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June 2009 Highlights
- Change!
- You Can Help His Way Out
- Our Office and Support Groups Have Moved!
- Make Us One! Exodus International Freedom Conference
- Pastor Phillip Lee LIVE at UBC
- Dear His Way Out Ministries...
- Now on DVD: Homosexuality and the Reality of Change
- What's Coming Up?
- IT'S ABOUT LIFE: Food Ministry to Those Impacted by AIDS
- His Way Out Ministries Services
By Carol Wagstaff and Phillip Lee
The Oxford American Dictionary defines change as to make or become different; to pass from one form or phase into another. Certainly, for any individual the greatest change is to become a Christian and know that your destination has been changed from hell to heaven; to become born-again.
While Scripture and an abundance of secular literature provide evidence that homosexuality, though deeply ingrained and even habitually practiced, can be overcome both as a lifestyle and as an identity, many seem to still differ, object, and require an explanation of what it means for a homosexual to change.
To be sure, in the world of men and women that struggle with same-gender attraction and those that love them, the word "change" is a hot button. Often, individuals who are normally mild mannered and passive become red-faced and belligerent at the mere mention that change might be possible. Maybe you've noticed. Heated arguments erupt when this issue is brought up.
However, the question "can homosexuals really change?" is a fair and monumentally important question. Based on our ministry experience, each person seeking to overcome homosexuality is different. The men and women that have exited homosexuality span a wide variety of ages, personalities, occupations, nationalities, and church denominations. Some of these men and women have been free from any form of homosexual involvement for ten or twenty years. And, they are not just suppressing their strong homosexual or lesbian longings. There has been a true resolution of this issue in their lives.
Often, caught in the middle of the emotional conflict regarding change is the person who struggles with unwanted same-gender attractions. To him, (and we use the pronoun generically for both men and women) the issue of change is more than just an issue of emotional debate. It strikes at the very core of his being...either bringing hope or despair.
Certainly, there is no identical plan of action for healing, restoration, deliverance, no quick fix or one-two-three formula. Many seeking freedom from unwanted same-gender attractions have found all the help they needed through their local church. Others have found support through a local ex-gay ministry which offered spiritual guidance and frequent fellowship support groups. Still other men and women (those with deeply rooted symptoms needing professional expertise) have sought additional private psychological therapy. Having been around the phenomenon of change for quite some time, we are convinced that much of the conflict regarding homosexuality and change comes from a misunderstanding of the meaning of change.
Redemptive changes occur in all of us as human beings and are precipitated by many things...God's timing, our desires, our commitment to God and the healing, restoration process, our past involvement in sinful behavior, and what it was that pushed us toward that particular sin in the first place. With homosexuality, it is no different. The contributing factors to a person having an issue with same-gender attraction are numerous and complex. However, that does not minimize God's power and sovereignty, nor does it change the undeniable biblical evidence that God can change the life of a person involved in homosexuality. Homosexuals have been experiencing change since the Bible was written (1 Corinthians 6:9-11).
Yes, change occurs within a process; a process that takes time. Spiritual growth is a lifelong process. Working through character faults and past hurts, immaturity's and insecurities is a long process for everyone, not just the recovering homosexual or lesbian. What is that process? What are some of the battles they will undoubtedly have to face?
There must be an admittance that I need to change. It's pretty tough to admit that I need to change, especially if I have had same-gender desires for as long as I can remember, and they feel natural. To admit that I need to change is to say there is something wrong with the way I am or the way that I live. That's a pretty tough pill to swallow because it hurts our ego. However, admitting that I need help is a brave first step. Change is a cooperative venture between God and us through the power of the Holy Spirit.
Leaving homosexuality is something like submitting to major spiritual surgery. Identity becomes in absolute turmoil. That should not be so surprising since anytime we make a change in our behavior, it is usually because the pain involved in that behavior outweighs the pleasure. Maybe you've noticed? While we know intellectually we must make a change, our feelings don't necessarily follow. Men and women that say good-bye to homosexuality or lesbianism, experience grief, disorientation, and confusion. Anytime we lose something or someone important to us, the loss registers deep within our being. Not surprising, the loss impacts our life and we grieve. For people coming out of homosexuality the loss can be multifaceted: an identity, possibly a partner, a secure living situation, etc. The change is often dramatic and the grief, disorientation and, sometimes confusion that follows, can be devastating.
