“If the world hates you, keep in mind that it hated me first. If you belonged to the world, it would love you as its own. As it is, you do not belong to the world, but I have chosen you out of the world” (John 15:18).

A relentless wave of fear has and is sweeping into the Body of Christ.

Today, we are far, far removed from homosexuality being the crisis.

Today, anything goes. There is no right or wrong. Not only this, but personal morals are now equated with civil and legal rights.

In many respects the dividing line seems to be whether or not the Bible is inspired and without error in its original delivery to the prophets from God, or whether it is just a collection of myths and man-made opinions.

Largely due to complacency, we are now witnessing and shall continue to witness the following if we, The Church, do not stand up and do exactly what Christ Jesus called and commanded us to do.

– The relentless assault and further denigration of Biblical authority.

– We have witnessed, and we shall continue to witness a complete and total loss of a coherent definition of family.

– Already widespread, especially in America, we shall continue to witness the exploitation of children.

Many are now standing so far on the side of grace that truth is being neglected, if not totally dismissed.

Truthless grace accomplishes absolutely nothing.

Since when should a culture war dictate to The Church what the Church should believe? God’s Word transcends any culture.

In terms of The Church, the Church’s integrity is compromised when those professing to be Christian misrepresent Christianity. When people claiming to follow Christ misrepresent Him through immorality, Christians need to speak up and present the Truth.

We have and we are straying much too far from our accepting the Bible as the Word of God, as the sole authority in all matters of faith and practice.

It is not too late.

I believe, when The Church is functioning at its best, meaning The Church holds to the Lordship of Christ and to the Truth and Authority of Scripture, the Church “then” positively influences society and culture.

Where does our surrender and our allegiance begin? By returning to…

“Greater is He who is in you…” (1 John 4:4).

“…we are more than conquerors…” (Romans 8:37).

“…we can do all things through Christ who strengthens us…” (Philippians 4:13).

And…

“I will praise your name for your loving kindness and your truth, for you have magnified your word above your name” (Psalm 138).

Together, we can make a difference.

Where does our surrender and allegiance to Jesus begin?

By putting God’s Word in its proper place.

Pastor Phillip Lee
Executive Director
His Way Out Ministries

His Way Out has been faithfully ministering to men and women seeking a way out of sexually broken lifestyles since 1994. We could not do it without the support of Christians like you. Every dollar that you give to His Way Out Ministries helps to further this vital ministry. Won’t you take a minute to prayerfully consider a monthly donation to His Way Out? Please consider making a one-time donation or set up a secure monthly PayPal contribution on our donation page at https://www.hiswayout.com/donate/. Thank you, Pastor Phillip Lee

“The harm I witnessed in many lives and personally experienced as well, did not occur as a result of attempting to work through our unwanted issue of same-sex attraction but rather over and through our celebration of ‘gay.'” – Phillip Lee

There is no question that a goal of the gay liberation movement is to achieve a nationwide ban on counseling for individuals with same-sex attraction claiming “change is not possible” and to say that it is “too harmful.”

In my view, there continues to be relentless social pressure to protect “gays” from discrimination, but also from any form of disagreement, which from personal experience, is tragically promoting a dangerous philosophy.

I find this cause to be even more than intriguing since there is great diversity and disagreement in the gay community over fundamental basics such as “what it means to be gay or lesbian.” The gay community is hardly a unified front as many would have us believe.

While I personally deplore any and all forms of “gay-bashing” and other hate crimes against homosexuals, the extreme medical risks and the fundamental psychological problems often associated with homosexual practice cannot be undermined or dismissed.

That said, today, whether homosexual or heterosexual, the relationship between sexual promiscuity and high-risk sexual behavior are joined at the hip. This is not judgment but rather a fact of life.

In America, very little is being offered which promotes the truth about homosexuality and the general public has slowly but certainly bought into the many untruths with regard to the topic of homosexuality. This did not happen by accident.

In December 1973, by a narrow vote, homosexuality was removed from the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorder (DSM) by the American Psychiatric Association. The vote was not based upon scientific research but on political pressure from homosexual activists.

