Why should ministry to a gay person be approached any differently from ministry to anyone else? Remember, “while we were still sinners, Christ died for us” (Romans 5:8). Jesus didn’t need you to stop sinning before He accepted you. Christ wants each of us to come to a saving knowledge of Him first and foremost. We must never forget that Christ doesn’t want your friend’s homosexuality anymore than He wants our gossip or anger or pride. He wants your friend’s heart every bit as much as he wants your heart. Also, remember that introducing them to Christ isn’t the end of your calling. The Lord directs us to “go and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, and teaching them to obey everything I have commanded you” (Matthew 28:19). Trust the Holy Spirit to make them aware of His truth as you help them get established in their new relationship with their newly found Savior, Lord, and Friend.

On February 7, 2012 when the U.S. 9th Circuit Court of Appeals ruled that Proposition 8 – which banned same-sex marriage in California – violated the U.S. Constitution, newspapers all over America offered considerable articles detailing the pro-gay agenda’s accomplishment.

The pressure to affirm same-sex marriage has been and continues to be relentless. We are bombarded by the media, from some politicians and certainly from the pro-gay agenda camp themselves who plead and argue for everyone to see their point of view.

When same-sex marriages are legalized, religious freedom will have to give way to constitutional law. Personally, I am already hearing – “All people have a constitutional right to marriage, in whatever gender arrangement they desire; the Church, therefore, is breaking the law in denying people their constitutionally guaranteed rights.”

Is it true the pro-gay agenda, if taken to its full extreme, will certainly seriously inhibit the Church? Is gay marriage just a matter of civil rights? Is same-sex marriage just one more of those issues that we should learn to tolerate in a free and open society?

While the word “marriage” is being redefined, we as a Christian community seem to be asleep, maybe believing there is not much we can do, given the moral climate of our times. However, the simple fact is that if we are not salt and light now, then when?

I would be the first to admit there is no quick fix to stop the advancement toward same-sex marriages. But we, The Church, can still have impact. Indeed, there are many viewpoints on to what extent Christians should engage in the political arena. Some believe that Jesus completely ignored the political and we should follow His example. Others believe that we as Christians are obligated to affect the world around us. Whatever we decide to do, our motivation must be one of love rather than to destroy.

Presently, I believe there are two dangers The Church must avoid at this hour. The first is to retreat because we believe that in the end gay marriages will be legalized, and thus “whatever will be will be.” The second danger The Church must avoid is to become so involved in the same-sex marriage debate and crisis that we forget that the primary message we have for the world is that Jesus died on the Cross for sinners. We, The Church, must extend a balance of both truth and grace and we cannot let the present cultural revolution obscure or deny our primary calling.

All Christians are absolutely called to minister with grace, yet we are each called to be completely faithful to God’s absolute truth. Therefore, in dealing with homosexuality and the many related issues, it means The Church must oppose the gay rights movement’s social and political agendas because of the call of God’s truth, while remembering each individual who faces same-sex orientations and practices remains a person who deserves the ministry of God’s grace.

Personally, I wonder what would happen if millions of believers would set aside their schedules to seek God on behalf of this nation regarding same-sex marriage…

Ultimately, I have no doubt The Church will continue to fulfill its responsibility of representing Jesus Christ in the world. Over and over and over again The Church has had to cope in a hostile culture with virtually no freedom. The Church has and will continue to both survive and thrive because The Church is in the hands of Jesus.

Pastor Phillip Lee
Executive Director
His Way Out Ministries
1412 17th Street, Suite 313
Bakersfield, CA, USA 93301
Email | Website | Vimeo Channel

This book is designed as a reference tool for those who want to know how to help their friends and loved ones who are trapped in sexual sin and brokenness, those who have a calling to lay or professional ministry, those who silently suffer with their own personal struggle over sexual sin and brokenness, and those who want a biblical approach, from someone who has been there!

Sexual Healing: God’s Plan for the Sanctification of Broken Lives is available from Mastering Life Ministries. And check out the video The David Kyle Foster Story: Hollywood Star, Sexual Bondage, Freedom in Christ on the Pure Passion Vimeo Channel.

During my 18 years of ex-gay ministry, I have talked with many men and women dealing with same-gender feelings and attractions. Without exception, each man and each woman experiences and battles many different influences which undeniably heightens the pull of temptation into homosexuality.

More than not, the individual’s first step into homosexual practice involves a breaking down of one’s resistance. That said, I do believe each and every one of us has an inbuilt barrier to any sinful activity. This is our conscience which is the moral law of God Himself written on our hearts (Romans 1:19). This spiritual barrier often keeps a person from gay or lesbian sex, even when they begin to experience same-gender desires. However, the enemy of our soul has his ways and schemes of gradually eroding away this wall of protection.

Without a doubt, one way this has and continues to occur throughout American society is by the constant and continuous exposure to the gay subculture. When our attention is constantly being focused on the homosexual issue through magazines, news broadcasts, newspapers and specials on television, a sin which initially might have created intense repugnance has the potential of evolving to becoming less and less objectionable and ultimately attractive. The initial repulsion can turn to apathy, which has the capability of birthing curiosity. When curiosity makes its home in one’s mind, God’s wall of protection is beginning to crumble.

