When husbands or wives “come out,” the heterosexual spouse has lost the one person he or she would most hope to turn to. Feelings of isolation, betrayal, and grief are absolutely to be expected – and absolutely too weighty for anyone to carry alone. If your spouse has sworn you to secrecy or you’re trying to avoid embarrassment or shame, you must realize that wrestling with this by yourself is not an option. You must seek support. Your spouse would be selfish to make you promise confidentiality, and the secrecy could be very unhealthy for you. You need to revisit the promise with your spouse; let him or her know you need a sounding board – the compassion of another in whom you can confide. Thankfully, there is hope if you are in this situation. While homosexuality or sexual impurity in a marriage certainly produces a crisis, it may be that with the “secret” becoming known, the marriage has opportunity to survive.

Presently, America is undergoing what I believe is a radical social experiment, the redefining of marriage. Ultimately, it’’s not about whether or not gays and lesbians are nice people or good citizens. Frankly, some are and some aren’t, just like heterosexuals. It’’s not about whether gays and lesbians can be good, nurturing, loving parents. It’’s not even about whether or not gays and lesbians should be treated with respect and dignity. Every person deserves to be treated with respect and dignity.

If we redefine marriage to include same-sex marriage, is there any logical reason for us not to redefine marriage in other ways? There are those that are already “demanding” equality that promote polygamy or group marriage. If marriage can be redefined to include two men or two women, why not allow marriage between a man and four women, or a group of six or seven adults and their various children?

Today, a popular error that has been made and continues to be made by many, is the attempt to blur the lines with regard to Christian ethics making “love” an omnipotent spiritual quality which has the power to validate anything that is done in its name. Under this particular line of thinking, one could justify any type of relationship, including those considered unacceptable and incompatible with Christian teaching and conduct.

Is the perceived or even real presence of love the criterion for all relationships? Indeed, God is love – absolutely. But true love has boundaries that protect, guide and show concern for its recipients. Ultimately, showing support for, and more importantly, standing upon The Authority of Scripture “for marriage between one man and one woman” is not intolerant. If so, then nature itself would be intolerant. Marriage was established by God Himself and as a result cannot be redefined by each new generation.

Within the same-sex marriage ‘experiment,’ lesbian mothers are saying that a father is irrelevant to parenting; homosexual fathers say that a mother is irrelevant to parenting. But God says both a mother and a father are relevant to parenting. Is anyone truly serious in suggesting that two men can take the place of a mother’’s love, or two women can equal a dad?

Today, especially in America, the words “intolerant” and “discrimination” are powerful words and often used to squash any opinion about moral behavior. In fact, not only is the demand today to keep our opinions to ourselves as to what people do, the equal demand is to affirm a long list of various lifestyles no matter how questionable or experimental.

Compassion, communication, and care must be exercised with regard to the same-sex marriage experiment. The enormous problem in American society is the frequent usage of our experience as a basis to interpret reality. Far too many think, “I’m having this experience and enjoying it, so God Himself in particular and society as a whole had better jump on-board, get used to it and fit in around with what I’m doing.” Do we as a society really have the right to redefine marriage so it is elastic enough to include any grouping of adults?

In the face of what is arguably one of the most damaging social experiments to ever be attempted in this country, the notion of a family with a father, mother and children, all living under the same roof, appears to be becoming a relic of a bygone era, at least in some quarters.

Gay marriage advocates will tell you that what children really need is “two loving adults in their lives” and that the sex of those adults doesn’t matter – the assumption being that mothers and fathers are interchangeable and optional. Our ultimate preference should always be a family comprised of one father and one mother. We cannot, we must not wrest children from the God-given format of family relationship without considering the possibilities of serious consequences.

Admittedly, a society, a compassionate society should always come to the aid of motherless and fatherless families. That said, a compassionate society should never, ever, intentionally create motherless and fatherless families. And that’’s exactly what the experiment of same-sex marriage does.

Pastor Phillip Lee
Executive Director
His Way Out Ministries

UPDATE 2012.05.14: Published at Opinion > Community Voices > PHILLIP LEE: America’s radical same-sex marriage social experiment

When a family is impacted by homosexuality, parents in particular often become riddled with guilt. This emotion in particular fuels a family’s efforts to remain silent and hide. While we certainly do not promote a family “shouting it from the housetop,” not seeking support, encouragement, and help from those around you, enables isolation which is extremely unhealthy. Allow the Body of Christ to minister to you and pray with you. Do let your child know whom you’ve told and when you’ve told them.

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Frankly, I have never experienced anything quite like what unfolded in Trinidad and Tobago. It can be described as nothing short of astounding. God is good and there is no doubt He engineered the trip in its entirety.

It so happens that one afternoon, Dr. Judith Henry (Hospital Christian Fellowship) and I made a casual stop at Christian Radio Station 98.1 to pick up a CD. No sooner had we stepped inside the radio station than we were ushered from interview to interview to interview which culminated in my recording testimony and why I was in Trinidad and Tobago which became aired frequently all over Trinidad and Tobago. Needless to say, what God enabled at 98.1 greatly helped in promoting the educational seminars while pounding the air waves with, “Yes, freedom from homosexuality in Christ Jesus!”

A full-day training seminar at the San Fernando Open Bible Church was outstanding! With 65 persons in attendance, numerous pastors and Christian leaders from various churches and denominations received instruction and training on such topics as: Reaching Gay Youth, Understanding Homosexuality, The Myths of Homosexuality, and The Church and Homosexuality.