So much for an individual’s right of self-determination to address their unwanted homosexual feelings and behavior.

In a nutshell, the problem is the politicization of psychiatry, psychology, and most definitely, the Bible, to the extent that the freedom to investigate and address homosexuality has been and continues to be under serious and relentless attack.

Today, in America and around the world, in the name of tolerance, diversity, and equality, often the truth has been suppressed regarding homosexuality. We can and we must reverse the current trend through education, awareness, and understanding.

Yes, because of very real discrimination, homosexual activists created a brilliant strategic plan to gain across-the-board acceptance. Yet their plan was based on a flawed paradigm to persuade people they were born with same-gender attraction and that change is not possible.

It is an undeniable fact this strategy has worked, in spite of no scientific or Bible evidence to support the opinion, notion, or theory.

Ironically, the biggest losers just may be same-sex attracted men and women who may get everything they think they want, but will they be denied what they truly need?

It is impossible to read The Bible and reach any other conclusion other than, “Yes, change is possible.”

Pastor Phillip Lee
Executive Director
His Way Out Ministries

His Way Out has been faithfully ministering to men and women seeking a way out of sexually broken lifestyles since 1994. We could not do it without the support of Christians like you. Every dollar that you give to His Way Out Ministries helps to further this vital ministry. Won’t you take a minute to prayerfully consider a monthly donation to His Way Out? Please consider making a one-time donation or set up a secure monthly PayPal contribution on our donation page at https://www.hiswayout.com/donate/. Thank you, Pastor Phillip Lee

What a privilege and honor it has been to share several times with students at Queens Royal College in Port of Spain, Trinidad and Tobago.

Each and every time, students have been so attentive and expressed their willingness and dedication to know the truth of Scripture with regard to God’s divine intent for human sexuality.

Always, always thrilling to have opportunity to deposit into young lives that God loves them, He, in fact, does have a plan for their lives, and there is great, great reward in living their lives according to God’s perfect instruction book for life – The Bible.

Pastor Phillip Lee sharing with students at Queens Royal College.

Today, youth need more than anti-homosexual rhetoric.

They desperately need to know why Bible-believing, faithful followers of Christ Jesus believe homosexual practice is wrong and that there are options for those who are homosexually inclined. They need to hear a testimony and a message about homosexuality that balances both truth and grace, and which brings the Gospel to bear.

Many youths have been and continue to be swept up in the vacuum of, “There are so many mixed messages being generated today regarding homosexuality, where do we find truth?”

Christian youth, in particular, are frequently caught in the middle. Do they hold to the instructions of Scripture, church, and parents, or do they reject their faith convictions as outdated and accept a new morality?

Parents and church leaders can no longer afford to stay silent on this matter. Youth today can hardly watch a television program or movie without being bombarded with messages that attack and undermine Biblical perspectives on sexuality. Many youths are being taught that Christian morality is bigoted, antiquated and intolerant.

Is it surprising that for many youths without truthful and credible direction from positive moral authorities in their lives, are accepting what the culture is teaching them?

We, the Church, just maybe witnessing the loss of one of the greatest evangelistic opportunities of our time. And, I find it ironic, if not tragic, that the opportunity, the mission field lies in our own backyard. The reality of homosexuality isn’t, “out there,” it’s inside our churches, in youth groups across the country.

Bible-believing Christians must address the many myths our youth are being taught and how to refute them. How can they possibly hope to hold firm if parents and pastors refuse to address the lies that are bombarding our youth today?

Reaching youth struggling with their sexual identity is something we all can do and must do to help searching youth understand God’s abundant plans for their lives and to counteract misguided agendas that seek to ruin all hope for the youth.

You and I may be the only person that will have the courage to share the Good News with a youth impacted by sexual and relational brokenness.

Practically speaking…

– Keep the consequence of sin in context. We have all fallen short of the glory of God.

– Accepting and loving a teenager without conditions has nothing to do with condoning their behavior/lifestyle.

– Offer to serve as an accountability and prayer partner.

– Clearly distinguish the difference between temptation and sin.

