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phillip-lee5a-2016-600“Research has shown that if you are in a community that is getting healthy or overcoming something difficult, your chances go way, way up.” Dr. Henry Cloud

Over the weekend, I came across the above quote which caused me to pause and consider just how many Christian families are now coming to His Way Out Ministries from various cities that surround Bakersfield.

Christian families from Pleasanton, Hanford, Visalia, Porterville, Tehachapi, Ventura, Santa Clarita, Lancaster, Ridgecrest, Wasco, Delano, Lake Isabella, Oxnard and San Luis Obispo, all in crisis but wanting to make godly choices in response to an issue facing their family.

For Christian parents, in particular, wading through the tsunami of emotions that accompany the announcement of, “Mom, Dad, I’m gay!” are all but swallowed-up in, “Where do we go from here?”

Mom, Dad, first and foremost remember that you are a child of God, and He has plans to, “prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” He has promised to be with you always, no matter what kind of calamity or mud pit in which you may find yourself.

Give yourself permission to wade through the myriad of real and genuine emotions. Today, with so much of society and the church being dysfunctional, it is often no small task in being comfortable with owning our feelings. Tragically, some Christian parents with gay-identified children have been told, “Don’t cry,” or “You shouldn’t feel that way.”

The challenge? To look through the eyes of faith which enables the acceptance of the present reality and ultimately produces, “What now, Lord?” rather than, “Why?” In other words, hold on to God’s promises.

Indeed, loving a wayward child the way God loves them means loving them unconditionally. It also means accepting the truth and reality that only God can bring about the change in them you hope and pray to witness. It wasn’t until many years down the road of a new life in Christ Jesus that my mother shared with me…”You don’t know how many times in prayer I got in the enemy’s face and said ‘I don’t care what he has done or even how many times he has done it, in Jesus’ Name, devil, you can’t have him any more!'”

Choose today to “act” rather than “react” to the unwanted circumstance(s) that have come into your life. Seek a support group, a care group, a community in which you can be real by sharing your legitimate concerns. Those in the group need not be experts on the subject of homosexuality and they may not have ever experienced this kind of crisis themselves, but if they are compassionate people, they can give you a great deal of emotional support and nurturing.

Personally, I have the utmost respect and admiration for each and every Christian family that blends uncompromised grace and truth with regard to homosexuality. In doing so, they enable and provide God opportunity to remind just how big He is and shall forever remain. Refuse to sidestep either truth or grace by speaking clear truth about every and any issue.

Even in the crisis, because Jesus is there with you, life has any and all infinite possibilities.

The storms of life will undoubtedly do everything they possibly can to rip apart the hope we have in Christ Jesus. However, as we each seek Him with all our hearts, often within the fellowship and community of believers, behind each circumstance, each question and each answer stands the only One who can really help any of us. Truly, God knows.

Scripture clearly defines the Church as family. (1 Timothy 5:1-2; 2 Timothy 1:2-5; Hebrews 12:7-10) Having a safe environment and opportunity to be transparent with one another enables opportunity to unlock the excessive pressures of this journey called life and relieves pent-up emotions.

Keep Romans 8:28 forever in your heart. God’s promise that “all things work together for good” even when things seem to be shattered should take a high position on the priority list of verses on suffering. And consider “In love’s service, only the wounded can serve, for they alone understand the cry of the bleeding heart.”

At His Way Out Ministries, we have found and continue to see and understand the wisdom of Ecclesiastes 4:9-10: “two can accomplish more than twice as much as one, for the results can be much better. If one falls, the other pulls him up; but if a man falls when he is alone, he is in trouble.”

There is much to be said for gathering together. At His Way Out Ministries, while we do not presume to have all the answers, but we do understand the human struggle related to the brokenness of same-sex attraction.

You are welcome here with people on the same-like journey. We are here to listen, support, encourage and walk with you beyond, “Why?” to, “What now, Lord?”

Pastor Phillip Lee
Executive Director
His Way Out Ministries
Member of Restored Hope Network

“If I profess with the loudest voice and clearest exposition every portion of the truth of God except precisely that little point which the world and the devil are at the moment attacking, the I am not confessing Christ, however boldly I may be professing Christ. Where the battle rages, there the loyalty of the soldier is tested.” Martin Luther

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