For Christian parents, in particular, wading through the tsunami of emotions that accompany the announcement of, “Mom, Dad, I’m gay!” are all but swallowed-up in, “Why has this happened to our family, what do we do now, and Who is to blame?”
Mom, Dad, first and foremost remember that you are a child of God, and He has plans to, “prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” He has promised to be with you always, no matter what kind of calamity or mud pit in which you may find yourself.
Give yourself permission to wade through the myriad of real and genuine emotions. Without a doubt, a considerably strong emotion that will surface at some point is anger.
The Bible tells us, “In your anger do not sin.” (Ephesians 4:26)
It is Ok for a Christian to get angry. Just do not allow your anger to become misdirected. Misdirected anger is useless.
While it is a given most parents experience some measure of guilt regarding the homosexuality of their child, seeking to place blame on friends and other people, circumstances and even God, is often a misdirected attempt to help cope with the situation.
Parents, the brokenness of same-sex attraction is far too complex for you to place all of the blame upon yourselves. If you are hearing the accusation of, “this is all your fault,” I guarantee you that is the voice of the enemy of your soul.
The challenge? To look through the eyes of faith which enables the acceptance of the present reality and ultimately produces, “What now, Lord?” rather than, “Why?” In other words, hold on to God’s promises.
Loving a wayward child the way God loves them means loving them unconditionally. It also means accepting the truth and reality that only God can bring about the change in them you hope and pray to witness.
It wasn’t until many years down the road of a new life in Christ Jesus that my mother shared with me, “You don’t know how many times in prayer I got in the enemy’s face and said ‘I don’t care what he has done or even how many times he has done it, in Jesus’ Name, devil, you can’t have him any more!'”
Choose today to “act” rather than “react” to the unwanted circumstance(s) that have come into your life. Seek a care group, a community in which you can be real by sharing your legitimate concerns. Those in the group need not be experts on the subject of homosexuality and they may not have ever experienced this kind of crisis themselves, but if they are compassionate people, they can give you a great deal of emotional support and nurturing.
Scripture clearly defines the Church as family. (1 Timothy 5:1-2; 2 Timothy 1:2-5; Hebrews 12:7-10). Having a safe environment and opportunity to be transparent with one another enables opportunity to unlock the excessive pressures of this journey called life and relieves pent-up emotions.
Keep Romans 8:28 forever in your heart. God’s promise that, “all things work together for good,” even when things seem to be shattered should take a high position on the priority list of verses on suffering.
At His Way Out Ministries, we have found and continue to see and understand the wisdom of Ecclesiastes 4:9-10, “two can accomplish more than twice as much as one, for the results can be much better. If one falls, the other pulls him up; but if a man falls when he is alone, he is in trouble.”
God loves to walk in and turn things around. He loves to do what looks humanly impossible.
Pastor Phillip Lee