– Don’t overreact – be prepared for the ‘born that way’ argument.

– You are not expected to have all the answers.

– Never, ever water down the Word of God.

– Be there, be patient and trust God completely.

Emphasize the key to overcoming sexual brokenness and sexual identity confusion is in Christ Jesus.

While it is easy enough to become cynical about the times in which we live, remember when God is put in the equation of life, a hope that does not disappoint rises with us. It is true that the number of teens struggling with their sexuality has become alarming, but we should and must trust God and reach out to youth with the message of salvation and sexual redemption available through the Lord Jesus Christ.

If you know Jesus, you are a candidate to be a champion for change in the life of a youth.

Pastor Phillip Lee
Executive Director
His Way Out Ministries

His Way Out has been faithfully ministering to men and women seeking a way out of sexually broken lifestyles since 1994. We could not do it without the support of Christians like you. Every dollar that you give to His Way Out Ministries helps to further this vital ministry. Won’t you take a minute to prayerfully consider a monthly donation to His Way Out? Please consider making a one-time donation or set up a secure monthly PayPal contribution on our donation page at https://www.hiswayout.com/donate/. Thank you, Pastor Phillip Lee

Today, for some people, morality has become purely a matter of personal taste. Regarding sexual expression, opinions vary on how best to attain fulfillment, and in the thinking of many people, these differences are nothing more than opinions. From this perspective, regardless of one’s personal view or opinion on sexual expression, sex outside of marriage between one man and one woman or remaining celibate as a single man or woman, has been reduced to a matter of personal preference or expression.

What we really should be asking ourselves is, are the qualities or consequences of sex outside of marriage beneficial or detrimental to individuals and to society? The question is neither political nor religious. Even if Democrats, Republicans, or The Church were silent on the subject, we would still need to ask whether sex outside of marriage is right or wrong. Ultimately, when the moral question is in focus, a number of other matters become irrelevant.

Whether or not sexual expression outside of marriage is good, and therefore, whether it ought to be socially accepted, has nothing to do with its legality or its political correctness. What matters morally should be determined on the basis of our best understanding of what constitutes human well-being.

Therefore, the issue before us is whether or not people’s lives are better physically, psychologically, and socially, as a result of sex outside marriage between one man and one woman.

Today, in American society, the quest to gain society’s stamp of approval on any type or form of sexual expression is relentless. What this amounts to is a society in which a majority of people will, in turn, lose the right to freedom of conscience, which in this case means the right to withhold affirmation and teaching and the right to believe that any form of sexual expression is not on par with the marriage bond between one man and one woman.

Romans 1:29-32 tells us the consequence of a society that ignores and suppresses His truth is a people filled with all unrighteousness, sexual immorality, wickedness, covetousness, maliciousness; full of envy, murder, strife, deceit, evil-mindedness; they are whisperers, back-biters, haters of God, violent, proud, boasters, inventors of evil things, disobedient to parents, untrustworthy, unloving, unforgiving, unmerciful; who, knowing the righteous judgment of God, that those who practice such things are deserving of death, not only do the same but also approve of those who practice them.

Thirty-eight years ago, it was Christians, speaking both truth and grace into my life that made all the difference. I would not be here today without them. My particular sin and brokenness were not overlooked but rather talked about openly and in conjunction with many, many other sins. For the first time in my life, I began to be who God created me to be which, by the way, also included loving even the broken parts as He did and does.

Jesus said, “Enter by the narrow gate; for wide is the gate and broad is the way that leads to destruction, and there are many who go in by it. Because narrow is the gate and difficult is the way which leads to life, and there are few who find it.” (Matthew 7:13-14)

When the moral question has been offered and answered, then, and only then, can we truly deal with the moral decay that exists in American society.

We as a nation are in immediate and serious trouble, and only God can fix it.