Exposing the roots and opening old wounds can be costly. Why study or explore the root(s) of brokenness? In terms of homosexuality, understanding homosexual development points the way to true resolution. The changing of any behavior necessitates retracing the steps that have brought us to this point. Looking at family dynamics, painful childhood experiences, physical or sexual abuse, peer pressure, temperament and interests, societal influences, all can play a part in shaping a persons sexual orientation. If I desire to understand how I arrived at this point, I must delve into my life, examining the path I have taken and what might have robbed me of a healthy heterosexual identity. Identifying painful situations and working through them is part of the process.
Being totally committed to the will of God. Why do some people make it out of homosexuality while others don't? One common denominator among those men and women that have experienced significant change involves the issue of surrender and control in their lives. Nothing short of total commitment to the will of God (despite feelings, emotions, hormones, temptations, etc.) will hold a homosexual to the discipline needed for the change process. Ultimately, the Lordship of Christ and the Authority of Scripture must prevail in all circumstances and take priority regardless of what I think or feel. Sexual sin is very insidious. At its core, it is a need to be loved...to be held and treasured. But like so many of Satan's tricks, sex becomes the cheap substitute - the means to an end. Commitment to God's will necessitates death - a death to self - a death to "what I want when I want it" and giving over to what God wants for me. It is putting God on the throne instead of self.
There is a cost to "change." Ultimately, a person's freedom or deliverance from homosexuality comes from a Person, rather than a method. Ironically, the interesting thing about the change process is that change itself is not the goal. Change of any type or to any degree will only occur when that person pursues a far more compelling goal and focus. Freedom, change, healing, restoration only occurs when we look upward to Jesus and are purposed to enter more deeply into fellowship with Him.
Right now, there are men and women at all levels of change. Once again, all Christians face the decision of accepting or rejecting Christ's Lordship. As our Creator, God is the only one who knows exactly how to restore us and bring about change. To those that have made the journey out of homosexuality and those that are in process...we applaud their courage and the ground they have gained. You chose the high calling of God. Therefore, "He who began a good work in you will carry it to completion until the day of Christ Jesus" (Philippians 1:6).
Recommended Reading
Truth & Tolerance (Youth Leader's Guide) - This comprehensive guide helps youth leaders address homosexuality in their youth groups, mentor teens who are struggling with same-sex attractions and equip young people to stand firm against the message of the world while reaching out to their hurting peers.
Restoring Sexual Identity - A book offering answers to the most commonly asked questions from both homosexuals desiring change and friends and relatives of women struggling with same-sex attraction.
101 Frequently Asked Questions About Homosexuality - What causes same-sex attraction? Can you be gay and Christian? This book offers answers to the most often asked questions about homosexuality, fielded by an expert on the subject.
All of the above mentioned resources and much more may be viewed and obtained from Exodus Books.
From All of Us at His Way Out Ministries...
To each of you who continually bless us by your encouragement, ministry participation, monthly financial support offerings and prayers...we remain truly grateful. His Way Out Ministries is proclaiming to, educating and impacting the world with the biblical truth that freedom from homosexuality is possible when Jesus Christ is Lord of you life!
Pastor Phillip Lee
Executive Director
His Way Out Ministries
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You Can Help His Way Out
His Way Out Ministries is one of the few places people can go for sensitive help regarding same-gender attraction and related issues. Your financial support enables us to fight the good fight. Without a doubt, we at His Way Out Ministries need to be stronger than ever, ready to face the challenge of this generation with truth and integrity. We are more committed than ever to proclaiming the Lord's transforming power through our lives, and equipping the Church to authenticate that healing. Your support helps us to make known the relevance of Jesus and His Church to broken lives. Would you please prayerfully consider sending a donation?
Send your check to:
His Way Out Ministries, 1412 17th Street, Suite 313, Bakersfield, CA 93301
(Checks should be made payable to His Way Out Ministries)
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Other ways you can help:
- Add His Way Out Ministries to your prayer list.
- Ask your pastor to check out our website.
- Tell your friends about His Way Out Ministries and encourage them to visit this web site.
- Encourage your pastor to consider hosting a seminar or inviting His Way Out Ministries to speak at your church.
- Ask your church to consider adding His Way Out Ministries to its missions budget.
