Ok, it’s Sunday morning and you are driving home from church having just heard a message which clearly shared, “There is no allowance whatsoever in Scripture for the practice of homosexuality in any form or to any degree.” The truth resonates in your mind, heart and spirit because you have not only heard the truth but you have seen with your own eyes in God’s Word that homosexual practice, not unlike numerous and various other behaviors, is not acceptable to God.
But now, YOU have the task if not the monumental challenge of facing the son or daughter that sees nothing wrong with homosexual practice and is involved in a same-sex relationship. YOU are now the one that gets to flesh out the truth you now know. How is that done? What do YOU do? What don’t YOU do? What does representing Christ Jesus in this matter look like?
First and foremost, let’s put even this crisis in it’s proper context. Embrace the promise of Romans 8:28 that God makes everything – even calamities – work for our good. Admittedly, it is often very excruciating to wait for the ‘good’ to work. I mean, when it seems that everything is literally coming apart at the seams, it’s hard to consider if anything good will really come out of misery.
• My first encouragement is learn as much as you can about the causes of homosexuality. Simply knowing it is wrong is not even close to being enough.
• Don’t run the matter into the ground every time you see your son or daughter. Often, there can be a good reason(s) for not dealing with a problem right now.
• Do everything you can to keep the lines of communication open and maintain your relationship. If you feel you have been batting your head against the wall seeking resolution of ‘the problem,’ take a rest. It may not be God’s time to deal with the issue.
• Make sure your son or daughter is aware of your belief and position regarding homosexual practice. Heaven knows, God can deal with and use our mistakes but He cannot deal with our inaction. Be clear and precise.
• Do not argue about homosexuality. The very moment the conversation erupts into anger – drop it! Badgering will only produce pushing the individual the wrong direction. Many problems and issues in life are often solved very indirectly; not when we are consciously dealing with them, but when we are going about our normal lives.
• It is imperative to distinguish between “acceptance and approval.” It is important to separate, both in our own minds and to our loved ones, their individual worth from the acts of homosexuality they may be committing.
• Stay completely away from Christian cliches such as: “God created Adam and Eve not Adam and Steve” and “Love the sinner but hate the sin.” Christian cliches only reinforce the belief of many with same-sex attraction that the Christian community is unwilling to truly educate themselves on the complexities of same-sex attraction.
• Do not hesitate to admit when and where the Church has been wrong with regard to men and women with same-sex attraction. We, the Church, have made mistakes and in some cases owe the gay community an apology.
• Refrain from attacking the character of homosexuals when discussing homosexuality. Keep to the real issue: “The real issue is whether or not homosexual practice is, in and of itself, moral.”
• Do not be discouraged if your conversations do not produce instant fruit. What we will answer to God for is speaking truth lovingly and plainly – not for how our loved one responds.
• Be relentless in looking for every opportunity to share it is a personal relationship with Jesus Christ and the indwelling presence of His Spirit which is the foundation needed to overcome same-sex attraction.
• Release control. Let God decide how to bring freedom. God is the only One who can bring about change in the homosexual.
• Let the son, daughter and everyone know that God has a reputation of transforming trapped people with damaged sexualities. “And such were some of you” applies to all Christians who had formerly participated in homosexuality. (1 Corinthians 6:9-11)
• And, remember, those entangled in sin, of course, will have weak faith, so be merciful to those who doubt. (Jude 22)
Somewhere I read, “Hope is not the conviction that something will turn out well, but the certainty that something makes sense, regardless of how it turns out.” When Jesus Christ is “there,” life has infinite possibilities.
Pastor Phillip Lee
His Way Out Ministries
Member of Restored Hope Network
“If I profess with the loudest voice and clearest exposition every portion of the truth of God except precisely that little point which the world and the devil are at the moment attacking, the I am not confessing Christ, however boldly I may be professing Christ. Where the battle rages, there the loyalty of the soldier is tested.” Martin Luther