Dr. Judith Henry and Dr. David Jackson (Hospital Christian Fellowship) sensitized all those in attendance to the overwhelming need and reality that it is the Church’s responsibility and privilege to facilitate ex-gay ministry throughout Trinidad and Tobago; a message that was overwhelmingly well received. Maria Branford offered a remarkable presentation on understanding “gender,” and the developing crisis with regard to how “gender” is being redefined. I was completely unaware that a free-lance reporter was in attendance for the training. Ultimately, he asked if he could tape an interview to be presented to all of the local television stations in Trinidad and Tobago for viewing and distribution.

Following the training seminar, a “Jubilee Celebration,” the likes of which Trinidad and Tobago has never seen, occurred in a huge stadium with thousands of people coming from all over Trinidad and Tobago “just to worship God.” No preaching, no teaching – just “worship.” I was blessed beyond measure as I looked around at a sea of humanity and became consumed with one thought, “Yes, Lord, this is indeed how it should be.” I will sing of your love and justice; to you, O Lord, I will sing praise. (Psalm 101:1) And, wouldn’t you know it, the free-lance reporter spotted me out of thousands and handed me a DVD of the training seminar, fully packaged and presented.

For years Tobago has been called “The Isle of Robinson Crusoe,” the perfect tropical island that captivates its visitors. Tobago is home to the first protected rain forest in the western hemisphere and its waters teem with life. Add to this the warmth and friendliness of its people and its rich multi-cultural heritage and you have the capital of paradise. My two days in Tobago included meetings with a number of professional people and several pastors, a one-day training seminar, and an incredible meeting with the Chief Secretary of Tobago.

Thankfully and gratefully, a number of pastors expressed their desire to network with His Way Out Ministries for the purpose of educating and training members of their congregation with regard to ex-gay ministry. The full, one-day training seminar included individuals that attended for the express purpose of learning how to better reach and minister to the vast, enormous, and virtually untouched mission field called “the gay community.” From beginning to end, all seminar participants were fully engaged in the presentation and expressed many questions about homosexuality which enabled an upfront and personal format and setting. Ultimately, those in attendance had one final question, “When is the next training?”

Without a doubt, my meeting with the Chief Secretary was both a humbling and productive experience. I found it truly remarkable the Chief Secretary frequently expressed his belief that it is the Church’s responsibility and privilege to offer ministry to those with unwanted same-gender attraction. He emphasized, “The Church can and must do more to help individuals, families and churches impacted by homosexuality and related issues.” Ultimately, I found myself often thinking – we couldn’t be more on the same page. At the closing of our meeting, the Chief Secretary extended his hand and said, “The Lord bless you and please continue this vitally important work!”

One day, Dr. Judith Henry and I met for an hour and a half with the Ministry of Education Curriculum Director. We had the opportunity to share our concern that young impressionable minds, hearts and spirits within the public school system here in Trinidad and Tobago are not being shared the truth with regard to homosexuality. Presently, any and all information that
students are receiving about “gay” comes entirely from the media and, more specifically, American television. Got the picture? We left an abundance of literature with the Director and she seemed eager for continued dialog and the possibility of educating “teachers” on the complexities of homosexuality.

An evening meeting provided the privilege of meeting with the Leadership of TTACC (Trinidad and Tobago Association of Christian Counselors). Frankly, I think they “wanted to check out this guy named Phillip Lee and what does he teach?” Thankfully, our web site answered the overwhelming majority of their questions and we quickly moved into discussing and planning training events for approximately 400 counselors within their network. At this point, we are looking at the trainings to be held this coming October 2012 when I return to Trinidad and Tobago. Amazing!

Trinidad and Tobago is one of the most cosmopolitan countries in the world. Since the arrival of Amerindian tribes more than ten thousand years ago, this twin-island Caribbean nation has become a melting pot of different races, traditions, customs and religions. European colonizers and settlers from Africa, India, China and the Middle East, have all influenced its diverse and unique culture.

No greater witness to the blend of a unique culture was the last two days which provided opportunity to share teaching and testimony in two schools. With several hundred young men and young ladies in assembly, Dr. Judith Henry and I had the wonderful opportunity to share about freedom from homosexuality in Christ Jesus and offer HIV/AIDS awareness as well to the
student body. Their attentiveness to everything we shared was nothing short of remarkable with many of the students asking for continued information and education.

Maria Branford, Dr. Judith Henry and I, shared at an all-girl school with 600 young ladies attending the two-hour session. Maria once again shared her expertise and highly educational information regarding “understanding one’s gender.” Dr. Henry offered an outstanding presentation regarding the push for gay civil rights in Trinidad and Tobago and I had yet one more opportunity to share testimony and biblical teaching regarding God’s divine intent for human sexuality.

The attentiveness of the young ladies was amazing. It was undeniable the young ladies simply could not get enough information. Even after the session concluded, many of the students remained wanting to ask questions and continue the dialog. I will never, ever forget their facial expressions. The sincere, genuine interest with regard to the session topics was undeniably visible and when I shared the His Way Out Ministries web site address, I could not help but notice how many jotted the address down and made sure they wrote in down correctly before leaving the assembly hall. Just as we were beginning to wrap things up, I received a tap on my shoulder. As I turned around, a delightful young lady said, “Pastor Lee, may I share something with you?” My response? “Please.” She stated, “Pastor Lee, I believe you had to go through those 17 years of ‘gay’ so God could bring you out of that identity, out of that behavior, and out of that community, to bring you here to Trinidad and Tobago and share the truth about homosexuality to us here in Trinidad and Tobago.” I was more than touched and moved. God is good.

During my last evening in Trinidad and Tobago, we all had the opportunity to share over dinner, all of the wonderful, incredible and astounding things our Lord accomplished during the three-week journey. To God be the glory! I will forever be grateful to everyone at Hospital Christian Fellowship for their unbelievable hospitality and phenomenal attention to detail which produced such a highly organized and productive missionary trip. I do recall at one point stating, “Isn’t this trip just incredible!” Dr. Judith Henry responded with, “Well, should we really be all that surprised at what God has done? A multitude of people have been praying.” Indeed!

