider a monthly donation to His Way Out? Please consider making a one-time donation or set up a secure monthly PayPal contribution on our donation page at https://www.hiswayout.com/donate/. Thank you, Pastor Phillip Lee

His Way Out Ministries Podcasts are dedicated to equipping, educating, and encouraging the Body of Christ to reach out and minister to individuals, families, and churches impacted by the brokenness of same-sex attraction.

Season 1, Episode 12
Our twelfth broadcast is titled “Letting Go”. As Christians, a huge challenge is giving our loved one over to the Lord. If our prayers go something like, “God, do this,” or “God, don’t allow this,” our prayers need to become, “Lord, I ask you to bring my loved one to You in any way You choose.” Letting go goes against our very nature. However, if we want God to work in the situation, we must let Him do it His way.

Listen online or download the podcast.

Letting Go with Pastor Phillip Lee – Download MP3 –

All past episodes of His Way Out Ministries Radio Broadcast are available by following THIS LINK or selecting the “Audio Podcast” category to the right.

Learning about homosexuality and understanding God’s perspective on same-gender attraction will go a long way in increasing our effectiveness in sharing the Good News of Jesus Christ. So, let’s test your knowledge. How confident are you in offering a response to the following to your gay neighbor, a close relative, a member in your church, or the one you’ve yet to meet?

  1. True or False? The person struggling with same-gender attraction is often confused about the Christian viewpoint?
  2. True or False? Science has proven that homosexuals are “born that way”?
  3. The statement “Homosexuality is the worst of all sins” is…a) Scripturally correct, b) shows a lack of understanding the Bible, c) may be true in a practical sense, d) stating it is harder to overcome than many other sins.
  4. A child raised in church and a Christian family…a) has no chance of becoming homosexual, b) must reject the church in order to practice homosexuality, c) can develop homosexually, d) becomes gay when they reject God.
  5. After becoming a Christian, the individual will…a) become heterosexual at some point, b) become heterosexual, c) still never be free or same-gender attraction, d) still experience temptation from time to time.

Answers to the CSE Quiz Questions are below. If you struggled in coming to a decision about any of the offered questions, please consider hosting a His Way Out Ministries Educational Workshop at your church. For a detailed list of various workshops, please visit our Educational Workshops page.

CSE Quiz Answers
1. True, 2. False, 3. b) Shows a lack of understanding the Bible, 4. c) Can develop homosexually, 5. d) Still experience temptation from time to time.

His Way Out Ministries Podcasts are dedicated to equipping, educating, and encouraging the Body of Christ to reach out and minister to individuals, families, and churches impacted by the brokenness of same-sex attraction.

Season 1, Episode 14
Our fourteenth broadcast is titled “Questions and Answers”. For many, homosexuality isn’t just a social issue, it’s very personal. Our “Questions and Answers” broadcast offers straightforward, godly, and compassionate insights into the subject of homosexuality by providing a series of questions that many want to ask but are often reluctant to voice.

Listen online or download the podcast.

Questions and Answers with Pastor Phillip Lee – Download MP3 –

All past episodes of His Way Out Ministries Radio Broadcast are available by following THIS LINK or selecting the “Audio Podcast” category to the right.

There are those that would argue that to be “totally set free” is an impossibility since we will always sin as long as we are in the flesh. While I certainly agree we will always sin as long as we are in the flesh, “it” does not have to be idolatrous, addictive, or enable unreal levels of evil desires that war against God’s truth.

Today, some would say that offering a message of freedom from homosexuality is to hold out a message of false hope to people caught in this particular sin. However, I would present the biblical fact that people were being set free in the Apostle Paul’s day (1 Corinthians 6:11) and those whom the Son sets free are free indeed (John 8:36).

It is abundantly clear that Jesus counted ungodly lust with any participation or activity as sin when He said, “Everyone who looks on a woman to lust after her has committed adultery with her in his heart.” (Matthew 5:28)

It is time that we all purify ourselves by uprooting ungodly reactions and lies that hold us captive and remember that God Himself has called each of His followers to holiness and not just those who struggle with homosexuality.

Today, far too many individuals, ministries, and churches are stating and teaching that the very best a man or woman struggling with same-sex attraction can hope for is celibacy. In other words, each man and each woman can successfully stop activity but they will just have to live with the desires. I believe Jesus spoke clearly regarding all sexual sin.