The lure of the unknown regarding homosexuality has been enough in some cases for the individual to begin wondering, I wonder what homosexuality is really like? This question has the capability of developing into the visualizing of sexual acts which is often aided by the readily available wealth of gay pornography. Once again, when anyone continues to ponder and daydream about same-gender activities, the erosion of one’s wall of resistance crumbles. As an individual that has traveled this road, I vividly recall that my novice and innocent approach to thinking homosexual practice as being exciting and ultimately fulfilling was terribly naïve and I did not consider the realities of what homosexual practice actually enables. The costs of sexual involvement are extreme and no one can anticipate the emotional and spiritual baggage that you drag along with you when you come away from or break away from an immoral relationship or being sexually active and once again embrace abstinence.

Frankly, today, I don’t know if it is at all possible to avoid full, complete sexual stimulation given our present culture – unless of course we hide at home with a bag over our heads. Today sexual stimulation is around every corner – television, movies, magazines and newspapers. Therefore, I do believe an important question to ponder is – Is it a sin to have homosexual or lesbian feelings? Does God condemn an individual for being attracted to other members of the same sex? No, being tempted is not the same as sin. God does not condemn anyone based on our feelings. All men and women experience sexual feelings. All of us experience sexual attractions every day. Married people may be attracted to individuals other than their spouse. Are these feelings sinful?

The Bible distinguishes carefully between such feelings and sin. Inappropriate feelings, in biblical terminology, fit the category of “temptation.” And temptations are not sin. Being sexually attracted to another person is not the same as “committing adultery in your heart” (Matthew 5:28). You have to act on the temptation, either in your mind or body, in order for it to become sin. Hands-down, most men and women struggling with same-gender attraction tend to forget this huge and critically important distinction between temptation and sin. They walk around underneath a black cloud of continual condemnation and thinking that God is disapproving of them because of their same-gender attractions.

All Christians deal with inappropriate sexual feelings and attractions. Frankly, I don’t believe it’s a stretch to say that we are all sexually broken given this fallen world in which we live and the fact that we all combat a sinful nature. Therefore, those that are working toward overcoming homosexuality are not unique; they do not belong in a different subclass than the rest of the Church. For everyone, sexual struggles are part of being human.

Within the Church here in America, I have become increasingly concerned that many have all but dismissed the idea that the devil is a being that most certainly can influence our lives. Scripture clearly and abundantly teaches that Satan is a fallen angel of great power, with direct access to our lives. I believe it is a huge mistake by ignoring his existence especially when Scripture clearly identifies him as a temper “who leads the whole world astray” (1 Thessalonians 3:5, Revelation 12:9). I strongly encourage anyone combating an issue of same-gender attraction to study the passage in Ephesians 6:10-18 which specifically lists the parts of our spiritual armor and challenges everyone to make specific applications with regard to combating and struggling with homosexual thoughts and temptations.

Looking back, I distinctly recall how my attitude and mindset regarding homosexuality was very tentative at first. However, little by little, thoughts and activities regarding homosexual practice as “ok” become more and more reinforced which ultimately enabled me to embrace the gay identity. Now, I understand that I succumbed and fell prey to an unbiblical way of thinking about myself. For Christian men and women, their identity must center around what the Word of God says about them and their relationship with Jesus Christ. Very soon after I surrendered my life to Christ in October of 1985, God clearly showed me that my temptations do not determine my identity. Unfortunately, this is a very, very common and dangerous error especially for Christians who are experiencing same-gender attractions. Our Christian mindset develops slowly but consistently over a long period of time. The Bible refers to this process as “renewing the mind” (Romans 12:2), which I believe is one of the most important principles of attaining significant freedom from both gay and lesbian thoughts and feelings.

Today, I remain alarmed that celibacy or sexual virginity continues to be ridiculed and scorned in American society. Rather than celibacy or sexual virginity being viewed and upheld as an admirable trait, it is too often viewed as old fashioned and even as an embarrassment. Sexual purity is an undeniable, wonderful gift from God. Please do not allow anyone to ever try and convince you that it’s not worth much. Ultimately, when you and I are disobedient or rebellious to the holy boundary lines clearly defined for us within God’s Word, we do not get to choose the consequences that may come our way as a result of our being disobedient. Truly, “obedience is much better than sacrifice” (1 Samuel 15:22).

From All of Us at His Way Out Ministries…
To each of you who continually bless us by your encouragement, ministry participation, monthly financial support, offerings and prayers…we remain truly grateful!

There isn’t anything wrong with a man loving another man or a woman loving another woman, but any sexual expression of that love is clearly and strictly forbidden in God’s Word. Indeed, Scripture teaches that “God is love” (1 John 4:16). However, some have taken the verse, twisted and rewritten the verse to support a behavior that contradicts other verses that have established God’s boundaries regarding sexual expression. In Matthew 19:4-6, Jesus is abundantly clear in stating, “Haven’t you read…that at the beginning the Creator made them male and female, and said, ‘For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh’? So they are no longer two, but one.” Yes, God is love. However, true love has boundaries that not only protect, but guide, and show concern for its recipients.

As an individual that spent many years in the considerable gay communities of Los Angeles, San Francisco, New York City and Bakersfield, I remain concerned regarding the many inaccuracies being offered and reported endeavoring to promote the “gay is good” notion and the civil rights of gay men and women.