Hospital Christian Fellowship has done and continues to do an outstanding job in rallying The Church regarding the issue of homosexuality in their nation while seeking to minister to those within The Church, and the community at large, with the Truth of Scripture, the power of testimony and the dialog of issues.

This is not only a very critical time for Trinidad and Tobago but for the entire Caribbean. I believe all Christians are absolutely called to minister with grace and equally called to be completely faithful to God’s absolute truth. Therefore, in dealing with homosexuality, whether here in America or the Caribbean, and the many related issues, it means The Church must oppose the gay rights movement’s social and political agendas because of the call of God’s truth, while remembering each individual who faces same-sex orientations and practices remains a person who deserves the ministry of God’s grace.

I will be returning to the Caribbean in June 2012. Please remember the Caribbean in prayer at this very pivotal and critical juncture. It is quite possible (and from a Christian perspective, obligatory) to object to homosexual practice, and yet treat individuals with the respect and dignity they deserve. Neither truth nor love is homophobic. Therefore, responses to homosexuality which bear these qualities can never be homophobic. Ultimately, a society, any society, which seeks to base its public policy upon truth and love, will gain one of the most precious of social virtues – justice.

Pastor Phillip Lee
Executive Director
His Way Out Ministries

© copyright His Way Out Ministries

“Thank you for sharing your experiences, knowledge and time with us. It was greatly appreciated. May God richly bless and keep you.” Laventille Open Bible Church, Port of Spain, Trinidad

“Just thought you might be interested to know, the ladies from my bible study will be hosting a Tulare County Christian Women’s Conference here in Porterville with the theme Battle For Your Family. I’ll be giving a presentation on The Alternative Lifestyle – Homosexuality. Much of the information came from His Way Out Ministries. I just wanted to keep you informed of how God is using all the information that I gleaned from HWOM over the years.” Becky Bay, Porterville, CA.

To be honest, it seems that regardless of how much time has gone by, too often my past does it’s best to enable huge amounts of regret and pain to surface – even now, some twenty-five years down the road of being a Christian and same-gender attraction no long being an issue. Frankly, it does seem just a bit unfair. I suppose to some degree that shouldn’t be all that surprising when you still remember clearly words being hurled at you like: fag, queer, sissy, pansy, and gay.

Tragically, even today, many men and women struggling with homosexuality or lesbianism continue to be viewed and labeled as the most sinful, and the most despised. Is it any wonder the homosexual community devised a powerful and dramatic paradigm to win public approval and acceptance in doing their utmost to convince the world they were created with an unchangeable sexual orientation?

While memories can be painful, they can also be strangely wonderful. More and more, I find myself regularly reflecting on just how gracious God has truly been to me. In many respects, it’s as though my eyes opened fully. I know, I know. Some times I’m a bit slow, but I’m still worth waiting for!

Admittedly, there are times when I still find myself riding the emotional roller coaster of being HIV positive. However, I have been challenged to really live life to its fullest, to embrace the wonders of life and the possibilities God has to offer. To date, I have been places, met people, and done things that most men and women will only dream of doing and experiencing.

Yes, I have been up and down the sliding scale of wondering what news or disappointing test results would send me wondering – “Where do we go from here God?” I have known and know the overwhelming love, encouragement and support of friends, family and partners in ministry, had the privilege of witnessing God’s restoration and healing power at work in many lives, shared the Gospel and love of God with hundreds and thousands of people through the power of testimony and teaching, seen the establishment of ex-gay ministry in Guyana, South America and the Caribbean, and have every need met in my life. Not too bad for someone who thought his life was over in January of 1993 when diagnosed with HIV. Yes, God has been good to me and it really has been through the tests and trials of life that God has refined and brought healing and closure to much of my past. Yes, would I, like so many others, like to “go back” and have a second chance at doing some things over? You bet ‘cha! While that is not possible, I have found that some memories do at least fade with time. Also, a person can hasten their demise by choosing not to dwell on them or seeking avenues to reinforce them.

The lies of our past must be replaced with the truth of God’s Word. It’s not just the reading of God’s Word but the application that enables a man or woman to discover the reality of God’s love for us as individuals and His desire to forgive us for all sin – including homosexual thoughts and actions. The wonderful truth’s contained in the Bible, when acted upon daily in our lives, can and will profoundly change the way we see our past and serve as a compass for our future.

Trust me – there was a time when my entire identity was wrapped up in homosexuality. However, when I became a Christian some twenty-five years ago, I found my true identity would never be found by looking backward to my past or toward my sexuality. Past events, regardless of how many or to any degree, do not have to control us forever. Although the process of healing from the past may take much time and effort, it is entirely possible to find inner release and freedom.

I never thought I would be free from some of the haunting memories of my past. While I can still recall certain events, in many respects it’s as though they happened to someone else. I thank God I am free from the power of my past; my past no longer controls my life. With God’s help, the kind of freedom remains available today to any man or woman.

God desires that we all live free from the harmful effects of our past. Free to love and serve Him with purpose and full of hope, joy and expectation for the future.

“What would have become of me had I not believed that I would see the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living! Wait and hope for and expect the Lord: be brave and of good courage and let your heart be stout and enduring. Yes, wait for and hope for and expect the Lord.” Psalm 27:13-14 (Amplified)

Memories? Yes! However, I choose to view them as a steppingstone rather than a stumbling block. Right now, the view from where I sit looks pretty dog-gone good!

From All of Us at His Way Out Ministries…

To each of you who continually bless us by your encouragement, ministry participation monthly financial support, offerings and prayers…we remain truly grateful!