A believer in Christ Jesus must see lust as a sin, confess it as such and then work to uproot “fueling agents” that often accompany attempts at justifying our sin just because we have been hurt. God knows every detail of our pain, abuse, and neglect and He desires to set us free but we must purify ourselves and that always involves the “process” of holiness. Admittedly, holiness is progressive and it does not occur in anyone’s life overnight.

Clearly, every born-again believer must obey the truth in order to be purified and walk in holiness.

“Now that you have purified yourselves by obeying the truth so that you have sincere love for your brothers: love one another deeply from your heart. For you have been born again, not of perishable seed, but of imperishable, through the living and enduring Word of God.” (1 Peter 1:22-23)

It seems to me if we (Christians) are to purify ourselves, obedience to God’s Word is imperative. Practically speaking, reading one’s Bible, spending time in prayer, journaling our thoughts and feelings, spiritual work such as addressing ungodly vows, bitterness, envy, and renouncing justification of sin because of hurt, are just a few of the areas that must be potentially addressed.

Also, we must confess our sins and believe that in doing so…”God is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness.” (1 John 1:9)

Clearly, if we claim to be without sin, we are deceiving ourselves and the truth is not in us.

I like what Oswald Chambers states in My Utmost for His Highest, “The one marvelous secret of a holy life lies not in imitating Jesus, but in letting the perfections of Jesus manifest themselves in my mortal flesh.”

When any man or woman thoroughly and completely gives up the entire context of homosexuality, there is no more keeping of records of how long it has been since a fall occurred or how long it has been since looking on someone to lust after them. Frankly, I believe that is pretty much useless because God does not want us to keep records of falls or victories, but rather a complete change of heart so we will love what He loves and hate what He hates.

Indeed, it takes time to cleanse and purify our hearts. However, the process and journey are well worth the effort if for no other reason than God will be glorified.

When we embrace the totality and truth of Scripture without compromise, God empowers us to walk in His purposes.

Those who choose to live by God’s unchanging truth engage in the ongoing challenge of applying God’s unchanging standards to our ever-changing society, world, and this journey, with its many twists and turns called…life.

Pastor Phillip Lee
Executive Director
His Way Out Ministries

His Way Out has been faithfully ministering to men and women seeking a way out of sexually broken lifestyles since 1994. We could not do it without the support of Christians like you. Every dollar that you give to His Way Out Ministries helps to further this vital ministry. Won’t you take a minute to prayerfully consider a monthly donation to His Way Out? Please consider making a one-time donation or set up a secure monthly PayPal contribution on our donation page at https://www.hiswayout.com/donate/. Thank you, Pastor Phillip Lee

His Way Out Ministries Podcasts are dedicated to equipping, educating, and encouraging the Body of Christ to reach out and minister to individuals, families, and churches impacted by the brokenness of same-sex attraction.

Season 1, Episode 13
Our thirteenth broadcast is titled “How Do We Love Them Like Jesus?” The Gospel of John is clear in its description of Jesus. Jesus was 100% grace and 100% truth. He never erred on one side or the other. If we are truly to represent Christ’s heart and mind to the sexually broken, we must be equally balanced in those two critical areas as well.

Listen online or download the podcast.

How Do We Love Them Like Jesus? with Pastor Phillip Lee – Download MP3 –

All past episodes of His Way Out Ministries Radio Broadcast are available by following THIS LINK or selecting the “Audio Podcast” category to the right.

“And we, who with unveiled faces all reflect the Lord’s glory, are being transformed into His likeness with ever-increasing glory, which comes from the Lord, who is the Spirit.” (2 Corinthians 3:18)

  • You told us we needed to surrender our lives to Christ Jesus and be born-again. We surrendered.
  • You told us we needed to forsake and repent of homosexual practice. We repented. We turned away.
  • You told us our mind needed renewing and we needed a life transformation. We willing died to self.
  • You told us we needed to forsake the gay community and embrace the Church as our new family. We did so by faith.
  • You regularly encouraged us to share our testimony. We gladly did so to honor Christ Jesus.
  • You continue to remind us the Church is God’s vehicle to reach the wounded, broken, and hurting. We agree.
  • You told us the Bible is the textbook for life in all matters of faith and practice. We embraced this truth.
  • You reminded us over and over again “Jesus remains the same yesterday, today and forever.” (Hebrews 13:8) Indeed and Amen.