Clearly, the pro-gay agenda continues its attempts to change, influence and persuade public opinion that the practice of homosexuality (in any form or to any degree) is all about “civil rights.” Nothing could be further from the truth.

Today, more than ever, many within gay communities around the world now view and classify the conservative Christian who holds to the traditional and scripturally correct view that “the practice of homosexuality is incompatible with Christian teaching and conduct” as being politically incorrect, intolerant and homophobic. Ultimately, the crisis we face today is not about homosexuality or gay rights, but rather a “crisis of truth.” Undeniably, “truth is” and it matters greatly regarding homosexual practice and the promotion of gay civil rights.

“The gay agenda” is a phrase that implies a uniform social and political agenda shared by all homosexuals. It also implies there is something inherently wrong in having an agenda. Both points are untrue. There is great diversity among homosexuals, including political and social diversity. For that reason, no one agenda could be nor is it shared by all homosexuals, although it is fair to say there are some goals — same-sex marriage, acceptance of gays in the military and so on — that are common to the political gay rights movement, even if and when they are not shared by all homosexual people. However, to promote the idea that the gay community is a united front in terms of gay rights or even the word “gay” to denote homosexual practice is inaccurate and an illusion. Around the world there is great, great diversity within gay communities when it comes to the promotion of gay rights and homosexual practice.

Homosexuals, or anyone else for that matter, do not have the right to have no one disagree with them on the morality of homosexuality. Nor do they have the right to be free from “attitudinal discrimination” regarding their sexual orientation. But neither does anyone else have such a right.

Indeed, every citizen has a right to his or her own biases and prejudices, as long as they do not impinge upon the fundamental rights of another person or class. This is what it means to live in a society in which the freedoms of speech, religion (and belief) and privacy are guaranteed. Homosexuals have the right, as do others, to believe that homosexual behavior should be accepted as normal. They do not have the right to have everyone else agree with them.

If you have been following The Bakersfield Californian Newspaper for the past several weeks or so, then you are fully aware of the numerous opinions and articles that have been printed about me and His Way Out Ministries. Articles and opinions that continue to surface primarily on-line and not just within The Bakersfield Californian Newspaper.

In October of 1985, I did not become a Christian to leave homosexuality. I became a Christian because The Gospel made sense. Thankfully, my pastors and numerous brothers and sisters in Christ, immediately instilled in me the command, calling and responsibility of being a witness for Christ, …and you will be my witnesses in Jerusalem…and to the ends of the earth (Acts 1:8). Frankly, it hasn’t been a challenge  since …out of the abundance of the heart, the mouth speaks (Luke 6:45). For me not to share freedom from homosexuality in Christ Jesus would be to deny Christ Himself.

Today, to be opposed to homosexuality has become the sin rather than homosexuality itself. Personally, I remain convinced that given everything that has transpired regarding homosexuality and the many related issues, and everything that continues to unfold given our present “crisis of truth,” we must refuse to be pressured by it all. We must not allow a minority or even a majority to dictate to us, The Church, what our standards will be. Our standards come from a higher authority.

Our present “crisis of truth” has not been about nor is it presently about homosexuality. The true crisis is about The Authority of Scripture and the Lordship of Christ. That said, I would be the first, having done so numerous times, to offer an apology to the gay community on behalf of the Body of Christ for the many ways The Church has mishandled the topic of homosexuality in not extending a redemptive hand. The Church must reach out in love and compassion with a message of forgiveness and the extension of grace to those who sin sexually, be it premarital, extramarital or homosexual activity. Those involved in sexual sin may be our brothers and sisters, our sons and our daughters. They need the help of The Church to know and follow God’s plan for bringing their sexuality under the Lordship of Christ.

Admittedly, these past several weeks have been more than intense. I am as human as the next. However, I am grateful the Holy Spirit has continued to show me just how much is at stake.

I will continue to hope and pray that we all will put the Word of God in its proper place. The 138th Psalm says, I will praise your name for your loving kindness and your truth, for you have magnified your word above your name. Obviously, God thinks highly of His name – but He has magnified His Word even above His name – and, so should we all.

Copyright © His Way Out Ministries

How should parents and family members respond to gay loved ones? What does the Bible really say about homosexuality? How do we as a church show love to homosexuals without compromising biblical truth? What about gay rights?

We all found the time to be very meaningfully spent and your personal sharing and commentary on the issue of same-sex attraction, choices involved in terms of adopting a gay identity and pursuing gay life were very helpful in expanding our understanding of these complex issues. Pastor Dave Champness, Senior Pastor, River Lakes Community Church.

Teacher and educator on the complexities of homosexuality, Pastor Phillip Lee, has been addressing churches and conferences within the United States, the Caribbean and South America since 1994. He speaks on a variety of subjects specifically related to Christianity and God’s divine intent for human sexuality, including sexual purity, homosexuality, HIV/AIDS, discipleship, sexual and relational brokenness, and recovery and restoration.

Phillip has also designed seminars and workshops to equip pastors and lay counselors that offer Biblically-based answers as well as practical approaches. Phillip frequently speaks and addresses Sunday morning church services, and is often a guest on television and radio programs.