Pastor Phillip Lee
Executive Director
His Way Out Ministries

© copyright His Way Out Ministries

Ultimately, their homosexuality is not our main concern – or, at least, it should not be the primary concern. The state of their souls is. And if the Gospel is something they’re not interested in, we, The Church, needn’t feel obligated to argue over sexual matters with people who have no interest in such an argument. We see no reason why a Christian should automatically target a gay friend or co-worker as an object of reformation. “As much as possible,” Paul said, “live at peace with all men.” (Romans 12:18)

The Christian Church is perhaps the last organization that continues to promote values which forbid homosexual practice. Frankly, gay militants know that, and that makes The Church an important target. Heaven knows, there has been and there remains tactics specifically designed and intended to frighten The Church into either changing our views or never expressing them. If we allow ourselves to become so frightened, so intimidated, we will deserve the displeasure of God and the spiritual impotence we will surely find ourselves in.

However, history clearly shows that persecution has traditionally strengthened The Church. Maybe, just maybe, the onslaught of gay rights and gay militancy will unite The Church in ways unthinkable until now. Hmmm! What a concept.

The Church remains the Body of Christ. It has a message of redemption that can come from no where else. It is also, the last hope and refuge for the homosexual struggler. How do you witness to a gay-identified person? Remember, the goal of The Church is not to make “straights out of gays.” It is to preach the Gospel, and there’s no reason or exception to that rule.

If you believe in an all-powerful God, the most obvious answer to this question is “Yes!”

1 Corinthians 6 spells this out clearly when it proclaims that true freedom for homosexuals can be found in that one four-letter, life-giving word found in the first phrase of verse 11: “and this is what some of you were.” Therefore, there is biblical evidence and hope for change. But whether a homosexual desiring change seeks his or her answer in psychological studies or in the undeniable truth of the Bible, the person must be highly motivated and “hold unswervingly to the hope we profess, for He who promised is faithful.” (Hebrews 10:23)

On March 8th, I will depart for my third trip to Trinidad and Tobago at the invitation of Hospital Christian Fellowship (HCF). The intent and focus of my three-week stay in Trinidad and Tobago is to continue to raise awareness, educate, and encourage the Body of Christ to minister to those who struggle with homosexuality. Utilizing workshops, media opportunities, meetings with dignitaries, sharing in schools, teaching in churches and meeting with pastors of various churches and denominations, is all part of the three-week period with each and every venue dedicated solely to the birthing and facilitation of ex-gay ministry.

Thankfully and gratefully, over the years, I have been favored by God to both meet and share personal testimony with dignitaries in Guyana, Jamaica and Trinidad and Tobago. I vividly recall my meeting with the Governor General of Jamaica.
A meeting that was to have been 15 minutes at most, became 2-hours of sharing about freedom from homosexuality in Christ and ex-gay ministry. To this day, I remember the Governor General making this statement – “Please, my country
needs this kind of ministry. Will you help us?”

Not long ago, during a trip to Trinidad and Tobago, I had the privilege of meeting and talking with the Mayor of Port of Spain in Trinidad and Tobago. Actually, the Mayor attended a gathering sponsored by Hospital Christian Fellowship with the purpose of sensitizing the Church regarding the concern of homosexuality in their nation and also to blaze a trail for ex-gay ministry to be birthed in Trinidad and Tobago.

In Guyana, Operation Restoration, a local Guyanese ministry that His Way Out Ministries has partnered with for many, many years, sponsored an unbelievable event at the National Library to raise awareness regarding the need of ex-gay ministry in their nation. The event was phenomenal with standing room only. Ex-gay ministry is now flourishing in Guyana due to the dedication and tenacity of Operation Restoration.

Why am I communicating all the above? The Caribbean is ripe for ex-gay ministry planting and development. Ultimately, His Way Out Ministries believes wholeheartedly we are called to this part of God’s creation. Obviously, ex-gay ministry is more than just professional for me. Indeed, it’s personal.

I am a little over 25 years down the road of a new life in Christ. Specifically, 25 years of freedom from homosexuality. To God be the glory! Over these many years, I have shared my testimony of not only freedom from homosexuality but God’s sustaining power regarding my journey of being HIV positive. My health condition is a huge, potent part of my personal journey and story. A part
that I cannot withhold.

A few years ago, I had the privilege of being a delegate at the Prescription for Hope Conference held in Washington DC and sponsored by Samaritan’s Purse. The Conference was the vision of Franklin Graham (a personal hero) to bring the Church together to address the global crisis of AIDS. Franklin Graham believes as I do, Christian ministries need to mobilize support, and encourage the Church
worldwide to reach out to a world crying out for hope. It so happens that one day at the Conference, I am stepping off an elevator with Franklin Graham waiting to step into the elevator. He noticed my Conference name badge and asked if he could speak with me. Like I was going to say “No.”? He asked where I was from and why I was at the Conference? I shared my concern regarding the pandemic of AIDS and I also had a personal interest in attending the Conference. That statement led him to ask – “Personal interest?”

We sat for some time and I shared about my HIV positive status and the journey it had been. I will never, ever forget his attentiveness and genuine interest.
Ultimately, we ended our conversation with Franklin making this statement – “Please, please share your story.”

So, here we are many years down the road with God once again opening incredible doors of ministry – both locally and in the Caribbean. Admittedly, I am more than humbled by the wonderful people I have met and the unbelievable opportunities God has enabled for me to be a witness for Christ.

In ministry, especially ex-gay ministry, there are always risks. However, when we risk nothing – we risk even more. Please know I am purposed to first and foremost honor Christ upon my arrival in Trinidad and Tobago until I ultimately return to the States on March 29th.

Your prayers for the trip to Trinidad and Tobago would be greatly appreciated. I will look forward to sharing a trip report on my return.