But now, many of you are saying, “Well, maybe homosexuality isn’t so bad after all.”
Many Sunday morning church pulpits have lapsed fully into the silent mode with regard to homosexuality.
The gay community is extremely vocal and highly visible demanding their right to be who they want to be, but we are now being told daily we cannot have and we must now have the same right.

We are your fellow brothers and sisters in Christ. We are trying very, very hard to understand. Would you help us, please?

Much too often, we turn around wondering, “Where did everybody go?”

Having once faced and addressed the impact of rejection and abandonment in our lives, must we face it again?

Should we compare where we stand now regarding homosexuality and related issues to the time when things got very, very tough and Jesus said to His disciples, “Will you also turn away?” (John 6:67)

You told us and reminded us frequently…

“The Church must call homosexual practice sin and while that will be offensive to many,
the Word of God must not and cannot be watered down.”

In many respects, we attribute our new lives in Christ Jesus to Christians sharing and holding us to The Truth.

  • You told us we were not born gay. We embraced this truth.
  • You told us change is possible. We changed.
  • You told us our true identity is in Christ Jesus – not our sexuality. True.
  • You told us not to allow our past to dictate who we are in Christ today. Agreed.
  • You told us homosexuals are redeemable with God’s grace and power more than sufficient to transform a life. Amen.
  • You told us sharing the Gospel is not an option for a Christian but rather obedience to a command. Absolutely.
  • You told us the only way out of homosexuality was through a deep, personal, intimate relationship with Christ Jesus.

Has any of the above-mentioned changed?

If God has changed and is no longer capable of restoring a man or woman from the brokenness of same-sex attraction,
what else can’t God do?

Truth lived out Christs’ way, does not have any gray edges. It is abundantly clear and straightforward.

We, the prodigals, are your fellow brothers and sisters in Christ.

May God help us each and everyone on that day when we are asked to give an account of how we responded to the difficult issue of homosexuality so that we might hear Him say, “Well done, good and faithful servant.”

Pastor Phillip Lee
Executive Director
His Way Out Ministries

His Way Out has been faithfully ministering to men and women seeking a way out of sexually broken lifestyles since 1994. We could not do it without the support of Christians like you. Every dollar that you give to His Way Out Ministries helps to further this vital ministry. Won’t you take a minute to prayerfully consider a monthly donation to His Way Out? Please consider making a one-time donation or set up a secure monthly PayPal contribution on our donation page at https://www.hiswayout.com/donate/. Thank you, Pastor Phillip Lee

“IT’S WRONG!!!” “Nope, sorry. Not good enough.”

The reality and Biblical truth of each and every one of us having been born into a fallen world and inheriting a sinful nature validate we are all broken.

Therefore, in the Kingdom of God, the question of “who needs help and wholeness?” is the same for everyone. We all would do well in remembering no one is superior or inferior at the foot of the Cross.

Whether the confession comes from a son or daughter, spouse or close friend, the admission of homosexuality hits like a bombshell, especially in Christian homes. Instantaneously, life seems completely out of control. You are now headed in a direction you never, ever thought you would be going.

How well I remember having to make my own personal confession to my parents. While my confession occurred many, many years ago, I recall, vividly, having to pick my mother up from the kitchen floor.

The ironic truth is that while I felt an immediate sense of relief that “the problem” was now out, my parents, friends, and family members were instantly projected into a state of fear, bewilderment, and consumed by a myriad of emotions.

Once the initial impact has subsided a bit, while Christian families know God is the answer, it still takes a long time for them to wrap their minds around how to engage God in what they perceive as needing to be done. Make no mistake, when someone we know confesses their same-sex attraction, many Christians struggle with how to maintain a Christ-like manner and position which, more than not, results in “Where do we go from here?”

Speaking from experience, having waded through years of healing, discipleship, study, and surrender (at times, daily), when homosexuality hit my family, as it has a multitude of others, it brought pain, indescribable pain, and misunderstanding along with it. Largely, because (way back then), no one knew much about the behavior.