I was gratified by the degree to which we seem to see and understand these issues in a very similar manner. I am grateful to have gotten to know you and may God richly bless and use you and your ministry in the lives of many. Ian Boyne, Host of Religious Hard Talk, Kingston, Jamaica

Educational Workshops

His Way Out Ministries offers the following Biblically-based training and equipping workshops:

Homosexuality and the Reality of Change
Pastor Phillip Lee, Founder and Executive Director of His Way Out Ministries, brings a wealth of personal, as well as pastoral experience to this workshop. Pastor Lee will share his testimony, as well as discuss the questions: Can homosexuals really change? How long does change take? Will the person become heterosexual? How do I respond to pro-gay arguments?

The Myths of Homosexuality
If you’re like most Christians, you’re puzzled by homosexuality. You want to reach out in some way – but how? The first step is to become knowledgeable. This workshop helps clear up the many misconceptions most Christians have about homosexuality. Is homosexuality the worst of all sins? Is homosexuality genetic? Is homosexuality just a choice? Will marriage really fix a homosexual?

There’s Something I Need To Tell You! (When a Loved One Confesses They Are Homosexual)
What do you say and do when a loved one confesses they are homosexual? This workshop offers practical steps and information to help you understand your loved one, guidance to keep the lines of communication open without compromising your beliefs, and presents the biblical position on homosexuality.

Reaching Gay Youth
While the number of youth embracing homosexuality is alarming, there are many ways in which you can reach them. This workshop centers on why youth should question homosexuality and what role you can play in help bringing that about. What if people think I’m gay? Is there a difference between homosexual temptation and homosexual sin? How do I respond to the ‘born gay’ argument? What is the key to overcoming homosexuality?

Understanding Homosexuality
Is change possible? What causes homosexuality? Does God condemn a person for being attracted to members of their own sex? Is there a difference between homosexual tendencies and a gay identity? What are some of the battles each man and each woman will face in overcoming same-gender attraction? The workshop offers biblical and compassionate responses to homosexuality for parents, pastors, co-workers, a neighbor, or maybe just a good friend.

Homosexuality and the Church
The theological debate over what God’s Word says about homosexuality has become quite a phenomenon. Many concerns and questions must be addressed in churches wishing to reach out to homosexuals and their families. As a pastor, how do I lead our church to effectively love homosexuals? How do I introduce a gay-identified person to Christ? Is there a difference between the terms gay and homosexual? How does my church evaluate if we are handling homosexuality appropriately?

For more information about the above workshops or to schedule an educational workshop at your church, please contact His Way Out Ministries.

The Journey
For Adult Men with Unwanted Same-Gender Attraction
Meetings on the 1st and 3rd Saturday of Each Month – 9am to 11am

Understanding Homosexuality
January 7 – Introduction
January 21 – The Journey Begins
February 4 – The Roots of Male Homosexuality
February 18 – Our Relational Nature
March 3 – Defensiveness & Detachment
March 17 – The Scriptures on Homosexuality
April 7 – God’s Answer to Our Deepest Needs

Knowing God in Our Struggle
April 21 – God’s Message of Hope
May 5 – By Way of The Cross
May 19 – The Marred Image of the Father
June 2 – Idolatry
June 16 – Developing Intimacy with Christ
July 7 – Empowering the Will
July 21 – New Life in Christ

Walking Out the Process
August 4 – The Battle for Our Souls
August 18 – Rejection
September 1 – Forgiveness
September 15 – Reconciliation
October 6 – Temptation
October 20 – Walking in Victory
November 3 – Accountability

In response to the article titled Pro-Life for All by Valerie Schultz, November 11, 2011.

Ms. Schultz concludes her article with “If we believe life is sacred, we must be life’s protectors.” These particular words compelled me to offer a reply since Ms. Schultz has frequently advocated, if not encouraged and validated, homosexual practice or what many refer to as “the gay lifestyle.” As an individual that knows all too well the realities of homosexual practice and combating the HIV virus since January of 1993, I am regularly alarmed by those that promote homosexual practice having never practiced the behavior or lifestyle themselves.

I remain convinced that an appropriate question to consider is: Are the qualities or consequences of homosexuality beneficial or detrimental to individuals? If homosexual behavior is essentially detrimental to an individual thereby greatly threatening the sanctity of life, then society has the responsibility to resist it, and certainly should not endorse it as acceptable.

According to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC), gay, bisexual, and other men who have sex with men (MSM) represent approximately 2% of the US population, yet are the population most severely affected by HIV and are the only risk group in which new HIV infections have been increasing steadily since the early 1990s. In 2006, MSM accounted for more than half (53%) of all new HIV infections in the United States, and MSM with a history of injection drug use (MSM-IDU) accounted for an additional 4% of new infections. At the end of 2006, more than half (53%) of all people living with HIV in the United States were MSM or MSM-IDU. Since the beginning of the US epidemic, MSM have consistently represented the largest percentage of persons diagnosed with AIDS and persons with an AIDS diagnosis who have died.