Pastor Phillip Lee
Executive Director
His Way Out Ministries

His Way Out has been faithfully ministering to men and women seeking a way out of sexually broken lifestyles since 1994. We could not do it without the support of Christians like you. Every dollar that you give to His Way Out Ministries helps to further this vital ministry. Won’t you take a minute to prayerfully consider a monthly donation to His Way Out? Please consider making a one-time donation or set up a secure monthly PayPal contribution on our donation page at https://www.hiswayout.com/donate/. Thank you, Pastor Phillip Lee

At the conclusion of each year our website coordinator for His Way Out Ministries prepares a Year End Traffic Report and I wanted to share a few details from the 2023 report because I believe you will find a number of findings insightful and encouraging.

Total page views for 2023 were 14,653. The home page of His Way Out Ministries was visited 4,633 times with “Praying for the Same-Sex Attracted Person” visited 2,027 times. Other Top Posts viewed: Contact His Way Out Ministries (691) and About His Way Out Ministries (472).

Top Clicks (links used when leaving the His Way Out Ministries web site): Facebook.

During 2023, numerous countries made their way to our site for information.

Countries such as: USA is number 1 with 12,656 visits, and then Canada 302. Followed by the United Kingdom 250, South Africa 152, Philippines 137, Trinidad and Tobago 106, China 97, Singapore 97, Jamaica 82, Australia 81, Germany 71, India 59, Malaysia 58, Kenya 40, Ireland 32, Netherlands 29, Nigeria 24, Hong Kong 22, France 20, Finland 19, New Zealand 19, South Korea 19, Guyana 19, Sweden 19, Nicaragua 15, Poland 15, Belgium 15, Brazil 13, Indonesia 12, Switzerland 12, Colombia 11, Portugal 11, Ghana 11, and Romania 10. Other countries in single digits represent people desiring to connect for information and support from all over the world.

Of the hundreds of articles offered on our web site, “Praying for the Same-Sex Attracted Person” has been the most viewed page for 7 years with our Contact Page being number 2.

The New Testament makes it abundantly clear that evangelism is in some way connected with the final return of Christ at the consummation of all history. Before the final coming of the Son of Man, “the gospel must first be preached to all nations.” (Mark 13:10)

Clearly, the greatest thing you and I can do for all people is to bring them face-to-face with the Christ who died for them.

Twenty-eight years ago, when God saw fit to birth His ministry called His Way Out Ministries, He could not have been more specific in defining our calling and mission.

The Church

Raise awareness, educate, equip, and encourage the Body of Christ to minister to those who struggle with homosexuality.

Individuals and Families

Lovingly communicate to the sexually broken that God’s mercy and grace are sufficient for transformation. Restoration and wholeness, through competent ministry, prayer, and a caring Christian community is possible.

Community

Effectively and compassionately communicate God’s heart concerning sexual and relational brokenness, while disputing the unchangeable nature of sexual orientation.

Today, freedom from homosexuality in Christ Jesus does not enjoy a lot of good press. However, The Church, Peter reminds us, exists not least to “declare the wonderful deeds of Him who called you out of darkness into His marvelous light. Once you were no people but now you are God’s people; once you had not received mercy but now you have received mercy.” (1 Peter 2:9-10)

This Good News is for sharing and His Way Out Ministries is here to ensure it happens.

On behalf of myself and the His Way Out Ministries Executive Board (Craig Fulwyler, Jim McArthur, Ginny Mitchell, Diane Ussery, Brody Hart), our Lord richly bless you for your faithful and generous prayer and financial support.

Together, we have, and we will continue to make a difference!

Pastor Phillip Lee
Executive Director
His Way Out Ministries

His Way Out has been faithfully ministering to men and women seeking a way out of sexually broken lifestyles since 1994. We could not do it without the support of Christians like you. Every dollar that you give to His Way Out Ministries helps to further this vital ministry. Won’t you take a minute to prayerfully consider a monthly donation to His Way Out? Please consider making a one-time donation or set up a secure monthly PayPal contribution on our donation page at https://www.hiswayout.com/donate/. Thank you, Pastor Phillip Lee

Nearing the end of 2023 and for the record…

Equality? How is that defined and what does that look like?

What many people forget, some conveniently, with regard to homosexuality and gay rights, is that it is possible (from a Christian perspective) to disagree with homosexual practice or as some state, the gay lifestyle, and yet treat individuals with respect and dignity.