From All of Us at His Way Out Ministries…

To those of you who do support us prayerfully and financially, we continue to thank you. Your generosity continues to enable His Way Out Ministries to reach out to the many thousands of people that it does while greatly encouraging us also. You make it possible for us to bring the healing power of Jesus Christ to the many seeking a way out of homosexuality.

Pastor Phillip Lee
Executive Director
His Way Out Ministries

© copyright His Way Out Ministries

Why should ministry to a gay person be approached any differently from ministry to anyone else? Remember, “while we were still sinners, Christ died for us” (Romans 5:8). Jesus didn’t need you to stop sinning before He accepted you. Christ wants each of us to come to a saving knowledge of Him first and foremost. We must never forget that Christ doesn’t want your friend’s homosexuality anymore than He wants our gossip or anger or pride. He wants your friend’s heart every bit as much as he wants your heart. Also, remember that introducing them to Christ isn’t the end of your calling. The Lord directs us to “go and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, and teaching them to obey everything I have commanded you” (Matthew 28:19). Trust the Holy Spirit to make them aware of His truth as you help them get established in their new relationship with their newly found Savior, Lord, and Friend.

On February 7, 2012 when the U.S. 9th Circuit Court of Appeals ruled that Proposition 8 – which banned same-sex marriage in California – violated the U.S. Constitution, newspapers all over America offered considerable articles detailing the pro-gay agenda’s accomplishment.

The pressure to affirm same-sex marriage has been and continues to be relentless. We are bombarded by the media, from some politicians and certainly from the pro-gay agenda camp themselves who plead and argue for everyone to see their point of view.

When same-sex marriages are legalized, religious freedom will have to give way to constitutional law. Personally, I am already hearing – “All people have a constitutional right to marriage, in whatever gender arrangement they desire; the Church, therefore, is breaking the law in denying people their constitutionally guaranteed rights.”

Is it true the pro-gay agenda, if taken to its full extreme, will certainly seriously inhibit the Church? Is gay marriage just a matter of civil rights? Is same-sex marriage just one more of those issues that we should learn to tolerate in a free and open society?

While the word “marriage” is being redefined, we as a Christian community seem to be asleep, maybe believing there is not much we can do, given the moral climate of our times. However, the simple fact is that if we are not salt and light now, then when?

I would be the first to admit there is no quick fix to stop the advancement toward same-sex marriages. But we, The Church, can still have impact. Indeed, there are many viewpoints on to what extent Christians should engage in the political arena. Some believe that Jesus completely ignored the political and we should follow His example. Others believe that we as Christians are obligated to affect the world around us. Whatever we decide to do, our motivation must be one of love rather than to destroy.

Presently, I believe there are two dangers The Church must avoid at this hour. The first is to retreat because we believe that in the end gay marriages will be legalized, and thus “whatever will be will be.” The second danger The Church must avoid is to become so involved in the same-sex marriage debate and crisis that we forget that the primary message we have for the world is that Jesus died on the Cross for sinners. We, The Church, must extend a balance of both truth and grace and we cannot let the present cultural revolution obscure or deny our primary calling.

All Christians are absolutely called to minister with grace, yet we are each called to be completely faithful to God’s absolute truth. Therefore, in dealing with homosexuality and the many related issues, it means The Church must oppose the gay rights movement’s social and political agendas because of the call of God’s truth, while remembering each individual who faces same-sex orientations and practices remains a person who deserves the ministry of God’s grace.

Personally, I wonder what would happen if millions of believers would set aside their schedules to seek God on behalf of this nation regarding same-sex marriage…

Ultimately, I have no doubt The Church will continue to fulfill its responsibility of representing Jesus Christ in the world. Over and over and over again The Church has had to cope in a hostile culture with virtually no freedom. The Church has and will continue to both survive and thrive because The Church is in the hands of Jesus.

Pastor Phillip Lee
Executive Director
His Way Out Ministries
1412 17th Street, Suite 313
Bakersfield, CA, USA 93301
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This book is designed as a reference tool for those who want to know how to help their friends and loved ones who are trapped in sexual sin and brokenness, those who have a calling to lay or professional ministry, those who silently suffer with their own personal struggle over sexual sin and brokenness, and those who want a biblical approach, from someone who has been there!

Sexual Healing: God’s Plan for the Sanctification of Broken Lives is available from Mastering Life Ministries. And check out the video The David Kyle Foster Story: Hollywood Star, Sexual Bondage, Freedom in Christ on the Pure Passion Vimeo Channel.

During my 18 years of ex-gay ministry, I have talked with many men and women dealing with same-gender feelings and attractions. Without exception, each man and each woman experiences and battles many different influences which undeniably heightens the pull of temptation into homosexuality.

More than not, the individual’s first step into homosexual practice involves a breaking down of one’s resistance. That said, I do believe each and every one of us has an inbuilt barrier to any sinful activity. This is our conscience which is the moral law of God Himself written on our hearts (Romans 1:19). This spiritual barrier often keeps a person from gay or lesbian sex, even when they begin to experience same-gender desires. However, the enemy of our soul has his ways and schemes of gradually eroding away this wall of protection.

Without a doubt, one way this has and continues to occur throughout American society is by the constant and continuous exposure to the gay subculture. When our attention is constantly being focused on the homosexual issue through magazines, news broadcasts, newspapers and specials on television, a sin which initially might have created intense repugnance has the potential of evolving to becoming less and less objectionable and ultimately attractive. The initial repulsion can turn to apathy, which has the capability of birthing curiosity. When curiosity makes its home in one’s mind, God’s wall of protection is beginning to crumble.