While AIDS is not solely a homosexual disease, the disease was confined almost exclusively to homosexuals in the beginning years of the epidemic in the United States. I personally witnessed this horrific tragedy unfold while living in San Francisco having several personal friends die of AIDS at the beginning stages of what is now a pandemic. Tragically, the reality and threat of AIDS has not stopped men from engaging in unprotected sex and the continued risk-taking by many does not appear to result from a lack of awareness.

There is, therefore, little to no evidence that homosexual practice can be anything other than a severe threat to the sanctity of life. That said, all efforts should and must continue to better understand and find a cure for AIDS and AIDS-related diseases. However, if the sexual behavior that is fundamental to most homosexual practice constitutes the primary means of transmitting such disease, then it only makes sense for society to do all it can to decrease such behavior which ultimately protects the sanctity of life.

Ms. Schultz states in her article, “Somewhere along the line, the hard work of Jesus to establish the Kingdom of God here on earth got softened.” I couldn’t agree more. Today, maybe more than ever, what matters morally should be determined on the basis of our best understanding about what constitutes human well-being. Those behaviors and lifestyles which promote physical health are to be encouraged, while those which are essentially injurious are to be avoided.

For each and every faithful follower of Christ, all life is sacred and to be celebrated. As society and the Church continues to ascertain the rightness or wrongness of homosexual practice, I will continue to hope and pray that more will consider the undeniable facts regarding the effects of homosexual practice which often greatly impacts if not reduces the longevity and sanctity of life.

Is it possible the reason God has been so specific in His Word about not practicing certain behaviors is because He is doing His utmost to protect us from unseen dangers?

Pastor Phillip Lee
Executive Director
His Way Out Ministries
1412 17th Street, Suite 313
Bakersfield, CA, USA 93301
Email | Website | Vimeo Channel

UPDATE 2011.12.05: Published at Opinion > Community Voices > PHILLIP LEE: ‘Gay lifestyle’ poses threat to people’s physical well-being

Valley Baptist Church, Bakersfield
By invitation of Pastor Jim D’Amato at Valley Baptist Church, Pastor Phillip facilitated a hands-on training workshop for the lay counselors of Valley Baptist Church titled Homosexuality and the Reality of Change. Participants expressed their gratitude and appreciation for the opportunity to address the critically important topic of homosexuality. His Way Out Ministries has been invited back for a second workshop to continue equipping those at Valley Baptist Church on January 22, 2012.

The above quote reflects a statement I have been offered by many youth over the past several months. While I understand the statement and even on some level appreciate the sincerity and honesty, the statement also grieves me as it reflects the desperate crisis that we face with regard to youth struggling with and combating same-gender attraction. To compound the crisis, all of the youth are Christians, each having been raised in Church and reared in a Christian home. Once again, we find “the elephant” in the room that very, very few want to talk about.

When our path crosses with a struggling youth, we need to be open to partnering with the Lord to help turn the tide in his or her life. During adolescence most people determine the morals and personal identity they will embrace for the remainder of their life. Likewise, much confusion and challenges will take place before any semblance of clarity comes. This is all the more true for youth deciding their sexual identity. Studies have shown that vast numbers of youth entering adolescence are uncertain about their sexual orientation, but few exiting the teenage years remain ambiguous. Therefore, the teenage years are a crucial period for the Church of Jesus Christ to speak to youth tempted by homosexuality and educate each young person regarding the Truth of Scripture regarding the practice of homosexuality. Without a doubt, offering a right and true perspective will not only make a difference to a gay youth, it will distinguish Christians quite a bit from others he or she will encounter.

While it is true that the number of teens embracing homosexuality is alarming, that should not minimize nor dismiss the incredible opportunity we have to reach out to gay youth with the message of salvation and sexual redemption through the Lord Jesus Christ and most assuredly challenge the above quote with the Truth of Scripture.

Homosexuality is a symptom of a spiritual and relational problem. Therefore, simply stopping the behavior is not really getting to the root of what is making the person “feel different.” For the Christian trying to minister to a gay youth, consider asking these questions: Does the young person experience a lot of rejection by others? Is the teen uncomfortable with his gender? Does he spurn others of the same sex, refusing to hang out with anyone other than a gay friend? Is the youth afraid of meeting new people, attending social gatherings, etc.? Is she overly critical or fearful of men? Is the teen envious of certain characteristics which others of the same-sex have that he does not? For many trying to reach or reason with a youth struggling with same-gender attraction, the question of “What if people think that I’m gay?” often surfaces. Three words, “Get over it!” Be concerned more with character rather than reputation.

As Christ-followers embracing the truth and totality of Scripture, don’t ever think we have to defend or apologize for what Scripture has clearly said about purity nor must we be enticed to debate or argue with the individual. Recognize it is not really a struggle between “us and them,” it is ultimately between them and the Word of God.

Today, a multitude struggling with various addictions, compulsive behaviors, and habits, are all asking the same question: How long will change take? For any individual, youth or adult struggling with homosexuality, the good news is that homosexual activity may stop as soon as the decision is made to no longer participate. But since homosexual feelings have become closely associated with the youth’s unmet needs, whether real or perceived for emotional intimacy, God most likely will not take away the feelings because He does not take away our needs – instead He helps us meet our needs. The underlying issues that fuel same-gender attraction take time to work through. Herein lies, I believe, why so many youth have become influenced and bought into the notion that even homosexual feelings and desires cannot be resolved. Hence, “I’m just here for you to help me control and manage it,” is often the expectation and attitude of the struggling young person.

