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By Pastor Phillip Lee
Weekly, I meet with Mom, Dad and their teenage son or daughter. What brought them in?
One morning, Mom found some e-mails and images that were left on the computer. She was shocked at what she read and viewed. All were sexually explicit. All were describing homosexual behavior - homosexual behavior between her son and another person, whom she did not know. And now, Mom was convinced she didn't even know her son.
Immediately, Mom informs Dad she thinks their son might be gay and they decide to confront him together. To their surprise, their son does not deny that he has same-gender desires and that he has acted on some of them. He even say's he has a boyfriend at school, but insists he is not gay. No, he say's, possibly bisexual, but not gay. Sound confusing? Mom and Dad certainly think so.
The above scenario is all too common and comes our way at His Way Out Ministries weekly. More and more families are having to pick up the pieces after they discover that a teenage son or daughter is struggling with sexual brokenness or sin. Often, very often, parents contact His Way Out Ministries when their teens identify themselves as gay, lesbian or bisexual, but the problem does not manifest itself in just same-gender desires or behavior. Many more teens wrestle with heterosexual pornography and sexual contact than who struggle with homosexuality.
So what do you do, when the life you hope for yourselves and your children falls to pieces? Can God intend anything good out of a teenage son or daughter's sexual brokenness? Many parents of teens realize with dismay that many of the things they expected for themselves and their children are at risk. A family member's sin impacts everyone in the family.
What would you hope to come out of this situation if you were the father or mother in the real-life scenario offered above? Would you want the pain to stop and everything to return to "normal," or, with deep sadness, would you be waiting for God to show you how He will glorify Himself in the midst of this seemingly hopeless situation?
The pain of a teen's sexual brokenness cuts hard and deep. The only hope that exists for everyone in the family is to cry out to God - to confess the pain and receive help. Jesus is the One who issues the invitation: "Come to Me, all who are weary and heavy laden, and I will give you rest" (Matthew 11:28). Jesus does not promise that your circumstances will be different, but He does promise to comfort, encourage and bear you up in the midst of walking through the valley of the shadow of death. Ultimately, He offers His peace in the midst of the circumstances.
The desires that lead us all to sin are essentially the same. See if any of these desires are at work in your teen's life and in your own: a desire for close friendship; a desire to be understood; a desire to be in control of a chaotic life; a desire to be loved; a desire to fit it; a desire to be free from pain or suffering; a desire to be affirmed; a desire to be accepted by others...
Sexual sin of any type or to any degree is one way that teens can seemingly satisfy those desires, but what results from sin is always counterfeit. It never truly fulfills those longings because only Christ can fill those empty places in our hearts.
I have spoken with scores of parents over the last several years who are utterly shocked and dismayed that dreams and expectations they had for their children and for their stable and respectable family have seemingly been smashed.
No individual or family can work through the crisis of sexual and relational brokenness alone. God has placed others in the Body of Christ around us to comfort and encourage us specifically so we will see and feel Christ at work in the midst of our circumstances. At His Way Out Ministries, we are here to help. While we certainly do not profess to have all the answers, we are more than willing to go with you to the One that does!
Any and all solutions, regarding sexual and relational brokenness or the many other forms of brokenness, must begin and end with Jesus. After Jesus tells His disciples about the difficult things that will happen in John 14-16, He offers hope: "I have said these things to you so that in Me you may have peace. In the world you will have trouble. But take heart; I have overcome the world" (John 16:33).
From All of Us at His Way Out Ministries...
...Happy Thanksgiving!
Pastor Phillip Lee
Executive Director
His Way Out Ministries
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Problems vs. Opportunities
We always thank God, the Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, when we pray for you, because we have heard of your faith in Christ Jesus and of the love you have for all the saints...All over the world this gospel is bearing fruit and growing, just as it has been doing among you since the day you heard it and understood God's grace in all its truth (Colossians 1:3-4, 6b).
Regularly we hear about, and converse with, numerous individuals in ministry about the times we are in as a Church and the challenges we face. Often, very often, conversation turns to the sad state of the Church and where we are sexually. Admittedly, many Christian men and women are fighting an intense battle against homosexuality and pornography. The men, women, and families who come to His Way Out Ministries must get painfully honest and learn how to be truly intimate with Christ and others. There simply is no other way. There are no shortcuts and no quick fixes. Transformation, healing, deliverance, and restoration is not packaged in a workbook or promised in twelve short weeks.