- Show our teaching DVD or Video: "Homosexuality and the Reality of Change" to your Sunday School class.
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Our Office and Support Groups Have Moved!
New Office Location
We have moved! For some time, His Way Out Ministries has been in need of additional office space for the daily facilitation of our ministry and room to grow. As a result, we have relocated our office to downtown Bakersfield, the Haberfelde Building, 1412 17th Street, Suite 313, Bakersfield, CA 93301. Our new phone number is (661) 321-9551.
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All of us at His Way Out Ministries remain truly grateful to Brimhall Road Assembly of God for the many, many years of housing our ministry. The congregation's generosity and contributions have been and remain significant.
New Support Group Location
Beginning Saturday, November 1, 2008, all His Way Out Ministries support groups will meet at Chester Avenue Community Church located at 1509 South Chester Avenue (corner of Ming Avenue and South Chester Avenue). Chester Avenue Community Church has been an integral part of His Way Out Ministries from our beginning and has graciously offered their facilities for the expansion and facilitation of our support groups. We are very grateful!
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Make Us One! Exodus International Freedom Conference
July 14-18, 2009 - Wheaton, IL
The International Freedom Conference is Exodus' largest annual gathering where nearly 1,000 people impacted by homosexuality unite together for five powerful days of worship, teaching, and ministry. For individuals struggling with or affected by homosexuality, the conference promises to be a life-changing experience where you will find real answers, hope, and freedom. Pastors, ministry leaders, counselors, educators, and seminary students are also invited to attend this one of a kind conference to learn more about how to minister biblical truth and grace to a world impacted by homosexuality.
For more information about the conference or to register your attendance, please visit Exodus Freedom Conferences or call (888) 264-0877.
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Pastor Phillip Lee LIVE at UBC
On Sunday, October 10, 2007, Pastor Phillip Lee spoke to the congregation of University Baptist Church on the subject What Does the Bible Say About Homosexuality?
You can Listen LIVE to the 6.2 MB, 36min, MP3 at this link.
Give it a few moments to begin downloading and it will play. Windows 95/98 users make sure your Windows Media Player (or other MP3 software) is up to date. Right-click and choose "Save Target As..." to save it on your computer. (If Internet Explorer attempts to save as .mpga you can change it to an .mp3 file type.) You can then play it later or copy it to any MP3 portable player.
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Dear His Way Out Ministries...
"Such a ministry you share - gatherers may indeed be few, but the yield is precious to God indeed. So much in His Word speaks to His flock which you tend so well. Carry on!" - Missions Board, First Presbyterian Church, Bakersfield, CA
"I am blessed by the great work you are doing for the Lord in His Kingdom. I pray God continues to use you to reach many people with the Gospel. I would love to be part of your ministry here in Kenya." - Rev.Wycliffe Wakhungu, Kenya, East Africa
"Thanks so much for sharing with the students at Azusa Pacific University once again. Each time the students have been blessed and equipped with the truth of the Gospel as it relates to freedom from homosexuality." - Professor Steve Wentland, Azusa Pacific University, Azusa, CA
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Video: Homosexuality and the Reality of Change
Homosexuality and the Reality of Change presents a biblical perspective on the homosexual behavior with honesty and compassion. The 50 minute video contains information on: Can Homosexuals Really Change?, Will the Person Become Heterosexual?, How Long Does Change Take?, Exposing the Roots of Homosexuality, HIV and AIDS, Biblical and Scientific Evidence for Change, and much, much more.
This video is an excellent resource for teachers, churches, pastors, support group leaders, or anyone desiring a clear, comprehensive understanding of homosexuality.
The Good News of Jesus Christ and His love, acceptance, and forgiveness, His power to heal and restore has brought hope to many struggling with homosexuality. If you know someone struggling with same-gender attractions Homosexuality and the Reality of Change can help.
Videos are available on VHS or DVD at a cost of $20.00. To order your video...give us a call today.
We recently received, and watched, the video you sent us. It was excellent. We will be sharing it with other people at our church. One part that especially ministered to us was when Pastor Lee said from Philippians 1:6 that God is never going to give up His job of working in our life to conform us to the image of Christ. It helps makes sense of life's trials. Thank you for your ministry...Tom & Catherine
Preview "Homosexuality and the Reality of Change"
2min 38sec, 1.3MB, QT.mov
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What's Coming Up?