It is imperative that we inspire faith in those to whom we minister. In my experience, the ones I have known who have successfully left homosexuality are those who have relinquished control of their lives to the Holy Spirit. Clearly, there is a level of surrender required to resolve any form of sexual and relational brokenness, including homosexuality that many are unwilling to offer. Only God can bring about the changes the youth desires.

While I have met and continue to meet with youth who are determined to resolve the issues of their sexuality, most feel too inadequate, lack motivation and do not have an individual structured in their life to help them through the process of healing and wholeness. Any Christian can emphasize to the hurting that there is hidden need within the heart of everyone that an intimate relationship with God can fill. Reaching gay youth is something we all can do and must do to help searching youth understand God’s abundant plans for their lives and to counteract the pro-gay agenda that desires to ruin all hope for the youth. No one is doomed to be gay, and we may be the only person that will have the courage to share the Good News with a youth struggling with same-gender attraction.

While it is easy enough to become cynical about the times in which we live, remember when God is put in the equation of life, a hope that does not disappoint rises with us. It is true that the number of teens embracing homosexuality has become alarming, but we should trust God and reach out to gay youth with the message of salvation and sexual redemption available through the Lord Jesus Christ. I am grateful that Christians did that for me.

“My food is to do the will of him who sent me and to finish his work. Do you not say, ‘Four months more and then the harvest?’ I tell you, open your eyes and look at the fields! They are ripe for harvest” – Jesus Christ.”

The answer is most obviously “Yes.”

Apart from the broader goal of legitimizing homosexuality, the alleged aim of all “gay rights” initiatives, is to protect homosexuals from discrimination based solely on their “sexual orientation.” “Gay rights” advocates desire the freedom to practice their sexual “preferences” in a social environment free from prejudicial treatment by those who do not agree with homosexual practice.

Indeed, “Have homosexuals been the objects of scorn, ridicule and moral condemnation?” or “Have homosexuals been criminally abused and injured, as well as socially ostracized?’ – the answer is most obviously “yes.” But if we mean, “Have they been legally discriminated against in the same way as African-Americans or women, so that additional civil rights laws protecting them are necessary?” – the answer is decidedly “no.”

As citizens of the United States, individual homosexuals have all the fundamental rights accorded to every citizen: the right to vote, the right to privacy, the First Amendment rights of free speech, freedom of assembly, freedom of religion, etc. However, what homosexuals, or anyone else, for that matter, do not have, is the right to have no one disagree with them on the morality of homosexuality. Nor do they have the right to be free from “attitudinal discrimination” against their sexual orientation. But neither does anyone else have such a right.

Today, more than ever, many within gay communities around the world now view and classify the conservative Christian who holds to the traditional and Scripturally-correct view that “the practice of homosexuality is incompatible with Christian teaching and conduct” as being politically incorrect, intolerant and homophobic. Ultimately, the crisis we face today is not about homosexuality or gay rights, but rather a “crisis of truth.” Undeniably, ‘truth is’ and it matters greatly regarding homosexual practice and the promotion of gay civil rights.

“The gay agenda” is a phrase that implies a uniform social and political agenda shared by all homosexuals. It also implies there is something inherently wrong in having an agenda. Both points are untrue. There is great diversity among homosexuals, including political and social diversity. For that reason no one agenda could be nor is it shared by all homosexuals, although it is fair to say there are some goals – same-sex marriage, acceptance of gays in the military, and so on – that are common to the political gay rights movement, even if and when they are not shared by all homosexual people. However, to promote the idea that the gay community is a united front in terms of gay rights or even the word ‘gay’ to correctly denote homosexual practice is inaccurate and an illusion. Around the world there is great, great diversity within gay communities when it comes to the promotion of gay rights and homosexual practice.

Whether or not homosexuality is “good,” and therefore, whether or not it ought to be socially accepted, has nothing to do with its legality or its political correctness.

On Saturday, January 7, 2012, His Way Out Ministries will begin a new discipleship series that becomes a journey for those wanting to know the power of Christ to change an identity. By faith we will set out to take back our true identities in Christ as His sons.

The foundation of who we are, that ground, then becomes a solid place for us to build for our futures – a future that reflects Christ’s intent for our lives.

What will be covered during this year-long discipleship series meeting on the first and third Saturday of each month from 9:00am to 11:00am?

The Roots of Male Homosexuality
God’s Answer to Our Deepest Needs
Empowering the Will, Temptation
Accountability
Our Relational Nature
Developing Intimacy With Christ
The Battle for Our Souls
and much more!

Even now, mark your calendars to join us as we seek to be His disciples. There will be no fee for the series. However, registration is required. For further information regarding “The Journey,” please call our office at (661) 321-9551.

To be genuinely homophobic, a person must manifest an irrational fear or hatred of homosexuals. What would constitute an irrational fear? Something along the lines of believing one might become gay by just being in the presence of a homosexual or that one could get AIDS by driving a car serviced by a homosexual auto mechanic. Such attitudes need professional attention, as well as punitive action from society.