We get down deep in the stuff of the heart and the real transformation power of the Holy Spirit. That is why we view the current crisis in the Church as an opportunity rather than a problem. In order for people to change they must embrace a relational Christianity. For fifteen years, it has been our privilege at His Way Out Ministries to guide people into a deeper, more intimate relationship with Christ.
So, while others may be wringing their hands, or denying the problem, we are knee-deep in broken people getting well by Jesus' power. We realize that His Way Out Ministries are not the only ones who do this, nor are we the best at it; we are only saying that Jesus has graced us with certain skills. We cannot do what we do, however, without your on-going support. Will you please give toward our work this month? Partnering together, we are able to do much inside and outside the Church. Thank you for the prayerful consideration of partnering with His Way Out Ministries.
Send your check to:
His Way Out Ministries, 1412 17th Street, Suite 313, Bakersfield, CA 93301
(Checks should be made payable to His Way Out Ministries)
Or use your credit card:
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Other ways you can help:
- Add His Way Out Ministries to your prayer list.
- Ask your pastor to check out our website.
- Tell your friends about His Way Out Ministries and encourage them to visit this web site.
- Encourage your pastor to consider hosting a seminar or inviting His Way Out Ministries to speak at your church.
- Ask your church to consider adding His Way Out Ministries to its missions budget.
- Show our teaching DVD or Video: "Homosexuality and the Reality of Change" to your Sunday School class.
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His Way Out Vimeo Channel ONLINE
His Way Out Ministries has opened His Way Out Vimeo Channel with an in depth interview of Pastor Phillip Lee filmed on location at Television Jamaica.
His Way Out Vimeo Channel
The program, Religious HardTalk, is a hard-hitting, controversial and thought provoking series by renowned journalist Ian Boyne. Religious HardTalk delves into matters concerning the Church and religion with diverse guests in no holds barred, incisive discussions, debates and interviews.
Check it out today!
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Pro-Gay Scriptural Arguments
Pro-gay challenge: Exactly which Scriptures do you think condemn homosexuality?
Response: Genesis, for example, makes God's intent for sexual relationships pretty clear when it describes the first couple.
Pro-gay challenge: But there's nothing about gays in those verses!
Response: Exactly. The story of Adam and Eve doesn't say anything about homosexuality, only heterosexuality - a standard of God's intention for men and women. It's the only standard upheld throughout the Bible.
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Pastor Phillip Lee at Parkside Church
Listen online to a presentation by Pastor Phillip Lee to the congregation of Parkside Church on the subject What Does the Bible Say About Homosexuality? You can Listen Online to the 6.2 MB, 36min, MP3 at this link.
Give it a few moments to begin downloading and it will play. Windows 95/98 users make sure your Windows Media Player (or other MP3 software) is up to date. Right-click and choose "Save Target As..." to save it on your computer. (If Internet Explorer attempts to save as .mpga you can change it to an .mp3 file type.) You can then play it later or copy it to any MP3 portable player.
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His Way Out Teaching Modules Coming Up in 2010!
Homosexuality and the Church - March, 6, 13, 20, 27
- Why has the issue of homosexuality been so divisive to the Church?
- How does God want us to see gay people?
- Who should we welcome into the Church?
- Where can I find the Scriptures on homosexuality?
- What sends an ex-gay person back into the old lifestyle?
- What do ex-gay people want to tell the Church?
- How do I as a parent, a pastor, a friend, a Christian, respond to an individual confessing they are gay?
- What do we know about homosexuality?
- Is homosexuality inborn?
- Is there a difference between acceptance and approval?
- As a parent, how do I go on after learning of my child's homosexuality?
- My husband is gay. Do I stay in the marriage?
- What are the most common pro-gay arguments?
- Where do we go from here?
- So, what does a friendship with a "gay youth" look like?
- "I can change? How long is this going to take?"
- How do I begin a dialog with a gay youth?
- "What if people think I'm gay?"
- Want to connect with a youth? Be authentic.
- Can homosexuals really change?
- How do I combat pro-gay arguments?
- How long does change take?
- Is there any scientific evidence to support the practice of homosexuality?
- Will the person become heterosexual?
- What are the root causes of homosexuality?
- Why is maintaining sexual purity so vital to the life of a Christian?
- What constitutes sexual immorality?
- How can a Christian walk in purity when temptation seems to be around every corner?
- Sexual purity? Shouldn't that be one way to recognize a Christian today?