Maintaining and Restoring Sexual Purity Discipleship Series
June 6th - "Surviving Sex Abuse" - How does one trust again after being sexually abused? Is it possible to resolve the self-loathing and self-judgments that often accompany sexual abuse?, Forgiveness is not saying that what was done was okay.
June 20th - "Sexual Addiction" - What is sexual addiction and how does it operate? How is the cycle of sexual addiction broken?, Only God can help a person overcome sin.
"Maintaining and Restoring Sexual Purity" is available to men and women that struggle with sexual and relational brokenness (heterosexual and homosexual), wives whose marriage has been impacted by pornography, adultery, or homosexuality, and parents rebounding from the shock and dismay of a child or loved one involved in homosexuality.
If you are tired of fighting the battle alone, ready to take some major steps toward sexual purity, or you would like to become more versed in helping someone struggling with sexual and relational brokenness, make plans to join us on June 6th and June 20th for "Maintaining and Restoring Sexual Purity." All meetings are held at Chester Avenue Community Church, 1509 South Chester Avenue, Bakersfield, CA. For more information, please contact His Way Out Ministries at (661) 321-9551. There is no fee for the teaching, discipleship, and support group series. All teaching materials are provided.
"Maintaining and Restoring Sexual Purity" is available to men and women that struggle with sexual and relational brokenness (heterosexual and homosexual), wives whose marriage has been impacted by pornography, adultery, or homosexuality, and parents rebounding from the shock and dismay of a child or loved one involved in homosexuality.
If you are tired of fighting the battle alone, ready to take some major steps toward sexual purity, or you would like to become more versed in helping someone struggling with sexual and relational brokenness, make plans to join us on May 2nd and May 16th for "Maintaining and Restoring Sexual Purity." All meetings are held at Chester Avenue Community Church, 1509 South Chester Avenue, Bakersfield, CA. For more information, please contact His Way Out Ministries at (661) 321-9551. There is no fee for the teaching, discipleship, and support group series. All teaching materials are provided.
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IT'S ABOUT LIFE
Food Ministry to Those Impacted by AIDS
AIDS profoundly impacts one's life whether that person has been infected by it or they are a family member or a friend of someone who has. The social stigmas, fears and especially the "aloneness" associated with AIDS makes it oppressive to live with. "IT'S ABOUT LIFE" is a crucial part of His Way Out Ministries. Because His Way Out Ministries is committed to compassionately communicating God's heart through a caring Christian community, His Way Out Ministries will be a receiving house for non-perishable food items. This will assist those with AIDS to maintain a balanced diet and good nutrition. Two major considerations in food donations for folks with AIDS are speed and ease of preparation. An appetite sometimes doesn't last long and the item has to be readily accessible and speedily prepared for the patient to be able to enjoy it.
We invite churches, companies, ministries, corporations, individuals, and the entire City of Bakersfield to join with us in caring. Offer your support by donating the below listed items.
| Canned tuna | Canned soups |
| Canned ravioli | Canned pasta products, e.g.Spaghettio's |
| Hamburger Helper | Peanut butter |
| Hamburger Helper | Peanut butter |
| Jams and jellies | Breakfast cereals |
| Breakfast bars | Fruit cocktail |
| Canned peaches | Top Ramen |
| Cup o' Noodle soups | Canned potatoes |
| Canned corn | Macaroni and cheese mixes |
| Rice 'o Roni type mixes | Chili beans |
| Tomato paste, Tomato sauce | Spaghetti sauce |
| Potted meats | Canned stews |
| Instant potato mixes, e.g., scalloped | Instant oatmeal variety packs |
| Kleenex | Paper towels |
| Toilet paper | Popsicles (not frozen) |
| Instant breakfast drinks | Spaghetti |
His Way Out Ministries is located in The Haberfelde Building in downtown Bakersfield, California; 1412 17th Street, Suite 313. Items will be distributed in cooperation with other outreaches in our community. This is a continuous, on-going ministry. For further information, please call (661) 321-9551. God Bless You for your giving.
His Way Out Ministries Services
- Consultations
- Family Support Group
- Individual Prayer Ministry
- "Time Out" Discipleship Series
- Ministry Support Network
- Speakers available to address Christian groups
- "Moving On" Advanced/Closed Support Groups
- "It's About Life" Ministry to Those Impacted by AIDS
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