What isn’t homophobic is a reasoned, principled, even compassionate denial of the moral normalcy of homosexual acts. Nor is it homophobic to oppose social policies and legislation which grant protected status to those who engage in homosexual acts. It is not even necessarily homophobic to support anti-sodomy laws, if such support is motivated by the belief that such behavior is harmful to both individuals and society. It is not homophobic to try and convince others that homosexuality and the homosexual movement are wrong.

What many people forget, both among those for and against homosexual rights, is that it is quite possible both to judge a behavior or lifestyle as immoral, and yet treat individuals with the respect and dignity which they deserve. Ultimately, neither truth nor love is homophobic. Therefore, responses to homosexuality which bear these qualities can never be homophobic. Any society which seeks to base its public policy upon truth and love will ultimately gain one of the most precious of social virtues – justice.

Copyright © His Way Out Ministries

WHAT IS HOMOSEXUALITY?

Let’s begin by defining what homosexuality is and is not. It is not a strong attraction for those of the same sex. Someone who is tempted to steal something isn’t a thief until he actually gives in to his desire. And someone who’s been hurt by another may feel like hating that person but it’s when he gives himself over to this desire that he’s stepped over the line. That means giving your mind over to pursuing lustful thoughts (maybe through pornography), or giving your body over to pursue these desires. However, just having some kind of homosexual encounter in your past doesn’t necessarily mean that you’re “gay”.

A homosexual is a person who not only has a strong attraction for the same sex, but has also made the decision to yield to these desires. The gay mentality or life-style aren’t things you just “stumble” into, you walk into them step by step.

THE BIBLE

“So what’s wrong with being gay, anyway? It’s my sexual preference. What difference does it make? Didn’t God make us the way we are?” So many have struggled with homosexual desires that there’s a growing confusion as to whether or not it’s wrong, and whether a person can really be free from it all. There are a lot of “experts” who seem to come up with a new “answer” every day, but in order to get the unchanging truth, we need to look into the Bible. God has made each one of us in a special way, “custom designed” really. In fact, He holds the only patent on the human race. So if anyone knows how we’re supposed to work the best, He does! And to show us the right way to live, He has given us the Bible the most printed and read book in the world. God wants us to be filled with real happiness, and through the Bible He shows us the way to life, and the way to death.

DON’T BE LED ASTRAY

The Lord makes it clear that He never intended men and women to be gay, and He also makes it clear that those who practice these things cannot be at peace with Him or even at peace with themselves. He told us a long time ago, “Don’t fool yourselves. Those who live immoral lives, who are idol worshipers, adulterers or homosexuals will have no share in His kingdom.” (I Cor. 6:9-11 LB) And again He warns us, “The penalty of homosexual acts is death to both parties.” (Lev. 20:13 LB) Because of God’s heart toward us, He has given us these warnings for our own good.

Jesus said that He came to bring us life. Remember, He’s the One who designed you. He promises us that if we walk with Him, following His good directions and commands, we’ll have real happiness and there will be peace in our hearts. But He also promises that if we think we know better, and push away from Him to follow our selfishness, the exact opposite will happen to us.

CAN I BE FREE?

If you’re wondering if God will fix up your life, the answer is no, He won’t. He wants to give you a totally new life. Face it, you can’t change your desires, and without the power of the Living God in your life, you can’t even change your actions because you’re a slave to your appetites. Jesus said that “you shall know the truth, and the truth shall make you free.” (John 8:32) But you can’t be set free from the power of strong desires and wrong actions until you first admit that you’re a slave. You must see that you’ve been wrong for giving in to these desires if you’re guilty of doing that.

When you humble yourself before the Lord, admitting your guilt and shame, giving the reins of your life completely over to Him; then Jesus will come to you with loving forgiveness and life-changing power. As you yield your will to Jesus, He will lead you into the life of wholeness and peace that you’ve always really desired. God is what has been missing in your life all this time.

The Lord moves in different ways in each person’s life. Some people are instantly delivered from the power of these desires when they cry out to the Lord. Others are set free as they continue to follow Jesus, making right choices, and allowing His power to release them from years of wrong thought patterns and actions.

If you wonder if it’s really possible, even the very first Christians knew the freedom that Jesus brought:

“And you were dead in your trespasses and sins, in which you formerly walked. Among them we too all formerly lived in the lusts of our flesh, indulging the desires of the flesh and of the mind, and were by nature children of wrath, even as the rest. But God being rich in mercy, because of His great love with which He loved us, even when we were dead in our transgressions (sins), made us alive together with Christ.” (Eph. 2:15)

Did you know that Jesus went through exactly the same temptations as you? He knows just what it’s like, and He has victory for you. “We do not have a high priest who cannot sympathize with our weaknesses, but one who has been tempted in all things as we are, yet without sin. Let us therefore draw near with confidence to the throne of grace, that we may receive mercy and may find grace to help in time of need.” (Heb. 4:15-16)

Jesus really does care for you and always has. He’s not only willing to take away all of your guilt and shame, but if you will turn to Him with your heart, turning away from all you know to be wrong, He will give you a new life. That means not just turning from homosexuality, but from anything that holds you back from giving everything to the Lord; drinking, anger, hate, unforgiveness, love of money, lying, all those things. It may sound too simple, but the testimony of those who were once bound by homosexuality can confirm that the Lord is telling the truth.