Since the Biblical and theological perspectives are correct which see and define homosexual practice as one of the myriad forms which human fallenness can take, then those practicing or engaged in such behavior deserve the truth and even more so deserve the offer of forgiveness, healing and restoration which is available by and through Christ Jesus.

Therefore, any and all responses to same-sex attracted men and women, and homosexuality itself, clothed in and offered in truth and compassion can never and will never be homophobic, bigoted or hateful.

Truth is and truth matters greatly to God.

Gay activists, in particular, are swift to point out that any disagreement with gay (identity, practice, rights, etc.) must be classified as “hate.”

Gay and lesbian activists often claim they are asking for nothing more than social justice and the guarantee of their civil rights – to be protected from oppression, anti-homosexual violence, housing and employment discrimination based upon their sexual orientation.

Is this truly the case?

Once again, bearing in mind to challenge or disagree in any way with “gay” = hate, (per many gay activists), what about when same-sex attracted men and women disagree within their own ranks and community with challenges and different beliefs and viewpoints regarding “gay?”

Within the gay community there is great diversity and disagreement regarding what it means to be gay or lesbian. Many do not appreciate or use the word gay and many believe same-sex marriage is a joke.

One need only consider the fierce opposition that frequently arises within the homosexual community when any of its own dare to criticize various aspects of either the gay or lesbian lifestyle or their social and political endeavors.

The gay community is anything but a united front as some would have us believe. Therefore, when speaking of the “gay agenda,” it is important to recognize and acknowledge that there is by no means a unanimous agreement on all the details of that agenda.

Therefore, it seems to me when criticisms or challenges surface in their own camp and vehemently opposed, should not that be viewed and termed – hateful?

Personally-speaking, it is well known that the subject of homosexuality for me is both professional and personal.

Herein lies my concern. Many today are stating, “God’s standards just seem unfair – therefore, they must not really be God’s standards.”

When the moral question has been answered and upheld by individuals, families and churches, then, and only then, can we deal with the relationship between homosexual practice, society and the Church.

Equality?

Frankly, the welfare of individuals, society, and the Church as a whole, depends on our facing the subject of homosexuality honestly, compassionately, and courageously.

Yes, homosexuals have the right, as do others, to believe that homosexual behavior should be accepted as normal. However, they do not have the right to demand everyone else agree with them.

True love is loving in spite of our differences and treating each other with kindness and respect. This is what it means to live in a society in which freedom of speech, religion (and belief) are guaranteed.

Pastor Phillip Lee
Executive Director
His Way Out Ministries

His Way Out has been faithfully ministering to men and women seeking a way out of sexually broken lifestyles since 1994. We could not do it without the support of Christians like you. Every dollar that you give to His Way Out Ministries helps to further this vital ministry. Won’t you take a minute to prayerfully consider a monthly donation to His Way Out? Please consider making a one-time donation or set up a secure monthly PayPal contribution on our donation page at https://www.hiswayout.com/donate/. Thank you, Pastor Phillip Lee

– Biblically-speaking, every example of marriage is between a man and a woman. Man cannot redefine what he never originally defined.

– God says change is possible. (1 Corinthians 6:9-11).

– Biblical standards and relevant cultural witness are partners.

– To disagree or have a different belief does not = hate, bigotry or homophobic.

– God’s truth is absolute truth and those that live by His truth should be, must be engaged in the challenge of applying His unchanging standards to an ever-changing society and world.

– God’s definition of love has nothing to do with sex. True evidence of love for God results in obedience to His commands.

– Scripturally speaking, it is impossible to validate homosexual practice in any form or to any degree.

– Did God really say? Satan’s deception has always been and will always be to get you to doubt what God said.

– Grace without truth is deception and useless.

– God’s truth will outlast any lie.

– It is not possible to say we love people while saying nothing and allowing them to compromise in a life of sexual sin, unchallenged.

– Churches that offer a balance, a blend of both truth and grace, are grounded and positioned to offer powerful, dynamic ministry.

– The Rainbow belongs to God because it is the sign of a Covenant.