Frankly, about the only comment anyone offered was, “It’s wrong!” Today, just like then, that’s not good enough and completely unacceptable.

While there are no specific verses in the Bible telling us under what circumstances, if any, we should adopt this or that policy toward a homosexual loved one, let’s consider a few specific communications that need to be offered with the hope and endeavor of keeping the lines of communication open.

What the Bible says and why you disapprove of homosexuality every time you are with your child, friend, co-worker, etc., is not a necessary state. However, do make sure the individual knows the following:

  • You understand that he/she did not ask for these feelings.
  • You appreciate their honesty and transparency in disclosing their issue with same-sex attraction.
  • Your belief regarding homosexual practice as sin is not going to change.
  • You want to protect your relationship through mutual respect and understanding.
  • While you may never agree on the subject of homosexuality, you are committed to not letting that disagreement ruin your relationship.

Put even this crisis in its proper context. Embrace the promise of Romans 8:28 that God makes everything – even calamities – work for our good. Admittedly, it is often very excruciating to wait for the ‘good’ to work. I mean, when it seems that everything is literally coming apart at the seams, it’s hard to consider if anything good will really come out of misery.

  • My first encouragement is to learn as much as you can about the causes of homosexuality. Simply knowing it is wrong is not even close to being enough.
  • Don’t run the matter into the ground every time you see your son or daughter. Often, there can be a good reason(s) for not dealing with a problem right now.
  • Do everything you can to keep the lines of communication open and maintain your relationship. If you feel you have been batting your head against the wall seeking resolution of ‘the problem,’ take a rest. It may not be God’s time to deal with the issue.
  • Make sure your son or daughter is aware of your belief and position regarding homosexual practice. Heaven knows, God can deal with and use our mistakes but He cannot deal with our inaction. Be clear and precise.
  • Do not argue about homosexuality. The very moment the conversation erupts into anger – drop it! Badgering will only produce pushing the individual in the wrong direction. Many problems and issues in life are often solved very indirectly; not when we are consciously dealing with them, but when we are going about our normal lives.
  • It is imperative to distinguish between “acceptance and approval.” It is important to separate, both in our own minds and to our loved ones, their individual worth from the acts of homosexuality they may be committing.
  • Stay completely away from Christian cliches such as, “God created Adam and Eve, not Adam and Steve,” and “Love the sinner but hate the sin.” Christian cliches only reinforce the belief of many with same-sex attraction that the Christian community is unwilling to truly educate themselves on the complexities of same-sex attraction.
  • Do not hesitate to admit when and where the Church has been wrong with regard to men and women with same-sex attraction. We, the Church, have made mistakes and in some cases owe the gay community an apology.
  • Refrain from attacking the character of homosexuals when discussing homosexuality. Keep to the real issue which is whether or not homosexual practice is, in and of itself, moral.
  • Do not be discouraged if your conversations do not produce instant fruit. What we will answer to God for is speaking truth lovingly and plainly – not for how our loved one responds.
  • Be relentless in looking for every opportunity to share it is a personal relationship with Jesus Christ and the indwelling presence of His Spirit which is the foundation needed to overcome same-sex attraction.
  • Release control. Let God decide how to bring freedom. God is the only One who can bring about change in the homosexual.
  • Let the son, daughter and everyone know that God has a reputation of transforming trapped people with damaged sexualities. “And such were some of you” applies to all Christians who had formerly participated in homosexuality. (1 Corinthians 6:9-11)
  • And, remember, those entangled in sin, of course, will have weak faith, so be merciful to those who doubt. (Jude 22)

Somewhere I read, “Hope is not the conviction that something will turn out well, but the certainty that something makes sense, regardless of how it turns out.”

When Jesus Christ is “there” life has infinite possibilities.

Pastor Phillip Lee
Executive Director
His Way Out Ministries

His Way Out has been faithfully ministering to men and women seeking a way out of sexually broken lifestyles since 1994. We could not do it without the support of Christians like you. Every dollar that you give to His Way Out Ministries helps to further this vital ministry. Won’t you take a minute to prayerfully consider a monthly donation to His Way Out? Please consider making a one-time donation or set up a secure monthly PayPal contribution on our donation page at https://www.hiswayout.com/donate/. Thank you, Pastor Phillip Lee

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