The lure of the unknown regarding homosexuality has been enough in some cases for the individual to begin wondering, I wonder what homosexuality is really like? This question has the capability of developing into the visualizing of sexual acts which is often aided by the readily available wealth of gay pornography. Once again, when anyone continues to ponder and daydream about same-gender activities, the erosion of one’s wall of resistance crumbles. As an individual that has traveled this road, I vividly recall that my novice and innocent approach to thinking homosexual practice as being exciting and ultimately fulfilling was terribly naïve and I did not consider the realities of what homosexual practice actually enables. The costs of sexual involvement are extreme and no one can anticipate the emotional and spiritual baggage that you drag along with you when you come away from or break away from an immoral relationship or being sexually active and once again embrace abstinence.

Frankly, today, I don’t know if it is at all possible to avoid full, complete sexual stimulation given our present culture – unless of course we hide at home with a bag over our heads. Today sexual stimulation is around every corner – television, movies, magazines and newspapers. Therefore, I do believe an important question to ponder is – Is it a sin to have homosexual or lesbian feelings? Does God condemn an individual for being attracted to other members of the same sex? No, being tempted is not the same as sin. God does not condemn anyone based on our feelings. All men and women experience sexual feelings. All of us experience sexual attractions every day. Married people may be attracted to individuals other than their spouse. Are these feelings sinful?

The Bible distinguishes carefully between such feelings and sin. Inappropriate feelings, in biblical terminology, fit the category of “temptation.” And temptations are not sin. Being sexually attracted to another person is not the same as “committing adultery in your heart” (Matthew 5:28). You have to act on the temptation, either in your mind or body, in order for it to become sin. Hands-down, most men and women struggling with same-gender attraction tend to forget this huge and critically important distinction between temptation and sin. They walk around underneath a black cloud of continual condemnation and thinking that God is disapproving of them because of their same-gender attractions.

All Christians deal with inappropriate sexual feelings and attractions. Frankly, I don’t believe it’s a stretch to say that we are all sexually broken given this fallen world in which we live and the fact that we all combat a sinful nature. Therefore, those that are working toward overcoming homosexuality are not unique; they do not belong in a different subclass than the rest of the Church. For everyone, sexual struggles are part of being human.

Within the Church here in America, I have become increasingly concerned that many have all but dismissed the idea that the devil is a being that most certainly can influence our lives. Scripture clearly and abundantly teaches that Satan is a fallen angel of great power, with direct access to our lives. I believe it is a huge mistake by ignoring his existence especially when Scripture clearly identifies him as a temper “who leads the whole world astray” (1 Thessalonians 3:5, Revelation 12:9). I strongly encourage anyone combating an issue of same-gender attraction to study the passage in Ephesians 6:10-18 which specifically lists the parts of our spiritual armor and challenges everyone to make specific applications with regard to combating and struggling with homosexual thoughts and temptations.

Looking back, I distinctly recall how my attitude and mindset regarding homosexuality was very tentative at first. However, little by little, thoughts and activities regarding homosexual practice as “ok” become more and more reinforced which ultimately enabled me to embrace the gay identity. Now, I understand that I succumbed and fell prey to an unbiblical way of thinking about myself. For Christian men and women, their identity must center around what the Word of God says about them and their relationship with Jesus Christ. Very soon after I surrendered my life to Christ in October of 1985, God clearly showed me that my temptations do not determine my identity. Unfortunately, this is a very, very common and dangerous error especially for Christians who are experiencing same-gender attractions. Our Christian mindset develops slowly but consistently over a long period of time. The Bible refers to this process as “renewing the mind” (Romans 12:2), which I believe is one of the most important principles of attaining significant freedom from both gay and lesbian thoughts and feelings.

Today, I remain alarmed that celibacy or sexual virginity continues to be ridiculed and scorned in American society. Rather than celibacy or sexual virginity being viewed and upheld as an admirable trait, it is too often viewed as old fashioned and even as an embarrassment. Sexual purity is an undeniable, wonderful gift from God. Please do not allow anyone to ever try and convince you that it’s not worth much. Ultimately, when you and I are disobedient or rebellious to the holy boundary lines clearly defined for us within God’s Word, we do not get to choose the consequences that may come our way as a result of our being disobedient. Truly, “obedience is much better than sacrifice” (1 Samuel 15:22).

From All of Us at His Way Out Ministries…
To each of you who continually bless us by your encouragement, ministry participation, monthly financial support, offerings and prayers…we remain truly grateful!

There isn’t anything wrong with a man loving another man or a woman loving another woman, but any sexual expression of that love is clearly and strictly forbidden in God’s Word. Indeed, Scripture teaches that “God is love” (1 John 4:16). However, some have taken the verse, twisted and rewritten the verse to support a behavior that contradicts other verses that have established God’s boundaries regarding sexual expression. In Matthew 19:4-6, Jesus is abundantly clear in stating, “Haven’t you read…that at the beginning the Creator made them male and female, and said, ‘For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh’? So they are no longer two, but one.” Yes, God is love. However, true love has boundaries that not only protect, but guide, and show concern for its recipients.

As an individual that spent many years in the considerable gay communities of Los Angeles, San Francisco, New York City and Bakersfield, I remain concerned regarding the many inaccuracies being offered and reported endeavoring to promote the “gay is good” notion and the civil rights of gay men and women.

Clearly, the pro-gay agenda continues its attempts to change, influence and persuade public opinion that the practice of homosexuality (in any form or to any degree) is all about “civil rights.” Nothing could be further from the truth.

Today, more than ever, many within gay communities around the world now view and classify the conservative Christian who holds to the traditional and scripturally correct view that “the practice of homosexuality is incompatible with Christian teaching and conduct” as being politically incorrect, intolerant and homophobic. Ultimately, the crisis we face today is not about homosexuality or gay rights, but rather a “crisis of truth.” Undeniably, “truth is” and it matters greatly regarding homosexual practice and the promotion of gay civil rights.