“I have truly come out now. I have come out from the hell I was living. I have come out of the gay closet. And that’s what it was, a dark, closed-in, cluttered, confusing life-style, from which there is only one exit. That exit is Jesus, and He has set me free.”

Copyright © His Way Out Ministries

Homosexual behavior is an attempt to fulfill normal, legitimate needs for love, acceptance, and identity through sexual intimacy with someone of the same sex. Although the factors that contribute to the development of sexual orientation are complex and subtle, our experience suggests that one of the deepest roots of homosexuality is a break in relational bonds, especially those within the family, which stunts the development of the individual’s ability to healthily connect with others throughout life.

The security of a child depends on the three way bond of mother to child, father to child, and the often underemphasized bond between the parents. Any break, real or perceived, in these bonds can produce insecurity in him or her – and thus a lack of that sense of belonging and affirmation which is so vital in the development of gender identity.

If the child has an absent or an emotionally distant mother or father, he or she will feel a certain amount of vulnerability – a vague longing for closeness and protection that the parent has not been able to fulfill. In addition to this, if the young person has been subjected to sexual molestation, especially at the hands of a trusted adult such as a teacher, babysitter or relative, then the impact upon his or her ability to bond with others will be all the more devastating. In the face of this sense of exposure, the child may detach from the parent and other significant adults to one extent or another in order to avoid any further hurt and disappointment. This tendency to withdraw produces fear of intimacy, isolation from others, and envy on account of what is missing. It also adds to the weight of the heartfelt unworthiness and rejection that the young person is already carrying.

This leaves him or her with tremendous needs for affirmation and affection. In most instances the attraction for the same sex begins before the age of ten. It is emotional, non-sexual, and involuntary. With sexual immaturity, these needs become eroticized; sexual intimacy becomes a primary means for feeling loved and affirmed.

Hence, sexual activity offers some sense of being truly accepted. What seems to be “love” is received, the person extending this love is idolized, and as the pain becomes covered over with pleasure, a momentary sense of self esteem emerges – a temporary relief from the confusion of identity.

Thus, the homosexual condition is a result of the many hurts, real or perceived, that the child has suffered in the wake of a breach in relationship, overt or subtle, with a significant adult, usually of the same sex. The homosexual behavior is the activity that emerges as that “hurt child” seeks to fulfill these unmet love needs. He or she may not know how dismally these attempts will fail to impart the sense of completion and connectedness that is perhaps the most essential longing of the human soul.

The result of these efforts to meet one’s needs homosexually is that ultimately the loneliness remains and the individual is left more fragmented and ill-at-ease than ever. In addition to this emotional unwholeness, the person often blames God for his hurts and for creating him homosexual. This hinders his or her ability to trust the Creator and taste of the deep intimacy with Him that would provide comfort and strength in the face of as yet unmet inner longings.

ARE “THEY” BORN THAT WAY?

The teaching of Scripture is that God intended for men and women to experience relational completion – an easing of aloneness – through union with a partner who is sexually distinct from them and who can thereby be a true helpmate and companion in life.

“And God created man in His own image…male and female He created them. Then the Lord God said, ‘It is not good that the man should be alone: I will make him a helper suitable for him.’” Genesis 1:27, 2:18.

Homosexuality is a relational dysfunction, and is condemned by Scripture as contrary to God’s revealed intent for man’s sexuality. In light of this, one can be sure that whether homosexuality is the result of developmental causes or inborn characteristics, it is not the result of an act of creation by God.

But is it inborn? Much research has been done in an attempt to prove that it is, but no concrete evidence has been found to support this theory. In fact, two very famous researchers in the field, Masters & Johnson, have this to say in their well known book, Human Sexuality. “Despite the interest in possible hormone mechanisms in the origin of homosexuality, no serious scientist today suggests that a simple cause-effect relationship applies.” and, “The genetic theory of homosexuality has been generally discarded today.”

IS THERE HOPE FOR HEALING?

Homosexuality is clearly a two fold condition. A fallen world imposes wounds, fears, identity confusion, and alienation; people react with sinful choices in an attempt to restore what has been broken and gain consolation in the midst of pain and need. Yet, the goal remains unreached; the promise of real lasting fulfillment proves to be all too elusive.

THE WAY OUT

Jesus Christ is the alternative. He addresses the problem – man limited to self – and provides the way through which we can find fulfillment in God and His people. By releasing us from the dictates of the past, Jesus frees us to live as new creatures. The Holy Spirit carries on that process of change in our lives. But questions and struggles continue. His Way Out Ministries arose in response to these needs, with the aim of encouraging those with a gay background on to wholeness in Jesus. His grace is sufficient, for His strength is made perfect in weakness. He provides the mooring point for a new identity – the center out of which a true sense of wellbeing can be enjoyed. As we draw close to Him we are enabled to reflect His image in our humanity more and more fully.

The goal of our growth is the freedom to love aright – to relate intimately but non-erotically to the same sex, and to be able to address the opposite sex as a needed counterpart without fear or disinterest. As we at His Way Out Ministries believe such love is Christ’s intent for us, we affirm His capacity to carry it out in our lives, and in the lives of those who seek to be free from homosexuality.

Copyright © His Way Out Ministries