– One’s true identity is in Christ Jesus – not sexuality.

– “Born That Way” remains a myth, a notion, a personal opinion.

– The Gay Christian identity does not exist in the Kingdom of Heaven.

– Our society’s sexual ethics is in direct contradiction to the teaching of Scripture.

– The Bible is the Word of God and true in all that it contains.

– Clearly, the New Testament Church, was filled with repentant ex-homosexuals who found new life in Christ. (1 Corinthians 6:11).

– Homosexual practice is not the greatest sin.

– No one gets to choose that which tempts them, but we do choose how we respond to temptation.

– To call homosexuality ‘gay’ is the ultimate contradiction.

– Every time homosexuality is mentioned in Scripture, it is always in the context of a behavior, not unlike many others, God says no one is to practice.

– The Church holds the only answer there is to the on-going crisis regarding homosexual practice.

– Gay and Gospel are not compatible.

– Pro-gay theology is becoming more acceptable resulting in sound doctrine, the Bible itself, being taken less seriously.

– The Christian community must respond with unconditional love to men and women dealing with same-sex attraction, while remaining unwavering in loyalty to God’s Word.

– God’s Word never changes. God’s Word does not adapt to culture, it transcends it.

– Jesus remains the way, the truth, and the life (John 14:6).

“If I profess with the loudest voice and clearest exposition every portion of the truth of God except precisely that little point which the world and the devil are at the moment attacking, then I am not confessing Christ, however boldly I may be professing Christ. Where the battle rages, there the loyalty of soldier is tested.” Martin Luther

Gone are the days of Bible-believing Christians living an unchallenged faith, because the land we once viewed as a comfortable home has become foreign territory, barely recognizable to those of us who remember other times.

This interview though recorded in July 2018 illustrates, depicts and defines why we must never be ashamed of the Gospel – and we are told to proclaim its precepts.

But how do we stand up to an increasingly hostile culture that demands our silence?

Walking in faith isn’t so much about fighting culture wars but witnessing Jesus’ restorative grace to those who haven’t yet found it.

The interview will affirm your understanding of the Bible’s views on sin, salvation, gender identity and homosexuality while teaching you why today’s world has grown hostile to Christian and biblical values and where you can find room to minister within challenging conversations.

Listen online or download so you can listen later.

Rock Harbor Church Interview On The State Of The LGBT Movement – Download MP3 –

Also available for listening at Rock Harbor Church
rockharborchurch.net/pastor-phillip-lee-interview-on-the-state-of-the-lgbt-movement/

Today attempts to divert theological arguments regarding homosexuality rather than solve them are widening. Battles over homosexuality in churches have been raging for decades and continue today. Tragically, Sunday after Sunday, men and women gather for worship as though nothing has happened. Caught in the middle of this dark draft are men and women struggling with unwanted same-sex attraction. What are they to do? Where are they to go? Who will protect and defend them?

It is beyond tragic that much of the Church has become ensnared and bound by the false belief that in order to be effective in ministering to an individual with same-sex attraction, they must have struggled with same-sex attraction as well. Frankly, for the majority, this has become a matter of convenience to do nothing.

Compounding the crisis is the absence of conviction.

One of my absolute all-time favorite movies, directed by Robert Redford, is A River Runs Through It. It is a story about a Presbyterian minister in Montana with two sons. One son most definitely takes a more conventional approach to life while the other is a bit of a rascal. The two men take undeniably different paths in life but remain held together by the bond of family unity and respect. Sadly, at the end of the story, the renegade son is shot in a gambling dispute and dies. At the end of the film, the father is preaching. His sermon comes from Scripture and focuses on the often limitations of love. He says, “Often times those we love are the most unwilling or unable to accept our love. We reach out, but what we offer is not accepted. And, so we find that the help we offer is unwanted – but, we can love them all the same. We can love completely, even without complete understanding.”

Caught in the middle of the spiritual vacuum of “say nothing, do nothing” with regard to homosexuality and related issues, is the repentant homosexual that has not only abandoned the sexual sin of homosexual practice but a whole network of support and an identity as well. Surrendering unconditionally to the Lordship of Christ, they enter Church (many for the first time in their lives) with nothing. God, having brought them to a place of repentance, feel very frightened, vulnerable, and very, very alone.