“The gay agenda” is a phrase that implies a uniform social and political agenda shared by all homosexuals. It also implies there is something inherently wrong in having an agenda. Both points are untrue. There is great diversity among homosexuals, including political and social diversity. For that reason, no one agenda could be nor is it shared by all homosexuals, although it is fair to say there are some goals — same-sex marriage, acceptance of gays in the military and so on — that are common to the political gay rights movement, even if and when they are not shared by all homosexual people. However, to promote the idea that the gay community is a united front in terms of gay rights or even the word “gay” to denote homosexual practice is inaccurate and an illusion. Around the world there is great, great diversity within gay communities when it comes to the promotion of gay rights and homosexual practice.

Homosexuals, or anyone else for that matter, do not have the right to have no one disagree with them on the morality of homosexuality. Nor do they have the right to be free from “attitudinal discrimination” regarding their sexual orientation. But neither does anyone else have such a right.

Indeed, every citizen has a right to his or her own biases and prejudices, as long as they do not impinge upon the fundamental rights of another person or class. This is what it means to live in a society in which the freedoms of speech, religion (and belief) and privacy are guaranteed. Homosexuals have the right, as do others, to believe that homosexual behavior should be accepted as normal. They do not have the right to have everyone else agree with them.

If you have been following The Bakersfield Californian Newspaper for the past several weeks or so, then you are fully aware of the numerous opinions and articles that have been printed about me and His Way Out Ministries. Articles and opinions that continue to surface primarily on-line and not just within The Bakersfield Californian Newspaper.

In October of 1985, I did not become a Christian to leave homosexuality. I became a Christian because The Gospel made sense. Thankfully, my pastors and numerous brothers and sisters in Christ, immediately instilled in me the command, calling and responsibility of being a witness for Christ, …and you will be my witnesses in Jerusalem…and to the ends of the earth (Acts 1:8). Frankly, it hasn’t been a challenge  since …out of the abundance of the heart, the mouth speaks (Luke 6:45). For me not to share freedom from homosexuality in Christ Jesus would be to deny Christ Himself.

Today, to be opposed to homosexuality has become the sin rather than homosexuality itself. Personally, I remain convinced that given everything that has transpired regarding homosexuality and the many related issues, and everything that continues to unfold given our present “crisis of truth,” we must refuse to be pressured by it all. We must not allow a minority or even a majority to dictate to us, The Church, what our standards will be. Our standards come from a higher authority.

Our present “crisis of truth” has not been about nor is it presently about homosexuality. The true crisis is about The Authority of Scripture and the Lordship of Christ. That said, I would be the first, having done so numerous times, to offer an apology to the gay community on behalf of the Body of Christ for the many ways The Church has mishandled the topic of homosexuality in not extending a redemptive hand. The Church must reach out in love and compassion with a message of forgiveness and the extension of grace to those who sin sexually, be it premarital, extramarital or homosexual activity. Those involved in sexual sin may be our brothers and sisters, our sons and our daughters. They need the help of The Church to know and follow God’s plan for bringing their sexuality under the Lordship of Christ.

Admittedly, these past several weeks have been more than intense. I am as human as the next. However, I am grateful the Holy Spirit has continued to show me just how much is at stake.

I will continue to hope and pray that we all will put the Word of God in its proper place. The 138th Psalm says, I will praise your name for your loving kindness and your truth, for you have magnified your word above your name. Obviously, God thinks highly of His name – but He has magnified His Word even above His name – and, so should we all.

Copyright © His Way Out Ministries

How should parents and family members respond to gay loved ones? What does the Bible really say about homosexuality? How do we as a church show love to homosexuals without compromising biblical truth? What about gay rights?

We all found the time to be very meaningfully spent and your personal sharing and commentary on the issue of same-sex attraction, choices involved in terms of adopting a gay identity and pursuing gay life were very helpful in expanding our understanding of these complex issues. Pastor Dave Champness, Senior Pastor, River Lakes Community Church.

Teacher and educator on the complexities of homosexuality, Pastor Phillip Lee, has been addressing churches and conferences within the United States, the Caribbean and South America since 1994. He speaks on a variety of subjects specifically related to Christianity and God’s divine intent for human sexuality, including sexual purity, homosexuality, HIV/AIDS, discipleship, sexual and relational brokenness, and recovery and restoration.

Phillip has also designed seminars and workshops to equip pastors and lay counselors that offer Biblically-based answers as well as practical approaches. Phillip frequently speaks and addresses Sunday morning church services, and is often a guest on television and radio programs.

I was gratified by the degree to which we seem to see and understand these issues in a very similar manner. I am grateful to have gotten to know you and may God richly bless and use you and your ministry in the lives of many. Ian Boyne, Host of Religious Hard Talk, Kingston, Jamaica

Educational Workshops

His Way Out Ministries offers the following Biblically-based training and equipping workshops:

Homosexuality and the Reality of Change
Pastor Phillip Lee, Founder and Executive Director of His Way Out Ministries, brings a wealth of personal, as well as pastoral experience to this workshop. Pastor Lee will share his testimony, as well as discuss the questions: Can homosexuals really change? How long does change take? Will the person become heterosexual? How do I respond to pro-gay arguments?

The Myths of Homosexuality
If you’re like most Christians, you’re puzzled by homosexuality. You want to reach out in some way – but how? The first step is to become knowledgeable. This workshop helps clear up the many misconceptions most Christians have about homosexuality. Is homosexuality the worst of all sins? Is homosexuality genetic? Is homosexuality just a choice? Will marriage really fix a homosexual?

There’s Something I Need To Tell You! (When a Loved One Confesses They Are Homosexual)
What do you say and do when a loved one confesses they are homosexual? This workshop offers practical steps and information to help you understand your loved one, guidance to keep the lines of communication open without compromising your beliefs, and presents the biblical position on homosexuality.

