Homosexuality always seems to be a problem someone else will face until it comes knocking on your personal front door. When it does, the pain is excruciating…especially, for parents. How well I remember, to this day, when I told my mother I was homosexual. She hit the kitchen floor – literally.
It is an undeniable fact that grief changes us. Each and every one of us come out of any number of tragedies as different persons than we were before. We can come out stronger and hopefully much more understanding of the problems of others, or we can come out very cynical.
For Christian parents, in particular, wading through the tsunami of emotions that accompany the announcement of, “Mom, Dad, I’m gay!” are all but encircled in, “Where do we go from here?”
Mom, Dad, first and foremost remember that you are a child of God, and He has plans to “prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” He has promised to be with you always, no matter what kind of calamity or mud pit you find yourself in. That said, at first, it is hard to believe His promise(s).
Give yourself permission to wade through the myriad of real and genuine emotions. Today, with so much of society and the church being dysfunctional, it is often no small task in being comfortable with owning our feelings. Tragically, some Christian parents with gay-identified children have been told, “Don’t cry,” or, “You shouldn’t feel that way.” Good grief. Where do we get this stuff?
It is in God’s waiting room, reality is faced with the knowing that in some respects life just may never be quite the same again. The challenge? To look through the eyes of faith which enables the acceptance of the present reality and ultimately produces, “What now, Lord?” rather than, “Why?” In other words, hold on to God’s promises.
Indeed, loving a wayward child the way God loves them means loving them unconditionally. It also means accepting the truth and reality that only God can bring about the change in them you hope and pray to witness. It wasn’t until many years down the road of a new life in Christ Jesus that my mother shared with me…”You don’t know how many times in prayer I got in the enemy’s face and said ‘I don’t care what he has done or even how many times he has done it, in Jesus’ Name, devil, you can’t have him any more!'” Watch out for the prayers of Mama.
Choose today to “act” rather than “react” to the unwanted circumstance that has come into your life. In doing so, God’s waiting room door will become open for you to share your problem, your legitimate concern, with a few who can encourage you spiritually. They may not know a lot about homosexuality. They may not have ever experienced this kind of thing themselves, but if they are compassionate people, they can give you a great deal of emotional support and nurturing.
Right now, you need and deserve all the help you can get. Your son or daughter will do his or her own thing until they come back to their senses. Letting go or praying a prayer of relinquishment for your child into Jesus’ Hands is the absolute hardest part. Remember the values you have built into your child. Love your child enough to put him or her fully in God’s hands while remembering you have a life also.
And, remember, while in God’s waiting room, because Jesus is there with you, life has any and all infinite possibilities.
The storms of life will undoubtedly do everything they possibly can to rip apart the hope we have in Christ Jesus. However, God’s amazing grace is always there for each and everyone of us to draw upon when we remember to do so.
Today, we each have our own personalized waiting room. As we seek and wait upon Him with all our hearts, the circumstances in life just don’t have a chance. Ultimately, behind each circumstance, each question and each answer stands the only One who can really help any of us. Truly, God only knows.
Pastor Phillip Lee
His Way Out Ministries
Member of Restored Hope Network
“If I profess with the loudest voice and clearest exposition every portion of the truth of God except precisely that little point which the world and the devil are at the moment attacking, the I am not confessing Christ, however boldly I may be professing Christ. Where the battle rages, there the loyalty of the soldier is tested.” Martin Luther