I freely admit that I remain perplexed and deeply troubled by those in the Church that are terrified, if not paralyzed by the gay rights movement, and want to see any further legitimization of homosexuality stopped dead in its tracks but remain hesitant and unwilling to offer ministry to those who desire to come out of the behavior.

This makes absolutely no sense.

Today, more than ever, we are in need of churches that will not sidestep truth or grace but offer crystal clear truth on a host of issues, including homosexuality, toward every person. Frankly, this is exactly what the Church was called to be from the beginning and it is exactly what people are looking for today. It is a Church just like this that saved my life.

Over these past 38 years of my new life in Christ, I have shared numerous times the heart-wrenching fact that all those I once ran with are now gone. To this day, their names, faces, their laughs, haunt me. I clearly and vividly remember a phone call with my closest and dearest friend just before he passed away with AIDS. He remained in San Francisco long after God had transported me back to Bakersfield in 1985 when and where everything in my life changed. The last thing he said to me over a phone conversation was, “Phillip, we don’t understand what has happened to you, but whatever it is, keep it up.” Indeed, I continue to be haunted by waters.

Many know and understand the importance and significance of reaching the unreached peoples of the world for Christ Jesus. What about the unreached homosexual population? We, the Christian community, have a lot to learn about bringing Jesus to the gays and lesbians who hopefully will one day knock at the doors of our churches. How about, “If you struggle with homosexuality and feel trapped – there is hope! Come on into Church and investigate the roots and causes of your struggle with homosexuality. We will walk with you as you look past the surface, deep into your heart, and consider God’s will for your life.”

It is the clarity of the Holy Scriptures that should compel each and every faithful follower of Christ Jesus to be a light where there is darkness, rather than hiding our witness from those who need it.

Today, no one, with integrity, can continue to condemn a behavior or a group of people while doing so very, very little to see things improve.

Pastor Phillip Lee
Executive Director
His Way Out Ministries

His Way Out has been faithfully ministering to men and women seeking a way out of sexually broken lifestyles since 1994. We could not do it without the support of Christians like you. Every dollar that you give to His Way Out Ministries helps to further this vital ministry. Won’t you take a minute to prayerfully consider a monthly donation to His Way Out? Please consider making a one-time donation or set up a secure monthly PayPal contribution on our donation page at https://www.hiswayout.com/donate/. Thank you, Pastor Phillip Lee

Usually, when homosexuality becomes known in a family, the greater attention and focus is normally placed on the individual that has announced his or her being gay.

However, when homosexuality comes knocking on your personal front door, it affects much more than just him or her. Immediately, the crisis becomes a family matter with the family having to work through the blow of learning of a child’s homosexuality.

For Christian parents becoming aware of a child’s homosexuality, it becomes very tempting to respond with, “How can you be homosexual? You’re a Christian!” Parents become immediately flooded with questions such as: What will people think? What did I do wrong? or How are we going to deal with this?

Without a doubt, it is just as difficult for the individual to disclose their battle with same-gender attraction as it is for the family to hear. In the majority of cases, the individual struggling with same-gender attraction has been in an intense battle for a very long time especially if the individual is an adult.

The very moment the admission comes out of the individual’s mouth, all of the anxiety, turmoil, fear, shame, anger, disillusionment, and more, is immediately transferred to the parents (family).

Parents naturally want to protect their children and rightfully feel a huge amount of responsibility for their lives. As a result, it is absolutely imperative that Christian parents establish boundaries when facing and dealing with a child’s acceptance and practice of homosexuality.

In their book Boundaries, Dr’s Henry Cloud and John Townsend describe boundaries as “what defines what is me and what is not me. A boundary shows me where I end and someone else begins, leading me to a sense of ownership.”

Without a doubt, parents experience a huge amount of loss when they find out about a child’s homosexuality. Almost immediately, grief, despair, disillusionment, and fear surface launching parents into a process where they ultimately must give themselves permission to grieve and not pretend that nothing is wrong or that their world has been turned upside-down.