Reaching Gay Youth
While the number of youth embracing homosexuality is alarming, there are many ways in which you can reach them. This workshop centers on why youth should question homosexuality and what role you can play in help bringing that about. What if people think I’m gay? Is there a difference between homosexual temptation and homosexual sin? How do I respond to the ‘born gay’ argument? What is the key to overcoming homosexuality?

Understanding Homosexuality
Is change possible? What causes homosexuality? Does God condemn a person for being attracted to members of their own sex? Is there a difference between homosexual tendencies and a gay identity? What are some of the battles each man and each woman will face in overcoming same-gender attraction? The workshop offers biblical and compassionate responses to homosexuality for parents, pastors, co-workers, a neighbor, or maybe just a good friend.

Homosexuality and the Church
The theological debate over what God’s Word says about homosexuality has become quite a phenomenon. Many concerns and questions must be addressed in churches wishing to reach out to homosexuals and their families. As a pastor, how do I lead our church to effectively love homosexuals? How do I introduce a gay-identified person to Christ? Is there a difference between the terms gay and homosexual? How does my church evaluate if we are handling homosexuality appropriately?

For more information about the above workshops or to schedule an educational workshop at your church, please contact His Way Out Ministries.

The Journey
For Adult Men with Unwanted Same-Gender Attraction
Meetings on the 1st and 3rd Saturday of Each Month – 9am to 11am

Understanding Homosexuality
January 7 – Introduction
January 21 – The Journey Begins
February 4 – The Roots of Male Homosexuality
February 18 – Our Relational Nature
March 3 – Defensiveness & Detachment
March 17 – The Scriptures on Homosexuality
April 7 – God’s Answer to Our Deepest Needs

Knowing God in Our Struggle
April 21 – God’s Message of Hope
May 5 – By Way of The Cross
May 19 – The Marred Image of the Father
June 2 – Idolatry
June 16 – Developing Intimacy with Christ
July 7 – Empowering the Will
July 21 – New Life in Christ

Walking Out the Process
August 4 – The Battle for Our Souls
August 18 – Rejection
September 1 – Forgiveness
September 15 – Reconciliation
October 6 – Temptation
October 20 – Walking in Victory
November 3 – Accountability

In response to the article titled Pro-Life for All by Valerie Schultz, November 11, 2011.

Ms. Schultz concludes her article with “If we believe life is sacred, we must be life’s protectors.” These particular words compelled me to offer a reply since Ms. Schultz has frequently advocated, if not encouraged and validated, homosexual practice or what many refer to as “the gay lifestyle.” As an individual that knows all too well the realities of homosexual practice and combating the HIV virus since January of 1993, I am regularly alarmed by those that promote homosexual practice having never practiced the behavior or lifestyle themselves.

I remain convinced that an appropriate question to consider is: Are the qualities or consequences of homosexuality beneficial or detrimental to individuals? If homosexual behavior is essentially detrimental to an individual thereby greatly threatening the sanctity of life, then society has the responsibility to resist it, and certainly should not endorse it as acceptable.

According to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC), gay, bisexual, and other men who have sex with men (MSM) represent approximately 2% of the US population, yet are the population most severely affected by HIV and are the only risk group in which new HIV infections have been increasing steadily since the early 1990s. In 2006, MSM accounted for more than half (53%) of all new HIV infections in the United States, and MSM with a history of injection drug use (MSM-IDU) accounted for an additional 4% of new infections. At the end of 2006, more than half (53%) of all people living with HIV in the United States were MSM or MSM-IDU. Since the beginning of the US epidemic, MSM have consistently represented the largest percentage of persons diagnosed with AIDS and persons with an AIDS diagnosis who have died.

While AIDS is not solely a homosexual disease, the disease was confined almost exclusively to homosexuals in the beginning years of the epidemic in the United States. I personally witnessed this horrific tragedy unfold while living in San Francisco having several personal friends die of AIDS at the beginning stages of what is now a pandemic. Tragically, the reality and threat of AIDS has not stopped men from engaging in unprotected sex and the continued risk-taking by many does not appear to result from a lack of awareness.

There is, therefore, little to no evidence that homosexual practice can be anything other than a severe threat to the sanctity of life. That said, all efforts should and must continue to better understand and find a cure for AIDS and AIDS-related diseases. However, if the sexual behavior that is fundamental to most homosexual practice constitutes the primary means of transmitting such disease, then it only makes sense for society to do all it can to decrease such behavior which ultimately protects the sanctity of life.

Ms. Schultz states in her article, “Somewhere along the line, the hard work of Jesus to establish the Kingdom of God here on earth got softened.” I couldn’t agree more. Today, maybe more than ever, what matters morally should be determined on the basis of our best understanding about what constitutes human well-being. Those behaviors and lifestyles which promote physical health are to be encouraged, while those which are essentially injurious are to be avoided.

For each and every faithful follower of Christ, all life is sacred and to be celebrated. As society and the Church continues to ascertain the rightness or wrongness of homosexual practice, I will continue to hope and pray that more will consider the undeniable facts regarding the effects of homosexual practice which often greatly impacts if not reduces the longevity and sanctity of life.

Is it possible the reason God has been so specific in His Word about not practicing certain behaviors is because He is doing His utmost to protect us from unseen dangers?

Pastor Phillip Lee
Executive Director
His Way Out Ministries
1412 17th Street, Suite 313
Bakersfield, CA, USA 93301
Email | Website | Vimeo Channel

UPDATE 2011.12.05: Published at Opinion > Community Voices > PHILLIP LEE: ‘Gay lifestyle’ poses threat to people’s physical well-being