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Video: Homosexuality and the Reality of Change
Homosexuality and the Reality of Change presents a biblical perspective on the homosexual behavior with honesty and compassion. The 50 minute video contains information on: Can Homosexuals Really Change?, Will the Person Become Heterosexual?, How Long Does Change Take?, Exposing the Roots of Homosexuality, HIV and AIDS, Biblical and Scientific Evidence for Change, and much, much more.
This video is an excellent resource for teachers, churches, pastors, support group leaders, or anyone desiring a clear, comprehensive understanding of homosexuality.
The Good News of Jesus Christ and His love, acceptance, and forgiveness, His power to heal and restore has brought hope to many struggling with homosexuality. If you know someone struggling with same-gender attractions Homosexuality and the Reality of Change can help.
Videos are available on VHS or DVD at a cost of $20.00. To order your video...give us a call today.
We recently received, and watched, the video you sent us. It was excellent. We will be sharing it with other people at our church. One part that especially ministered to us was when Pastor Lee said from Philippians 1:6 that God is never going to give up His job of working in our life to conform us to the image of Christ. It helps makes sense of life's trials. Thank you for your ministry...Tom & Catherine
His Way Out Ministries from Phillip Lee on Vimeo.
If you're having trouble viewing the video above. Try the link below:His Way Out Ministries Intro
2min 38sec, 1.3MB, QT.mov
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What's Coming Up?
Maintaining & Restoring Sexual Purity (Series) Continues in November!
On Saturday, November 7th and November 21st: Using What We Know/Application: Can my wife be my accountability partner? What about relapse? Does the use of pornography constitute adultery? Are my disciplines in place? Living by faith, not feelings, and much more!
Maintaining and Restoring Sexual Purity is available to men and women that struggle with sexual and relational brokenness (heterosexual and homosexual), wives whose marriage has been impacted by pornography, adultery, or homosexuality, and parents rebounding from the shock and dismay of a child or loved one involved in homosexuality.
All meetings are held at Chester Avenue Community Church (Chapel), 1509 South Chester Avenue in Bakersfield, CA. Meetings begin at 9:00am and conclude at 11:00am. Teaching materials are provided and there is no fee for the series. If you're tired of fighting the battle alone and you are ready to take some major steps toward sexual purity, please make plans to join us.
Maintaining and Restoring Sexual Purity has been a year-long series and concludes on November 21st.
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IT'S ABOUT LIFE
Food Ministry to Those Impacted by AIDS
AIDS profoundly impacts one's life whether that person has been infected by it or they are a family member or a friend of someone who has. The social stigmas, fears and especially the "aloneness" associated with AIDS makes it oppressive to live with. "IT'S ABOUT LIFE" is a crucial part of His Way Out Ministries. Because His Way Out Ministries is committed to compassionately communicating God's heart through a caring Christian community, His Way Out Ministries will be a receiving house for non-perishable food items. This will assist those with AIDS to maintain a balanced diet and good nutrition. Two major considerations in food donations for folks with AIDS are speed and ease of preparation. An appetite sometimes doesn't last long and the item has to be readily accessible and speedily prepared for the patient to be able to enjoy it.
We invite churches, companies, ministries, corporations, individuals, and the entire City of Bakersfield to join with us in caring. Offer your support by donating the below listed items.
| Canned tuna | Canned soups |
| Canned ravioli | Canned pasta products, e.g.Spaghettio's |
| Hamburger Helper | Peanut butter |
| Hamburger Helper | Peanut butter |
| Jams and jellies | Breakfast cereals |
| Breakfast bars | Fruit cocktail |
| Canned peaches | Top Ramen |
| Cup o' Noodle soups | Canned potatoes |
| Canned corn | Macaroni and cheese mixes |
| Rice 'o Roni type mixes | Chili beans |
| Tomato paste, Tomato sauce | Spaghetti sauce |
| Potted meats | Canned stews |
| Instant potato mixes, e.g., scalloped | Instant oatmeal variety packs |
| Kleenex | Paper towels |
| Toilet paper | Popsicles (not frozen) |
| Instant breakfast drinks | Spaghetti |
His Way Out Ministries is located in The Haberfelde Building in downtown Bakersfield, California; 1412 17th Street, Suite 313. Items will be distributed in cooperation with other outreaches in our community. This is a continuous, on-going ministry. For further information, please call (661) 321-9551. God Bless You for your giving.
His Way Out Ministries Services
- Consultations
- Family Support Group
- Individual Prayer Ministry
- "Time Out" Discipleship Series
- Ministry Support Network
- Speakers available to address Christian groups
- "Moving On" Advanced/Closed Support Groups
- "It's About Life" Ministry to Those Impacted by AIDS
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