Every year, I receive numerous inquiries for guidance from parents wanting to know what are some of the do’s and don’ts when the holidays are fast approaching.

During the holiday season, parents in particular become overwhelmed with the various looming scenarios related to a gay-identified child coming home for Christmas and bringing “a friend.”

The line(s) between acceptance and approval, love and condoning a sinful behavior can often become a bit blurry and challenging during the holiday season.

Anita Worthen discusses the issue of inviting a child’s partner for the holidays in her book Someone I Love is Gay, “Your child’s partner is not the enemy. He or she is someone God loves – just as he loves your son or daughter.” However, that doesn’t mean you welcome the couple into your home as if nothing was wrong. Ignoring the obvious has a name – denial.

A good rule of thumb in ultimately coming to a decision on how to handle the situation is to ask, “How would I handle it if my child wanted to bring home an opposite-sex partner?” I believe the majority of Christian families would probably invite that person into their home, but clearly define the appropriate boundary line of separate sleeping arrangements. However, if parents are completely uncomfortable with the entire gay scenario, being honest is the very best policy for all involved. Because each family is unique, each family has to find a way to handle the various situations that will undoubtedly surface. There isn’t one universal answer that works for everyone.

Frankly, there aren’t any easy, pat answers for a family working through the awareness of a child’s homosexuality. There are no magic cures, no shortcuts.

However, God is more than able and willing to bring the entire family into a deeper, more intimate relationship with Him since the family, by God’s own design, was designed to be a support system and a place of love and safety.

Ultimately, only through a personal relationship with Jesus Christ and the indwelling presence of His Spirit, will any individual or family be enabled to overcome homosexuality and the many related issues.

Being a very practical individual, I encourage all parents (families) to consider that the crisis does not rest solely with the homosexual child. Within the mix of the various and numerous contributing factors to any individual struggling with same-gender attraction are family and relational issues that enabled the situation.

Therefore, I believe parents, the family, need to be willing to (1) educate themselves on homosexual behavior, (2) seek spiritual guidance for themselves, certainly their feelings and emotions, (3) be patient in embracing the reality that healing is a process and (4) release the child into the God’s care. Admittedly, the last point is much easier said than done.

However, it is when we let go of a child, a friend, or a spouse that we do stop taking responsibility for them, but we do not stop fulfilling our responsibilities to them. Homosexuality is not just about an issue. This is about people – people that God loves and people for whom Jesus died.

When homosexuality surfaces in a family, it isn’t just a child struggling with same-gender attraction; it is a family issue and needs to be healed within the family.

“The Lord also will be a refuge for the oppressed, a refuge in times of trouble.” Psalm 9:9

Recommended Reading

Someone I Love is Gay by Anita Worthen and Bob Davies
This book gives easy-to-understand answers to the family members surrounding the homosexual. Many real-life examples are cited to help families understand and respond to their homosexual loved one in a compassionate way.

101 Frequently Asked Questions About Homosexuality by Mike Haley
In this book, you will find answers to the most often asked questions about homosexuality from an expert on the subject – and a former homosexual himself.

When Homosexuality Hits Home by Joe Dallas
In this straightforward book, Christian author and counselor Joe Dallas offers practical, step-by-step advice on how to deal with the many conflicts and emotions experienced by parents, grandparents, siblings, and extended family members when they learn of a loved one’s homosexuality.

Category Archive for additional Recommended Reading
hiswayout.com/category/recommended-reading

Believing in Him and You,

Pastor Phillip Lee
Executive Director
His Way Out Ministries

His Way Out has been faithfully ministering to men and women seeking a way out of sexually broken lifestyles since 1994. We could not do it without the support of Christians like you. Every dollar that you give to His Way Out Ministries helps to further this vital ministry. Won’t you take a minute to prayerfully consider a monthly donation to His Way Out? Please consider making a one-time donation or set up a secure monthly PayPal contribution on our donation page at https://www.hiswayout.com/donate/. Thank you, Pastor Phillip Lee